Ya move your clock backwards I think..........the computers say the right time....I don't know why, but they did last week already.....either way you are awake weird hours again......will any of us ever sleep like normal?
Good way to scare off any newcomer with that one......you will never sleep again!...........and no ya will...........I lie.
Jack, O.K. this is HUGE..................ONE WEEK...........clean out his room?
We're kind of in the same situation in a way.........cause your mom is saying to clean it out..........she's hurt, mad or both or something..........and probably hurt FOR you.............all this about some chick ain't happy with your cupboard?
Jack, just me, but I think ya know what this may have been coming........they sort of inch their way out..........and it ain't right and they just wait for the one thing makes it all go POOF...........I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now it looks like it's on YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah a mind you know what ain't it?
He's too proud to ask for his stuff................well do you look like one of them Utility Storage places...........you know how much it is to rent one of them....or how bout one of them POD thingies?
Maybe you could call HIM and ask to talk to HIM minus HER.........father to son............man to man...........and go from there?
Yesterday was ONE YEAR since my daughter took her hinney out of this house............I've seen her maybe three times since then........and yesterday was my mom's birthday..........NO CALL NO CARD........which is fine as my mom ain't a birthday kind of person........BUT.........this is a lady made sure very single year that kid had a party and gifts and anything she wanted.
How ya gonna NOT call your own grandmom who raised ya? True confessions I called that kid........she screens calls........I left no message........she finally calls like at 11:00PM.........got my mom and said only "Yeah, did someone call me?"...........my mom yells up to me...........I nicely asked how she was, and how was school...........and then I told her it was mom-mom's birthday.
"OH SHOOT IT IS? I'M SORRY. TELL HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY" then I knew what was coming "YEAH A YEAR AGO YOU KICKED ME OUT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
React? No I didn't. I just said "You left. Let it be what you want it to be". Then of course she lies and says I gotta go we're.........I don't listen after that.
So one week can turn into a month and turns into a year. Not sure what I'm saying. Just don't want you so hurt. It hurts like hell PLUS you're misssing TWO people. I mean this is major.
I'd definately go up Sandy's sister's for Thanksgiving. Definately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aw, Jack, I'm awful sorry things seem to be caving in on you. I really thought it'd all be gone by now and worked itself out between you. They can be so short-sighted and stubborn at that age - I know I was. Sorry you're feeling so all alone, but Bryn's here for you and she knows just how you feel - though I like to add that misery has enough company, why did it need yours? I hear your nervousness over moving in with his mother, I'm sure it'll be a real eye-opener for him. Is GF moving in with her, too? As for painting the room - yeesh, it's only been a week. I haven't even made my daughter's bed up for guests and she's been gone a month. Do what you need to do on your own time - whatever feels right to you.
And if the invite is out there to spend Thankgiving with Sandy, go for it. My sense of what's happening with her is that it's about her only - not about you, though I know that doesn't make it any less painful. What harm could it do to enjoy a warm meal and a little tradition together? Do you get along with her family okay?
Hang in there Jack...
Peace~MomNMore
And if the invite is out there to spend Thankgiving with Sandy, go for it. My sense of what's happening with her is that it's about her only - not about you, though I know that doesn't make it any less painful. What harm could it do to enjoy a warm meal and a little tradition together? Do you get along with her family okay?
Hang in there Jack...
Peace~MomNMore
Jack, don't do his room yet. It's only been a week, and even if he never comes back to live, it's too soon for you, and it sends out the wrong signals. If only I knew these things when I was younger. When my mum rang me up one day (after about 10 years after I left home!!!) and said that she'd sorted all my stuff into bags and boxes and could I either come and collect it or throw it away, I think I actually cried. I knew that my home was gone. I lived like a gypsy, never settling, never having a real home, and in the back of my mind, there was this perfect room, with two windows, one which looked out over the apple trees, the other over the back field. It had a single bed, and a big wardrobe, and my pictures were on the walls, and my stuff was where it should be. That was my home. No matter where I strayed, that was my home, it was there waiting for me, in those moments of pure despair, when I made my way back, and crawled under the quilt. And suddenly it was gone, and I felt like I rootless bit of tumbleweed, rolling down a deserted road. Leave it all where it is. For now.
much love as always
Diff xxxx
much love as always
Diff xxxx
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Diff, just WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for that insight.
