17 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work
1.It's an incentive to show up.
2.It leads to more honest communications.
3.It reduces complaints about low pay.
4.Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
5.It encourages car pooling.
6.Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7.It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8.It makes fellow employees look better.
9.It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10.Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11.Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12.Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at bar.
13.It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14.Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15.Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (Ewww!!!)
16.Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
17.Sitting "Bare assed" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
I have a cute and clever story for you!!!!!!!
Twin fetus are conversing in utero. One is named Ego the other Spirirt.
SPIRIT-"I know you will find this difficult to accept but, I truely believe there is life after birth."
EGO-"Don't be absurd. Look around you. This is all there is. Why must you always be thinking something beyond this reality? Accept your lot in life. Make yourself comfortable and forget this life-after-birth nonsense."
SPIRIT-" Now Ego, don't get mad but, I have something else to say. I also believe there is a Mother!"
EGO-"A mother!!! How can you be so foolish. You've never seen a mother. Why can't you accept that this is all there is? The idea of a mother is crazy. You are here alone with me. This is your reality. Now grab hold of that cord and go into your corner and stop being so silly. Trust me, there is no mother!"
SPIRIT-"Please listen without rejecting my idea. Somehow I think those constant pressures we both feel, those movements that make us so uncomfortable sometimes, that continual repositioning and all of that closing in that seems to be taking place as we grow, is getting us ready for a place of glowing light, and we will experience it very soon."
EGO-"Now I know you are absolutely insane! All we have ever known is darkness. You have never even seen light. All the movement and pressure is just a fact of our reality. This is your journey. Darkness and pressure and a closing in feeling is what life is all about. You'll have to fight it and put up with it as long as you live. Now don't bother me."
SPIRIT-"But Ego. I believe that all the pressure and discomfort is not only going to bring us to a celestial light but when we expereince it, we are going to meet mother face-to-face and know an ectasy beyond anything we ever have experienced"
EGO-"You are really crazy. I'm sure of it now"
Twin fetus are conversing in utero. One is named Ego the other Spirirt.
SPIRIT-"I know you will find this difficult to accept but, I truely believe there is life after birth."
EGO-"Don't be absurd. Look around you. This is all there is. Why must you always be thinking something beyond this reality? Accept your lot in life. Make yourself comfortable and forget this life-after-birth nonsense."
SPIRIT-" Now Ego, don't get mad but, I have something else to say. I also believe there is a Mother!"
EGO-"A mother!!! How can you be so foolish. You've never seen a mother. Why can't you accept that this is all there is? The idea of a mother is crazy. You are here alone with me. This is your reality. Now grab hold of that cord and go into your corner and stop being so silly. Trust me, there is no mother!"
SPIRIT-"Please listen without rejecting my idea. Somehow I think those constant pressures we both feel, those movements that make us so uncomfortable sometimes, that continual repositioning and all of that closing in that seems to be taking place as we grow, is getting us ready for a place of glowing light, and we will experience it very soon."
EGO-"Now I know you are absolutely insane! All we have ever known is darkness. You have never even seen light. All the movement and pressure is just a fact of our reality. This is your journey. Darkness and pressure and a closing in feeling is what life is all about. You'll have to fight it and put up with it as long as you live. Now don't bother me."
SPIRIT-"But Ego. I believe that all the pressure and discomfort is not only going to bring us to a celestial light but when we expereince it, we are going to meet mother face-to-face and know an ectasy beyond anything we ever have experienced"
EGO-"You are really crazy. I'm sure of it now"
