Let me start by saying that I really only have one true friend left out of the many friends I had since high school. My husband pushed most of them away and I let him. But Angie won't allow him to push her away. She has stuck by me through everything. When I was away in rehab for 6 weeks at the age of 15, she was the one who was my biggest supporter when I got out. She even went as far as accompanying me to my first few meetings on my own.
Up until recently, she never knew about my addiction to pills. She has known of my love affair with alcohol over the years. She has known I dabbled with other things from time to time. I came clean with her a few months ago (after I had been free from pills for about a week). She has asked me every time we talk "how I'm doing" and I am honest with her. She knows I went back to the pills. When she asked how often I take them, she seemed horrified when I told her it is every day...every waking minute. But she doesn't love me any less for it. She may even love me more. I don't know.
So, I guess my question is, why am I now trying to push her away? She would do anything in her power to "save me" or to help me save myself. Do I not want to be saved? Maybe I don't feel like I will ever find recovery and I don't want to hurt her? I don't know. She tried to call again last night and when I saw her name on the caller ID I didn't pick up the phone. I know that isolation just throws fuel on the fire of addiction.
Any thoughts on this? I am curious to hear about the isolation others have felt.
I see this behavior with my husband. He has done that with the phone when someone calls for him. But I answer and give him the phone anyway. I know that those he is pushing away are the ones he needs the most in his life. People who care, love him for what he is and nothing else. This is important because they are stablity in times of chaos....Strange how he gets on the phone and is laughing before to long, and happy in the end that I am a b*tch and refuse to listen at times.
I think if he could have his way he would be all alone, stuck in whatever reality he chose to play in.
I told him be careful what he wish for he just might get it.....
The isolation is so damaging, and it isn't you. I see this over and over. My friends watching addiciton like I am are pushed as well, and those I know still stuck in h*ll, push everyone away, hide themselves for life....
I will ask what are you afraid of your friend seeing. She sounds like a wonderful person who isn't judgemental. She loves you for what you are, and is concerned. I know 100% that she wants you to get that she is always there, and is keeping the door open even though you are trying to close it.
I hope that you understand that for all the feelings of guilt and shame you may have, for all the questions as to why she is still around, that she is a good thing in your life.....Take it for what it is, a good friendship and hang on to it for dear life. Not many are blessed with friends who love them for what they are, not what they wish to make them be.......
Take care,
Love,
Tina
I think if he could have his way he would be all alone, stuck in whatever reality he chose to play in.
I told him be careful what he wish for he just might get it.....
The isolation is so damaging, and it isn't you. I see this over and over. My friends watching addiciton like I am are pushed as well, and those I know still stuck in h*ll, push everyone away, hide themselves for life....
I will ask what are you afraid of your friend seeing. She sounds like a wonderful person who isn't judgemental. She loves you for what you are, and is concerned. I know 100% that she wants you to get that she is always there, and is keeping the door open even though you are trying to close it.
I hope that you understand that for all the feelings of guilt and shame you may have, for all the questions as to why she is still around, that she is a good thing in your life.....Take it for what it is, a good friendship and hang on to it for dear life. Not many are blessed with friends who love them for what they are, not what they wish to make them be.......
Take care,
Love,
Tina
I am sooo very glad you brought this up !!
When I began my recovery I was always surrounded
by friends. In the past year I do the same thing with
my friends. They call and I just look at my phone and
wait for it to stop ringing. I want to pick it up, but can't.
I have pushed so many away. The only person I talk to
every time they call is my sopsonor. Even my family when
they call or just pop by I think great now I have to face them.
Also I am a stay at home wife and mom. For a long time
I didn't want to leave ! I mean not even to go to the store.
Even now I enjoy being alone for the most part. I was never
like this.
When I began my recovery I was always surrounded
by friends. In the past year I do the same thing with
my friends. They call and I just look at my phone and
wait for it to stop ringing. I want to pick it up, but can't.
I have pushed so many away. The only person I talk to
every time they call is my sopsonor. Even my family when
they call or just pop by I think great now I have to face them.
Also I am a stay at home wife and mom. For a long time
I didn't want to leave ! I mean not even to go to the store.