Hit HOME and no pun intended.
Thanks for that insight.
Hit HOME and no pun intended.
I took the day off today. I made an appointment with a psychologist (with the recommendation of my therapist). Its for 3 pm this afternoon. Mt therapist seems ti think that Im falling into a deeper depression than she can handle -so see wants me to use my insurance to pay for a expert (the shrink-who cam prescribe anti-depression pills).
Well I have to say,as an addict ,who has taken all kinds of pills to give me all kinds of thrills- - antidepressants are not my thing. However,Ill go today & see what they say.
I guess its all about keeping the stress of Sandy & my son leaving me within a week of each other that has me so bummed.
Also the holidays are coming up - & Im feeling a little low about that too.
Nothing has made me want to go out & start using heroin again though- & that is a good thing.
Well I keep you informed of my soap opera
jack
Well I have to say,as an addict ,who has taken all kinds of pills to give me all kinds of thrills- - antidepressants are not my thing. However,Ill go today & see what they say.
I guess its all about keeping the stress of Sandy & my son leaving me within a week of each other that has me so bummed.
Also the holidays are coming up - & Im feeling a little low about that too.
Nothing has made me want to go out & start using heroin again though- & that is a good thing.
Well I keep you informed of my soap opera
jack
Thinking of ya Jack.
Sandy, your son and your grandmom........and then life itself.......all at once.
Let us know how ya do, K?
Sandy, your son and your grandmom........and then life itself.......all at once.
Let us know how ya do, K?
edit**- I meant to say I had a appointment with a psychiatrist not psychologist
difference as you know, - one is an MD -the other isnt
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well I went to the shrink today. Just as I thought, he "diagnosed" me as a mild depression case with anxiety.
He wanted to start me on a diet of paxil & ativan. Paxil ,the wonder drug, cousin to Prozac. Ativan ,in the benzo family, shorter acting than most benzo,s, he told me to take 1 before I get ready to go to sleep. This way ,Ill be able to relax & sleep through the whole night instead of being up at 4 am(like now)-
I took the scripts & threw them in my night stand with all my other unused & long since forgotten about paperwork.
I think these guys have quite a racket going. I'm going back to my therapist next week & tell her that I don't think I need modern medicine just because life has beaten me up for a few weeks. Hell, our parents & generations before us dealt with life on life's terms (an AA/NA thing) without taking these drugs -why cant my generation??
Does the pharmaceutical industry see a market out there ($$$ ) Maybe Im just being cynical because they do help many people, but I just don't think I need them.
Anyway- I'm supposed to meet my kid for breakfast this morning & see where we stand- it should be interesting.
peacetoall
jack
difference as you know, - one is an MD -the other isnt
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well I went to the shrink today. Just as I thought, he "diagnosed" me as a mild depression case with anxiety.
He wanted to start me on a diet of paxil & ativan. Paxil ,the wonder drug, cousin to Prozac. Ativan ,in the benzo family, shorter acting than most benzo,s, he told me to take 1 before I get ready to go to sleep. This way ,Ill be able to relax & sleep through the whole night instead of being up at 4 am(like now)-
I took the scripts & threw them in my night stand with all my other unused & long since forgotten about paperwork.
I think these guys have quite a racket going. I'm going back to my therapist next week & tell her that I don't think I need modern medicine just because life has beaten me up for a few weeks. Hell, our parents & generations before us dealt with life on life's terms (an AA/NA thing) without taking these drugs -why cant my generation??
Does the pharmaceutical industry see a market out there ($$$ ) Maybe Im just being cynical because they do help many people, but I just don't think I need them.
