It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I've been clean for 6 months now and feel better than I have in a long time. I never thought i'd be able to get of the pain pills and without the support of people on here especially wolf, I'd never of been able to do it.
My brother has been gone 6 months now, for those of you who don't know, he accidentally overdose on oxycontin, and that was one of my biggest eye openers.
I just want to tell everyone out there who is fighting an addiciton, that you can overcome. I know it seems like the hardest thing in the world, and the first few weeks are the hardest, but with God anything is possible.
God Bles you all!
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It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I've been clean for 6 months now and feel better than I have in a long time. I never thought i'd be able to get of the pain pills and without the support of people on here especially wolf, I'd never of been able to do it. |
Can you share with us how you did it? How did you get off the pills? CT, sub? Other? Whatever it was, congratulations! It would be great to hear more about you now. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. How soon after his death did you decide you had to quit the pp?
Starbright
Susan, Good to see you posting again. Congrats on 6 months. Shantel
I actually started trying to get off the pills before my brothers death. Went to the hospital to try to get check in for some kind of relief from the withdrawals and to make sure I didn't have any kidney or liver damage, which I didn't thank God. The hospital wouldn't admit me, they told me to go home and try to do it on my own, I was p*ssed off, but I did. I thought I was going to die, actually wanted to die, the withdrawals were so bad. Chills, sweats, pain in my back, legs, and arms, nasuea, headaches, you name it I had it. I laid in bed for days, spent alot of time soaking in hot baths.
The bad thing for me was, I was living with my brother who was prescribed percacet, and 2 different dosages of oxycontin. So I knew if i wanted a pill all I had to do was walk in the next room and beg my brother and he'd of given me one, there were actually times that the withdrawals were so bad, and he seen me in so much pain, that he offered me pills, because he hated seeing me suffer, but I refused them, because I knew one pill would be it, and I have to start all over again. He had locked his pills up so I couldn't sneak in his room if he wasn't home and just get to them. Funny thing is now, looking back ( they say hind sight is 20/20) maybe I should of been locking the pills up from him, because now he's dead from the damn things.
Anyway, I was supposed to check myself into treatment, but never did. The night he died I wanted a pill so bad, but I never took one. I Felt like i'd come so far, making it through the withdrawals. i made it through the worst part, and now lost my brother to them. If that didn't wake me up and make me realize they were going to kill me to nothing would.
Five months earlier, My childrens father died from overdosing on oxycontin, he was an IV drug user. Oxycontin has took two very dear people from me and if i hadn't of got my sh*t together when i did, I probably would of been the next.
Basically, I did it cold turkey and yes it sucked. I'd never ever want to have to go through it again. But as I sit here and write this today, today would be my brothers 40th birthday and it's been a rough day, and I have been craving a pill today more than I have in a long time. I just ask God to give me strength and take it one day at a time. God Bless!
The bad thing for me was, I was living with my brother who was prescribed percacet, and 2 different dosages of oxycontin. So I knew if i wanted a pill all I had to do was walk in the next room and beg my brother and he'd of given me one, there were actually times that the withdrawals were so bad, and he seen me in so much pain, that he offered me pills, because he hated seeing me suffer, but I refused them, because I knew one pill would be it, and I have to start all over again. He had locked his pills up so I couldn't sneak in his room if he wasn't home and just get to them. Funny thing is now, looking back ( they say hind sight is 20/20) maybe I should of been locking the pills up from him, because now he's dead from the damn things.
Anyway, I was supposed to check myself into treatment, but never did. The night he died I wanted a pill so bad, but I never took one. I Felt like i'd come so far, making it through the withdrawals. i made it through the worst part, and now lost my brother to them. If that didn't wake me up and make me realize they were going to kill me to nothing would.
Five months earlier, My childrens father died from overdosing on oxycontin, he was an IV drug user. Oxycontin has took two very dear people from me and if i hadn't of got my sh*t together when i did, I probably would of been the next.
Basically, I did it cold turkey and yes it sucked. I'd never ever want to have to go through it again. But as I sit here and write this today, today would be my brothers 40th birthday and it's been a rough day, and I have been craving a pill today more than I have in a long time. I just ask God to give me strength and take it one day at a time. God Bless!
QUOTE |
Basically, I did it cold turkey and yes it sucked. I'd never ever want to have to go through it again. But as I sit here and write this today, today would be my brothers 40th birthday and it's been a rough day, and I have been craving a pill today more than I have in a long time. I just ask God to give me strength and take it one day at a time. |
You have a very compelling story Susan (is it?). I can't express to you how vivid and timely your words are to me. I'm sure they are to others who read them too. I've seldom thought of the immediate dangers of taking pp's. How that how my somewhat controlled behavior now could perhaps get out of hand one day and I could end up like your brother. I took them for years and never got much over 45 mg. a day. But, my body was craving more and more.
God Bless you in your continued recovery. I pray too that God will give you the strength to get through this day too. (and the days that follow)
Starbright
Susan.........I lost my sister a little over a year ago. While she actually died from pnuemonia, her past alcohol and drug use had already done it's toll on her body. She couldn't fight off the pnuemonia. At the time of her death she had quit everything, but it was too late. I had a very tough time with her death (still am). I had stopped taking pp's before this, but it just sent me into a tailspin. You would think seeing what happened to her would have opened my eyes. But it didn't. I did finally see that I had to do something about my addiction. I started sub a month ago and it has really turned my life around. I am only using it as a tool along with therapy and group meetings to recover from opiate addiction. I am so sorry about your brother. It's hard to lose a sibling and especially if you are close. It sounds like you were close to your brother as i was extremly close to my sister! Congrats on getting clean and it is nice to meet you.
