Hello everyone, had my 20 week scan this morning, although the ultrasound woman seemed to think I'm a bit further on than that, coz she's a bit big for 20 weeks. And she reckons that the baby is probably a girl, but it wasn't easy to tell coz she decided to have a bit of a wriggle during the scan. She was asleep all morning - didn't feel her move once, but as soon as the scan started she decided to have a bit of a dance. I saw her yawning, and rubbing her head, and opening her mouth as if she was chewing, and she more or less waved at me! She looked just beautiful! Everything seemed healthy which is the main thing, her heart looked fine and all her organs are in place and normal. I could see her hands and feet, and her face. She looks so perfect! I felt such a rush of love for her. I was surprised that they think she's a girl, coz I was convinced that I was going to have a boy. Oddly enough, what turned out to be the week before she was conceived, my boyfriend predicted that we would have a child together and it would be a girl.
And things at home seem to be peaceful, but there is a lot of distance between us. I'm feeling better, coz I decided to be more selfish and go out and blow a load of money just on me. Retail therapy. Good for the soul!
OK, got to email everybody and tell them the news. My dad has already texted me to tell me he's somewhere in the Wild Coast in the Transkie, and that he's chuffed for me, with the scan going well.
love
Diff xxx
Well,well....nice one for you Diff....as the father of a great 7yr.old girl...called Sian..a nice Welsh name..also being a single dad..i can understand partly the pressure youve been under,but i tell ya girl wait till that lil nipper enters our world..the buzz is just well..magical.Take care&hope all goes well...Davey
..Diff..
..Congrates..hope all goes well..Robbie..
..Congrates..hope all goes well..Robbie..
Oh Diff what great news! I am so glad for you! Is'nt it amazing how our lives can change in the blink of an eye. I do hope you and your Guy start getting on a little better and I hope your pooch is okay. Your life seems like it is on the up and up! You are a lucky girl and although we have never seen each other face to face I class you as a very good friend who helped me out when others left me to sort it all out myself. I hope you have a great life and a very happy one. I have nothing but total respect for you. I have started writing a book about all this and I hope you will let me mention your name (Diff I mean not your real name). It will be about Heroin, but also I will be writing it around my life. So if anyone has any idea's of what I should call it post any idea's and I would be greatful, you are a great writer Diff and I would have liked both of us to try and write one, but you will have far too many things to do in the coming months. I am really pleased for you Diff, we have all suffered pain and you deserve a break and a run of great luck and I honestly think that the next five years will be the time that moulds you into an even better person and a great Mother and I should know because my Mother is a White Witch and she has passed down that skill to me.
Good luck Diff all the best and congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Marky Mark from Manchester xxx
Good luck Diff all the best and congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Marky Mark from Manchester xxx
Hi Mark, great to hear from you! Believe it or not, I am also writing a book about my experiences with mental illness and drug addiction. I started off calling it "Bad Intentions" with reference to the road to Hell being paved with good intentions, so maybe the road to Heaven was paved with something different. But I've started calling it "Dragon Chaser" now. I think Dragon Chaser has a catchier ring to it. I've had a bit of a break from writing for the past couple of months. I find it's better that way. If I have a break I come back to it with fresh eyes, and see the bits I don't like. I'm on to part II now. Part one was all about the early part of my life, when I first found myself suffering with mental illness, and how badly it affected me, and how much it gets brushed under the carpet.
People, even those who are supposed to love you the most, have a habit of not taking it seriously, and hoping that if they ignore it, it will go away all on its own. I really want to challenge that notion. In fact, I've had a hard talk with my mum about it, because I am concerned about one of my nieces, who is very similar to me, and I can see the beginnings of mental illness in her. Her family have a habit of punishing her for her outbursts of emotion, and I've warned my mum to watch her very carefully, and make no mistake, if I see her slipping into depression, I'll kidnapp her if I have to, coz there is no way on this earth I'll let her suffer like I did.
As someone who has been on receiving end of a complete lack of understanding about the hell of mental illness, I see ignoring it as a form of abuse. If I'd had anorexia, would they have just let me starve to death? I was made to feel guilty for my illness, as if my suffering was an act. It's not my fault. It's a genetic brain disease - it's not a disease of the mind. I have a circuitry problem in my brain. I don't produce enough dopamine, which means I can't moderate my emotions. When I feel pain, it feels like it's killing me and it will never end. And the periods of psychosis, of being out of touch with reality, they are just my attempt to make sense of feelings that I don't understand. And when you are just a kid, how the hell are you supposed to understand why everybody else seems happy, and every second of your life is a living, burning Hell?