Anyway- I'm supposed to meet my kid for breakfast this morning & see where we stand- it should be interesting.
peacetoall
jack
Fair play to ya Jack for not going for the medications...i think ya made the right choice of course those doctors have mainly$$$$$ on there mind.Hope you can resolve some of the issues with yer son .....at least you are meeting for a chat ...thats gotta be positive ..but keep that cool head on ya mate...as ever all the best to you J..................Davey
((((HUGZ)))) to my Jack.
You're one wise man if ya ask me.........hey, ya went to see what could help.
Ya gave it a go........mad respect, Jack.........and meanwhile on PP Board, poor Rhonda got some Paxil withdrawl going on........and she was wise enough pretty early on......I don't bee needing another thing to hold me down.
Just my experience.......I kid ya not that stuff was harder to kick than dope.
I'll trade ya two opera tickets for one patient needs ringing in their ears, aggressiveness, and trips over their own two feet.......that's what happened to me.
GREAT NEWS........breakfast.........this is good....wishing ya the best!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're one wise man if ya ask me.........hey, ya went to see what could help.
Ya gave it a go........mad respect, Jack.........and meanwhile on PP Board, poor Rhonda got some Paxil withdrawl going on........and she was wise enough pretty early on......I don't bee needing another thing to hold me down.
Just my experience.......I kid ya not that stuff was harder to kick than dope.
I'll trade ya two opera tickets for one patient needs ringing in their ears, aggressiveness, and trips over their own two feet.......that's what happened to me.
GREAT NEWS........breakfast.........this is good....wishing ya the best!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jack, you sound pretty aware of the triggers like family stuff and the season, which is something alot of people don't clue in to.....so it sounds more like a "situational depression" maybe.....and like any situation, it'll come and go. :-) My wish for you is 8 hours of blissful sleep.....and also....to borrow a title...may you have an "I'm ok, you're o.k" time with your son.....
Love and light,
Diana
Love and light,
Diana
Jack, for what it's worth I do think you did the right thing. Being depressed is different to being miserable because there are things going on in your life. You know that the cause of your current low spell is not chemical. So unless you can take a pill that magically fixes the problems, I don't think pills are the answer. When I was going through a tough time a few months ago, My psychiatrist (NHS, so not seeing me for the money) agreed with me that increasing my anti-depressants was not going to help. You just have to find ways of coming to terms with what's going on in your life, so that you can live with it. And sometimes things hurt, and the only thing that stops the hurt is time. Life has ups and downs, nobody could be happy all the time. It's that constant state of flux that makes life so much sweeter, so you just have to take the rough with the smooth.
Us dope fiends do find it that bit harder to cope with painful/emotional situations, as we've numbed our emotions for so long, we're like the princess and the pea. We bruise easy. So you have to be proactive, and look after yourself, cosset yourself, learn the art of self comfort. Even small things, like buying a slice of your favourite cheese cake, can just make that little bit of difference. I am very aware that I'm in danger of losing you here Jack... If you were a girl, then I'd probably carry on. Buy that dress you've been admiring for the past month! And get the shoes too. Go on, eat that bar of Dairy Milk. Have that bubble bath, and light the candles too. Get a new haircut. Flirt with that security guard at the office!
Somehow Jack, I think something is lost in translation. You've probably stopped reading now. OK I'll shut up...
love as always
Diff xxxx
Us dope fiends do find it that bit harder to cope with painful/emotional situations, as we've numbed our emotions for so long, we're like the princess and the pea. We bruise easy. So you have to be proactive, and look after yourself, cosset yourself, learn the art of self comfort. Even small things, like buying a slice of your favourite cheese cake, can just make that little bit of difference. I am very aware that I'm in danger of losing you here Jack... If you were a girl, then I'd probably carry on. Buy that dress you've been admiring for the past month! And get the shoes too. Go on, eat that bar of Dairy Milk. Have that bubble bath, and light the candles too. Get a new haircut. Flirt with that security guard at the office!