When your on drugs, any kind of drugs. All you think about is yourself and where and how your gonna get your next fix. I know this because i've been there.
But when you lose someone to drugs, you begin to hate the drugs. I hate to even hear the word oxycontin anymore. When I hear someone say they're taking them, it breaks my heart. Because whether they're prescribed them or not, they're headed for a road of nothing but hearache.
It destroyed my ex-husbands life, my brothers life. (They are both dead because of oxycontin) and now I think of all the other lives it's destroyed. My children won't have they're daddy at their weddings, to see their children and so many other things in their lives.
All the doctors out there who freely prescribe oxycontin and destroy lives and just don't give a sh*t about how many lives they're destroying.
But when you lose someone to drugs, you begin to hate the drugs. I hate to even hear the word oxycontin anymore. When I hear someone say they're taking them, it breaks my heart. Because whether they're prescribed them or not, they're headed for a road of nothing but hearache.
It destroyed my ex-husbands life, my brothers life. (They are both dead because of oxycontin) and now I think of all the other lives it's destroyed. My children won't have they're daddy at their weddings, to see their children and so many other things in their lives.
All the doctors out there who freely prescribe oxycontin and destroy lives and just don't give a sh*t about how many lives they're destroying.
Absolutely!!! Everything you Said!!! Dead on accurate!
It's so true - I hated - still hate those Lortabs with a passion but I took them for a long time.
I am really worried about my brother - he is getting ready for his 3rd back surgery - he's 10 yrs older than I am but we have always been buddies - I think I've acted older and he's acted younger.
He talks of Lortabs often - I remind him what they did to me - how they changed my life. I've caught him lying which I did plenty of about how many he takes. Sometimes he says he never takes more tan 2 a day and then s'times he says he never takes more than 3 a day - We (the 5 of us) have always been close but have never gotten into each other's business - His back has to hurt for him to be getting ready for the 3rd surgery - I don't know what I can do - I can so tell when I'm over there and he's high - I rememeber that feeling - when e'thing is wonderful with the world. He's 60 yrs old, but is so youthful, has a wife but since I am the one in the family who became an addict - took the first Lortab at 38 and 7 months later I was crying b/c I was in more pain than when I woke up and I had taken 7 by 2 in the afternoon. Thought I was going crazy. I feel like I should do s'thing.
I want to save him from all of that. I don't know what to do.
When my b-in-law had kidney cancer and DR's started giving him OXY's, my sister asked what if he became addicted - she knew all about me, I was taking lots of Lortabs at the time - The DR told her to hope they got to the point of that (addiction) being the concern. He lived about 2 years - afterwards - the DR told my sister that he knew my b-in-law wouldn't make it but didn't think they needed to hear it all at one time.
But my brother has healed from these other 2 surgeries so the pills may become a problem.
Gosh, I'm just rambling - I know how I was - I didn't want anyone saying anything to me - is there anything that can be said to stop it before it gets too bad???
Thanks, Becky
I am really worried about my brother - he is getting ready for his 3rd back surgery - he's 10 yrs older than I am but we have always been buddies - I think I've acted older and he's acted younger.
He talks of Lortabs often - I remind him what they did to me - how they changed my life. I've caught him lying which I did plenty of about how many he takes. Sometimes he says he never takes more tan 2 a day and then s'times he says he never takes more than 3 a day - We (the 5 of us) have always been close but have never gotten into each other's business - His back has to hurt for him to be getting ready for the 3rd surgery - I don't know what I can do - I can so tell when I'm over there and he's high - I rememeber that feeling - when e'thing is wonderful with the world. He's 60 yrs old, but is so youthful, has a wife but since I am the one in the family who became an addict - took the first Lortab at 38 and 7 months later I was crying b/c I was in more pain than when I woke up and I had taken 7 by 2 in the afternoon. Thought I was going crazy. I feel like I should do s'thing.
I want to save him from all of that. I don't know what to do.
When my b-in-law had kidney cancer and DR's started giving him OXY's, my sister asked what if he became addicted - she knew all about me, I was taking lots of Lortabs at the time - The DR told her to hope they got to the point of that (addiction) being the concern. He lived about 2 years - afterwards - the DR told my sister that he knew my b-in-law wouldn't make it but didn't think they needed to hear it all at one time.
But my brother has healed from these other 2 surgeries so the pills may become a problem.
Gosh, I'm just rambling - I know how I was - I didn't want anyone saying anything to me - is there anything that can be said to stop it before it gets too bad???
Thanks, Becky
For a while when my brother realized he was getting out of control on his pills, he let me keep them locked up for him and give them to him as needed, (when he was supposed to have them), but that didn't work for long because he was already addicted and recommended dosage wasn't enough for him, but maybe you could discuss your fears with your brother and work something out with him.
I know alot of people think you can't get addicted to something a doctor prescribes, but of course we all know you can. The more pain your in, the more pills you take and or course that's where the addiction starts.
If there's anything I can do to help or if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Good luck and God Bless!
I know alot of people think you can't get addicted to something a doctor prescribes, but of course we all know you can. The more pain your in, the more pills you take and or course that's where the addiction starts.
If there's anything I can do to help or if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Good luck and God Bless!