Even now I enjoy being alone for the most part. I was never
like this.
from: egetgoing.com
"Addiction may start with recreational or social use of alcohol or drugs. In the more advanced stages of the disease, chemical dependency often isolates addicts or alcoholics from others. Their efforts to maintain their addiction usually distance them from family and friends. The isolation of addiction occurs as their involvement with the substances they use becomes an obsession that blocks out real involvements with family and friends.
As the disease progresses, chemically dependent individuals find the company of normal people too painful, or too intrusive, to bear... ."
dear jodi ~
isolation is a defense mechanism we addicts employ. i don't know if you are still using or not; yet from experience i can tell you that i didn't need to be taking/abusing drugs in order to isolate. my problem was me and in order to find the solution to my problem, i had to get out of me. getting out of me took a whole lot of help from others who had walked this path before me and a little willingness on my side.
i wonder what would happen if you picked up the phone today and called your friend? angie sounds like a friend i would want in my life. today in your prayers or meditation or quiet time, may i suggest that you might consider asking for a little willingness. a little willingness goes a long way.
hugs and much encouragement to you ~
sammy
"Addiction may start with recreational or social use of alcohol or drugs. In the more advanced stages of the disease, chemical dependency often isolates addicts or alcoholics from others. Their efforts to maintain their addiction usually distance them from family and friends. The isolation of addiction occurs as their involvement with the substances they use becomes an obsession that blocks out real involvements with family and friends.
As the disease progresses, chemically dependent individuals find the company of normal people too painful, or too intrusive, to bear... ."
dear jodi ~
isolation is a defense mechanism we addicts employ. i don't know if you are still using or not; yet from experience i can tell you that i didn't need to be taking/abusing drugs in order to isolate. my problem was me and in order to find the solution to my problem, i had to get out of me. getting out of me took a whole lot of help from others who had walked this path before me and a little willingness on my side.
i wonder what would happen if you picked up the phone today and called your friend? angie sounds like a friend i would want in my life. today in your prayers or meditation or quiet time, may i suggest that you might consider asking for a little willingness. a little willingness goes a long way.
hugs and much encouragement to you ~
sammy
Jodi
When I was still using I didn't have time for anyone that was not using too. I pushed away family and friends and surrounded myself with people that were just like me. Why? Because of the guilt and shame I felt. What if they saw me when I was so high I couldn't keep my eyes open or was slurring? What if they saw how sick I was with my baggy and black eyes? I would have been mortified. So I isolated. And felt sorry for myself that all my friends left me. It didn't matter that I pushed them away, it was THEIR fault. In AA I found all the friends I need. Not just acquaintences, true friends. They trust me. They are there for me when I need them. I am grateful God gave them to me. They are there for you too and so am I.
When I was still using I didn't have time for anyone that was not using too. I pushed away family and friends and surrounded myself with people that were just like me. Why? Because of the guilt and shame I felt. What if they saw me when I was so high I couldn't keep my eyes open or was slurring? What if they saw how sick I was with my baggy and black eyes? I would have been mortified. So I isolated. And felt sorry for myself that all my friends left me. It didn't matter that I pushed them away, it was THEIR fault. In AA I found all the friends I need. Not just acquaintences, true friends. They trust me. They are there for me when I need them. I am grateful God gave them to me. They are there for you too and so am I.
The isolation didn't start until I was sober. It's well over a year and I am just now calling and taking the baby on play dates with my friends kids. I think it is cause they will ask so what you been doing ? Well staying sober..... taking one day at a time. I don't like explaining myself all the time.
I wanted to pop on here real quick and say thank you so much to those who have responded. I wish I had the time to address each of you individually right now but I don't. I will have more time tomorrow. Alot of the things I am reading are making so much sense though.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sammy,
I just wanted to add a little P.S. to my post. I think I will give her a call tonight. The last time I actually picked up the phone and made the effort to call her, she later admitted to me that it just made her day. It really is the little things you do that can make someone happy, isn't it? I don't know what I ever did to deserve her friendship and devotion but I really am grateful for her and she needs to know that.