It came as a relief when I got a diagnosis at the grand old age of 30, and for once, people took it seriously. Things have got to be bad when your psychiatrist tells you that you have a life threatening illness (over 1 in 10 people with my condition end their own lives) and it comes as a relief! I guess it was because after years of intermittently being treated for depression, years of self-harm, several suicide attempts, and then drug addiction, I already knew it was life threatening! It was nice to have it recognised, and to be given the proper hard-core anti-psychotic drugs, that actually tackled the dopamine problem, rather than just feeding me seratonin based drugs. And I have to say that it gave me some satisfaction to report back to my family, that I wasn't just "attention seeking", I wasn't being deliberately difficult, I had been desperately ill. That makes me laugh - you know that your daughter is slicing herself up with razor blades, and you give her the cold shoulder for being "unreasonable" and "difficult". I think you can see that I still have a few issues with my family over the whole thing! But I'll do things differently with my own daughter. There will be no taboo subjects in my house, and if I see the slightest hint that my daughter might have inherited a mental illness, I'll make damned sure that she gets the treatment she needs. Enough people in my family have had their lives ruined by mental illness - you would have thought that they would have learned that it's real, it's here, it's in the genes and it has to be dealt with. Ignoring it is like handing out a life sentence, or a death sentence as is so often the case.
The average age of onset of schizophrenia (my actual diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder, but it is very closely related to schizophrenia, and has only relatively recently been considered a separate conditon to schizophrenia) is between 16 and 19. With me, it was a little earlier, but it didn't get really bad until I was 16. I was self harming at the age of 8. How can anyone see an 8 year old child cutting herself with razors and not think something is seriously wrong here? Especially as that was around the time my schizophrenic aunt disappeared from the nursing home she lived in and was never seen again. People need to know about these things, and I've known since I was a teenager, that I had a God-given gift, a talent for expressing myself, a natural aptitude for articulation, and it feels like the right thing for me to do to, to be someone who challenges the stereo-types and the misconceptions surrounding mental illness. I was born intelligent, a natural academic, who excelled at school, and college, and university, I was born beautiful, and warm-hearted. I was never a freak, even though I was made to feel like one. I was born with a brain disease. And lack of understanding made me an outcast, despite all my positive qualities. If one person benefits from my experience, then it gives the whole thing meaning. Which is why I NEED to write this book.
love
Diff xxx
People, even those who are supposed to love you the most, have a habit of not taking it seriously, and hoping that if they ignore it, it will go away all on its own. I really want to challenge that notion. In fact, I've had a hard talk with my mum about it, because I am concerned about one of my nieces, who is very similar to me, and I can see the beginnings of mental illness in her. Her family have a habit of punishing her for her outbursts of emotion, and I've warned my mum to watch her very carefully, and make no mistake, if I see her slipping into depression, I'll kidnapp her if I have to, coz there is no way on this earth I'll let her suffer like I did.
As someone who has been on receiving end of a complete lack of understanding about the hell of mental illness, I see ignoring it as a form of abuse. If I'd had anorexia, would they have just let me starve to death? I was made to feel guilty for my illness, as if my suffering was an act. It's not my fault. It's a genetic brain disease - it's not a disease of the mind. I have a circuitry problem in my brain. I don't produce enough dopamine, which means I can't moderate my emotions. When I feel pain, it feels like it's killing me and it will never end. And the periods of psychosis, of being out of touch with reality, they are just my attempt to make sense of feelings that I don't understand. And when you are just a kid, how the hell are you supposed to understand why everybody else seems happy, and every second of your life is a living, burning Hell?
