..How are you..
..I read wot you said on the families board to me..i've never done an inpatient detox or been to any rehabs..but a lot of my ex using aquaintences ( i know theres no friends in heroin) who have done them..i don,t know one of them that has stayed off heroin since coming out of them..it's a vicious circle..i know it's up to the addict to stay clean..but once those rehab doors close behind them..they,re on their own..there ain,t much follow up help..it does seem nowadays people have to commit a crime to get wot they're looking for regarding help with their addictions and homelessness..it's really hard for a single person to get a flat down here aswell..they have to have mental issues or be a drug addict or they have no chance of getting accomadation..but if they go out and commit a crime..they're spend a little time inside maybe..they,re get more help than the normal person who's trying to better themself without turning to crime..im quite lucky down here thou..if i did get back into heroin and wanted treatment for my addiction after a while..i could get back into a treatment programme withing 4-6 weeks..but i know its not like that everywhere..hows your man doing at the moment ?..hope all is well..take care..Robbie..
..He's a character murinho..he is know to liverpool fans as > ssshhhhhhh<thou ain,t he lol..could,nt believe wot happened to our 2 goalies at reading..never ever seen that before ?..
( i know theres no friends in heroin)
Robbie,
Sorry to cut in...but i liked what you said about there being no friends in heroin....or as they say....there is no honor among thieves..
My ex bf repeatedly has shunned my company..(now forever)..in the six years that i have known him to be with his ex using buddies...funny how he never deleted their phone numbers from his book in even his periods of self-proclaimed but bogus so so sobriety.
Funny thing...is when the 'light of the law' shines upon them...these so called friends...including the ex bf will scurry to their respective dark corners like cockroaches...with nary a thought for their other pals...concentrating on their own means of escape.
That thing you mentioned about sometimes you have to commit a crime just to get some help....well the ex bf narrowly escaped doing some long time for trafficking (he 'narced' on his using buddy to get a reduced sentence)..but he will go to his meetings cause he has to get his little book signed and can pass his UAs down to a science...but he continues to hang out with the friends he used to cop from and do heroin with but of course he is only smoking weed (and he ain't supposed to be doing that!!!).
Just feeling sorry for myself....yesterday was my Birthday and he didn't even call...guess he was too busy with the 'biz nez'....6 years of an intimacy spent with him....but it is like i never have existed...but the H boyz are forever...
MARY
Robbie,
Sorry to cut in...but i liked what you said about there being no friends in heroin....or as they say....there is no honor among thieves..
My ex bf repeatedly has shunned my company..(now forever)..in the six years that i have known him to be with his ex using buddies...funny how he never deleted their phone numbers from his book in even his periods of self-proclaimed but bogus so so sobriety.
Funny thing...is when the 'light of the law' shines upon them...these so called friends...including the ex bf will scurry to their respective dark corners like cockroaches...with nary a thought for their other pals...concentrating on their own means of escape.
That thing you mentioned about sometimes you have to commit a crime just to get some help....well the ex bf narrowly escaped doing some long time for trafficking (he 'narced' on his using buddy to get a reduced sentence)..but he will go to his meetings cause he has to get his little book signed and can pass his UAs down to a science...but he continues to hang out with the friends he used to cop from and do heroin with but of course he is only smoking weed (and he ain't supposed to be doing that!!!).
Just feeling sorry for myself....yesterday was my Birthday and he didn't even call...guess he was too busy with the 'biz nez'....6 years of an intimacy spent with him....but it is like i never have existed...but the H boyz are forever...
MARY
..Mary..
..Ask an addict wud they rather spend time at home with their wife/gf-husband/bf or spend time with their so called friends doing drugs..i think you know the answer..i dunno wot to say to be honest mary regarding your ex b/f..cos i know how selfish an addict can be..i was the same when i was in active addiction..he won,t change until he wants to change..i know you know that.. ?..take care mary..happy birthday for the other day..Robbie..
..Ask an addict wud they rather spend time at home with their wife/gf-husband/bf or spend time with their so called friends doing drugs..i think you know the answer..i dunno wot to say to be honest mary regarding your ex b/f..cos i know how selfish an addict can be..i was the same when i was in active addiction..he won,t change until he wants to change..i know you know that.. ?..take care mary..happy birthday for the other day..Robbie..
