Hiya Izzy,
Thanks for the suggestions on the book. I can't wait to read it. I decided to post to you over here.
How have you been doin' girlfriend? Any better?
Thanks again for the reading suggestion. I read lots and lots of books.
Hi Iz,
How are you? Haven't heard from ya in a bit. Just wondering how things are going for ya. I hope better. Take care and check in when you get a chance. {{{{{{{ Sending postive energy Izzy's way }}}}}}}}.
How are you? Haven't heard from ya in a bit. Just wondering how things are going for ya. I hope better. Take care and check in when you get a chance. {{{{{{{ Sending postive energy Izzy's way }}}}}}}}.
Hi Valarie, I'm not too bad although I've been using the drink as a coping mechanism again.
Just got in touch with an old mate again after years so that was nice.
My old best friend is getting married, she's only 21, it just seems so young to me. I don't want to go to her celebrations as there is gonna be all that drink there, Champagne, don't even get me started on that one...
I'll finish this off later...
Take care guys
Izzy X
Just got in touch with an old mate again after years so that was nice.
My old best friend is getting married, she's only 21, it just seems so young to me. I don't want to go to her celebrations as there is gonna be all that drink there, Champagne, don't even get me started on that one...
I'll finish this off later...
Take care guys
Izzy X
Does anyone find, however much you absolutely loath alcohol after you've drunk it and gone through the hate cycle, that you just can't bear to pour the damn stuff down the sink? I can't bear it, it's like binning your best friend.
I need to get myself sorted out again, I can't be this useless for my mum when my dad goes into hospital, deffo 11th March.
Valarie, have you read any of the book yet? What do you think? Also if you like books I can recommend another that I know you'll find interesting. Have you read Deborah Spungens book about her daughter Nancy? (Sid Vicious's girlfriend although I find that quite insignificant when you read all about Nancy) It's called And I Don't Want to Live This Life: A mothers story of her daughters murder. Nancy was also on heroin. You can sometimes get it off Amazon too.
Hope all of you guys are doing ok.
Izzy X
I need to get myself sorted out again, I can't be this useless for my mum when my dad goes into hospital, deffo 11th March.
Valarie, have you read any of the book yet? What do you think? Also if you like books I can recommend another that I know you'll find interesting. Have you read Deborah Spungens book about her daughter Nancy? (Sid Vicious's girlfriend although I find that quite insignificant when you read all about Nancy) It's called And I Don't Want to Live This Life: A mothers story of her daughters murder. Nancy was also on heroin. You can sometimes get it off Amazon too.
Hope all of you guys are doing ok.
Izzy X
Hi Iz,
I haven't received my copy of Christiane F yet but I am patiently waiting. I ordered it from Amazon so I should be getting it any day now. I am really looking forward to it though. I am always up for a good book so thanks for the heads up on it.
As for the dumping the booze....hell yeah I understand that my friend. I used to dump it out only to drive drunk down the street to the store to get more. Completely insane. I think I did it once one night 3 times. Completely insane but it's part of the disease my friend.
Sorry you are struggling Izzy. You can get through this but you have to put it down. It's harder once you start at it to put it down but I know you can do it. Pour it down the drain sister friend.
Take care Izzy! :-)
I haven't received my copy of Christiane F yet but I am patiently waiting. I ordered it from Amazon so I should be getting it any day now. I am really looking forward to it though. I am always up for a good book so thanks for the heads up on it.
As for the dumping the booze....hell yeah I understand that my friend. I used to dump it out only to drive drunk down the street to the store to get more. Completely insane. I think I did it once one night 3 times. Completely insane but it's part of the disease my friend.
Sorry you are struggling Izzy. You can get through this but you have to put it down. It's harder once you start at it to put it down but I know you can do it. Pour it down the drain sister friend.
Take care Izzy! :-)
HI Izzy,
I guess if we've learned to use drink as a way of coping then it's pretty difficult to throw our way of coping away, expecially when we know some really difficult stuff is coming up.....have you developed any tools to help you cope with stress and upset? Can you remind yourself of them? IS there anything you practise?
My guess is that as your confidence and faith in healthier ways of coping grows, your fear of having no booze around will fall away......