It came as a relief when I got a diagnosis at the grand old age of 30, and for once, people took it seriously. Things have got to be bad when your psychiatrist tells you that you have a life threatening illness (over 1 in 10 people with my condition end their own lives) and it comes as a relief! I guess it was because after years of intermittently being treated for depression, years of self-harm, several suicide attempts, and then drug addiction, I already knew it was life threatening! It was nice to have it recognised, and to be given the proper hard-core anti-psychotic drugs, that actually tackled the dopamine problem, rather than just feeding me seratonin based drugs. And I have to say that it gave me some satisfaction to report back to my family, that I wasn't just "attention seeking", I wasn't being deliberately difficult, I had been desperately ill. That makes me laugh - you know that your daughter is slicing herself up with razor blades, and you give her the cold shoulder for being "unreasonable" and "difficult". I think you can see that I still have a few issues with my family over the whole thing! But I'll do things differently with my own daughter. There will be no taboo subjects in my house, and if I see the slightest hint that my daughter might have inherited a mental illness, I'll make damned sure that she gets the treatment she needs. Enough people in my family have had their lives ruined by mental illness - you would have thought that they would have learned that it's real, it's here, it's in the genes and it has to be dealt with. Ignoring it is like handing out a life sentence, or a death sentence as is so often the case.
The average age of onset of schizophrenia (my actual diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder, but it is very closely related to schizophrenia, and has only relatively recently been considered a separate conditon to schizophrenia) is between 16 and 19. With me, it was a little earlier, but it didn't get really bad until I was 16. I was self harming at the age of 8. How can anyone see an 8 year old child cutting herself with razors and not think something is seriously wrong here? Especially as that was around the time my schizophrenic aunt disappeared from the nursing home she lived in and was never seen again. People need to know about these things, and I've known since I was a teenager, that I had a God-given gift, a talent for expressing myself, a natural aptitude for articulation, and it feels like the right thing for me to do to, to be someone who challenges the stereo-types and the misconceptions surrounding mental illness. I was born intelligent, a natural academic, who excelled at school, and college, and university, I was born beautiful, and warm-hearted. I was never a freak, even though I was made to feel like one. I was born with a brain disease. And lack of understanding made me an outcast, despite all my positive qualities. If one person benefits from my experience, then it gives the whole thing meaning. Which is why I NEED to write this book.
love
Diff xxx
Congratulations diff..must have been such a lovely feeling!
Have you thought anymore about names now you know it's a girl? I think you asked for ideas on a post didn't you?..I think the welsh name Nia is really pretty.
keep well x
Have you thought anymore about names now you know it's a girl? I think you asked for ideas on a post didn't you?..I think the welsh name Nia is really pretty.
keep well x
CONGRATS DIFF!!!!!!!!! I know you were kind of wanting a GIRL. It is so awsome to see your baby on ultersound. They are so cool to watch. Great post on mental illness. I was 1st in the hospital at 16 for mental issues. I still don't see a doctor or take meds. I know I should I know there is a problem!. Every med i've been on I hated it. Every doc i've seen i hated more. I'm so damn anti social it makes going to a doctor impossible. I won't go to NA meeting because of social phobia. In fact part of staying clean now comes from the FEAR of having to go find a new dope boy lol. I acually don't like to be around people. I detoxed to fast from the methadone clinic because the dosing lines were causing me to freak out. I always hated waiting on my man for dope but, at least i waited ALONE. At the clinic your standing behind 150 other people and waiting a hour. I may have quit H sooner had i had to wait in a long loud line. I think it's a Safe bet to say all heroin addicts have a mental issue or two to get them to the point of using. I never hear i was a tatally normal person from a great family i just decided one day i wanted to shoot up dope. Anyhow I've thought about writing a book too about recovery. I gave that ideal up. I don't want to re- live in my head what got me to this point. It seems to personal i'ld never let anyone read it anyway if i wrote it. I would love to read what lead other people to this point thou.
God Zerogirl, that is the problem ain't it? Letting other people into your head, I mean. It frightens the hell out of me. The only way I can say what I need to say is by being really, really honest. Brutally honest. So honest it makes you wince to read it. I have to keep it real. And to have people I know, people who never knew I had a drug problem or even a mental health problem, people who I have to see, and talk to, knowing such personal things about me, my life, and really what goes on between the ears. It scares the living daylights out of me. I say I'd publish it under a pseudonym, but what the hell happened to keepin' it real. I say I'm not ashamed, so I should act like I'm not ashamed, or it just makes me a fraud. Or a coward. Or maybe just an idealist. A cowardly idealist! LOL!!
I guess I'd better write the friggin' thing before I'll start worrying about who's gonna read it!! I think that's called putting the cart before the horse. And I know this sounds Godawful, but in the highly unlikely scenario that it made me a shed load of cash, I wouldn't give a f*** who thought what about me. I'd be Rich! Rich! Rich! - picture me throwing piles of 50 notes in the air, and manically cackling in a demonic fashion. Yes of course. It's really going to happen. I think I must be a fantasist as well. A cowardly, cackling, fantasy idealist. Who's still very very poor....