HIJACKER.............selfish addict butting in.......hey you guys what's good?
If I was using and Marky Mark called me to say he wanted a date I'd tell him to stuff it unless he had alot of dope.......heroin was my best friend, and my family..........I didn't need no friends to be with me either.....just me and my heroin.............I missed my own child's milestones......weddings.....family functions.............no honor among addicts......no no.
Ummmm, if she pops back on ask Tres........ask Tres if we did not lie to eachother, and slickly steal from eachother.........and we grew up together.
We were not raised to be liars or thieves......but when heroin was there.....I would have beat her butt down in the street for a bag....LOL.....she thinks she could take me........pffffffffffffffff.........LOL..........for that dope maybe she could have.............she is a peacenick........hippie type peaced out broad.
One time we were light on loot......and each of us wanted more....we was waiting on the man.........she said something smart, and I go "Oh yeah and I'll take your bag"..........she told me get out of the car and she'd fight me.....now that would be a comedy........bottom line is dope/heroin comes first.
Oh, and if we're high........we like to be alone so nobody messes with our high.
If i wanna nod........I do not want to be swatted full nod in the head.....which man oh man that ticked my mom off the most.....the nod.....then again getting slapped full front on in the head I just about felt.....yepper....heroin over people.
If I was using and Marky Mark called me to say he wanted a date I'd tell him to stuff it unless he had alot of dope.......heroin was my best friend, and my family..........I didn't need no friends to be with me either.....just me and my heroin.............I missed my own child's milestones......weddings.....family functions.............no honor among addicts......no no.
Ummmm, if she pops back on ask Tres........ask Tres if we did not lie to eachother, and slickly steal from eachother.........and we grew up together.
We were not raised to be liars or thieves......but when heroin was there.....I would have beat her butt down in the street for a bag....LOL.....she thinks she could take me........pffffffffffffffff.........LOL..........for that dope maybe she could have.............she is a peacenick........hippie type peaced out broad.
One time we were light on loot......and each of us wanted more....we was waiting on the man.........she said something smart, and I go "Oh yeah and I'll take your bag"..........she told me get out of the car and she'd fight me.....now that would be a comedy........bottom line is dope/heroin comes first.
Oh, and if we're high........we like to be alone so nobody messes with our high.
If i wanna nod........I do not want to be swatted full nod in the head.....which man oh man that ticked my mom off the most.....the nod.....then again getting slapped full front on in the head I just about felt.....yepper....heroin over people.
Robbie,
I am good a bit hacked off that the red scum have just beat us 2 -0 but when we have a manager who has fielded a different side for the last 66 games what can you expect. I think you can mix and match up front or even in midfield but if your defence doesn't play together then they aren't solid and our defence was really poor today. I think Rafa should take some responsibility but it still hurts to be beaten by Alex's lot I think the Spanish one will be getting some well deserve stick midweek.
Detox we've been round and round talking about this one for ages it's a real moneymaking thing at the moment like care for the elderly was in the 80s early nineties. Get them in get their pension of them bugger all medical help no quality control make loads of money. Now addicts are the new thing to make money from anyone can set upa private clinic, get them in get their housing benefit and other benefits bugger all medical help no quality control make loads of money - addict leaves usually clean but homeless and with now follow up and because he's got clean too quick and not done the head work he's back on the gear you're right a vicious circle..
I've just posted on the families board to bette cuz people think if they pay a lot they will get the best care and it just doesn't work like that plus you can't buy someone else clean. The situation my man is in is that he's afraid to detox because he could be worse off in 6 months like all those crash diets where the people just end up fatter 6 months on. If he gets back into the gear it's a several month wait to get onto a methadone programme again and he's cut down loads because of the methadone.
The man is doing good really - Down from a gram a day (20 bag) down to a low dose 2mg methadone daily IV + small bag brown (half a gram) twice a week.
Have you heard the song about Murinho - brilliant from Joseph and his Technicolour dreamcoat - really funny hope Reading beat Arsenal but the probably won't.
I am good a bit hacked off that the red scum have just beat us 2 -0 but when we have a manager who has fielded a different side for the last 66 games what can you expect. I think you can mix and match up front or even in midfield but if your defence doesn't play together then they aren't solid and our defence was really poor today. I think Rafa should take some responsibility but it still hurts to be beaten by Alex's lot I think the Spanish one will be getting some well deserve stick midweek.