It takes time to build confidence in ourselves and/or a higher power, Izzy, so don't be hard on yourself.....maybe some part of you - maybe even a helpful part doing it's best for you and not understanding how dangerous it is for you because it doesn't think long-term - just doesn't want you exposed to bad feelings and is clinging to the drink "just in case" you "need" it.....maybe if you think about other, healthier ways you will cope if things get tough...maybe if you make some plans, arrange support from friends.....then maybe a conversation with this part to reassure it that YOU will keep you safe...will help.....
We all have reasons for drinking and we probably only really stop killing ourselves with the stuff when we deal with the reasons....
Take care of yourself Izzy.
I guess if we've learned to use drink as a way of coping then it's pretty difficult to throw our way of coping away, expecially when we know some really difficult stuff is coming up.....have you developed any tools to help you cope with stress and upset? Can you remind yourself of them? IS there anything you practise?
My guess is that as your confidence and faith in healthier ways of coping grows, your fear of having no booze around will fall away......
It takes time to build confidence in ourselves and/or a higher power, Izzy, so don't be hard on yourself.....maybe some part of you - maybe even a helpful part doing it's best for you and not understanding how dangerous it is for you because it doesn't think long-term - just doesn't want you exposed to bad feelings and is clinging to the drink "just in case" you "need" it.....maybe if you think about other, healthier ways you will cope if things get tough...maybe if you make some plans, arrange support from friends.....then maybe a conversation with this part to reassure it that YOU will keep you safe...will help.....
We all have reasons for drinking and we probably only really stop killing ourselves with the stuff when we deal with the reasons....
Take care of yourself Izzy.
It's easy to say deal with the reasons, which I am doing. They are so deep rooted from childhood that it is so very very hard for me to remember the good feelings I get when I don't use alcohol to numb my feelings. I'm working through my problems with a therapist but it's no plain sailing and it's not gonna be a quick fix. This is in no way a cop out or excuse to NOT stop drinking but an even BIGGER reason TO stop drinking so I can get more out of the sessions. And out of myself.
You're very good at advice Martin, but sometimes life aint plain sailing, but you know that already.
Valarie, I too have poured stuff out and then went to get more. Thankfully I can't drive because I KNOW that if I was able to drive when I was at my very lowest I would have deliberately driven 100 mph into a tree to try to kill myself. It's funny how alcohol can be so loathsome yet so friendly at the same time. I want it out of my life and I need to keep trying.
Take care all.
Izzy X
You're very good at advice Martin, but sometimes life aint plain sailing, but you know that already.
Valarie, I too have poured stuff out and then went to get more. Thankfully I can't drive because I KNOW that if I was able to drive when I was at my very lowest I would have deliberately driven 100 mph into a tree to try to kill myself. It's funny how alcohol can be so loathsome yet so friendly at the same time. I want it out of my life and I need to keep trying.
Take care all.
Izzy X
Hi Izzy,
If it was that easy to think of other things to take our minds off of alcohol, none of us would be an alcoholic. You mentioned that you were using it as a coping mechanism again?? I am praying that for now you aren't harming yourself anymore?
As for your friends wedding, perhaps you should opt out. There have been many events that I haven't gone to for fear of being around the alcohol. In my opinion a healthy fear is a good thing. The minute we get complacent is when we set ourselves up to fail.
You can do this Izzy. It's soo annoying how our childhoods still dictate who we are as adults huh? Mine still creeps into my daily life. Now that I don't have an escape from it with alcohol or drugs some days are harder than others. Sometimes even a song takes me back to a dark place.
We are all here for you Izzy. All you can do is worry about today for yourself. Just take care of yourself TODAY. When you wake up tomorrow start again.
I believe in you my friend.
If it was that easy to think of other things to take our minds off of alcohol, none of us would be an alcoholic. You mentioned that you were using it as a coping mechanism again?? I am praying that for now you aren't harming yourself anymore?
As for your friends wedding, perhaps you should opt out. There have been many events that I haven't gone to for fear of being around the alcohol. In my opinion a healthy fear is a good thing. The minute we get complacent is when we set ourselves up to fail.
