It feels strange to talk or write about this with anyone, but here goes. I've been a daily user of pot for the past 17 or so years. During that time I have tried to quit for about the past 15 or so years with obviously no success. I was a very hyperactive youth and grass helped me to slow down and process instead of impulse and action. Like many others, I started smoking with my highschool friends and we would have a good ole time together, yet I started to notice some changes in me. First, I began to lose confidence in myself and my ideas. Next I became extremely paranoid, which led to jealous rage as time wore on, destroying a beautiful reltionship that I had with my highschool sweetheart while we were in college. Yet, this never stopped me. I was and in some respects still am an outgoing person, but when I smoke, I become a shelled in hermit. Even though I have smoked for many years, I have still been able to function at a decently high level, but have fought depression for many years and almost killed myself one night playing russian roullet by myself, thank God the dresser drawer got the bullet instead of me (I have never spoken or written of this incident before today). I have ridden the rolercoaster of quitting many, many times but always seem to end up, after a week or a month of sobriety, smoking with a friend or outright buying a sack and going into a couple of days of straight out binging. During this time, I have been able to marry an amazing women who is straight as an arrow and have a beautiful child whom I love and adore, but I still can't quit. I have flushed hundreds of dollars worth of some of the prettiest nugs you have ever seen down the toilet all in an attempt to quit, only to buy another sack in a week or two or to catch myself in the garage smoking resin balls that I scraped off an old napkin from years ago. The depression and hopelessness are really starting to affect me and my performance at work is suffering too. I have read many of the posts on this forum and was inspired myself to write. There is so much that has happen over the past 17 years, but from the outside, you would not be able to tell that I lead this double life. On the outside I am just like everyone else, in fact others look to me for help with their own lives because I portray confidence, optimism and understanding, as I am told. Yet on the inside, I am hollow at times, and filled with anxiety and fear, things I never felt before I smoked grass. The worst part is that I am so good at hiding what I do, that I have been stoned for the majority of the past 7 years and lived with the woman I am now married to and she has no clue that I am a stoner. I could go on and on about things that have happen over the years but instead I am going to ask for help. What have you done to stop that has worked? How do you get through the cravings? I need help and I just don't know what else to do, any replies are appreciated.
Wow! How d'ya hide it like that from your partner!
Hi there,
Basically giving up is tough. You have to really want to do it. I like you have had a love affair with weed for many many years. I tried alot of times to stop. It is still difficult after 11 months especially if I smell it. It got to a point with me when my health was on the brink of deteriorating I suppose and that forced me to stop. With weed when I had a smoke my heart would start racing so much it actually got scary. If I really want a smoke that thought of what my heart will do puts me off. Also the mental stuff it leaves behind isn't fun. I've got a pretty scarred mind.
It took years of pain, suffering and crap for me to stop - I am a complete alcohol abuser as well. The will to be straight eventually overides the will to be stoned. It is also quite interesting to really get to know yourself when you stop. I used to be a delusional, self centred know it all. I am definatley becoming more humble and less egotistical which is really relieving actually. Giving it up definatley has its good side I am coming to realise, and it is still early days really. Hopefully it will get better rather than just a self pitying feeling of loosing something.
The only thing that made me stop, and I tried alot of times, was wanting to. The cravings, well, I eat alot of chocolate nowadays.
So, yes, there is a way out for you, and I hope you can work out which way it is. It is different for everyone.
Hi there,
Basically giving up is tough. You have to really want to do it. I like you have had a love affair with weed for many many years. I tried alot of times to stop. It is still difficult after 11 months especially if I smell it. It got to a point with me when my health was on the brink of deteriorating I suppose and that forced me to stop. With weed when I had a smoke my heart would start racing so much it actually got scary. If I really want a smoke that thought of what my heart will do puts me off. Also the mental stuff it leaves behind isn't fun. I've got a pretty scarred mind.
It took years of pain, suffering and crap for me to stop - I am a complete alcohol abuser as well. The will to be straight eventually overides the will to be stoned. It is also quite interesting to really get to know yourself when you stop. I used to be a delusional, self centred know it all. I am definatley becoming more humble and less egotistical which is really relieving actually. Giving it up definatley has its good side I am coming to realise, and it is still early days really. Hopefully it will get better rather than just a self pitying feeling of loosing something.
The only thing that made me stop, and I tried alot of times, was wanting to. The cravings, well, I eat alot of chocolate nowadays.
So, yes, there is a way out for you, and I hope you can work out which way it is. It is different for everyone.
Lacey
Thanks for sharing, I especially like the "love affair reference" with grass; I too know that feeling. To answer you question about how I keep this from my partner, it kills me when I look at my family and they are the main reason I want to quit. My biggest problem is impulse. I am a very impulsive and coercive person, and am very good at pursuasion, but I use these skills on myself at times. The pursuasive side of me makes sense out of something that I know is bad for my health, family, worklife, social life, appearance, etc. In most cases, I do the right things, but when it comes to this "love affair," I can't seem to put this one in my past.
Thanks again for your reply!
Thanks for sharing, I especially like the "love affair reference" with grass; I too know that feeling. To answer you question about how I keep this from my partner, it kills me when I look at my family and they are the main reason I want to quit. My biggest problem is impulse. I am a very impulsive and coercive person, and am very good at pursuasion, but I use these skills on myself at times. The pursuasive side of me makes sense out of something that I know is bad for my health, family, worklife, social life, appearance, etc. In most cases, I do the right things, but when it comes to this "love affair," I can't seem to put this one in my past.
Thanks again for your reply!
