Westwind:
I am LA also. I go to AA, too, I don't really think anyone would be spending that much time on thinking about why you are going to AA. People are usually more consumed by themselves than others, just my thoughts.
rachel
I really appreciate that, Rachel. Jeeze, when I read your post I got all this anxiety, like "what if she goes to the same chapter as my brother and his gf? She knows!" lol, talk about paranoid...
You're probably right, but I just can't help feeling like I'll be "extra judged" because I was in a drug abusing family and didn't come earlier because I knew I'd eventually end up there. Does that make sense? It's complicated, I guess, but AA is my brothers whole life, and I'd hate to "tag along", like I always have for our entire lives. If I can't quit, I know I'll have to, though. That's part of the reason I'm going to stick to this now, so that I don't have to go there.
You're probably right, but I just can't help feeling like I'll be "extra judged" because I was in a drug abusing family and didn't come earlier because I knew I'd eventually end up there. Does that make sense? It's complicated, I guess, but AA is my brothers whole life, and I'd hate to "tag along", like I always have for our entire lives. If I can't quit, I know I'll have to, though. That's part of the reason I'm going to stick to this now, so that I don't have to go there.
Hi, this thread reminded me of an experience I had a few years ago.
I was in a club with a live band and right in the middle of a song, the singer stopped and yelled out "lorecet!" to the crowd. To my astonishment, the whole place cheered. The place was literally filled to capacity with people. I just couldn't believe all those people were cheering for drugs. Even though I was in active addiction at the time, I was amazed at the reaction. Yeah, I think maybe the whole world is on drugs.....or at least everyone in that club that night. Love, Kat
I was in a club with a live band and right in the middle of a song, the singer stopped and yelled out "lorecet!" to the crowd. To my astonishment, the whole place cheered. The place was literally filled to capacity with people. I just couldn't believe all those people were cheering for drugs. Even though I was in active addiction at the time, I was amazed at the reaction. Yeah, I think maybe the whole world is on drugs.....or at least everyone in that club that night. Love, Kat
Hi WW:
You're funny, I doubt your brother and I go to the same meeting, lol. Isn't it funny how as addicts, we are truly self obsessed? I know when I first went to a meeting I wouldn't even get up to use the restroom, for fear of what everybody was thinking about ME. Now, I realize it isn't all about me, all of the time, ( just some of the time). I hope you are feeling better everyday...Are you working?
RAchel
You're funny, I doubt your brother and I go to the same meeting, lol. Isn't it funny how as addicts, we are truly self obsessed? I know when I first went to a meeting I wouldn't even get up to use the restroom, for fear of what everybody was thinking about ME. Now, I realize it isn't all about me, all of the time, ( just some of the time). I hope you are feeling better everyday...Are you working?
RAchel
Thanks for the reply, Rachel. Yes, addicts are so self consumed with their own thoughts, I know I always worry about what other people are thinking about me, even though they're probably just thinking about what they're going to have for lunch.
No, I'm not working right now. My company went through a merger about a month ago, and I had just gotten this big check from my divorce. That's kind of why I went so overboard with pills, I think. I just had so much free time and I was so depressed that my intake just jumped. I've been looking for work, I have a really great job opportunity right now and I'm just brushing up on my studies to get it. I'm lucky, I live with my brother and he really takes care of me. Our Mother died last year and we really had a hard time with it. That's when I started taking pills. Now that I'm sober it's like going through that pain all over again.
No, I'm not working right now. My company went through a merger about a month ago, and I had just gotten this big check from my divorce. That's kind of why I went so overboard with pills, I think. I just had so much free time and I was so depressed that my intake just jumped. I've been looking for work, I have a really great job opportunity right now and I'm just brushing up on my studies to get it. I'm lucky, I live with my brother and he really takes care of me. Our Mother died last year and we really had a hard time with it. That's when I started taking pills. Now that I'm sober it's like going through that pain all over again.
Hey WW:
I hope you are having a nice evening. Your brother sounds like a great guy. Good luck with the job.
Rachel
I hope you are having a nice evening. Your brother sounds like a great guy. Good luck with the job.
Rachel