You can do this Izzy. It's soo annoying how our childhoods still dictate who we are as adults huh? Mine still creeps into my daily life. Now that I don't have an escape from it with alcohol or drugs some days are harder than others. Sometimes even a song takes me back to a dark place.
We are all here for you Izzy. All you can do is worry about today for yourself. Just take care of yourself TODAY. When you wake up tomorrow start again.
I believe in you my friend.
Hi Izzy, i'm really sorry if I made it sound as if I thought it was easy. I guess I'm just being a man - over-anxious to suggest a solution rather than empathise. I'm sorry if I got it wrong for you.
I can only guess at how you're finding things right now, and some of my own issues make it difficult for me to pick up what people feel or need from me emotionally, but please know that there's absolutely no way I think it's an easy thing to do or that it's just a matter of willpower. I guess I was just trying to suggest that if we're relying on something to help us cope it's going to be difficult to change until we've found other ways....I'm not talking about four years of counselling dealing with deep issues, I'm talking about taking a walk in the park, playing with pets, listening to music that cheers us up, eating chocolate and biscuits and ice-cream, talking to friends, watching movies that take our minds off things...anything that helps us cope, gets us through the next five minutes....maybe if we know we're surrounded by those options we can feel a little bit more secure in our ability to deal with the tough stuff that might be coming up. That's what I meant Izzy....I'm sorry if I made it sound as if I think that any of it's easy. I know my own journey hasn't been easy and I know I haven't had the challenges thrown at me that some others have, so I don't sit in judgement on anyone else. Sounds like I have to take another look at how I come across.
Take good care Izzy,
Martin
I can only guess at how you're finding things right now, and some of my own issues make it difficult for me to pick up what people feel or need from me emotionally, but please know that there's absolutely no way I think it's an easy thing to do or that it's just a matter of willpower. I guess I was just trying to suggest that if we're relying on something to help us cope it's going to be difficult to change until we've found other ways....I'm not talking about four years of counselling dealing with deep issues, I'm talking about taking a walk in the park, playing with pets, listening to music that cheers us up, eating chocolate and biscuits and ice-cream, talking to friends, watching movies that take our minds off things...anything that helps us cope, gets us through the next five minutes....maybe if we know we're surrounded by those options we can feel a little bit more secure in our ability to deal with the tough stuff that might be coming up. That's what I meant Izzy....I'm sorry if I made it sound as if I think that any of it's easy. I know my own journey hasn't been easy and I know I haven't had the challenges thrown at me that some others have, so I don't sit in judgement on anyone else. Sounds like I have to take another look at how I come across.
Take good care Izzy,
Martin
Hi Izzy just wanted to let you know that you have my support and understanding. I know what it's like to drink to cope with things. That is the way I dealt with everything in my life. Now I am like a kid that has the training wheels removed from the bicycle.I am learning to ride without them. I am learning to cope without the alcohol,so it IS possible, but at times can be difficult.Try and stay strong that's all you can do really. Also Izzy my sponsor told me there are a 1000 EXCUSES to drink but NOT ONE REASON to.So I keep telling myself that when I want to drink, Try and tell yourself that drinking is not really helping you cope it is just numbing you to what it is that is really bothering you, therefore you are not coping but denying yourself the ability to deal with it as it should be dealt with. We all have issues that are hard to deal with, so know in that respect you are not alone. All we can do is support one another to the best of our ability and try and learn from other peoples experiences and advice. I wish you all the best Izzy and I hope you find your way I really do. God bless and be safe. (((( ))))))
Hi, great posts. Martin, I'd steer clear of the food for comfort thing, been there, done that, it's as much an evil for an addict as their DOC.- Transference.
Also, I didn't want you to feel like I was getting at you, but the solution rather than empathy thing I think is very typical of men, and what a revelation it is to hear a man actually acknowledge that about themselves! But don't feel bad about it. You have a massive insight into so many things and you should hold onto that. It's a good quality, a bit of advice though, too much advice sometimes!
