hello everyone
i posted last week that i had a fight with my sponsor and have taken everyones advice that she and i are not a good fit....
i am in prayer right now that the Holy Spirit guide and direct me to my new sponsor. i saw her last night at NA and you could feel the tension in the air between us but i smiled at her , she smiled back, she shared, i listened wholeheartedly, i shared she did the same respect for me, we talked after the meeting and i want to keep it as a just friends situtation now.
the members asked me to go out to eat and i was like no,i have too much to do for the holiday i am behind, well they wouldnt take no for an answer, they were like you had time to do drugs so get your butt in the car and we will meet you at the restaurant. so that was nice of them and i enjoyed it.
yesterday was a busy one, saw my counselor and discussed my sponsor woes and my holiday stress, she told me that it is so hard for an addict to go thru their first holiday clean and that is exactly what i am going thru, but thank God to the special people i have connected with on this board they have put me on the right track... thank you girls so much for that. thumper called me today and it was my first phone conversation with someone from this forum, it was really nice and my phone anxiety lifted a little today.
i saw the chiropractor for some unexpected back pain i have been having, he is seeing me every 2 or 3 days for that, i worked on my feet from 8 am until 6 pm cutting hair at the nursing home on monday and my back pain was so unbearable, it only bothers me when i do hair. he said it is the angle of leaning forward that bothers people in my profession when i am cutting hair, and i never realized that there is a lot of lifting and moving chairs ( the beauty chair) to accomadate every resident who are in wheel chairs. it takes a good 20 min to get them from their room down this LONG corridor to the beauty shop and then get them seated comfortably. i do like working there the residents are so sweet, they need me and i need them.
then i went to a meeting last night.
today is a day i have been looking forward to as there is only only one thing on the calendar to do!!!!! go to church and practice for my Christmas eve bell performance. we have dinner at the church before all the practices begin for choir, bell choir, brass ensemble, childrens choir etc. i enjoy that social/dinner time with my church family and then i do the knitting ministry with my friends for about a half hour before bell practice start, the girls have taught me how to knit, they have made so many blankets and lap robes for the sick, shut in and college students in our congregation.
i think i will go to kohl's after bells end at 7:30 pm and finish my Christmas shopping cuz kohls is open til midnight.
my boys have gotton a good start on the holiday cookies they love so much. Christmas cards will get mailed today and just a few loose ends and wrapping left to do.
i have to get some fish oil pills and yogurt today to help with the chronic constipation i am having from the sub
my counselor took me to the nurse and she told me how to taper off the klonopin correctly cuz i was way too over sedated with the sub/benzo combination. i will only use the klonopin when the anxiety gets so out of control like it did over thanksgiving. atlas i thank God for you making me realize that i was going to get addicted to those pills, i cant believe my sub doctor would say its ok and i wont get addicted because it is for a short duration that you will take them. i thought i was doing the right thing following doctors orders, sub doctors are HARD to find in my area so i have to keep him for my sub maintenance and tapering advice.
so thats the update, better get busy, i would give anything to lay down and take a much needed nap but that wont be happening until the holidays are over. jewels k-9
Hi Julie...
Good for you for working through this with your sponsor....sometimes, for me, when I am in an uncomfortable position, I have to pray to God and ask for his guidence in how to handle the situation and as long as I am in action, I am okay...my old behaviour would have been to not deal with the situation and you are right where you're supposed to be and learning how to live life on life's terms...nobody said it was easy, simple yes, but sometimes challanges occur and it's how I deal with it now with the tools I have from the program that allows me to grow spiritually....
Julie...you're recovery is shining and I hope you have a wonderful holiday....remember, no more big deals...My e-mail & phone number are always open if you need to talk....
Take care,
Stacey
Good for you for working through this with your sponsor....sometimes, for me, when I am in an uncomfortable position, I have to pray to God and ask for his guidence in how to handle the situation and as long as I am in action, I am okay...my old behaviour would have been to not deal with the situation and you are right where you're supposed to be and learning how to live life on life's terms...nobody said it was easy, simple yes, but sometimes challanges occur and it's how I deal with it now with the tools I have from the program that allows me to grow spiritually....
