Hi Kim
I was just reading Sharon's thread about the choice to be happy, & what you said hit so close to home for me.
The man I live with at the moment....& that by all accounts will be over in the next few days, probably brings me down more than any human on this earth, 39 years of eveybody is out to get you, I'm worn out from it.........Like you, I just try to see the good in people.....He thinks I'm naive, It all has come to a head for us........Iv'e been sick these last few days, but after finding out something he said to one of my kids about me, it came to blows last night, and he told me to get out.......so, as soon as I feel a little better, I am so gone.....I was going to let every one on the board know anyhow that if you don't hear from me it's because I don't have access to a computer, I Have no idea where i'm going yet, but I deserve to be happier than this, all of us do.......For now I'm in the guest room & haven't been out of it since yesterday....but it's peaceful anyway, your post just let me know I'm not the only one who lives with such negativity.........Thank You
Love Dottie
Dear Dottie,I lived for 10 years with alot of abuse.I finally got the guts up to walk out.That was over 10 years ago,& though being a single mom at times was the hardest job I ever had it was worth it just to be able to live life on my terms.I finally have a great man in my life who would never dream of hurting me.Physically or mentally.Please know you have my full support & if I can help you even if its just to lend an ear Ill be here for you.I know this has happened to you at a time when you are really feeling weak with being sick,but I feel that you will end up with a happy life....mj
Oh, Dottie.. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You don't deserve it. You deserve happiness. He sounds like a miserable person who wants you to feel miserable too. Don't give him that. You are stronger than that. I know it will be tough, but if anyone, and I do mean anyone, can rise above this situation and come out better, it is definitely you.
I'm always around if you need to talk, and I'm not above coming down there to help kick his @ss.
Love you,
DeNae
I'm always around if you need to talk, and I'm not above coming down there to help kick his @ss.
Love you,
DeNae
Dottie,it is so very hard living with a person like that.Im sorry youre going through such a tough time with him right now.Its sad to hear YOU are the one who has to pick up and move out ,i imagine it would be very hard to get him to make the move(if hes anything like my husband,it would be impossible!)Right now im sure youre hurt,scared and yes PISSED OFF.I hope things work out and you find a nice place to go.?Someplace where you are happy.In the end,you will be better off and he will be the one whos sorry,no doubt about it.Please take care and know you arent alone.Take pride in knowing you are the better person and you are the one who is going to move forward and be happy.~KIM
Dottie I also lived a VERY verbally abusive, controlling man...many years ago...took vicodin to drown my sorrows..finally left him...I was flat broke...but it was great!!!! You can do it...you deserve to be happy and certainly a lot of respect...especially being able to get sober...Bless you..we are all here to support you...Love, OWM
Dear DeNae & MJ
Thank you both for your kind words...........This man is a complete class act of stupidity, and I Don't think i'm talking out of school here.......He is a complete control freak, thinks the sun comes up just for him & is the cheapest SOB That ever walked the face of the earth, He is not poor by any means, yet if he's sick, boom he's at the Dr.......If it involves tests, no problem.......Here I am with feet & ankles 3 times the size of what they should be, & it keeps happening but he won't take a dime out of his pocket so I can find out what's wrong, Alway's crying poverty, but he sure isn't poor, I Work at the job I Do only so I Can get health insurance, which so far he is the one who benefits the most,
So far he's had a double by-pass.....aortic anurisim.........part of his colon removed, Plus a sh*tload of other stuff, if he had to pay for any of this......He wouldn't be driving a brand new car or live in the house we live in.
So far my insurance has not kicked in at this job, but in prior jobs his medical bills have probably amounted to about $200,000.00.........Mine, maybe 2,000
Big difference........I Pay for my own car payment, insurance & cell phone bill and I Never ask for a dime, I can't remember the last time I bought myself anything, Yet he's he's so damm cheap I could be dying & it wouldn't matter to him.......I could handle all this, but when he bad mouths me to my kids, that's where I draw the line. This was a horrile fight & I can't forgive him for this, I Loathe people who use their kids in problems that the kids shouldn't even know about much less be brought in the middle of, And now I Have to deal with this with my son, without bad mouthing his father, and thats not going to be easy cuz I would love to tell my son what an @ss his father is, but I won't........I Just want to move the hell out fast, It's terrible but I can't stand the sight of him.