Have a great day.
I just wanted to add a little P.S. to my post. I think I will give her a call tonight. The last time I actually picked up the phone and made the effort to call her, she later admitted to me that it just made her day. It really is the little things you do that can make someone happy, isn't it? I don't know what I ever did to deserve her friendship and devotion but I really am grateful for her and she needs to know that.
Have a great day.
Hi Jodi;
I've always been real good at isolating emotionally. I may be present physically, but mentally I've checked out and my mind gets busy working on all of the justifications to do so. I stuff my feelings, make assumptions of what others think, clam up, fall into the "poor me" syndrome. Anything but confront and effectively deal with my issues.
Each time I've relapsed I knew I had these characters flaws that needed to be addressed in order to stay clean. But just knowing this didn't work for me. I kept slipping back. There was always a missing piece - understanding why I've behaved the way I have. Good and bad. During the past three months, with the help of a good therapist, I've been able to connect the dots, so to speak. Suffice to say there is a lot of childhood "stuff" that I've carried forward.
My recovery is still a work-in-progress (I suspect it always will be), but at least now it's beginning to makes sense - why I've used alcohol and drugs that is. I'm able to intellectualize how I sabotage myself with negative behaviors (isolating, feeling sorry for myself, not being assertive, etc.) and when they creep back in I see them for what they are and most of the time I reject this behavior as unacceptable. But not all the time. I still have my moments, but that's because I've been doing it for so long. Old habits die hard. But I won't use today because I know better. We are teachable!
As long as I stay honest with myself I'll be okay. Life is a journey, and I hope you're able to find the peace that you deserve.
Jim
I've always been real good at isolating emotionally. I may be present physically, but mentally I've checked out and my mind gets busy working on all of the justifications to do so. I stuff my feelings, make assumptions of what others think, clam up, fall into the "poor me" syndrome. Anything but confront and effectively deal with my issues.
Each time I've relapsed I knew I had these characters flaws that needed to be addressed in order to stay clean. But just knowing this didn't work for me. I kept slipping back. There was always a missing piece - understanding why I've behaved the way I have. Good and bad. During the past three months, with the help of a good therapist, I've been able to connect the dots, so to speak. Suffice to say there is a lot of childhood "stuff" that I've carried forward.
My recovery is still a work-in-progress (I suspect it always will be), but at least now it's beginning to makes sense - why I've used alcohol and drugs that is. I'm able to intellectualize how I sabotage myself with negative behaviors (isolating, feeling sorry for myself, not being assertive, etc.) and when they creep back in I see them for what they are and most of the time I reject this behavior as unacceptable. But not all the time. I still have my moments, but that's because I've been doing it for so long. Old habits die hard. But I won't use today because I know better. We are teachable!
As long as I stay honest with myself I'll be okay. Life is a journey, and I hope you're able to find the peace that you deserve.
Jim
Jodi-Shes going to love you whether you push her away or not,so stop trying.Continue being honest with her because someday she may be the only one you will ever have to turn to.She sounds like shes not going to be nullified by that piece of sh*t your married to,so not answering a few phone calls wont drive her away.She understands addiction. Isolation is one of the ubiquitous characteristics of this illness.
At least you are still post.How many percocets are you taking a day and how much are you drinking?Is it escalating?Whats going on with you?
At least you are still post.How many percocets are you taking a day and how much are you drinking?Is it escalating?Whats going on with you?
Jodi,i can relate to the isolating. I do/did the same thing.Im still having trouble with it at 4 months clean. I dont know what motivated others to do it,but for me,i just dont feel like talking to people.While using i just feel inadequate. I feel like i dont want to see/hear how others lives are going,so i just keep/kept to myself.Sounds like youve got yourself a real true friend,and it doesnt look like shes going to give up on you anythime soon.Right now you may not feel like talking to her,but eventually you will again.For now,i would just simply tell her the truth,youre not in the mood to talk or hang out right now,tell her you love her and appreciate her always being there,but right now you need to be alone.Tomorrw you may feel different,dont feel guilty about it,dont avoid her,just tell her the truth,and that will leave the door open for when youre ready to be close with her again.Im still having trouble getting back into the social aspect of things,but slowly but surely im doing it.Good luck~KIM
Hey Jodi,
When I decided to get clean, I came to a painful realization. I did not have a single clean friend left. I was by no means friendless, but they all used. (or were a source)
I never dreamed I was the type to isolate, but I had done it. I didn't have anything in common with old friends. They might have understood my life if I'd told them, but I was too secretive for that. In retrospect, that was so incredibly selfish of me. I just threw people away that had once meant something to me.
