Hey Izzy!!
How are you going girl?
I have emailed you but no replys?
Are you okay? I have a lot more free time now I am not driving the Highways
for a while, so home everynite,
Let me know your okay, email or here,
Thinking you
Ginge
Hello ginge, nice to meet you.
Izzy checked in a while back and said she wouldn't be around so much but it would be lovely to hear from her.
Hope you're well and happy, Izzy!
Martin
Izzy checked in a while back and said she wouldn't be around so much but it would be lovely to hear from her.
Hope you're well and happy, Izzy!
Martin
Hey Martin,
Thanks for that mate,
I have emailed her but no reply, just checking see how she is,
Nice meetin you to,
Have a good day,
Ginge
Thanks for that mate,
I have emailed her but no reply, just checking see how she is,
Nice meetin you to,
Have a good day,
Ginge
Hi Ginge, I didn't get any of your emails.
I haven't been coming here much as I'm kind of coping now with the drinking. Saying that though, I did drink a whole bottle of wine Sunday night... I guess I'm not coping very well right now.
I just feel depressed.
Izzy
I haven't been coming here much as I'm kind of coping now with the drinking. Saying that though, I did drink a whole bottle of wine Sunday night... I guess I'm not coping very well right now.
I just feel depressed.
Izzy
Izzy,
Nothing changes if nothing changes. You already know that.
Take care,
Valarie
Nothing changes if nothing changes. You already know that.
Take care,
Valarie
Hi Izzy...
I'm glad to see you pop in...I've missed you around here....
Take care,
Stacey
I'm glad to see you pop in...I've missed you around here....
Take care,
Stacey
hi Izzy so glad to see you post again. Keep coming back will ya? It really is good to see you again. I thought of you often and wondered where you were or what happened to you. Stay around this time.YOU have friends here who care...xxxxooo
Great to see you Izzy! I really missed you.
Martin x
Martin x
Hi all, thanks for the support.
Well a little update is in order I think.
My friend who bred my dog died on the 21st September. That hit me hard, nobody gave a s***, I didn't even get a card or anything.
Now my dad has just gone into hospital today to have his kidney removed and everyone's all over him, asking how he is sending f***ing postcards saying they're thinking about him, sending flowers. It just makes me feel so angry with everyone who says they care about me when in actual fact its just fake, it's all fakeness. I've been really depressed, I drank a bottle of wine and scared myself s***less, it took me a whole week to get over it.
Now I'm home alone because someone has to be here to feed the dog and walk him, I just feel so alone...
Izzy
Well a little update is in order I think.
My friend who bred my dog died on the 21st September. That hit me hard, nobody gave a s***, I didn't even get a card or anything.
Now my dad has just gone into hospital today to have his kidney removed and everyone's all over him, asking how he is sending f***ing postcards saying they're thinking about him, sending flowers. It just makes me feel so angry with everyone who says they care about me when in actual fact its just fake, it's all fakeness. I've been really depressed, I drank a bottle of wine and scared myself s***less, it took me a whole week to get over it.
Now I'm home alone because someone has to be here to feed the dog and walk him, I just feel so alone...
Izzy
Izzy my condolences on the passing of your friend. I am sorry for your lost. I am sorry you feel so distraught. You are never alone, always know that you have your friends here who care about you. Anger is part of the grieving process. It is natural that you would feel this way.I can understand your resentment and I sympathize with you. But we being alcoholics cannot afford the luxury to be resentful. As it says in the BB it is poison to us. In the meantime try and list down all the things you have to be grateful for and concentrate on that. I know right now you probably think that is a load of bull but just try it anyway you have nothing to lose by doing it. We all have something that is worth being grateful for if we just take the time to acknowledge it. I will be thinking of you. Take care and always know that you are never alone. (((( ))))
Izzy,
There will always be things or people that get us upset. When looking for a helping hand the best place to look is at the end of our own arm my friend. Time to start taking care of yourself. Expectations always create resentments.
Take care okay?
xx Valarie
There will always be things or people that get us upset. When looking for a helping hand the best place to look is at the end of our own arm my friend. Time to start taking care of yourself. Expectations always create resentments.
Take care okay?
xx Valarie
Hi Izzy,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and that you felt so alone. I think that one of the things my childhood left me with was an endless, deep yearning that someone would love me, would care enough about me to stop the hurt, to hold me, care about me, see my pain and hug me while I hurt.....I'm 51 years old now and that unanswered cry for help still echoes deep inside....it makes me feel so sad and helpless sometimes.
But I'm very lucky. In the past few months I've been shown that I'm not alone. Yes, there's a wounded child inside me, but I've discovered there is also an incredible sources of love and strength and power.....I never looked for it inside me before because every time I did all I could see and hear and feel was a child so battered and despairing I thought he was dead. I couldn't look there.
But he wasn't dead. While there is life there is hope for each and every one of us. The crisis in my life forced me to give up, to surrender my Will....my conscious mind had to let go of the struggle because my old defence of looking away wasn't working. It was taking more and more effort and I'd turned to alcohol and other addictions to keep my attention from where it was needed....inside...and when I gave up and had to feel what was inside I found that the pain stormed and raged and gradually - greadually - eased.....now I know that at my heart is a source of sunshine and love and strength....
This is not something I could have found with my mind Izzy, it came through being willing to listen to my heart....to follow my instincts instead of my determination, letting myself be the animal I am instead of the machine I was trying to be...you love animals Izzy, they are so natural and alive and free....I had to hear my heart's truth....because our hearts are full of love for us and for all life....
