Hi james,
How's tricks?Sorry I couldn't speak to you yesterday but I had doctors appointments and although i'm staying with my mum just now she lives in a 1 bedroom house and i'm having to kip on the couch so I had an appointment with my homeless officer to see what the f*** was going on with my housing situation.The thing is my mum has a massive drink problem and I know this might sound a bit hipocritical but I just can't stand to see her destroying herself.The thing is she had a massive stroke a couple of years ago(caused by to much smoking and her drinking)and I just do not feel that she has tried hard enough to get herself better.It is like she has thought to herself well i'm like this now so what's the point of trying to do anything about it and don't get me wrong I love my mum to bits but in order for me to get on with my life I feel that I need my own place so I can be happy and have some security of my own.So your a Tottenham supporter?I'm a huge Celtic fan, when I was younger my Uncle used to take me and my big brother to the games although half the time we couldn't get tickets to the Celtic end so we had to go in the other side which is just not the same cause you can't cheer when your team scores, well not unless you want to get linched.I don't go to the games now though can't bloody afford to.Well i've been clean for a month now James and although I know i've got a long way to go the future is definately looking alot better for me.I'm taking all the help that is offered to me just now and just trying to keep away from all my drug associates and get on with my life.That's another reason why i'm desperate to get a house of my own cause I can channel all my energies into making it a lovely home for myself.I also think moving away to another area would be good for me aswell cause Cupar is such a small place that it is hard keeping away from everyone and although I have alot of good memories here I also have just as many bad.It's just a little daunting moving from a place where you have stayed for most of your life and starting all again, but i'm also a little excited about the idea.The good thing is though is the place i'm considering (Dundee) is where I spent most of my childhood and the majority of my family live there aswell so I would not be totally alone.So what about you are you still considering moveing to the lake District?Do you have family or friends there or are you just going to try and get a live in job or something in one of the Hotels?I must admit the Lake District does look like a lovely place to live and if you do move I hope it will all work out for you.Anyway I think i've blethered enough s*** for one day.
Hope to here from you soon.Take care.
Love Kelly XXX
Hi Kelly,
Its another wet morning in paradise. When is this f****ing rain gonna hold up??
Ive just got soaked cycling up here, an I lost my fags along the way too - a brand new packet of 20, I'd only smoked one out of it !! B*****ks!
Ne way, hows things ? How did it go at the housing aptmnt ? D'you live in a council place, an can you ask to move wherever you wanna go ? I wish I could get a council place, all they offered me was a b+b in Ilford (East London), an I only lasted 2 days there mate - it was run by Asians, I never saw neone to talk to the whole 2 dayz I woz there an it was absoloutley soul destroying. So at the moment I am living wiv my friend an her 2 kids, luckily she aint or never has been on the gear, so I am alright there, although she does take a bit, no sorry, quite a lot, of whizz. She does it every day an haz done since she was about 20, shes 32 now.
Itz OK there but I don't think I can handle it much longer, the bird neva sleepz an whenever I go to bed she'll be waking me up at least 3 times every night, an thats without the noise the kidz make - but there alright really, they make me realize how much I miss my little boy, I only see him on alternate weekendz (coz of the gear), an when I do I don't want him to go back to hiz mum (who iz now wiv someone else, who I just don't get on wiv - funny that, eh?! The main reason for my dislike of the bloke iz that he asked Robby to call him dad, an I aint havin that - would you??). Talking about Robby haz just reminded me that I ave to buy him some new shoes 4 when he goes bak to school on Tuesday, she can't afford them, spends all her dough on drink, she has the nerve to lecture me 'bout doing the gear an she is getting pi**ed out of her head every f***ing day an night - what a hypocrite.
Ne way enough about my boring life, Im just going on about nothing really an Im sure u don't wanna hear about it!
Im hoping to move up the Lakes coz my sista has got a place up there an she said it is so cheap to rent a place, about 25-30 a week for a 1 bed flat, whereas down here it is about 100 - 120 a week, just for a studio aptmnt !