Hang onto your friend, Jodi. It might take some effort on your part, but at least it will be one less regret for you down the road.
Love, Kat
When I decided to get clean, I came to a painful realization. I did not have a single clean friend left. I was by no means friendless, but they all used. (or were a source)
I never dreamed I was the type to isolate, but I had done it. I didn't have anything in common with old friends. They might have understood my life if I'd told them, but I was too secretive for that. In retrospect, that was so incredibly selfish of me. I just threw people away that had once meant something to me.
Hang onto your friend, Jodi. It might take some effort on your part, but at least it will be one less regret for you down the road.
Love, Kat
Tim,
I didn't answer that question the other night when you asked me either because I didn't want to get jumped on for posting anything that might trigger someone. I will be glad to e-mail you if you really want to know. Just let me know. I won't have a chance until tomorrow because I am off to my bankruptcy hearing in a few minutes. Lucky me, huh?
BTW...you said "atleast I still post". Most of the time I don't feel right posting here. But I do it anyways because it's all I've got to hold on to right now.
I will reply to all of you tomorrow.
I didn't answer that question the other night when you asked me either because I didn't want to get jumped on for posting anything that might trigger someone. I will be glad to e-mail you if you really want to know. Just let me know. I won't have a chance until tomorrow because I am off to my bankruptcy hearing in a few minutes. Lucky me, huh?
BTW...you said "atleast I still post". Most of the time I don't feel right posting here. But I do it anyways because it's all I've got to hold on to right now.
I will reply to all of you tomorrow.
Jodi, just thought that I would let you know that I am the Queen of Isolation... I hate being around other people and crowds. In the past, I always loved to go out and shop and just be around others but in the past few years I have become attatched to my home. I hate feeling this way and hopefully, with time, this feeling will go away.
Please don't give up on your sobriety, we are all pulling for you. You'll get there, one baby step at a time. Until the next time, I will keep you in my prayers.
Please don't give up on your sobriety, we are all pulling for you. You'll get there, one baby step at a time. Until the next time, I will keep you in my prayers.
I too don't ever feel like talking to people hardly anymore on the phone, especially when I am going through withdrawls, talking on the phone is the last thing I want to do. I liked talking when I was giddy on pills, but I wouldn't that much because I didn't want to "waste my buzz" . how pathetic huh?
I usually just let voice mail pick up and say later I was sleeping, or my daughter was taking up all my attention. I would blame a lot of me being unsociable on my little girl.
Stacey
I usually just let voice mail pick up and say later I was sleeping, or my daughter was taking up all my attention. I would blame a lot of me being unsociable on my little girl.
Stacey
Stacey,
Does that mean when i called you last night and you didnt answer you were really THERE?!!!!! LOLOLOLOOL
Great topic, fasinating. i completely agree with this, not even sure when it started for me....stopped answering the phone....if the phone rang, my husband will say, " Whos that?" and I'll say " I dont knwo honey im not a mind reader.
I told him just because the phone rings doesnt mean I have to be a robot and automatically jump up and answer it...slowly the isolation hs become worse.
" Wanna go for out for dinner tonight?" Uh..No thanks rather stay home. Christmas parties? No dont fel like going.
Lately this isolation has gotten sooo bad I have been questioning my sanity. Bills come in, i dont open them, put the on my desk with the best of intentions....I have long since forgottn who gets paid on what day.Knowing the bills are there just adds to my stress, i have the money to pay them but cant address them...cant open them. my single friend...a mother of 5 called me the other day. Things were tight. Could I lend her money?. Of course.
yet it took me 2 hours to work my way to the computer to tansfer it...the very thought of dealing with it was overwhelming, I'll do it after my tea, after I vacum, after i watch Oprah, getting more and more stressed out about it.WHY???????
