Hey you around? I know you said the other day you haven't been doing so well, was just a little concerned. Hope you're OK and will post when you can...
Diito here too Izzy....Isn't your Dr. appointment soon to get antabuse??? Let us know how you are pal.
I got my bloods done on Tuesday. Stressed out. Get the results back next Tuesday. Got no appointment through for the Hospital yet... got to wait another two months... f***ing pissed off about that...
Had a really bad week all round really... everything catching up with me from the wee break I had about a month ago... all the comedown you know? I was pretty level when I was away which was a huge effort and now I'm back everything seems worse than ever!
I'm gonna start this art thing for people with mental health difficulties. You can do anything you like no expense spared... sounds pretty cool... I'm gonna give it a shot... I need to get out the house... Actually went and had a look round... everyone's friendly and I didn't feel out of place...
Anyway thanks for the concern you two!! I appreciate it I really do...
Take care of yourselves...
Izzy X
Had a really bad week all round really... everything catching up with me from the wee break I had about a month ago... all the comedown you know? I was pretty level when I was away which was a huge effort and now I'm back everything seems worse than ever!
I'm gonna start this art thing for people with mental health difficulties. You can do anything you like no expense spared... sounds pretty cool... I'm gonna give it a shot... I need to get out the house... Actually went and had a look round... everyone's friendly and I didn't feel out of place...
Anyway thanks for the concern you two!! I appreciate it I really do...
Take care of yourselves...
Izzy X
Hi Izzy....sorry you are feeling so down my friend. Everything is always worse when we are drinking. I always forget that booze is a depressant. It sucks I know but you will get through it. Have you quit the cutting thing? I hope so! Keep your chin up pal and keep posting and reading it really does help even if it is just to get all the swirling thoughts out of your head.
Hey Izzy good news about the art class. When i lived at home with my parents it was 20 mins max that i could handle with my dad before we argued, thing was i would tense up the closer i got to home getting myself ready for the arguement so by the time i got home i was ready to rumble. and it was like that until i stopped drinking , we still argued but i had new ways of coping with the bulls*** and now he is dead i talk to him more as a son who now understands his dad and loves him.
Did you ever find out if there is any AA contact where you live? because the friendly feeling you had in art class you would also feel at an AA meeting and it would be another period of time away from all the house emotions.
Light and love Zac
Did you ever find out if there is any AA contact where you live? because the friendly feeling you had in art class you would also feel at an AA meeting and it would be another period of time away from all the house emotions.
Light and love Zac
Sorry you've been feeling so overwhelmed Izzy... and about the hospital too, it seems a little ridiculous for them to make you wait that long, you've already been waiting too long! The art thing sounds really good though... when I was in high school I had a lot of bad s*** go down, mom died, couple friends too (drunk driving, ah the irony), and I "misbehaved" & ended up getting booted out of school and put into an "alternate" school... but they had a special art program there, like you said all the supplies and everything at your disposal, and I loved it... got out so many of my feelings and frustrations on canvas and paper and in clay, etc. And if the people are friendly maybe it will help you feel more comfortable around others...
I'm wondering too about the cutting, I hope you're not still doing it... you're worth more than that!
Zac, great post, I had a real rough relationship with my own dad much of the time, I did the same, preparing to argue with him before I ever got home... I never forgave him for his mistakes till long after he died, but now I know he did the best he could, and knowing he really loved me is enough for me. I'm glad I was able to make peace with it.
I'm wondering too about the cutting, I hope you're not still doing it... you're worth more than that!
Zac, great post, I had a real rough relationship with my own dad much of the time, I did the same, preparing to argue with him before I ever got home... I never forgave him for his mistakes till long after he died, but now I know he did the best he could, and knowing he really loved me is enough for me. I'm glad I was able to make peace with it.
Hi Izzy, Good job on just getting out of the house...I know that is hard for you and that was a big step...so proud of you!
Thanks everyone for your posts... Zac your description of how you and your dad used to argue within twenty minutes of clapping eyes on each other is exactly what it used to be like here. I'd come in from school and we'd start. He'd always have to niggle at me and I'd fly off the handle.
The cutting- haven't done it for a few weeks but I don't know what might trigger it off again. I only do it when I get so angry I don't feel it.
I personally think too that the waiting time at the hospital is ridiculous... I'm getting fidgety all the time coz I'm cracking up... I wanna move on with my life do something make some money... be able to actually walk out the door without being scared of people staring at me... I'm actually hating this right now... I can't seem to find just one day where I can say no and start over again. The first day's always the hardest...
(P.S.- VWGirl I am pleased with myself too for making the effort to try something new. I haven't done that for about two years now so thanks for your encouragement!)
Izzy X
The cutting- haven't done it for a few weeks but I don't know what might trigger it off again. I only do it when I get so angry I don't feel it.