Somehow Jack, I think something is lost in translation. You've probably stopped reading now. OK I'll shut up...
love as always
Diff xxxx
Hmmmm....flirt with the security guard.....:-) never thought of that one...thanks Diff ! LOL
Thanks to all- yeah I think I did the right thing. Some of these so-called specialists think that if you just take these magic beans -it will be all good.
And I don't know how this guy comes up diagnosing me as being in a state of depression as opposed to just feeling bummed, & out of sorts- hell, we just met.- I don't need any magic beans-although I like to get my hands on that goose with the golden eggs.
Anyway ,breakfast with the kid went OK. He still wants to stay by his mothers for a bit. Now that I spoke to him(face to face) I feel a little better. I guess he wants to try to spread his wings a bit. He has been in this house being raised by my mother (and Dad) and myself for a long time. He doesn't even really know his mother, and I guess he wants to (for better or worse).
He says he's cooled a bit with that wacky girlfriend of his ,so that is a plus.
I told him if he needs anything ,he knows I'll always be there. It was a little emotional but I think that's good.
Oh and Diff- I get the idea- - & by the way all security people arent men. Matter of fact ,there is this little puerto-rican woman that.....ah never mind ,that's a different forum.lol
allinALLa Good Day,
jack
jack
And I don't know how this guy comes up diagnosing me as being in a state of depression as opposed to just feeling bummed, & out of sorts- hell, we just met.- I don't need any magic beans-although I like to get my hands on that goose with the golden eggs.
Anyway ,breakfast with the kid went OK. He still wants to stay by his mothers for a bit. Now that I spoke to him(face to face) I feel a little better. I guess he wants to try to spread his wings a bit. He has been in this house being raised by my mother (and Dad) and myself for a long time. He doesn't even really know his mother, and I guess he wants to (for better or worse).
He says he's cooled a bit with that wacky girlfriend of his ,so that is a plus.
I told him if he needs anything ,he knows I'll always be there. It was a little emotional but I think that's good.
Oh and Diff- I get the idea- - & by the way all security people arent men. Matter of fact ,there is this little puerto-rican woman that.....ah never mind ,that's a different forum.lol
allinALLa Good Day,
jack
jack
Yeah Jack, that female security guard thing has both fascinated and appalled in equal measure. There's this woman, she works in the shopping precinct, she's a tiny little thing, can't weigh more than 120lbs, but the way she walks, Christ, it's like in her mind she's strutting down the runway at hunk of the year competition. She's got the swagger, you know the way a guy does when he's fronting up to you. Every time I go to town, I find myself looking out for the black uniform and the blond hair. I can't seem to stop myself staring at her. And I'm not even a lesbian!!!
God, enough already!!!
love
Diff xxx
God, enough already!!!
love
Diff xxx
How can anyone EVER even be allowed a sad day and some grief with our girl, Diff? Plus she's giving Wonder Woman ideas now.
Diff, I ain't gay either, but I'd flirt with Natalie Merchant........so this, ummmm polarity with the female guard........maybe you like chicks in uniform? YIKES!
Jack, as always I was thinking of you........and that was progress......the breakie as the Brits call it.........so he's around at mom's......maybe we bore twins and they seperated them somehow in a petri dish or sumptin.......take care of you..........I hate that saying.........but, what ya gonna do?
I just don't get it.........but they do what they gotta do......turkey up Sandy's sisters is a plan.........good lookout on the majic beans.
Diff, I ain't gay either, but I'd flirt with Natalie Merchant........so this, ummmm polarity with the female guard........maybe you like chicks in uniform? YIKES!
Jack, as always I was thinking of you........and that was progress......the breakie as the Brits call it.........so he's around at mom's......maybe we bore twins and they seperated them somehow in a petri dish or sumptin.......take care of you..........I hate that saying.........but, what ya gonna do?
I just don't get it.........but they do what they gotta do......turkey up Sandy's sisters is a plan.........good lookout on the majic beans.
