I hate to wake up and pass on bad news,but another one of us didnt make it.
His name was
was Y.. Years ago , when I was running hard,we became running partners. We used to pool all our resources,-transportation,money,..whatever.and take that carsick ride over the bridge into NY. We kind of looked out for each other(as much as 2 very active addicts could). Well as time went on, we went different ways. I wound up on MM,and Y.wound up in county jail after county jail.We lost touch. However,when he would get out ,I would run into him hanging outside the clinic.Now, homeless,and broke , sometimes I would throw him a 5 dollar bill & beg him to get help . At least try the program I,d tell him, its gotta be better than stealing and starving yourself. To my surprise,Y told me that he had the heroin problem under control, he doesnt use anymore he told me.Thinking,he was full of sh*t,I asked ,well what is it?? Alcohol he explained.He couldnt afford dope anymore,and got tired of beind locked up on possession charges. Alcohol,he explained was cheaper,legal,and more accepted with the street people with whom he now had to deal with on a regular bases.Free food kitchens,sometimes shelter and all around help came easier he explained being a alcoholic than a junkie.Well we lost touch again,for a long time.
Then in the beginning of this summer, Y...shows up again in front of the clinic. Now,looking worse than ever. Few teeth left,hair matted to his head,and tattered clothes,he looks at me to ashamed to even say hello. I acknowledge him right away and ask ..Listen if you need any help getting into the local hospital for a detox ,I have a few days off of work comin,Id be happy to help you out. They have to take you as a charity case. He takes me up on this offer ,and the next 2 days are spent getting his meger possessions together and filling out all the nesseccery paperwork to get a bed for a 30 day detox. Feeling ok with myself ,I left him at the detox-section of the hospital.Well the month passes and I dont see him anymore.More time passes,& I tell myself -he,s probably ok ,he seemed determine not to live like that anymore.
Well now the tragedy> I pick up todays Sunday paper ,and there in the Local Section is a small story about a 49 year old male that was pulled out of the Passaic River. He was identified by what teeth he did have and by a hospital band on the wrist. Yeah my old running partner ,friend,and really ok guy had jumped. They found a suicide note in a empty bourbon bottle on the banks not far from where they fished him out. Even though we werent the closest of friends ,I cant stop thinking about it. He has no parents alive,and a cold harted sister in upstate NY who severed her ties years ago. I know he,ll wind up in a potters field like he never even existed.
If any of you guys stayed with this whole story, Im sorry for bummin you out. It is just such a sad commentery on someone who didnt know how to break the cycle. Jails,instutions,and finally death. Cant help but feel very bad.
Thanks for listening
lots of love & respect
jack
I posted this on the heroin pages this morning,& thought Id copy and paste it over here.I dont drink,so I often dont think about the horrors of alcoholism. This morning I was rocked to the bones when I read the local paper.I,ve been to AAmeetings where some of the oldtimers made me feel a little weird because I was (am) a heroin addict.This story unfortunetly shows how intertwined we all are. Addiction is an addiction is an addiction.
god bless
jack
Oh my god there really are no words I am a pill addict in recovery and have 106 days clean and I just am speechless but god has blessed you for many reasons you have lived through your addiction to tell this story and let everyone know that addiction is real and it kills no matter the form it may be in.May all your days be blessed ..............Jessica