Ok I think I'm rambling now.
love
Diff xxx
I guess I'd better write the friggin' thing before I'll start worrying about who's gonna read it!! I think that's called putting the cart before the horse. And I know this sounds Godawful, but in the highly unlikely scenario that it made me a shed load of cash, I wouldn't give a f*** who thought what about me. I'd be Rich! Rich! Rich! - picture me throwing piles of 50 notes in the air, and manically cackling in a demonic fashion. Yes of course. It's really going to happen. I think I must be a fantasist as well. A cowardly, cackling, fantasy idealist. Who's still very very poor....
Ok I think I'm rambling now.
love
Diff xxx
Congratulations Diff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sugar & spice and everything nice
This girl scored with your side of the gene pool!
Wishing you continued health & the best
- Love Jack
Sugar & spice and everything nice
This girl scored with your side of the gene pool!
Wishing you continued health & the best
- Love Jack
Diff,
It's a girl fantastic give her aname the sooner you do it the closer you'll feel.
The book keep on with it and when you've finished e-mail me cuz I can help.
k
It's a girl fantastic give her aname the sooner you do it the closer you'll feel.
The book keep on with it and when you've finished e-mail me cuz I can help.
k
Dear Diff,
From your post..."I felt such a rush of love for her." It's AMAZING how much you can love your child, isn't it? Even before she/he is born! They are such a miracle!
I am so happy that she's (he's in case they're wrong lol) doing well. It's such a relief to see that all the organs are where they should be and working well. God has given you a very special gift. :)
I'm so sorry your family didn't get you the help you needed. I think sometimes parents are so close they are blind to things or in denial if they do. Many in my family suffer with depression. My one aunt who was always so helpful and caring now almost never leaves her apartment. She thinks she is so ugly. It is so sad to see her living like this.
Please keep us posted. I'm so anxious! Have you given any more thought to her name?
Love,
Susan
From your post..."I felt such a rush of love for her." It's AMAZING how much you can love your child, isn't it? Even before she/he is born! They are such a miracle!
I am so happy that she's (he's in case they're wrong lol) doing well. It's such a relief to see that all the organs are where they should be and working well. God has given you a very special gift. :)
I'm so sorry your family didn't get you the help you needed. I think sometimes parents are so close they are blind to things or in denial if they do. Many in my family suffer with depression. My one aunt who was always so helpful and caring now almost never leaves her apartment. She thinks she is so ugly. It is so sad to see her living like this.
Please keep us posted. I'm so anxious! Have you given any more thought to her name?
Love,
Susan
I think as far as names go, I'm gonna stick with my first instinct. Before I even knew I was pregnant, my boyfriend asked me what I would call a daughter, if we had one. I thought about it for a couple of days, then when we were watching the road racing at the bottom of Bray Hill (we were at the TT at the time) it came to me. Pagan Rose. So I think that's what she'll be. It all has a feeling of predestiny to me. I told a friend of my parents that I was thinking of Pagan Rose, and he said it reminded him of Hagar The Horrible, and that left me mortified. But on deeper consideration, I still think it's a great name.
This guy had sons called Piers and Sebastian, or something like that, so I don't think I need to take his views too seriously, coz I don't like those names either!
love
Diff xxx
This guy had sons called Piers and Sebastian, or something like that, so I don't think I need to take his views too seriously, coz I don't like those names either!
love
Diff xxx
Dear Diff,
The Rose part is beautiful. It means flower, of Mary, or love. The pagan really brings negative images to me. I'm not being smart just wondering why you would want a child named something that means:
pagan (pgn)
n.
1. One who is not a Christian, Muslim, or Jew, especially a worshiper of a polytheistic religion.
2. One who has no religion.
3. A non-Christian.
4. A hedonist.
5. A Neo-Pagan.
adj.
1. Not Christian, Muslim, or Jewish.
2. Professing no religion; heathen.
3. Neo-Pagan.
Just trying to understand. It's certainly your business and your choice.
Love,
Susan
The Rose part is beautiful. It means flower, of Mary, or love. The pagan really brings negative images to me. I'm not being smart just wondering why you would want a child named something that means:
pagan (pgn)
n.