I personally think too that the waiting time at the hospital is ridiculous... I'm getting fidgety all the time coz I'm cracking up... I wanna move on with my life do something make some money... be able to actually walk out the door without being scared of people staring at me... I'm actually hating this right now... I can't seem to find just one day where I can say no and start over again. The first day's always the hardest...
(P.S.- VWGirl I am pleased with myself too for making the effort to try something new. I haven't done that for about two years now so thanks for your encouragement!)
Izzy X
Izzy, you are on your way... you are making an effort to change the things you aren't happy with, and that's a really big deal... and as VW always says, it's easier to stay sober than get sober...that first day is the hardest, I know all about it, even when I've been miserably hungover after a slip I've been so tempted to say "f*** it, I ve already lost it, might as well keep going..." but once I've gotten past that first day it's always seemed to get easier. Every sober day is a victory at this stage as far as I'm concerned. Hang tough sweetie, I can tell you're a strong girl...you can do this... if posting helps, lay it on us whenever you want, OK?
Hoping you're feeling OK today...
Hoping you're feeling OK today...
Izzy, Art is a great outlet for getting "stuff" out...I love to draw, to sketch, and it is very therapeutic...I might suggest that you just take baby steps as to not get yourself overwhelmed...again, you are doing terrific.
CB - That's right, it's easier to STAY sober than GET sober; all those little cliches, I just keep posting them...and it makes me happy that you remember them!
I hope you two and everyone else is well this Friday night (at least it's Friday night in SoCal).
CB - That's right, it's easier to STAY sober than GET sober; all those little cliches, I just keep posting them...and it makes me happy that you remember them!
I hope you two and everyone else is well this Friday night (at least it's Friday night in SoCal).
Hey Izzy
how's art clas going? I can't draw a stick figure LOL? what kind of stuff are you thinking about drawing/painting?
How are you hanging in there? Are your days getting any better? I'm finding my days are getting slowly better the longer I stay sober. Now I am motivated to stay sober cause I don't want to keep going through that first week over and over again - it sucks!!! Now my head is giving me a break at least a few hours a day.
keep in touch
Idgie.
how's art clas going? I can't draw a stick figure LOL? what kind of stuff are you thinking about drawing/painting?
How are you hanging in there? Are your days getting any better? I'm finding my days are getting slowly better the longer I stay sober. Now I am motivated to stay sober cause I don't want to keep going through that first week over and over again - it sucks!!! Now my head is giving me a break at least a few hours a day.
keep in touch
Idgie.
Hi Idgie and VWGirl. The art group isn't till Thursday... I'll let you all know how it goes.
My days are ok at the moment... still not 100% sober although not getting drunk... I increased my meds so maybe that's got something to do with it...?
I do a bit of Schnauzer grooming on the side for my friends so I'm making a few quid at the moment. Got savings started to give me an incentive not to drink... I'll have money to buy something I really want or save it all and see it accumulate...
I have another Schnauzer to groom on Tuesday so I'm actually looking forward to that...
My dad has gone away for a few days so I'm feeling good about that you know... a bit of space...
Hope everyone is ok and is having a good day..?
Izzy X
My days are ok at the moment... still not 100% sober although not getting drunk... I increased my meds so maybe that's got something to do with it...?
I do a bit of Schnauzer grooming on the side for my friends so I'm making a few quid at the moment. Got savings started to give me an incentive not to drink... I'll have money to buy something I really want or save it all and see it accumulate...
I have another Schnauzer to groom on Tuesday so I'm actually looking forward to that...
My dad has gone away for a few days so I'm feeling good about that you know... a bit of space...
Hope everyone is ok and is having a good day..?
Izzy X
Hi Izzy
Glad to hear you got a fun occupation that is also making you some $$$$. Good going. Yep its good to reward yourself in a non-drinking way. If I don't drink all week I reward myself by buying abook - I love books. My H was saying how he'd got in the habit of celebrating payday by buying alcohol, I suggested he buy a CD every payday then take an hour for himself to listen to it when he gets home. He really liked that suggestion.
Enjoy your grooming and maybe you'll get some big sloppy doggie kisses as a bonus LOL.
Don't forget to post aftre art class and let us know how it went.
cheers Idgie
Glad to hear you got a fun occupation that is also making you some $$$$. Good going. Yep its good to reward yourself in a non-drinking way. If I don't drink all week I reward myself by buying abook - I love books. My H was saying how he'd got in the habit of celebrating payday by buying alcohol, I suggested he buy a CD every payday then take an hour for himself to listen to it when he gets home. He really liked that suggestion.
Enjoy your grooming and maybe you'll get some big sloppy doggie kisses as a bonus LOL.
Don't forget to post aftre art class and let us know how it went.
cheers Idgie
Izzy, how goes it today? Hope you are okay. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you...oh, btw, my ex-husband and his wife own their own self-service dog washing shop. It's a very cool concept and I am grateful that he is self-supporting thru his own contributions now and not mine ~ lol!
