joann and others
I just read your post under the Narcotics Anonymous thread... Well I had to smile to myself as I read it... I found myself thinking back to my first NA meeting... and I must say what you wrote was me up one side and down the other... I guess I thought that there was suppossed to be two separate meetings for the 'hard core' addicts and us less 'hard' addicts.. that is to say the ones of us that only use prescription drugs ..not the really hard ones or get them off the street... I thought I was different or special...I guess I was quite the elitist... I was a snob... (I not saying you are... but I was...lol ) I sat there in my first meeting being really nice and sweet and shy and all the while thinking well this one is probably homeless and this one is a convict.. and so on and so on.....
Then I said the same type of intro that you did... my name is teresa and I am a prescription drug addict... I got them from my doctor from an accident and ect....
I went on about 5 min... about how I never bought off the street and how I never smoked anything or done any needles... and then some old timer in the back lite up my world... lol... he said... we dont care that you didnt buy from the street... or that you dont use needles.. he said ... we are all here for the same reason... are lives are not manageable and are controled by the use of drugs... he reminded me that I had lost in 1 year of using what it took most street addicts 5 years to lose... he drove home the fact that I was an addict and that there was no distinction to be made.. we are all the same... we are just on different rungs on the same latter... some of us are on the way up out of the pit ... and some are on the way down... some dont know which direction they are headed... but we are all the same no matter what are DOC is.. or where we get it...
It would be comforting to think that we are special or different if those of us that dont us needles are special but the fact is we arent we are just as sick as the next addict ... the only thing that separates us is if we can put recovering in from of the word addict... and to do that we cant get around the fact that there is certain work that has to be done and we have to do it together....
just my thoughts this morning...
thanks for listening..
Teresa
Hey Theresa, so nicely said I can't think of a single word to add. So......excellent post!! Love you, Kat
thank you..
can you chat? I am in common room...
nice to see you.... hope all is well...
love ya
Teresa..
can you chat? I am in common room...
nice to see you.... hope all is well...
love ya
Teresa..
Give me ten minutes, I have to throw a load of clothes in the dryer, lol. Love, Kat
Hey Theresa, sorry I got distracted by the hubby. I'm there now if you are around. Love, Kat
Before I found the Internet, I was trying to figure out how and where to buy off the street. If I'd known a convenient source, I'm sure I would have. I don't think buying drugs on the street is lower on the ladder than what I did, though. I mean I was willing to I lie in order to obtain a prescription or steal in rder to obtain somebody else's prescribed meds. To me, that seems lower on the ol' morality scale than simply buying off the street. M.
I did it all, Dr. hopped, bought off the street and stole pills. Buying off the street is expensive, lol. I never thought there was a difference in being an addict due to the way you obtained pills. I happen to be very crafty and street smart, lol, so my addiction took me to places I never thought I would go. Downtown Los Angeles is not a pretty place. I was down there, company car and Armani suit to boot, ex cheerleader. I'm glad I don't feel different than other addicts. I feel right at home in the rooms. No matter how far down the scale you have gone...
Rachel
Rachel
Hey Rachel, I can relate to some of what you wrote. And isn't it a social thing too? It amazed me after I quit how much my life revolved not only around pills but those who took them also (or sold, traded, whatever...) I had "buddies" on every economic level. Some were very bright, funny, smart, not so smart...you name it. I guess that's one reason I wasn't very judgemental in meetings. Ultimatly, we all have the same disease, it just took some further than others. Love, Kat
Rachel ( good morining, girly) is right. I always felt lucky becuause I never had to face serious consequences, only losing my soul because of my addiction. Dressed up, or street dirty, this disease will still take you to dark places to obtain what you need.
In fact, I think it is often harder for pres. addicts to admit the disease because it is given to us by "proffessionals..." Now how can we be addicts if they are handed out by elite and educated members of society??
Teresa is right.
It is the same thing.
I know damn well that if I don't get a grip now, or should I chose to go out, I know in my soul that this is it. My last chance. If I don't arrest it now, you will find me completely lost somewhere ina short time with a needle in my arm. And I have never even done H.
They call those the "yets." Meaning, "I haven't done that yet." I crossed alot of yets, but I know I have a lot more to go.
Peace back at you,
Kerry
Kerry -- love that 'fro!
Guys, if you had looked at me two years ago, you would NEVER believe I could be an addict. I've had 20+ years of extreme fortune, I've run multi-billion dollar companies, I am VERY well known in my industry..what happens is this disease creeps up on you before you realize it..and then you are sunk..and we all search for a way out..
Thanks none....I am going to SFAA now...I have completely gone overboard now..lol...Smiley Face Addicts Anonymous...LOL
Hey Kerry..........LMAO.......isn't this how I left the board last night.......
Kerry- Dont MAKE me add the smileys to my post... (btw, like the 'fro too)
Sorry, tina, I think that i am over the edge..
You just went all to pieces..................Oh s*** I can't stop laughing!
Danny, addiction doesn't descriminate. It is sad, it can take the best people and make them do horrible things. Money has nothing to do with it. In fact, I think it is easier for people who hit complete bottoms to make it because the longer we ride in the middle of our bottoms, the longer it takes to fully concede to our innermost selves that we need to find another way...
Kerry, and the problem is people who have never gone through it simply don't understand it..I was one of them..until it hit me..and it can hit ANYONE
Danny, that honestly is why I am here. I couldn't understand how I got so far gone on the vics. It kicked my a**, hard. I remember being almost incapable because of withdrawls...and I was scared to death with kids to take care of and noone to help.....
It is insidious. I would never wish that on anyone. I honestly want something to take me out of me all the time, still, but I have to learn to live another way...
Kerry
It is insidious. I would never wish that on anyone. I honestly want something to take me out of me all the time, still, but I have to learn to live another way...
Kerry
I know about the help stuff. My wife has not been terrific through all of this (although she thinks she has), but she has her own addiction problems she has simply not realized yet.