Detox we've been round and round talking about this one for ages it's a real moneymaking thing at the moment like care for the elderly was in the 80s early nineties. Get them in get their pension of them bugger all medical help no quality control make loads of money. Now addicts are the new thing to make money from anyone can set upa private clinic, get them in get their housing benefit and other benefits bugger all medical help no quality control make loads of money - addict leaves usually clean but homeless and with now follow up and because he's got clean too quick and not done the head work he's back on the gear you're right a vicious circle..
I've just posted on the families board to bette cuz people think if they pay a lot they will get the best care and it just doesn't work like that plus you can't buy someone else clean. The situation my man is in is that he's afraid to detox because he could be worse off in 6 months like all those crash diets where the people just end up fatter 6 months on. If he gets back into the gear it's a several month wait to get onto a methadone programme again and he's cut down loads because of the methadone.
The man is doing good really - Down from a gram a day (20 bag) down to a low dose 2mg methadone daily IV + small bag brown (half a gram) twice a week.
Have you heard the song about Murinho - brilliant from Joseph and his Technicolour dreamcoat - really funny hope Reading beat Arsenal but the probably won't.
..Jazwan..
..Hows things..it seems to me that benitez is a good cup manager but can,t get it right in the prem..wass he doing playing gerrard out on the right aswell as all the changing every week ??..I don,t believe if you pay more you get better treatment either..at the end of the day..no matter how good the treatment and care is..its down to the addict to stop..being behind closed doors for a few weeks or months might be ok for the time that they,re there..but once they,re back on the street..its then that they,re gonna see if the money for the treatment has worked ? theres no guaruntees in drug addiction ?..nahhh i ain,t heard the new murinho song..i don,t go football anymore jazwan..but i don,t even know the technicolour dreamcoat song anyway lol..oh well..when you walk thru the storm..hold your head up high..and don,t be afraid of the dark ;- )..i know that one..but im old school lol..take care jazwan..Robbie..
..Hows things..it seems to me that benitez is a good cup manager but can,t get it right in the prem..wass he doing playing gerrard out on the right aswell as all the changing every week ??..I don,t believe if you pay more you get better treatment either..at the end of the day..no matter how good the treatment and care is..its down to the addict to stop..being behind closed doors for a few weeks or months might be ok for the time that they,re there..but once they,re back on the street..its then that they,re gonna see if the money for the treatment has worked ? theres no guaruntees in drug addiction ?..nahhh i ain,t heard the new murinho song..i don,t go football anymore jazwan..but i don,t even know the technicolour dreamcoat song anyway lol..oh well..when you walk thru the storm..hold your head up high..and don,t be afraid of the dark ;- )..i know that one..but im old school lol..take care jazwan..Robbie..
Oh Yeah the dope "friends"-
If you had a car that worked ,you were my friend.
If you got your monthly check,you were my friend.
If I needed someone to return stolen merchandice because I was to well known- I found a" friend "to do it
etc.. etc.. ect...
Thats one of the main things I realized quick and regret the most. The true friends I had ,all disappeared when they saw that my behavior was getting worse and I had no problem lying about it.
Some years later, a few have touched base with me again,some showed up at my Dads wake, some have called maybe out of couriosity. I really had good close friends before heroin. But- They soon realized that they didnt want to be around a person ,who didnt respect them enough to curb the criminal behavior when together.
I regret that I fuc**ed up and lost the friendships that were a big part of my life.
Even the few that were rekindeld arent the same.
You make whatever amends you can. Try and explain the horrors of an addiction- and live with the results.
peace&respect
jack
Im sorry I forget what the original topic was about-
If you had a car that worked ,you were my friend.
If you got your monthly check,you were my friend.
If I needed someone to return stolen merchandice because I was to well known- I found a" friend "to do it
etc.. etc.. ect...
Thats one of the main things I realized quick and regret the most. The true friends I had ,all disappeared when they saw that my behavior was getting worse and I had no problem lying about it.
Some years later, a few have touched base with me again,some showed up at my Dads wake, some have called maybe out of couriosity. I really had good close friends before heroin. But- They soon realized that they didnt want to be around a person ,who didnt respect them enough to curb the criminal behavior when together.