1. One who is not a Christian, Muslim, or Jew, especially a worshiper of a polytheistic religion.
2. One who has no religion.
3. A non-Christian.
4. A hedonist.
5. A Neo-Pagan.
adj.
1. Not Christian, Muslim, or Jewish.
2. Professing no religion; heathen.
3. Neo-Pagan.
Just trying to understand. It's certainly your business and your choice.
Love,
Susan
Hi Susan, I know what you're saying about Pagan, but to me it means something quite different. I am not Christian, and I follow no religion, but I am very spiritual. I consider myself to be quite pagan. To me it means an independence of spirit, one who celebrates things in a more natural and uncomplicated way. To me, pagan is associated with Pre-Christian beliefs, and pre any major religion. To be entirely honest, when I look at the way the world has become so divided over different religions, and we are yet again waging wars over religion, I don't want anything to do with it. I find it abhorrant.
Pagan, to me is to reject religion, and all the division that is tearing our world and our communities apart, and to celebrate the things that unite us. Living in a Celtic country, (and don't forget the Christians regarded the Celts as pagan) I am surrounded by the symbols and art of those Pagans, and feel an instant response to Celtic lore, such as Jack in the Green, or Cernunnos as the celts called him, and see how the Christians merged this horned god with their concept of the devil, and call him a false god. Jack in the Green, who makes me smile every time I take a walk through the woods, or see a weed flowering amongst a sea of concrete. As a pagan, I rejoice in the simple things, the important things, the things that make life worth living. My love for animals, my love for nature, my awe at the changing of the seasons, my gratitude for the sun and the rain. Basics to life, such as honour, and respect for others seem to be concepts that are now vilified by the secular world of religion these days. All I hear on the news is the war on terror, or war against muslims, or the muslims war against the christians, and how George Bush and Tony Blair are supposed to be so devout, yet all we are doing is killing each other. So yes indeed, I am proud to be pagan, and to reject religion as divisive and small minded. I am not calling everybody who practices religion bad because of their religious beliefs, the opposite in fact, coz I am sick to death of all the fighting and think the world would be a far better place if we put aside our differences, abandoned our "religions" and all celebrated the things that pull us together, instead of emphasizing the things that separate us.
That is why I think it is a good thing to be pagan, and see it as a positive thing, with none of the negative connatations that you describe. If to be pagan is to be free of religion then that has to be celebrated, coz I can't think of one good thing about any religion, that cannot be celebrated or enjoyed by a pagan, and a million and one bad things that religion invokes. And if yout think I am forgetting about the love of a god, the spiritual comfort then I am not. I believe in the universe, and balance, and I feel immense comfort from that. I believe in an afterlife, but not heaven or hell. I don't believe in conversion to one way of thinking. I believe in opening our eyes to the miracles all around us every day, that can be marvelled at by all human beings, regardless of where they come from.
Susan my dear, you must know I am not attacking you for your beliefs, but just describing my own world vision, and it ain't a christian world, or a muslim world, or any other world based on divisive belief systems. Just based on appreciation and love for our planet, our universe, and each other.
So I hope that answers your question as to why I would think it an honour to be named Pagan. I would be proud to call my daughter a name that was the antithesis to all the blood spilt in the name of religion since religions began. Looking at the world in the fresh honest eyes of the recovering addict, I can't see what's so good about religion, but I can see what's bad about it. And by defending your particular religion over the many others you only reinforce that view.
love
Diff xxxx
Pagan, to me is to reject religion, and all the division that is tearing our world and our communities apart, and to celebrate the things that unite us. Living in a Celtic country, (and don't forget the Christians regarded the Celts as pagan) I am surrounded by the symbols and art of those Pagans, and feel an instant response to Celtic lore, such as Jack in the Green, or Cernunnos as the celts called him, and see how the Christians merged this horned god with their concept of the devil, and call him a false god. Jack in the Green, who makes me smile every time I take a walk through the woods, or see a weed flowering amongst a sea of concrete. As a pagan, I rejoice in the simple things, the important things, the things that make life worth living. My love for animals, my love for nature, my awe at the changing of the seasons, my gratitude for the sun and the rain. Basics to life, such as honour, and respect for others seem to be concepts that are now vilified by the secular world of religion these days. All I hear on the news is the war on terror, or war against muslims, or the muslims war against the christians, and how George Bush and Tony Blair are supposed to be so devout, yet all we are doing is killing each other. So yes indeed, I am proud to be pagan, and to reject religion as divisive and small minded. I am not calling everybody who practices religion bad because of their religious beliefs, the opposite in fact, coz I am sick to death of all the fighting and think the world would be a far better place if we put aside our differences, abandoned our "religions" and all celebrated the things that pull us together, instead of emphasizing the things that separate us.