So after reading this maybe im not alone....started thinking i have some brain defect, an inability to complete things........i finally paid the amex bill but only becase they called, then paid double so theyd leave me alone for another month.
This bill thing has only been going on for about 6 months, but the isolation of self for years. I fel bad, this is not the woman my husband married...he deserves the old me back. the finisher of projects, the social butterfly...
Wish i had the answers....hope this isolation thing goes away...before i screw up our credit rating AND my marriage as well..
Great post, thanks for thinking of it.
Hugs to all,
Ali
Does that mean when i called you last night and you didnt answer you were really THERE?!!!!! LOLOLOLOOL
Great topic, fasinating. i completely agree with this, not even sure when it started for me....stopped answering the phone....if the phone rang, my husband will say, " Whos that?" and I'll say " I dont knwo honey im not a mind reader.
I told him just because the phone rings doesnt mean I have to be a robot and automatically jump up and answer it...slowly the isolation hs become worse.
" Wanna go for out for dinner tonight?" Uh..No thanks rather stay home. Christmas parties? No dont fel like going.
Lately this isolation has gotten sooo bad I have been questioning my sanity. Bills come in, i dont open them, put the on my desk with the best of intentions....I have long since forgottn who gets paid on what day.Knowing the bills are there just adds to my stress, i have the money to pay them but cant address them...cant open them. my single friend...a mother of 5 called me the other day. Things were tight. Could I lend her money?. Of course.
yet it took me 2 hours to work my way to the computer to tansfer it...the very thought of dealing with it was overwhelming, I'll do it after my tea, after I vacum, after i watch Oprah, getting more and more stressed out about it.WHY???????
So after reading this maybe im not alone....started thinking i have some brain defect, an inability to complete things........i finally paid the amex bill but only becase they called, then paid double so theyd leave me alone for another month.
This bill thing has only been going on for about 6 months, but the isolation of self for years. I fel bad, this is not the woman my husband married...he deserves the old me back. the finisher of projects, the social butterfly...
Wish i had the answers....hope this isolation thing goes away...before i screw up our credit rating AND my marriage as well..
Great post, thanks for thinking of it.
Hugs to all,
Ali
jodi,
I feel the same way its goten alittle better since sub.but,not much ..Before sub.i was locked in my bedroom telling the kids go away and when they ask if they could do something and if it was something they could do by themselfs...I tell them yes to be alone.I had many to call and call i didnt answer and still some times want answer...I would hide in the bedroom and some knew i was in thier.Some of them would come right in.I remember being in bad w/ds and 3 friends came over they had been calling all morning.One is on pills too.She came over to try and get a few.They came right in and knew where to find me....The one on pills she been in rehab about 10 times sometimes would sign in just for a night or two...She knew what it was all about ,they would medicate a few days.Last time she went to one been thier 3 different times they refuse to see her....I dont see how she does it.She has lost her 3 childern all them in different homes infact she cant keep a home for herself.Running from man to man.I dont see how she gets out the house everyday looking for pills.I couldnt do it ..i would pay my dealers gas to bring them to me.I also know other a mom and 3 daughters one daughter is my sister and law.They stay in hospitals,and doctors office in w/ds...I wonder if this is a bad case of depresstion.I keep wondering if i get something for depresstion if it would help.I hate to be w.d from some of these friends and family.I feel i hurt them.My aunt has been calling and calling for 3 weeks. i dont answer last time i did told her i was depressed and i dont realy want to be bothered.Every since i told her this.She just calls and calls now saying she comeing if i dont call.Thank God,she dont live close by...I thought i would go ahead and explain it to her and ever since i told her i was on pills and seen a pys. and on sub. now.I told her i havent dealt with my mothers death haveing a rough time.Also,with money and christmas on top of all this.I know they mean well.But,i wish they would just be understanding and let me be.I dont expect my kids and husband to leave me alone i know they need me.When i do get out the house its like IVE GOT TOO when i do...I do feel better when i do ..Its weird but,i feel better even when i get home.its just getting myself out the door.Ive gained alot of weight lately and its bothering me....I dont eat alot late night mostly.then im not exciseing like i should.I wish i could just snap out of it...If its depresstion do or can i snap out of it?Thanks for posting about this tonight im on a roll with long post.sorry,you all im really feeling like letting it all out.Hope all is well tonight.crystal
