janet
PLEASE PLEASE, dont leave this forum,i need you, you have helped me in so many ways, seeing your struggle with drugs and now the pain and the bi polar.
i would miss you so much, please think about it, maybe its the manic stage right now telling yourself that you dont need to be here????
i am so so sorry a good person like you has to have pain 24/7, it must be just awful.
i know i come on here all the time about meetings and i just wanted to add that i do attend 2x times a week.
i just keep the thought in the back of my head that no one relapses if the program is worked.
i understand what it is like to live in rural ares, my parents took me out of the city life to live in a rural area, i thought i would die, it was such a feeling of isolation, 10 miles to anything!!
i chose to live back in the city life, it was awful trying to drive 20 miles everyday to get to work in some of the most awful snow storms ever!!!! so i understand janet.
i pray that you find relief from your pain.
jeff really cares about you, alot of us here do.
please keep coming back here janet, like i said i need you.... love you jewels
Aw Jewels...honey, I'm in tears again, unfortunately the manic states have me on the verge all the time. It's tough to live with.
Thanks so much for everything you said, you always touch my heart girl.
This board is an addiction with me. Lately it's been pretty unhealthy and I have to think of what is best for me. No I'm not quitting yet. Though I've been throwing the email to the mods to ban me idea around because I can't stop coming on here. I feel bad when I take off on people, like I did Jeff last night, like I've done to Carol a few times. I've been so level headed here for so long and my behavior is I'm sure disturbing to people, it disturbs me, but when I'm manic I say the hell with it and let the fur fly.
I have no doubt that my pain meds affect me, but last night I wrote Jeff what it really feels like to be me, the pain is horrific at times. If I don't take them as prescribed the pain goes into overdrive and then it's harder to get under control. I am at the mercy of my husband bc I can't put the patches on my back by myself, I have to have them removed before my shower and reapplied. I am pigheaded and hate to HAVE to accept help. It get's me angry alot of times that I am reduced to this. If you could have seen me ten years ago I was vital and alive, an exercise junkie, size 8, now I'm heavy and can't do the simple things without unreal pain. Some days it's miserable to remember how I was.
We all want to feel accepted, I don't care who you are, it's human nature. I've been hurting seeing some of the stuff that Sabrina has had to listen to. No, I promise that I don't blow sunshine up her butt. I've been telling her honestly for months that if she continues down the road she has been that she will die. This is what friends are for. I also give her unconditional love and support. That's what she needs. We've cried on each others shoulders, laughed like there was no tomorrow, shared our pain and sorrows...we are friends and we love each other.
Anyway, I have got to hit the red X because I have to get things going, have to do groceries and bring my son to a party.
Just know honey, how much I appreciate you, bc you are one of the good ones...a good egg for sure.
I love you!
Thanks so much for everything you said, you always touch my heart girl.
This board is an addiction with me. Lately it's been pretty unhealthy and I have to think of what is best for me. No I'm not quitting yet. Though I've been throwing the email to the mods to ban me idea around because I can't stop coming on here. I feel bad when I take off on people, like I did Jeff last night, like I've done to Carol a few times. I've been so level headed here for so long and my behavior is I'm sure disturbing to people, it disturbs me, but when I'm manic I say the hell with it and let the fur fly.
I have no doubt that my pain meds affect me, but last night I wrote Jeff what it really feels like to be me, the pain is horrific at times. If I don't take them as prescribed the pain goes into overdrive and then it's harder to get under control. I am at the mercy of my husband bc I can't put the patches on my back by myself, I have to have them removed before my shower and reapplied. I am pigheaded and hate to HAVE to accept help. It get's me angry alot of times that I am reduced to this. If you could have seen me ten years ago I was vital and alive, an exercise junkie, size 8, now I'm heavy and can't do the simple things without unreal pain. Some days it's miserable to remember how I was.
We all want to feel accepted, I don't care who you are, it's human nature. I've been hurting seeing some of the stuff that Sabrina has had to listen to. No, I promise that I don't blow sunshine up her butt. I've been telling her honestly for months that if she continues down the road she has been that she will die. This is what friends are for. I also give her unconditional love and support. That's what she needs. We've cried on each others shoulders, laughed like there was no tomorrow, shared our pain and sorrows...we are friends and we love each other.
Anyway, I have got to hit the red X because I have to get things going, have to do groceries and bring my son to a party.
Just know honey, how much I appreciate you, bc you are one of the good ones...a good egg for sure.
I love you!
Hey Ms J....Huny you can write the Mods & ask them to ban you from posting & allow you only to read.I know for awhile before I got lost in the drug haze again...some post were really good for me to read through & the post that I felt myself wanting to react...good,bad,indifferent,I couldnt post so it gave me time to finally be able to say....Does this post ACTUALLY directly effect my life that I MUST react to it?
Like I said before the drug haze there were some post from new & old members that made me think as I read them.
I love you Janet & at least until Monday Im a email or phone call away ok?
Love Sabrina
Like I said before the drug haze there were some post from new & old members that made me think as I read them.
I love you Janet & at least until Monday Im a email or phone call away ok?
Love Sabrina
janet...
jewels....
mj.....
what is going on?
why does this happen....
close friends....brought together by a common demonitor..........
we have been placed in one anothers life , because we UNDERSTAND...
we have at some point been in each others shoes ....
some r in recovery some r not..........
does it matter.........no.
we should never judge one another....
that is not our job...we are here to lift one another up...
what happened...to the bond of friendship and being a confidiant....
please dont let confusion ....divide and conquere.......
sorry i cant spell.
God bless you all............
Janet....u have never done anything to hurt me....
u have always been kind and understanding with me...and you to Mj....
life is to short....always forgive and forgive...
if one of us died...I know all you all could not remember one negative thing...
and thats why we must forgive and forgive......
and pick one another up when one of us falls.............
thank you for your time...........
thumper
jewels....
mj.....
what is going on?
why does this happen....
close friends....brought together by a common demonitor..........
we have been placed in one anothers life , because we UNDERSTAND...
we have at some point been in each others shoes ....
some r in recovery some r not..........
does it matter.........no.
we should never judge one another....
that is not our job...we are here to lift one another up...
what happened...to the bond of friendship and being a confidiant....
please dont let confusion ....divide and conquere.......
sorry i cant spell.
God bless you all............
Janet....u have never done anything to hurt me....
u have always been kind and understanding with me...and you to Mj....
life is to short....always forgive and forgive...
if one of us died...I know all you all could not remember one negative thing...
and thats why we must forgive and forgive......
and pick one another up when one of us falls.............
thank you for your time...........
thumper