That is why I think it is a good thing to be pagan, and see it as a positive thing, with none of the negative connatations that you describe. If to be pagan is to be free of religion then that has to be celebrated, coz I can't think of one good thing about any religion, that cannot be celebrated or enjoyed by a pagan, and a million and one bad things that religion invokes. And if yout think I am forgetting about the love of a god, the spiritual comfort then I am not. I believe in the universe, and balance, and I feel immense comfort from that. I believe in an afterlife, but not heaven or hell. I don't believe in conversion to one way of thinking. I believe in opening our eyes to the miracles all around us every day, that can be marvelled at by all human beings, regardless of where they come from.
Susan my dear, you must know I am not attacking you for your beliefs, but just describing my own world vision, and it ain't a christian world, or a muslim world, or any other world based on divisive belief systems. Just based on appreciation and love for our planet, our universe, and each other.
So I hope that answers your question as to why I would think it an honour to be named Pagan. I would be proud to call my daughter a name that was the antithesis to all the blood spilt in the name of religion since religions began. Looking at the world in the fresh honest eyes of the recovering addict, I can't see what's so good about religion, but I can see what's bad about it. And by defending your particular religion over the many others you only reinforce that view.
love
Diff xxxx
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh lady............congratulations......I heard from around the bend how cool your scan went..........I am so happy for you......your dad is CHUFFED??????????? LOL I hope that means plumb happy....LOL.....nothing like a little girl to bring everyone out, and about.....oh, we'll be giving advice out the wazoo to ya......LOL.....think about this: Everyone on here is a great parent........honestly in my minds eye......of course our loved ones on the Parents/Famil/Loved Ones board......BUT US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of US........we have men on here singlehandedly raising children or extremely present in their children's lives.......here comes you our, Diff, and we all feel that rush, and wave for you along with that baby.......it is wild, ain't it?
Now about religion, and paganism, and earth worship, and all that.......All ya'all a name is important......What's in a name?????????? Who knows.....LOL...nah, considering we all got fake ones on here.....LOL.....we all care for eachother here as human beings, and an odd lot if that.....I am fearing a crack in the road of all that is US, and our beloved friends on here.
O.K. so conk me out everyone....PAGAN ROSE.........that's absolutely beautiful, and forever I will think of you two at the races.....LOL...watch her be a race car driver........we got another girl.........Susan is one of the best people in the world.........EVER.........as is YOU, Diff........so there we will not but embrace our dear baby, and hey, NOW.......what if this girl is a boy?????????
It can happen.........happy, healthy and LOVED.........no matter name, gender, this baby is so LOVED.........for the baby up the road will choose on their own a belief system.........then we will be old....LOL.....O.K. so tell me to shut the heck up.....LOL..........congrat's babes......I think I am right CHUFFED!!!!!!!!!!
All of US........we have men on here singlehandedly raising children or extremely present in their children's lives.......here comes you our, Diff, and we all feel that rush, and wave for you along with that baby.......it is wild, ain't it?
Now about religion, and paganism, and earth worship, and all that.......All ya'all a name is important......What's in a name?????????? Who knows.....LOL...nah, considering we all got fake ones on here.....LOL.....we all care for eachother here as human beings, and an odd lot if that.....I am fearing a crack in the road of all that is US, and our beloved friends on here.
O.K. so conk me out everyone....PAGAN ROSE.........that's absolutely beautiful, and forever I will think of you two at the races.....LOL...watch her be a race car driver........we got another girl.........Susan is one of the best people in the world.........EVER.........as is YOU, Diff........so there we will not but embrace our dear baby, and hey, NOW.......what if this girl is a boy?????????