I feel the same way its goten alittle better since sub.but,not much ..Before sub.i was locked in my bedroom telling the kids go away and when they ask if they could do something and if it was something they could do by themselfs...I tell them yes to be alone.I had many to call and call i didnt answer and still some times want answer...I would hide in the bedroom and some knew i was in thier.Some of them would come right in.I remember being in bad w/ds and 3 friends came over they had been calling all morning.One is on pills too.She came over to try and get a few.They came right in and knew where to find me....The one on pills she been in rehab about 10 times sometimes would sign in just for a night or two...She knew what it was all about ,they would medicate a few days.Last time she went to one been thier 3 different times they refuse to see her....I dont see how she does it.She has lost her 3 childern all them in different homes infact she cant keep a home for herself.Running from man to man.I dont see how she gets out the house everyday looking for pills.I couldnt do it ..i would pay my dealers gas to bring them to me.I also know other a mom and 3 daughters one daughter is my sister and law.They stay in hospitals,and doctors office in w/ds...I wonder if this is a bad case of depresstion.I keep wondering if i get something for depresstion if it would help.I hate to be w.d from some of these friends and family.I feel i hurt them.My aunt has been calling and calling for 3 weeks. i dont answer last time i did told her i was depressed and i dont realy want to be bothered.Every since i told her this.She just calls and calls now saying she comeing if i dont call.Thank God,she dont live close by...I thought i would go ahead and explain it to her and ever since i told her i was on pills and seen a pys. and on sub. now.I told her i havent dealt with my mothers death haveing a rough time.Also,with money and christmas on top of all this.I know they mean well.But,i wish they would just be understanding and let me be.I dont expect my kids and husband to leave me alone i know they need me.When i do get out the house its like IVE GOT TOO when i do...I do feel better when i do ..Its weird but,i feel better even when i get home.its just getting myself out the door.Ive gained alot of weight lately and its bothering me....I dont eat alot late night mostly.then im not exciseing like i should.I wish i could just snap out of it...If its depresstion do or can i snap out of it?Thanks for posting about this tonight im on a roll with long post.sorry,you all im really feeling like letting it all out.Hope all is well tonight.crystal
Chrystal
honey check with your doctor..if you are medically depressed, you SHOULD go on an anti-deppressant...theres no shame in that...it means your brain isnt making enough serotonin...and you are simply raising the levels so you will feel better.....you have to take them regularly and may take 8 weeks to work for most but you should know by then and feel SO much better if in fact your depressed.....PLEASE go see your Dr sweetheart.. PLEASE. no one should suffer in silence...not fair to YOU, your KIDS or your wonderful HUBBY...
i would reccomend you ask about mannerix, as it one of the few anti deppresants that wont affect your sex life....
PLEASE GO SEE YOUR DR> CHRYSTAL..im worried about you.
hugs,
Ali
honey check with your doctor..if you are medically depressed, you SHOULD go on an anti-deppressant...theres no shame in that...it means your brain isnt making enough serotonin...and you are simply raising the levels so you will feel better.....you have to take them regularly and may take 8 weeks to work for most but you should know by then and feel SO much better if in fact your depressed.....PLEASE go see your Dr sweetheart.. PLEASE. no one should suffer in silence...not fair to YOU, your KIDS or your wonderful HUBBY...
i would reccomend you ask about mannerix, as it one of the few anti deppresants that wont affect your sex life....