Julie...you're recovery is shining and I hope you have a wonderful holiday....remember, no more big deals...My e-mail & phone number are always open if you need to talk....
Take care,
Stacey
hi honey thanks for the reply. i dont know if i have your email and i lost the courage to call you and i dont know where i misplaced your number, please could you give me that info again??? love julie
No problem, Julie...I remember that phone weighing 300lbs at times...lol...
YGM...
Take care,
Stacey
YGM...
Take care,
Stacey
Hi Julie,
You sound so much more positive now. It is nice to read that your doing ok. I am glad that your phone anxiety went away talking to thumper, she is such a nice person and so easy to talk to on the phone. I can talk to her for a long time and we just laugh and have so much fun.
I hope your christmas bells goes well. We are doing a childrens program on christmas eve. My sister and I are teaching the kids their lines and holding practices. I have to play the guitar for the song "What child is this" I am practicing it although I pretty much got it down. Lets just hope I do good on the Christmas eve.
Take care and I hope your back feels better. I can't imagine all the bending over you have to do and staying on your feet all day, wow, I don't know if I could do that.
You sound so much more positive now. It is nice to read that your doing ok. I am glad that your phone anxiety went away talking to thumper, she is such a nice person and so easy to talk to on the phone. I can talk to her for a long time and we just laugh and have so much fun.
I hope your christmas bells goes well. We are doing a childrens program on christmas eve. My sister and I are teaching the kids their lines and holding practices. I have to play the guitar for the song "What child is this" I am practicing it although I pretty much got it down. Lets just hope I do good on the Christmas eve.
Take care and I hope your back feels better. I can't imagine all the bending over you have to do and staying on your feet all day, wow, I don't know if I could do that.
julie,
i am really glad to hear things are improving for you.
i hope you have a sweet and loving holiday.
peace.
sarah
i am really glad to hear things are improving for you.
i hope you have a sweet and loving holiday.
peace.
sarah
THANK YOU SARAH FOR THAT, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR KINDNESS,
I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY CLEAN 2007 FOR ALL OF US! julie
I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY CLEAN 2007 FOR ALL OF US! julie
jewels..................
happy holidays honey.
have fun............be happy..................
love thumper
happy holidays honey.
have fun............be happy..................
love thumper
I hope you have a happy holidays as well Jewls.
You too THumper, oh and I got your ornaments all packaged up and ready to go, all I have to do is send them off in the mail ;-)
You too THumper, oh and I got your ornaments all packaged up and ready to go, all I have to do is send them off in the mail ;-)
hey thumper and stephy
hi, i am so tired i can barely keep my eyes open, another busy day today...well girls i am starting to nod off, good night God bless julie
hi, i am so tired i can barely keep my eyes open, another busy day today...well girls i am starting to nod off, good night God bless julie
Good Night Julie, Sweet Dreams and God Bless You. I hope you get some good rest. I am tired too, I stayed up trying to get a package ready for Thumper for Christmas.
Well Thumper if you read this I hope you have goos night....whoo hoo!
I am so tired, I am going to go to bed and get some rest.
Sweet dreams and God Bless you Thumper!!!
Well Thumper if you read this I hope you have goos night....whoo hoo!
I am so tired, I am going to go to bed and get some rest.
Sweet dreams and God Bless you Thumper!!!
whoo hoo.............thank you so much......
cant wait to see what you made...........so kind of you......
i appreciate it and you so much...........
hi jewels..........
goos night ladies.................whoo hoo.......
i have to go to bed myself...........
thumper
cant wait to see what you made...........so kind of you......
i appreciate it and you so much...........
hi jewels..........
goos night ladies.................whoo hoo.......
i have to go to bed myself...........
thumper