Since my last post I took time for myself to regain my own life and happiness. After some time I met a new guy. We hit it off immediately. We connect on so many levels and he is so loving. After a little while of hanging out, he told me about his past. Broken homes, addiction, near death and recovery.
I was so cautious after that. I told him of my past relationship and how I refuse to go down that road. He understood. He knew I would keep my guard up. Not for him possibly relapsing but for my own self.
Fast forward a year. His life remained on the straight and right path. He has a good job, a great relationship with me and he is rebuilt the one with his family. We even talked about getting a place together.
Only now I started to notice things. In the last couple of months. I knew he was lying. He thought he could keep it covered up. He finally admitted to being stressed and turning to some pills and just blowing money. I already had that feeling. He broke down crying telling me he knew it was wrong, sorry he let me down, etc etc. I sat and just listened as he asked for help.
I love this guy. I want him to succeed in life. To over come this. Just like we all want our loved ones to do. But I told him I can't do this for him. He has to want it more than anything. And that he made the conscious decision to go to a pill instead of reaching out to his mom or me. That he needs to take accountability for his actions, seek the help he needs and fight hard.
It just sucks. A great guy, great family and he's stuck with this bs. I don't know how I always end up in this crap. I've never had a drug or alcohol problem. Probably because I watched to many people deteriorate from it. I just hope he gets the help he needs.
I don't think I can be the supportive girlfriend he needs. I don't even think he needs a girlfriend. I won't and can't force him or hold his hand. It's up to him now. Now I just need to figure out how to let him go. Or be a friend. If that's possible.
Disappointed but hey, what's done in the dark will always come to the light.
You may want to look into finding a good counselor to work on yourself and why you fall for the men you do.
I found out through counseling and working a 12 step program that my past relationships, including the ones with family, had a major impact on the decision I made.
I found out through counseling and working a 12 step program that my past relationships, including the ones with family, had a major impact on the decision I made.