I regret that I fuc**ed up and lost the friendships that were a big part of my life.
Even the few that were rekindeld arent the same.
You make whatever amends you can. Try and explain the horrors of an addiction- and live with the results.
peace&respect
jack
Im sorry I forget what the original topic was about-
Hi People
Jack how is it going with you?
Very true what you say smack friends are no friends my bloke has in the main got many of his real mates back on side since he cleaned up his act, it's his family that he's lost they can't forgive and can't understand.
Robbie - Old School, a lot of old school here - so integrity and friendship goes a long way and you get back what you put in for others which is my blokes religion. I'm not so sure seems a lot of bad folks who do terrible things don't seem to get their payback.
Going to the Everton Bolton match which will be like walking through a storm - have you ever been to Everton it's like going back to the dark ages when dinosaurs kicked eggs around. He says it's the people's club Anfield is all mobile phones and designer clothes mmm.
He's going to try no chipping from next week - it ain't going to be pretty.
k
Jack how is it going with you?
Very true what you say smack friends are no friends my bloke has in the main got many of his real mates back on side since he cleaned up his act, it's his family that he's lost they can't forgive and can't understand.
Robbie - Old School, a lot of old school here - so integrity and friendship goes a long way and you get back what you put in for others which is my blokes religion. I'm not so sure seems a lot of bad folks who do terrible things don't seem to get their payback.
Going to the Everton Bolton match which will be like walking through a storm - have you ever been to Everton it's like going back to the dark ages when dinosaurs kicked eggs around. He says it's the people's club Anfield is all mobile phones and designer clothes mmm.
He's going to try no chipping from next week - it ain't going to be pretty.
k
..Jazwan..
..Nahh i,ve never been to goodison..i,ve been anfield (85..lost 4-3.great game thou)..i suppose everyone deals with their addiction in their own way..i know wot its like to have a habit and not be on a script..it were,nt good waking up sick and having to run round looking for gear or juice if there were,nt no gear about (that was in my early days of addiction..i wised up after a while to make sure i got on a script for back up)..i see benitez was at it again last night ( 9 changes lol ).i know it was the carling cup but i can,t see him sticking with that side for the weekend ?..hope all goes ok for ya man next week..it never is pretty jaz..take care..Robbie..
..Nahh i,ve never been to goodison..i,ve been anfield (85..lost 4-3.great game thou)..i suppose everyone deals with their addiction in their own way..i know wot its like to have a habit and not be on a script..it were,nt good waking up sick and having to run round looking for gear or juice if there were,nt no gear about (that was in my early days of addiction..i wised up after a while to make sure i got on a script for back up)..i see benitez was at it again last night ( 9 changes lol ).i know it was the carling cup but i can,t see him sticking with that side for the weekend ?..hope all goes ok for ya man next week..it never is pretty jaz..take care..Robbie..
I gotta hijack in as well....
I am sitting reading this with a bunch of questions running in my head....
There are no running buddies. I find it so odd, way odd.
There was him and the corner, depending on who had what he was the man of that minute....
And all them so called normal friends, are still here, were here through it all, even in the times he tried to push them away ( they were like this fugus he really needed hanging around, engaging him). I am not shocked that the family stayed strong and didn't go nutty to much and run. I am though very shocked that the friends didn't run. That they thought nothing to say hey we are having a bbq, or the baby is having a birthday, come over.....
I guess you can kinda know the value of your friends if they stop by when you are in wd to see how you are.....
I tell him that all the time, can't help it! lol
Years and years ago, teen years there were running buddies. Sadly none of them are here anymore, no one he thinks. How sad, how truly sad. I always thought it was a loner thing that he used always alone. But now reading this I wonder if it was that he couldn't watch anyone like him die again.....
Everyone have a great day,
Love,
Tina
I am sitting reading this with a bunch of questions running in my head....
There are no running buddies. I find it so odd, way odd.
There was him and the corner, depending on who had what he was the man of that minute....
And all them so called normal friends, are still here, were here through it all, even in the times he tried to push them away ( they were like this fugus he really needed hanging around, engaging him). I am not shocked that the family stayed strong and didn't go nutty to much and run. I am though very shocked that the friends didn't run. That they thought nothing to say hey we are having a bbq, or the baby is having a birthday, come over.....