Thanks for letting me vent........I'm just so done with his sh*t
Love Dottie
Thank you both for your kind words...........This man is a complete class act of stupidity, and I Don't think i'm talking out of school here.......He is a complete control freak, thinks the sun comes up just for him & is the cheapest SOB That ever walked the face of the earth, He is not poor by any means, yet if he's sick, boom he's at the Dr.......If it involves tests, no problem.......Here I am with feet & ankles 3 times the size of what they should be, & it keeps happening but he won't take a dime out of his pocket so I can find out what's wrong, Alway's crying poverty, but he sure isn't poor, I Work at the job I Do only so I Can get health insurance, which so far he is the one who benefits the most,
So far he's had a double by-pass.....aortic anurisim.........part of his colon removed, Plus a sh*tload of other stuff, if he had to pay for any of this......He wouldn't be driving a brand new car or live in the house we live in.
So far my insurance has not kicked in at this job, but in prior jobs his medical bills have probably amounted to about $200,000.00.........Mine, maybe 2,000
Big difference........I Pay for my own car payment, insurance & cell phone bill and I Never ask for a dime, I can't remember the last time I bought myself anything, Yet he's he's so damm cheap I could be dying & it wouldn't matter to him.......I could handle all this, but when he bad mouths me to my kids, that's where I draw the line. This was a horrile fight & I can't forgive him for this, I Loathe people who use their kids in problems that the kids shouldn't even know about much less be brought in the middle of, And now I Have to deal with this with my son, without bad mouthing his father, and thats not going to be easy cuz I would love to tell my son what an @ss his father is, but I won't........I Just want to move the hell out fast, It's terrible but I can't stand the sight of him.
Thanks for letting me vent........I'm just so done with his sh*t
Love Dottie
Good Luck
Everything happens for a reason
hope this is a good one for you
Steve
Everything happens for a reason
hope this is a good one for you
Steve
Oh Dottie..I'm so sorry. Please be safe and get access to a computer as soon as you can. What about your kids? Can you stay with them?
I'll be thinking about you.
Love
Lisa
I'll be thinking about you.
Love
Lisa
Dottie,i just want to say,you sound like a wonderful caring mother.Not telling them their father is an a** is very admirable,and such a selfless act,its so hard not to lash out when simebody has hurt you like that.But the truth is...theres no need to tell your children .They are smarter than you think.They know whats going on.Im sure they love their father to death,but they also KNOW him.As they get older they will SEE even more.You take care of you and those wonderful kids.Take care~KIM
Dottie,
I'm sorry you have to go through this while you aren't feeling well. That is really low of him to talk poorly of you to your son. I know how hard it is to bite your tongue to try to keep the kids out of the middle of it. Hopefully your son will see for himself what an a** his dad is being. My oldest is only 13 and I really try to encourage him to show some respect for his dad (even though he doesn't deserve it...mainly just to keep some peace). But he sees his dad pacing the floor...saying terrible things about me if I'm even 5 minutes late from work. He might be young but I tell you...he has more respect for me than he ever will for his dad. He resents him most of the time for the way he treats me and them.
I hope you can find somewhere to go without having to struggle. You deserve to be happy and atleast this way, you have a chance to live in peace. I wish I lived closer...maybe we could just run away together. :) Maybe some of that feistiness would rub off on me! Seriously, I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this. You have my e-mail if you just want to let off some steam. Please keep in touch the best you can. The libraries all have internet access. :)
Take care and feel better soon.
Love,
Jodi
I'm sorry you have to go through this while you aren't feeling well. That is really low of him to talk poorly of you to your son. I know how hard it is to bite your tongue to try to keep the kids out of the middle of it. Hopefully your son will see for himself what an a** his dad is being. My oldest is only 13 and I really try to encourage him to show some respect for his dad (even though he doesn't deserve it...mainly just to keep some peace). But he sees his dad pacing the floor...saying terrible things about me if I'm even 5 minutes late from work. He might be young but I tell you...he has more respect for me than he ever will for his dad. He resents him most of the time for the way he treats me and them.
