What's up girl? How are you feeling today? Rae
Hey, Rae! Last night was my 2nd night of being away from my husband. As you can imaging, he called last night and says he just can't understand why I left-that I need to come home, be an adult, and talk about it. Right. Like I'm going to be in a confined space with him again? Not. Lot's of mixed emotions about that.
Had good outpatient meetings this week. Going fine there. Still not sub doc on the horizon, so I've got to do the taper thing. I'm doing the Easter plunge. Trying to get myself geared up for that. I know this will help. This board has been so great, I just feel at home most of the time.
How are things with you? Anything new going on with your kiddos? My boys are doing well, but want me to go home (they're with me). It's breaking my heart, but they are going to have to understand that Dad doesn't treat Mom very nicely (BIG understatement). I was so hoping that we could just part ways and remain civil. I don't think that's going to happen. He tells me if I don't come back my life will be a living hell (but in the same breath he says he really does love me). YUCK. I am ready for a new beginning--in several aspects of my life.
Thanks for checking in. You are truly a doll. How did your week go? Any fun plans for the weekend?
Julz
Had good outpatient meetings this week. Going fine there. Still not sub doc on the horizon, so I've got to do the taper thing. I'm doing the Easter plunge. Trying to get myself geared up for that. I know this will help. This board has been so great, I just feel at home most of the time.
How are things with you? Anything new going on with your kiddos? My boys are doing well, but want me to go home (they're with me). It's breaking my heart, but they are going to have to understand that Dad doesn't treat Mom very nicely (BIG understatement). I was so hoping that we could just part ways and remain civil. I don't think that's going to happen. He tells me if I don't come back my life will be a living hell (but in the same breath he says he really does love me). YUCK. I am ready for a new beginning--in several aspects of my life.
Thanks for checking in. You are truly a doll. How did your week go? Any fun plans for the weekend?
Julz
Hey Julz,
It sounds like you are going through a rough time. I was right where you are Aug 2002.. I was withdrawling from Methadone and coke, although the methadone took longer to leave my system. My husband and I had a son together and we were married for 8 years... We had many wonderful memories but we had our share of hard times to. I decided to divorce him and leave. He swore he would make my life a living hell to, which he did for a while-trust me. Things did get better after I left. He still wants me back 2 1/2 years later. I had a wonderful BF that I have been with for 2 years and him and I have a daughter almost a year old. So things look completely different now. It is hard on the kids but it is harder on them to see an abusive relationship going on. You have got to put their needs first. From what you have wrote it sounds like you need to move on and stick to it. Don't allow him to wear you down, mean what you say and say what you mean. You'll be fine.
Glad to hear you are doing the Easter Plundge with Diane. That is great! I will be rooting for all of you! You can do this. You have the desire to quit and determination, you'll be fine.
The kid are doing great, thanks for asking. Today is the 1st day of Spring Break,yippie for me,LOL The baby has a runny nose and is clingy today! She just started walking, to cute!
I think we are staying in this weekend, went to Orlando last weekend. Well take care! If you ever need to talk e-mail me at Bunny4804@aol.com you have it. Hang in there! Things will look so different months from now. My ex-husband and I are very good friends now. So things can change for the better over time.
Rae
It sounds like you are going through a rough time. I was right where you are Aug 2002.. I was withdrawling from Methadone and coke, although the methadone took longer to leave my system. My husband and I had a son together and we were married for 8 years... We had many wonderful memories but we had our share of hard times to. I decided to divorce him and leave. He swore he would make my life a living hell to, which he did for a while-trust me. Things did get better after I left. He still wants me back 2 1/2 years later. I had a wonderful BF that I have been with for 2 years and him and I have a daughter almost a year old. So things look completely different now. It is hard on the kids but it is harder on them to see an abusive relationship going on. You have got to put their needs first. From what you have wrote it sounds like you need to move on and stick to it. Don't allow him to wear you down, mean what you say and say what you mean. You'll be fine.
Glad to hear you are doing the Easter Plundge with Diane. That is great! I will be rooting for all of you! You can do this. You have the desire to quit and determination, you'll be fine.
The kid are doing great, thanks for asking. Today is the 1st day of Spring Break,yippie for me,LOL The baby has a runny nose and is clingy today! She just started walking, to cute!
I think we are staying in this weekend, went to Orlando last weekend. Well take care! If you ever need to talk e-mail me at Bunny4804@aol.com you have it. Hang in there! Things will look so different months from now. My ex-husband and I are very good friends now. So things can change for the better over time.
Rae
I just love you. You're always so full of inspiration and positive thoughts for me and everyone! How did you w/d off the methodone and coke (I think was coke?). I've seen your OTC lists and I've tried ct and tapering, but I always cave in. The detox is just too painful. I get very sick. Did you taper down? I'll chat with you soon.