I guess you can kinda know the value of your friends if they stop by when you are in wd to see how you are.....
I tell him that all the time, can't help it! lol
Years and years ago, teen years there were running buddies. Sadly none of them are here anymore, no one he thinks. How sad, how truly sad. I always thought it was a loner thing that he used always alone. But now reading this I wonder if it was that he couldn't watch anyone like him die again.....
Everyone have a great day,
Love,
Tina
..Tina..
..Nice to see your post..how are ya..my friends who i grew up with..went to school with..went to work with a few of them..had great nights out with..even used to thief with (we could rely on each other if things came on top)..heroin took all that and the closeness we had away..it turned us into selfish f****** who was only interested wot the other had..when we sat and smoked we would talk non stop about stuff..when there was nuffin around to smoke..there was hardly any convasation..just nonsense talk or talk about drugs..it took the person outta me and replaced it with sumone who was just existing in life..i said earlier that theres no friends in heroin..but people could also say that about me..i used people for wot they had or wot i could get off them..then the friends i had who never touched heroin..we went our own ways..no one wants a heroin addict in their company especially if your a known heroin addict in your part of the city..its embarrasing for them to be seen talking to a junkie..and even thou im clean now.you can still see it in peoples eyes that they think your using still and that still creates a barrier that could never be broken down..hope everythings ok with you all..take care tina..Robbie..
..Edited to say..i heard a song the other day called crazy baby by joan osborne..just wanted to know if you heard it..i was watching a film about a women who was a heroin addict and she was going thru w/ds as the song was playing..
..Nice to see your post..how are ya..my friends who i grew up with..went to school with..went to work with a few of them..had great nights out with..even used to thief with (we could rely on each other if things came on top)..heroin took all that and the closeness we had away..it turned us into selfish f****** who was only interested wot the other had..when we sat and smoked we would talk non stop about stuff..when there was nuffin around to smoke..there was hardly any convasation..just nonsense talk or talk about drugs..it took the person outta me and replaced it with sumone who was just existing in life..i said earlier that theres no friends in heroin..but people could also say that about me..i used people for wot they had or wot i could get off them..then the friends i had who never touched heroin..we went our own ways..no one wants a heroin addict in their company especially if your a known heroin addict in your part of the city..its embarrasing for them to be seen talking to a junkie..and even thou im clean now.you can still see it in peoples eyes that they think your using still and that still creates a barrier that could never be broken down..hope everythings ok with you all..take care tina..Robbie..
..Edited to say..i heard a song the other day called crazy baby by joan osborne..just wanted to know if you heard it..i was watching a film about a women who was a heroin addict and she was going thru w/ds as the song was playing..
Tina,
Just a thought all the normal buddies were(are) they never been users themselves cuz I don't know inviting the addict round, either that or it was you and they knew everything was okay because you were there. We had some of that I get invited and then the pause of course bring xxxxx with you.
Oh Robbie that look in the eyes I hate it a mix of feeling sorry for him thinking they're above him and plain fear because there but for the Grace of God go them -that's how it goes here.
Life without chipping, he's moving in with me for six weeks. I've said no promises and no lies if he can he can if he fails that's okay he's chipping about 20 worth a week so he's going to half it, then go for none - dealer is supportive because he's trying to get clean as well - someone explain the madness of that.
Raffa our beloved manager is under investigation from our Board today who are questioning his tactics. Robbie Fowler scored wednesday we love Robbie because he grew up on mean streets and has been down this very same path and come back from hell.
Just a thought all the normal buddies were(are) they never been users themselves cuz I don't know inviting the addict round, either that or it was you and they knew everything was okay because you were there. We had some of that I get invited and then the pause of course bring xxxxx with you.
Oh Robbie that look in the eyes I hate it a mix of feeling sorry for him thinking they're above him and plain fear because there but for the Grace of God go them -that's how it goes here.
Life without chipping, he's moving in with me for six weeks. I've said no promises and no lies if he can he can if he fails that's okay he's chipping about 20 worth a week so he's going to half it, then go for none - dealer is supportive because he's trying to get clean as well - someone explain the madness of that.
Raffa our beloved manager is under investigation from our Board today who are questioning his tactics. Robbie Fowler scored wednesday we love Robbie because he grew up on mean streets and has been down this very same path and come back from hell.