Speck;
I just read your post and would like to say congrats for reaching out and being really honest with your words.
I too am struggling with marijuana addiction as well as alcoholism.
For myself, I find setting a quit date helpful. Currently I am looking for work but when I was working I liked to quit on a Monday to start the week off right. As a matter of fact my new quit date is tomorrow Jan. 29th.
I also like what the 12 step programs have to offer for support and I often visit the site ma-online.org, it's like AA but for pot heads.
This site is a good source of support for me especially when I am posting and getting involved.
I read once that to change ones mind, is to change ones body. That being said when I don't smoke and drink I commit to doing some exercise in the morning usually before work. It changes my whole out look, and helps me to be clear.
Something else I use to help the withdrawal is a product called greens+. It helps to draw the MJ from the fat in the body where it is stored. Greens+ also alkalizes the body which helps an overly acidic system. I have come to learn that withdrawal just sucks and I have to go through it but with greens+ it happens a little more quickly. The first week was a little tough but after 2 weeks I was feeling much better. One of those things that hurts when you start but gets better as you go. Greens+ is in powder form which I add to apple juice, shake and drink. It's kinda pricey but worth it as a serving is something like 6 cups of organic salad and 4 cups of fruit. That may be a bit of an exaggeration but I remember it being a lot.
Anyways, this is what came to mind after reading your post, I hope it helps. I wish you all the best with your efforts to quit.
Thanks for listening
Athena
I just read your post and would like to say congrats for reaching out and being really honest with your words.
I too am struggling with marijuana addiction as well as alcoholism.
For myself, I find setting a quit date helpful. Currently I am looking for work but when I was working I liked to quit on a Monday to start the week off right. As a matter of fact my new quit date is tomorrow Jan. 29th.
I also like what the 12 step programs have to offer for support and I often visit the site ma-online.org, it's like AA but for pot heads.
This site is a good source of support for me especially when I am posting and getting involved.
I read once that to change ones mind, is to change ones body. That being said when I don't smoke and drink I commit to doing some exercise in the morning usually before work. It changes my whole out look, and helps me to be clear.
Something else I use to help the withdrawal is a product called greens+. It helps to draw the MJ from the fat in the body where it is stored. Greens+ also alkalizes the body which helps an overly acidic system. I have come to learn that withdrawal just sucks and I have to go through it but with greens+ it happens a little more quickly. The first week was a little tough but after 2 weeks I was feeling much better. One of those things that hurts when you start but gets better as you go. Greens+ is in powder form which I add to apple juice, shake and drink. It's kinda pricey but worth it as a serving is something like 6 cups of organic salad and 4 cups of fruit. That may be a bit of an exaggeration but I remember it being a lot.
Anyways, this is what came to mind after reading your post, I hope it helps. I wish you all the best with your efforts to quit.
Thanks for listening
Athena
i've been on and off for many many yrs(am 48), i know what the word ~chronic means for sure, i've been off since mid august, have no cravings feel great, it can be done. keep away from potheads, get rid of the music and trinkets and miscellany that goes with the habit, change, get into the mainstream of society, it feels good not to have monKey on back everyday. save lots of $$ too.
speck, there is so much that you said that I can relate to! I also have been able to hide my addiction from my wife, even though she has known i'm a smoker prone to relapse, i can stay off for months or a year or two, then quietly slip back into it. also, same as for you, i considered my adolsence to be very hyperactive and smoking settles me down, also although I continue to function at a very high level, it does make me hermit like, and stops me from growing and making new friends, that has all changed since i've been off since august, although this is just one of many times i've been able to quit for significant time periods.
i find that exercise is very very helpful. when i'm wound, exercising to sweating always helpls and settles me down. also, consider counseling, some are better than others, but taking a step and making a committment and looking for advice is a step in the right direction.
hopefully you know and accept in your heart that living as a pot addict is not what your soul and family want for you, there is a better you inside, and pot does not let your full You be expressed and that is what life is all about, expressing yourself.
good luck, i'll try to check back here. i'm rooting for you. it can be done! there are millions of us former pot addicts who have been able to kick the monkey. fortunately it is not that terrible of an addiction, it can be beat.
i find that exercise is very very helpful. when i'm wound, exercising to sweating always helpls and settles me down. also, consider counseling, some are better than others, but taking a step and making a committment and looking for advice is a step in the right direction.
hopefully you know and accept in your heart that living as a pot addict is not what your soul and family want for you, there is a better you inside, and pot does not let your full You be expressed and that is what life is all about, expressing yourself.
good luck, i'll try to check back here. i'm rooting for you. it can be done! there are millions of us former pot addicts who have been able to kick the monkey. fortunately it is not that terrible of an addiction, it can be beat.
I smoiked for about 17 years. Stopping was not that difficult, but staying stopped was the trouble. On Feb 1 I will not have smoked for a year. It was so much a part of my life, that I nver imagined I could live without. But the last year has been fantastic.
When I stopped i went to na meetings and work a 12 step programme. There I have a lot about the nature of addiction, as well as coping mechanisms to stay stopped. So far its working.
I am also a believer in just for today. Do not worry about 2 weeks time. Each day, try and stay clean just for that day.
I also found exercise helps.
It is possible though
Go for it!
Calabash
When I stopped i went to na meetings and work a 12 step programme. There I have a lot about the nature of addiction, as well as coping mechanisms to stay stopped. So far its working.
I am also a believer in just for today. Do not worry about 2 weeks time. Each day, try and stay clean just for that day.
I also found exercise helps.
It is possible though
Go for it!
Calabash