J
J
Hey Julz,
My ex and I were bad into doing coke towards the end of our marriage and it is something not a lot of people know about. We were both physically dependant on methadone from 2000 til Aug 2002. I ONLY did coke for a few months out of my entire life. The first time I tried it I was 28 years old. Carzy huh? Anyway I got in way over my head with it. My ex and I had our problems with pain pills but when we through coke into it we were a mess. Our life went downhill FAST. I wanted to change and he didn't. I was just sick and tired of a lot of things. I was taking 20 mgs of methadone and I cut down to 2.5 mgs before I stopped. I went through a wicked evil withdrawl that lasted so long. My best friend helped me through the roughest time but it was something I did on my own, for myself and my children. A few days into the withdrawl I called my mom and she took my kids. I was to sick to cook, clean and take care of them so I admitted to her what I had been doing. I drove to my friends and locked myself in her house for days. I could barely stand to shower but I lived through it.
I got the divorce and custody of our son. My ex-husband went through his detox from methadone a couple weeks after I did. I took about every OTC medication there was and sucked it up. It was hard but it was something I knew I had to do!I had hit rock bottom. There was no place for me to go but up!
After 8-9 months of being totally clean I started with vicodin again for back pain. I was in a bad accident in 1996. Anyway, I went thrugh a vicodin withdrawl when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Aug 2003. I was clean until I had her April 2004. I was taking 20 mgs of hydro when I quit. 7-10 days of not feeling great. Then stupid me had a c-section and was sent home with what??? Percocet and started the cycle again. This time I switched back to vicodin and remained on Vic's from April 2004 until Feb 2nd 2005. When I quit this last time I weaned down to 5 mgs and quit. You can do it. You just have to really REALLY want it. I wanted to stop. After a while the buzz wasn't fun. I was a lazy a$$ after a while with no energy at all. It was just my time. I guess all good things must come to an end, so i said good-bye AGAIN and I haven't looked back! I know you are at a higher dose than I EVER was. I mean I have been using off and on since 1996 and I have never ever taken more than 3 pills in one day! So you have a longer road than I did but you CAN DO IT.. I am no better than you. You just need to stick to the taper plan and you'll succeed,
I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about using. I do all the time but I won't act on it for today! That's all we have is today. I am the relapse queen girlfriend. All you can do at this point is pick yourself up and TRY.. TRY and TRY again until you get it right. Take care hun. Rae
My ex and I were bad into doing coke towards the end of our marriage and it is something not a lot of people know about. We were both physically dependant on methadone from 2000 til Aug 2002. I ONLY did coke for a few months out of my entire life. The first time I tried it I was 28 years old. Carzy huh? Anyway I got in way over my head with it. My ex and I had our problems with pain pills but when we through coke into it we were a mess. Our life went downhill FAST. I wanted to change and he didn't. I was just sick and tired of a lot of things. I was taking 20 mgs of methadone and I cut down to 2.5 mgs before I stopped. I went through a wicked evil withdrawl that lasted so long. My best friend helped me through the roughest time but it was something I did on my own, for myself and my children. A few days into the withdrawl I called my mom and she took my kids. I was to sick to cook, clean and take care of them so I admitted to her what I had been doing. I drove to my friends and locked myself in her house for days. I could barely stand to shower but I lived through it.
I got the divorce and custody of our son. My ex-husband went through his detox from methadone a couple weeks after I did. I took about every OTC medication there was and sucked it up. It was hard but it was something I knew I had to do!I had hit rock bottom. There was no place for me to go but up!
After 8-9 months of being totally clean I started with vicodin again for back pain. I was in a bad accident in 1996. Anyway, I went thrugh a vicodin withdrawl when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Aug 2003. I was clean until I had her April 2004. I was taking 20 mgs of hydro when I quit. 7-10 days of not feeling great. Then stupid me had a c-section and was sent home with what??? Percocet and started the cycle again. This time I switched back to vicodin and remained on Vic's from April 2004 until Feb 2nd 2005. When I quit this last time I weaned down to 5 mgs and quit. You can do it. You just have to really REALLY want it. I wanted to stop. After a while the buzz wasn't fun. I was a lazy a$$ after a while with no energy at all. It was just my time. I guess all good things must come to an end, so i said good-bye AGAIN and I haven't looked back! I know you are at a higher dose than I EVER was. I mean I have been using off and on since 1996 and I have never ever taken more than 3 pills in one day! So you have a longer road than I did but you CAN DO IT.. I am no better than you. You just need to stick to the taper plan and you'll succeed,
I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about using. I do all the time but I won't act on it for today! That's all we have is today. I am the relapse queen girlfriend. All you can do at this point is pick yourself up and TRY.. TRY and TRY again until you get it right. Take care hun. Rae