Morning Robbie.....
I so look at everything weird. I can't fathom seeing someone for just a junkie. It never works in my head. I always said if all anyone sees is an addict then honestly what would they expect to have in front of them.
It all becomes in the end really something that many can't imagine....
Things are good here. I hope they are there as well.
Lots going on with 2 in high school. They are like the social queens. I wish the one would get her permit for driving. I swear the hubby and are banks and taxi cabs.....
I have a cool picture from last weekend. I will send it out....
Mommy and Daddy made some beautiful kids together!
You have a great day!
Love,
Tina
Edit for Jazwan.....
I don't know. I really don't know at all why it is like this here. I can't be me, as there are things like the drag races, fishing, and such that I am not a part of. Most actually call him on the cell and say hey this is up, come over. Then call me later to see if he remembered....lol
It is odd, very odd. One of those quesitons with no answers....
I so look at everything weird. I can't fathom seeing someone for just a junkie. It never works in my head. I always said if all anyone sees is an addict then honestly what would they expect to have in front of them.
It all becomes in the end really something that many can't imagine....
Things are good here. I hope they are there as well.
Lots going on with 2 in high school. They are like the social queens. I wish the one would get her permit for driving. I swear the hubby and are banks and taxi cabs.....
I have a cool picture from last weekend. I will send it out....
Mommy and Daddy made some beautiful kids together!
You have a great day!
Love,
Tina
Edit for Jazwan.....
I don't know. I really don't know at all why it is like this here. I can't be me, as there are things like the drag races, fishing, and such that I am not a part of. Most actually call him on the cell and say hey this is up, come over. Then call me later to see if he remembered....lol
It is odd, very odd. One of those quesitons with no answers....
..Jazwan..
..I can,t explain the madness meslf..never heard of a dealer being supportive..strange world we live in lol..Addiction,wot suckers we were to put our lives in the hands of a drug to be able to get thru the days..i sit back at times and think wtf was i doing wasting all those years..chipping was the way i got off it..meth and then subs did,nt work for me..they helped keep me straight but not to stay off it all together..plus if ya can,t stay off the brown,meth or subs..ya just creating 2 habits..i wish him well..i like fowler..you can always rely on him to get ya a few goals here and there..he was one of the best in his prime second to shearer i,d say (sorry lol)..we had all that tinkering as they say with raneari..our top scorer wud score a hat trick one week and be dropped the next (hasslebaink)..be interesting to see the outcome of that meeting benitez is having..
..Tina..
..Yeah thats the attitude most people have over here..i,d go as far as to say a heroin or crack addict is considered scum..but if ya sniff cocaine its ok ??..all other drugs are ok aswell in their eyes..just heroin and crack they don,t wanna be associated with..well its like that where i live..
..You both have a good weekend wotever ya doing..Robbie..
..I can,t explain the madness meslf..never heard of a dealer being supportive..strange world we live in lol..Addiction,wot suckers we were to put our lives in the hands of a drug to be able to get thru the days..i sit back at times and think wtf was i doing wasting all those years..chipping was the way i got off it..meth and then subs did,nt work for me..they helped keep me straight but not to stay off it all together..plus if ya can,t stay off the brown,meth or subs..ya just creating 2 habits..i wish him well..i like fowler..you can always rely on him to get ya a few goals here and there..he was one of the best in his prime second to shearer i,d say (sorry lol)..we had all that tinkering as they say with raneari..our top scorer wud score a hat trick one week and be dropped the next (hasslebaink)..be interesting to see the outcome of that meeting benitez is having..
..Tina..
..Yeah thats the attitude most people have over here..i,d go as far as to say a heroin or crack addict is considered scum..but if ya sniff cocaine its ok ??..all other drugs are ok aswell in their eyes..just heroin and crack they don,t wanna be associated with..well its like that where i live..
..You both have a good weekend wotever ya doing..Robbie..
Have a good weekend everyon
Robbie,
I'm working then off to Blackpool illuminations to freeze to death in the wind and rain.
Tina,
Take care I'll e-mail you did you manage to get that film?
k
Robbie,
I'm working then off to Blackpool illuminations to freeze to death in the wind and rain.
Tina,
Take care I'll e-mail you did you manage to get that film?
k