I'm making plans to quit drinking this week. I can't bear to pour out what I have (not much) I know that's really pathetic. That's what I'm reduced to with this bloody ilness. I'm gonna focus on what I enjoy. My mum watched Leaving Las Vegas with me tonight and she said it was a very poignant film and it made her think about what I went through for a long time, the desire to drink myself to death. I was glad she saw a piece of me in there.
Take care of yourselves and sleep well.
Izzy X
Also, I didn't want you to feel like I was getting at you, but the solution rather than empathy thing I think is very typical of men, and what a revelation it is to hear a man actually acknowledge that about themselves! But don't feel bad about it. You have a massive insight into so many things and you should hold onto that. It's a good quality, a bit of advice though, too much advice sometimes!
I'm making plans to quit drinking this week. I can't bear to pour out what I have (not much) I know that's really pathetic. That's what I'm reduced to with this bloody ilness. I'm gonna focus on what I enjoy. My mum watched Leaving Las Vegas with me tonight and she said it was a very poignant film and it made her think about what I went through for a long time, the desire to drink myself to death. I was glad she saw a piece of me in there.
Take care of yourselves and sleep well.
Izzy X
Hi Izzy,
Girl...OMG I got the book. I read almost a third of it on our flight home! HOLY BALLS it is sooo riveting. The only reason I put it down now is to cook dinner. Girl I have been crying all the way through it. I can't wait til I curl back up with it this evening after dinner. Thanks for the tip.
On another note how are you doing? What did you decide on the wedding of your friend? If you wrote it somewhere and I missed it I apologize. I just posted back on this thread without reading everything because I was so excited about the book.
Hope you are doing well.
Girl...OMG I got the book. I read almost a third of it on our flight home! HOLY BALLS it is sooo riveting. The only reason I put it down now is to cook dinner. Girl I have been crying all the way through it. I can't wait til I curl back up with it this evening after dinner. Thanks for the tip.
On another note how are you doing? What did you decide on the wedding of your friend? If you wrote it somewhere and I missed it I apologize. I just posted back on this thread without reading everything because I was so excited about the book.
Hope you are doing well.
Hi Valarie, I'm not going to my pals wedding coz I just couldn't face it, seeing everyone drunk and making fools of themselves, plus I don't want to see any old school friends, if you could even call them that, a bunch of shallow wasters. I bought my friend a bottle of Champagne and got her a card that's enough for me.
I'm losing my alcohol counsellor as she is moving onto a new job. I'm very upset about this, she's been the only person who has made me feel worth something, not just a pathetic drunk with a personality disorder. I'm getting a new person, don't know who yet as they're just getting through the interviews. They are going to be introduced to me through her though so that wont be too bad.
I couldn't put the book down either, finished it in two days. You should see the film too it's really good.
Izzy
I'm losing my alcohol counsellor as she is moving onto a new job. I'm very upset about this, she's been the only person who has made me feel worth something, not just a pathetic drunk with a personality disorder. I'm getting a new person, don't know who yet as they're just getting through the interviews. They are going to be introduced to me through her though so that wont be too bad.
I couldn't put the book down either, finished it in two days. You should see the film too it's really good.
Izzy
Hi Iz,
Glad you decided to not go to the wedding. Why put yourself through the mental anguish? Good for you girlfriend!
Sorry about your counselor. Hopefully you will get an even better one your next go around. :-)
I am 3/4 through the book. I started it yesterday. It is just crushing when you realize that it's a true story. I had no idea how bad that stuff is. I really have more respect for those suffereing from that addiction. I have pretty much cried my way through every page. Thanks again for the recommendation. I didn't know that it was a movie. I will have to check it out.
Have a good day and keep positive!
Your Friend Valarie
Glad you decided to not go to the wedding. Why put yourself through the mental anguish? Good for you girlfriend!
Sorry about your counselor. Hopefully you will get an even better one your next go around. :-)
I am 3/4 through the book. I started it yesterday. It is just crushing when you realize that it's a true story. I had no idea how bad that stuff is. I really have more respect for those suffereing from that addiction. I have pretty much cried my way through every page. Thanks again for the recommendation. I didn't know that it was a movie. I will have to check it out.
Have a good day and keep positive!
Your Friend Valarie