PLEASE GO SEE YOUR DR> CHRYSTAL..im worried about you.
hugs,
Ali
Ali,
I have done just reading your post and wanted to say...I have done just to you explained.Just makeing a simple phone call to make appt. and others things is like a huge job.I mean now i feel like if i get the bed made up ive done something big.Im a neat freak with cleaning my house and its feels as though its a big job now takes two to three days.I have just got custody,of my husbands first cousins ex wifes child.Thank God,she 12 ..I wouldnt of tooken on this child if she had other family member that cared about her.I have really raised her since 3 years old.She been in and out forster homes.Its so sad.I had alot to do this week one last thing before its complete...We have to drug test friday and its temp.custody.Until it goes to court whenever that is.then if all is good i will have the chance to adopt her....Her mom just got her back the end of aug.She has been here about the whole time since...A few days with mom when i send her home for a day then she back the next.Her mom is a addict i think to anything...She wont ever get her back and will probley do some prison time.Its bad this child has been throwen from home to home all her life.I had a chance to get her two of the other times but,i was really sick and mother dieing.I told them i had too much on my plate both times.I just hope she dont start showing her butt.I see it comeing soon.What would i do.I dont whip others kids and i seen how she treated her mother.I couldnt send her away to foster care....She is a really good child but.ive seen something lately....I tell all three to clean,pick up rooms and other chorses she dont move.I tell them to quit hitting and she keeps on and on.....I tell them to shut up after being nice she has the last word.Im in for a ride.I have done it all wrong when she was here.i didnt direct tell her to do things and let her sit back.Now,she lives with us and needs to do her part...i see trouble comeing soon.Hope i can handle it.Crystal
I have done just reading your post and wanted to say...I have done just to you explained.Just makeing a simple phone call to make appt. and others things is like a huge job.I mean now i feel like if i get the bed made up ive done something big.Im a neat freak with cleaning my house and its feels as though its a big job now takes two to three days.I have just got custody,of my husbands first cousins ex wifes child.Thank God,she 12 ..I wouldnt of tooken on this child if she had other family member that cared about her.I have really raised her since 3 years old.She been in and out forster homes.Its so sad.I had alot to do this week one last thing before its complete...We have to drug test friday and its temp.custody.Until it goes to court whenever that is.then if all is good i will have the chance to adopt her....Her mom just got her back the end of aug.She has been here about the whole time since...A few days with mom when i send her home for a day then she back the next.Her mom is a addict i think to anything...She wont ever get her back and will probley do some prison time.Its bad this child has been throwen from home to home all her life.I had a chance to get her two of the other times but,i was really sick and mother dieing.I told them i had too much on my plate both times.I just hope she dont start showing her butt.I see it comeing soon.What would i do.I dont whip others kids and i seen how she treated her mother.I couldnt send her away to foster care....She is a really good child but.ive seen something lately....I tell all three to clean,pick up rooms and other chorses she dont move.I tell them to quit hitting and she keeps on and on.....I tell them to shut up after being nice she has the last word.Im in for a ride.I have done it all wrong when she was here.i didnt direct tell her to do things and let her sit back.Now,she lives with us and needs to do her part...i see trouble comeing soon.Hope i can handle it.Crystal
Chrystal,
There Drs that still make house calls..especially for agorophobic ( people who cant leave the house cus of panic attacks)
Find one of them, call your local Dr, explain you can get out, and ask if he or someone else can come to you,
Sounds like that poor sweet girl you have taken on is wanting negative attention...any attention is good for her in her mind, positive OR negative. maybe she needs some councelling? She must feel terribly abandoned by her MOM..
Chrystal...how can you help others, take on another child if in fact your depressed????
PLEASE FIND A DR to come and see you soon. it can be done.
It could change your life for the better for your whole family.
Keep me posted,
Hugs,
Ali
There Drs that still make house calls..especially for agorophobic ( people who cant leave the house cus of panic attacks)
Find one of them, call your local Dr, explain you can get out, and ask if he or someone else can come to you,
Sounds like that poor sweet girl you have taken on is wanting negative attention...any attention is good for her in her mind, positive OR negative. maybe she needs some councelling? She must feel terribly abandoned by her MOM..
Chrystal...how can you help others, take on another child if in fact your depressed????
PLEASE FIND A DR to come and see you soon. it can be done.
It could change your life for the better for your whole family.
Keep me posted,
Hugs,
Ali