You told us before that you were getting counselling Izzy. Is that working for you? I think you'd avoided AA because you live in a small town and didn't want to go...is that right?
All I know is that you have a kind and generous heart. Your eached out to me when I first came here. Thanks to you I am feeling so much better. Let me know if I can help. You know everyone here is on your side Izzy. You're not alone.
Much love,
Martin
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and that you felt so alone. I think that one of the things my childhood left me with was an endless, deep yearning that someone would love me, would care enough about me to stop the hurt, to hold me, care about me, see my pain and hug me while I hurt.....I'm 51 years old now and that unanswered cry for help still echoes deep inside....it makes me feel so sad and helpless sometimes.
But I'm very lucky. In the past few months I've been shown that I'm not alone. Yes, there's a wounded child inside me, but I've discovered there is also an incredible sources of love and strength and power.....I never looked for it inside me before because every time I did all I could see and hear and feel was a child so battered and despairing I thought he was dead. I couldn't look there.
But he wasn't dead. While there is life there is hope for each and every one of us. The crisis in my life forced me to give up, to surrender my Will....my conscious mind had to let go of the struggle because my old defence of looking away wasn't working. It was taking more and more effort and I'd turned to alcohol and other addictions to keep my attention from where it was needed....inside...and when I gave up and had to feel what was inside I found that the pain stormed and raged and gradually - greadually - eased.....now I know that at my heart is a source of sunshine and love and strength....
This is not something I could have found with my mind Izzy, it came through being willing to listen to my heart....to follow my instincts instead of my determination, letting myself be the animal I am instead of the machine I was trying to be...you love animals Izzy, they are so natural and alive and free....I had to hear my heart's truth....because our hearts are full of love for us and for all life....
You told us before that you were getting counselling Izzy. Is that working for you? I think you'd avoided AA because you live in a small town and didn't want to go...is that right?
All I know is that you have a kind and generous heart. Your eached out to me when I first came here. Thanks to you I am feeling so much better. Let me know if I can help. You know everyone here is on your side Izzy. You're not alone.
Much love,
Martin
Gidday Izzy
You need to take the thoughts out of your head and share them with God, counsellor, people at meetings, posting on boards etc because at the moment these thoughts are just bouncin around in your head causing grief as they scenario and grow
Find that middle ground you have in the love hate relationship with your family and work from there
You will be alone if you stay in you head and as has been said you are never alone if you make conscious contact with someone
light and love Zac
You need to take the thoughts out of your head and share them with God, counsellor, people at meetings, posting on boards etc because at the moment these thoughts are just bouncin around in your head causing grief as they scenario and grow
Find that middle ground you have in the love hate relationship with your family and work from there
You will be alone if you stay in you head and as has been said you are never alone if you make conscious contact with someone
light and love Zac
Hi all, thanks for the posts, I read each one again and again and know you're all right.
I had the most horrendous couple of days, the bare facts are that I was crying all day Monday, my sis started laughing in my face because I was upset, telling me that I need t take a walk coz it'd be good for me, coming out with all this crap, I attacked her like physically went for her throat. I chucked her out of my house and I haven't seen her since. I'm done with her... she's an idiot, lecturing me when she can't even look after herself... so much more to the story but I thought I'd just let you all know what happened... I'm ok...
Thanks again to you all.
Love Izzy X
I had the most horrendous couple of days, the bare facts are that I was crying all day Monday, my sis started laughing in my face because I was upset, telling me that I need t take a walk coz it'd be good for me, coming out with all this crap, I attacked her like physically went for her throat. I chucked her out of my house and I haven't seen her since. I'm done with her... she's an idiot, lecturing me when she can't even look after herself... so much more to the story but I thought I'd just let you all know what happened... I'm ok...
Thanks again to you all.
Love Izzy X
I'm glad you're ok Izzy. You know you have lots of friends here wishing you well. Life really can be tough sometimes. I don't know if you have many friends nearby to turn to for support but you have friends here.
Take good care of yourself,
Love,
Martin x
Take good care of yourself,
Love,
Martin x
Gidday Izzy
When i was actively drinking any drama was good for me as long as i was caught up in it either physically or mentally and it helped me keep my mind focussed on the next binge or bust out
When i stopped drinking a part of me still needed the adrenalin of drama and the rush so i have had to step back and pause when i feel the need to be a part of everyone elses lives in a way that either has me as the centre piece or trying to be the centre piece with what i think etc, so i have to pause and rethink my motives and see if i am seeking that drama rush
Also it used to be the more i am in my head about others the less i have to look at Me but now i have to look at what it is that has me concentrating on others that i dont like about myself etc, Skg done a good post on another thread on that
Are you keen to go to any meetings of AA and keep posting and looking at other threads again and posting your E.S.H
light and love Zac
When i was actively drinking any drama was good for me as long as i was caught up in it either physically or mentally and it helped me keep my mind focussed on the next binge or bust out
When i stopped drinking a part of me still needed the adrenalin of drama and the rush so i have had to step back and pause when i feel the need to be a part of everyone elses lives in a way that either has me as the centre piece or trying to be the centre piece with what i think etc, so i have to pause and rethink my motives and see if i am seeking that drama rush
Also it used to be the more i am in my head about others the less i have to look at Me but now i have to look at what it is that has me concentrating on others that i dont like about myself etc, Skg done a good post on another thread on that
Are you keen to go to any meetings of AA and keep posting and looking at other threads again and posting your E.S.H
light and love Zac