It can happen.........happy, healthy and LOVED.........no matter name, gender, this baby is so LOVED.........for the baby up the road will choose on their own a belief system.........then we will be old....LOL.....O.K. so tell me to shut the heck up.....LOL..........congrat's babes......I think I am right CHUFFED!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Diff,
I thank you for your explanation and I have never been anyone to think MY religion is better than anyone else's. I have told my own children that they have been raised in my faith but if they ever feel they will be closer to God in a different religion, the choice is theirs. Being close to God is what's important.
Love,
Susan
I thank you for your explanation and I have never been anyone to think MY religion is better than anyone else's. I have told my own children that they have been raised in my faith but if they ever feel they will be closer to God in a different religion, the choice is theirs. Being close to God is what's important.
Love,
Susan
Diff,
I like your name and your reasons but here it would make life difficult for the child so many religious schools either catholic or C of E and lifes hard enough so I'd bottle it and give her Pagan as a middle name to make her life easier.
k
I like your name and your reasons but here it would make life difficult for the child so many religious schools either catholic or C of E and lifes hard enough so I'd bottle it and give her Pagan as a middle name to make her life easier.
k
Hey Karen, I understand where you're coming from, but since when have I believed in making life easy? Of course my dearest wish is for my baby to grow up happy, and she'll have all the love she could ever wish for. I think, based on my own life, that unless we have problems we don't have solutions. I know that sounds arse backwards, but I think it's something that can be looked at from both ways. Take heroin addiction for example. I know plenty of people who have a raging heroin habit, and they just don't care. OK, they may be living on the streets, they may have lost their families, but they LIKE doing heroin, and have no intention of ever giving up, even if it kills them, which it probably will. Me on the other hand, I had a raging heroin habit, and I saw it as a BIG problem. It was the fact that I saw it as problematic that drove me to sort it out. We need problems, we actively seek problems, because we want to understand how to improve things, how to become a better person. I don't see problems as always a bad thing. I know my view on life is unconventional and most people do have a hard time understanding it, but I see my understanding of life as a huge personal progression. I didn't always think like that, and life just trampled me over and over again. I had to find a way of working with life, a method of managing my life, and of dealing with difficulties, or I was going to be forever at the bottom of a big pit looking up having no clue of how to cope. So I learned a philosophy that made it easier for me to deal with life. I don't see problems as wholly negative - a problem is an opportunity to overcome. I don't see pain as negative - pain teaches us the most valuable lessons. It is often through pain that we realise that we have a problem, and then start to seek understanding, to resolve that problem. Life is about challenges. If we never take on a challenge, we never grow, we never develop. If life didn't present problems, then we'd all still be amoeba's! The whole theory of evolution is about overcoming problems. Problems are our friends. Problems = progression. On a spiritual level, problems lead us towards inner peace, as we learn how to tackle them, and out understanding grows and grows.
I'll leave you with the words of Richard Bach, of Jonathan Livingstone Seagull fame (incidently, I was first given a copy of Jonathan when I was 19 and it's taken me the best part of 15 years of reading and re-reading that little book to finally "get" it - it has been very influential to me). "The ideas behind the words are simple ones that work in everyday life: find what we most want to do; do it, no matter what; and in the doing be guaranteed a very difficult and a very happy lifetime." That on it's own can be construed in a very selfish way, but I also have a desire to be the best person that I can be, to do the right thing wherever possible, so I don't think I use those words in a selfish manner. That's another thing that makes life simpler. Just do the right thing, and think hard about what the right thing is, coz it isn't always obvious. Basically, what I mean is, taking the easy option often doesn't lead anywhere good, and the hard road is often the best road. If my daughter grows up and decides that she feels happiest following a religion, then all power to her. At least I know that it will be something she has given thought to, coz I will bring her up without religion, but with an open mind.
When you are a child, it isn't easy when you stand out from the crowd - I know, because that was me. But as an adult, standing out from the crowd is often a strong advantage, and it is something that I am grateful for, to have such a strong sense of my own uniqueness.
I could go on forever. I find writing here about what I find I believe turns wooly concepts into a philosophy. And a philosophy is a strategy to happiness.
love
Diff xxx
And Susan, please don't ever think I am accusing you of anything. I love a debate - I relish it, but please, please don't take it personally. I know you are far too strong to be hurt by my views, and the goodness in your heart is without doubt.