She also said that the council are literally begging for people to fill up there places, an if I went to them they would give me a flat straight away. Im not 100% sure about going yet tho - so at the moment its all just talk an no action, thats pretty much wot im usually like, I'll have all these great plans an brilliant ideas - but pretty much nothin' will get done about those ideas.
How old r u Kelly, I can't remember if you sed b4 or not - u dont have to say if u don't wanna, I was just curious if u were about the same age as me or wot.
Well Im gonna go now, remember "every day without gear is another day without tears".
Keep up the good work girl, your doin really well too keep away from it - we'll stay off the s*** together!
See ya later
James
;-) ;-) ;-)
Its another wet morning in paradise. When is this f****ing rain gonna hold up??
Ive just got soaked cycling up here, an I lost my fags along the way too - a brand new packet of 20, I'd only smoked one out of it !! B*****ks!
Ne way, hows things ? How did it go at the housing aptmnt ? D'you live in a council place, an can you ask to move wherever you wanna go ? I wish I could get a council place, all they offered me was a b+b in Ilford (East London), an I only lasted 2 days there mate - it was run by Asians, I never saw neone to talk to the whole 2 dayz I woz there an it was absoloutley soul destroying. So at the moment I am living wiv my friend an her 2 kids, luckily she aint or never has been on the gear, so I am alright there, although she does take a bit, no sorry, quite a lot, of whizz. She does it every day an haz done since she was about 20, shes 32 now.
Itz OK there but I don't think I can handle it much longer, the bird neva sleepz an whenever I go to bed she'll be waking me up at least 3 times every night, an thats without the noise the kidz make - but there alright really, they make me realize how much I miss my little boy, I only see him on alternate weekendz (coz of the gear), an when I do I don't want him to go back to hiz mum (who iz now wiv someone else, who I just don't get on wiv - funny that, eh?! The main reason for my dislike of the bloke iz that he asked Robby to call him dad, an I aint havin that - would you??). Talking about Robby haz just reminded me that I ave to buy him some new shoes 4 when he goes bak to school on Tuesday, she can't afford them, spends all her dough on drink, she has the nerve to lecture me 'bout doing the gear an she is getting pi**ed out of her head every f***ing day an night - what a hypocrite.
Ne way enough about my boring life, Im just going on about nothing really an Im sure u don't wanna hear about it!
Im hoping to move up the Lakes coz my sista has got a place up there an she said it is so cheap to rent a place, about 25-30 a week for a 1 bed flat, whereas down here it is about 100 - 120 a week, just for a studio aptmnt !
She also said that the council are literally begging for people to fill up there places, an if I went to them they would give me a flat straight away. Im not 100% sure about going yet tho - so at the moment its all just talk an no action, thats pretty much wot im usually like, I'll have all these great plans an brilliant ideas - but pretty much nothin' will get done about those ideas.
How old r u Kelly, I can't remember if you sed b4 or not - u dont have to say if u don't wanna, I was just curious if u were about the same age as me or wot.
Well Im gonna go now, remember "every day without gear is another day without tears".
Keep up the good work girl, your doin really well too keep away from it - we'll stay off the s*** together!
See ya later
James
;-) ;-) ;-)
Hi James,
How's life treating you just now?I'm having a very s***y day.I was at the doctors this morning to get my script and he told me that the results of my blood test came back positive for hepatits C.So on top of having DVT i've now got Hep C as well, isn't life just f***ing great.I've been looking on some web sites for information about it cause all I got from the doctor was "Don't worry about it Kelly" Well that's easy for him to say.He said that I have to see a liver specialist and then I will find out if it Chronic or not,so you'll need to keep your fingers crossed for me infact keep your toes crossed for me aswell.Anyway how was your weekend did you do anything exciting?I was at the pub all day yesterday so i'm feeling a bit hungover and sorry for myself today.I havent been tempted to use though so that's one positive thing I suppose cause i'm bad for taking a bad situation and making it worse by thinking oh! f*** it what's the point anymore and go and buy myself a bag.So i'm pleased to say that I have not gone down that road today.Sorry I have not got nothing nice to say today but i'm sure you understand.Anyway i'll not bore you anymore with the sorry facts of my life just now.Next time we chat I hope i'll be a bit cheerier.Take Care and I hope your still managing to keep up the good work.