I hope you can find somewhere to go without having to struggle. You deserve to be happy and atleast this way, you have a chance to live in peace. I wish I lived closer...maybe we could just run away together. :) Maybe some of that feistiness would rub off on me! Seriously, I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this. You have my e-mail if you just want to let off some steam. Please keep in touch the best you can. The libraries all have internet access. :)
Take care and feel better soon.
Love,
Jodi
As addicts it isn't unusual to find ourselves in these types of relationships...for years I was SO co-dependent on a man who did not treat me the way I deserved to be treated..I was using so obviously I had no self-esteem...Without going into all the dreary details...let me just say that I almost died twice due to self-abuse(i.e.overdose) because I was so unhappy...I was terrified to be on my own since my back surgeries and I was a people-pleaser to the max...all I ever got back was criticism and emotional pain..at one point..I wished I was dead..that's when all hell broke loose and my daughter ranaway at 16....I finally left and moved loser to my mother, and we mended our relationship.....learned so much about my own personal power...now I am faced with some new challenges...but being sober(only 8 days) has empowered me enough to know that I can survive through the worst of situations..people look at me and think I live a charmed life..they also think I have all the onfidence in the world...believe me Dottie..I do not.Under all the makeup and outward appearance is a lonely frightened little girl...one who never felt good enough, smart enough or pretty enough...an uncle reinforced that in me by sexually abusing me for years(7-12) So my dear, I know things are hard and I know you don't feel good...but I know you have the inner strength and smarts to live your own life...dump all the negative people out of your life...you are a good person and you deserve to be happy...your friend, Sharonn
Sharonn
Thank You.........I Am in no way scared to live alone, out of the 6 years I Have been in Florida, 4 of those years, I Did live alone, and I Loved it, but When I Lost a good paying job, I was forced to come back here.......He always has the same story, things will be better..ROFLMFAO........an old dog won't learn new tricks......But I had to be grateful to at least have a place to live!
My son that lives in Fl. only knows what his Father tells him, and it's so distorted,but I Just don't want Scott in the middle of this.
Right now the only reason I'm still here is finances, don't make much as a cashier, I Just haven't figured out what to do........His thinking & perception of people is so distorted, that I don't have the strength to argue or fight with this man, I'm still in the guest room & only come out to take care of the dogs, He hasn't even fed them.
I Came out briefly last night & let him know what I thought about his bullsh*t, only to get myself aggravated, I Got no where as usual, so I Just retreated back to my room.........Have to go to work today at 2:00, So even though I'm sick as hell, at least I Get out of here for a while.
Jodi
I Know what you mean, my oldest son was about 16 & dreaded seeing his father walk through the door......I'm Quite sure that's why he joined the Marines and lives in another state now, But I Just can't talk to the kids about this, It is not their cross to bear, they have their own lives & are happy, I will not spoil that, & I sure won't go live with them, somehow I have to figure this out.
Thanks for your understanding, I Know you know what I'm going through
My Love to you all
Love Dottie
Thank You.........I Am in no way scared to live alone, out of the 6 years I Have been in Florida, 4 of those years, I Did live alone, and I Loved it, but When I Lost a good paying job, I was forced to come back here.......He always has the same story, things will be better..ROFLMFAO........an old dog won't learn new tricks......But I had to be grateful to at least have a place to live!
My son that lives in Fl. only knows what his Father tells him, and it's so distorted,but I Just don't want Scott in the middle of this.
Right now the only reason I'm still here is finances, don't make much as a cashier, I Just haven't figured out what to do........His thinking & perception of people is so distorted, that I don't have the strength to argue or fight with this man, I'm still in the guest room & only come out to take care of the dogs, He hasn't even fed them.
I Came out briefly last night & let him know what I thought about his bullsh*t, only to get myself aggravated, I Got no where as usual, so I Just retreated back to my room.........Have to go to work today at 2:00, So even though I'm sick as hell, at least I Get out of here for a while.
Jodi
I Know what you mean, my oldest son was about 16 & dreaded seeing his father walk through the door......I'm Quite sure that's why he joined the Marines and lives in another state now, But I Just can't talk to the kids about this, It is not their cross to bear, they have their own lives & are happy, I will not spoil that, & I sure won't go live with them, somehow I have to figure this out.
Thanks for your understanding, I Know you know what I'm going through
My Love to you all
Love Dottie