I'll leave you with the words of Richard Bach, of Jonathan Livingstone Seagull fame (incidently, I was first given a copy of Jonathan when I was 19 and it's taken me the best part of 15 years of reading and re-reading that little book to finally "get" it - it has been very influential to me). "The ideas behind the words are simple ones that work in everyday life: find what we most want to do; do it, no matter what; and in the doing be guaranteed a very difficult and a very happy lifetime." That on it's own can be construed in a very selfish way, but I also have a desire to be the best person that I can be, to do the right thing wherever possible, so I don't think I use those words in a selfish manner. That's another thing that makes life simpler. Just do the right thing, and think hard about what the right thing is, coz it isn't always obvious. Basically, what I mean is, taking the easy option often doesn't lead anywhere good, and the hard road is often the best road. If my daughter grows up and decides that she feels happiest following a religion, then all power to her. At least I know that it will be something she has given thought to, coz I will bring her up without religion, but with an open mind.
When you are a child, it isn't easy when you stand out from the crowd - I know, because that was me. But as an adult, standing out from the crowd is often a strong advantage, and it is something that I am grateful for, to have such a strong sense of my own uniqueness.
I could go on forever. I find writing here about what I find I believe turns wooly concepts into a philosophy. And a philosophy is a strategy to happiness.
love
Diff xxx
And Susan, please don't ever think I am accusing you of anything. I love a debate - I relish it, but please, please don't take it personally. I know you are far too strong to be hurt by my views, and the goodness in your heart is without doubt.
Dear sweet Diff,
Ive followed your posts off an on since I joined this board almost 2 years ago. Of late, I havent been on as much as I used to be but when I am on, I search for your posts and I guess Ive had some catching up to do!! CONGRATULATIONS!!
As a Christian, I, too, rejoice in the amazing things that make life more beautiful. The strength and beauty and perfect timing to nature and its seasons causes me to relax in the assuredness of tomorrow. The sweet unconditional love of my dog makes me blush at my own moments of insanity! And, despite the violence in this world that has gone on since the beginning of time, I still believe there is more good than bad. The very rhythm of life stirs me beyond wonderment. And, now, here you are experiencing the miracle of birth. May this experience take you to levels you have never known and may peace and joy abound within you as you now begin to experience something that will really make your life even more beautiful!
God Bless,
Diane
Ive followed your posts off an on since I joined this board almost 2 years ago. Of late, I havent been on as much as I used to be but when I am on, I search for your posts and I guess Ive had some catching up to do!! CONGRATULATIONS!!
As a Christian, I, too, rejoice in the amazing things that make life more beautiful. The strength and beauty and perfect timing to nature and its seasons causes me to relax in the assuredness of tomorrow. The sweet unconditional love of my dog makes me blush at my own moments of insanity! And, despite the violence in this world that has gone on since the beginning of time, I still believe there is more good than bad. The very rhythm of life stirs me beyond wonderment. And, now, here you are experiencing the miracle of birth. May this experience take you to levels you have never known and may peace and joy abound within you as you now begin to experience something that will really make your life even more beautiful!
God Bless,
Diane
Diff,
I so love that book and it took me a while to get it, I think you have to live a bit to get it. Of course from our problems comes our strength and character that's okay when whatever I do effects me I'm a big person.
Butwhen what I do that effects my child that is very different children don't see things the way we do. We know they will be individuals but often we aren't prepared for how unlike ourselves they may grow up to be. I've learnt that I aren't ashamed of who I am or what I believe and that I aren't ashamed of my man's Heroin addiction but I've also learned how terribly wicked and unkind other adults can be and I will lie and play their games to protect my child.
Anyway hun, this is by far too heavy a conversation for so early in the morning, enjoy being pregnant it's great. And as I say let me know about the book it's my line of work.
Off to A&E having a bad time with my bloke right now.
love
k
x
I so love that book and it took me a while to get it, I think you have to live a bit to get it. Of course from our problems comes our strength and character that's okay when whatever I do effects me I'm a big person.
Butwhen what I do that effects my child that is very different children don't see things the way we do. We know they will be individuals but often we aren't prepared for how unlike ourselves they may grow up to be. I've learnt that I aren't ashamed of who I am or what I believe and that I aren't ashamed of my man's Heroin addiction but I've also learned how terribly wicked and unkind other adults can be and I will lie and play their games to protect my child.
Anyway hun, this is by far too heavy a conversation for so early in the morning, enjoy being pregnant it's great. And as I say let me know about the book it's my line of work.
Off to A&E having a bad time with my bloke right now.
love
k
x