Lots of Love Kelly XXX
How's life treating you just now?I'm having a very s***y day.I was at the doctors this morning to get my script and he told me that the results of my blood test came back positive for hepatits C.So on top of having DVT i've now got Hep C as well, isn't life just f***ing great.I've been looking on some web sites for information about it cause all I got from the doctor was "Don't worry about it Kelly" Well that's easy for him to say.He said that I have to see a liver specialist and then I will find out if it Chronic or not,so you'll need to keep your fingers crossed for me infact keep your toes crossed for me aswell.Anyway how was your weekend did you do anything exciting?I was at the pub all day yesterday so i'm feeling a bit hungover and sorry for myself today.I havent been tempted to use though so that's one positive thing I suppose cause i'm bad for taking a bad situation and making it worse by thinking oh! f*** it what's the point anymore and go and buy myself a bag.So i'm pleased to say that I have not gone down that road today.Sorry I have not got nothing nice to say today but i'm sure you understand.Anyway i'll not bore you anymore with the sorry facts of my life just now.Next time we chat I hope i'll be a bit cheerier.Take Care and I hope your still managing to keep up the good work.
Lots of Love Kelly XXX
Hi Kelly,
Sorry to hear 'bout your bad news, I don't really know all that much about hepC so I can't really help you on that one, my friends say that it stays wiv you for your whole life(so thats cheered u up!!) - but it doesn't really change you or affect you in any way - I think thats right anyway - you probably know more than me about it.
I had a bad day too yesterday, I went round to see my little 'n and take him to school(his first day in Junior school) and it ended in a big row in front of Robby, she was calling the police an everything, telling me that I would never see my boy again. It started over me saying that she had slept wiv someone in front of her mate, an that was it then, shhe just started goin mad at me, an then blamed me for upsetting robby - what a load of bull****.
An then to top it all as I was walking off, crying, I went round the square to get some superT's to drown my sorrows, I bumped into a kid who sells skunk, an also a bit of white in the past "J you still do a bit of brown?" he said showing me a money bag with about 20 bags of gear in "20 bags" he said. I must admit at that point I was very nearly reeled in. But I just told him no in the end, an walked to my mates house.
U don't need people like that do you?
Speak to you soon, Kelly - take care an keep your chin up!(Well try to - I know its hard sum times!)
James
XxX
Me, Today - |:(::::
Sorry to hear 'bout your bad news, I don't really know all that much about hepC so I can't really help you on that one, my friends say that it stays wiv you for your whole life(so thats cheered u up!!) - but it doesn't really change you or affect you in any way - I think thats right anyway - you probably know more than me about it.
I had a bad day too yesterday, I went round to see my little 'n and take him to school(his first day in Junior school) and it ended in a big row in front of Robby, she was calling the police an everything, telling me that I would never see my boy again. It started over me saying that she had slept wiv someone in front of her mate, an that was it then, shhe just started goin mad at me, an then blamed me for upsetting robby - what a load of bull****.
An then to top it all as I was walking off, crying, I went round the square to get some superT's to drown my sorrows, I bumped into a kid who sells skunk, an also a bit of white in the past "J you still do a bit of brown?" he said showing me a money bag with about 20 bags of gear in "20 bags" he said. I must admit at that point I was very nearly reeled in. But I just told him no in the end, an walked to my mates house.
U don't need people like that do you?
Speak to you soon, Kelly - take care an keep your chin up!(Well try to - I know its hard sum times!)
James
XxX
Me, Today - |:(::::