Thanks..never heard that one before..im..well was doing/feeling back to my normal. Then dropped the gaba another 100 yesterday..feeling it now..everything feels surreal. I just gotta remember that people are going through far worse..I've been through far worse..so will pass. Memory shot right now..s*** so..oh yeah don't say we are insane...i thjnk the more we put that in our heads..we engrave it so the cycle of doing s*** to make us crazy continues..if that makes sense. I have no music now...which bad sign..hopefully later!!
https://youtu.be/Lin-a2lTelg didn't exactly wanna think of song this way..RIP
Ouch Mk...ya...100 drop gotta screw up your wires some...I feel for you....that's a head mess....im sorry....headphone time maybe....narrow the world down some....and...yes...it will pass...sending calm vibes and cosmic giggles....excellent pick..btw...perfect.!..
https://youtu.be/ugRct9pNQYM
https://youtu.be/ugRct9pNQYM
Morning girls :) little something from me on this rainy Saturday! Not big fun of rainy days as those keeps me inside and been confided to room is not good for me as it makes me have bad thoughts! Still struglling but for now winning , taking each day as it comes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b63IZkgN_zc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b63IZkgN_zc
Marykat what is Gaba? Pills?
Hey B....oooohhh...old school....like it...nice pick....ya...struggling seems to be the name of the game here...lol...I'm glad you're hanging in there. ..I'm surfacing from the last run...try again now. ..
Con what else we can do/? We fall we get up brush and continue where we left. I am happy to be clean even just for short period , any clean time is good time, cant plan cos when I plan usually things goes wrong and if I use today I am still happy if is only 10 bag especially if is not day after day ... I am learning not to beat myself up if I fail but to try and be stronger next time, hope it makes sense. Its so easy to give in. Older we get harder it is! I seen you had your little "indiscretion" if we can call it that and I see you are trying your best to stay clean once again. I believe you can do it, I believe I can do it , we just need to want this change hard enough ! Wishing you painless and smooth recovery if that is possibile :)
I don't know anyone who has a painless recovery. I believe pain is necessary.
Misery is optional .....
The oldtimers I know in AA/NA work this program "painstakingly". I do.
I believe that is the biggest hurdle a newcomer faces-
they "hope" for a quick, complete painless withdrawal/recovery and are soon disappointed.
For the true alcoholic/addict to wait for enough personal strength is futile.
To wait to want recovery more never materializes.
It is so simply and precisely described in HOW IT WORKS and we gloss over it.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I came to the point, where instead of asking for what I wanted, I asked God to help me know and do what I had to do... and like HOW IT WORKS I said "What an order, I can't go through with it !!"
(Actually I thought: "I'll do anything - but I won't do this $hit")
I still wanted to do what I WANTED TO DO ... and it doesn't work that way.
I got to do my addiction/alcoholism MY WAY - recovery is a spiritual process (God's way)
Recovery is not a cake walk .. a day at the beach.
Recovery is not easy and painless for an addict/alcoholic - it is "unnatural" for us.
Recovery prompts me to examine literally everything about my thinking (and change it)
Recovery feels like reaching down my own throat and turning myself inside out ....
after doing that I find that I am turning myself back to normal (right-side out)
That is when I begin to see the truth - to meet and accept Bob - to meet God.
And I can't have the recovery of a 30yr oldtimer without doing the 30 yrs he did !!
One day at a time like he/she did. Following the program, not the disease.
There is a sentence in The 12 & 12 book of AA in Step 7. I love it. It says:
"Rebellion dogs our every step at first" And that rebellion is what causes my pain.
I had to begin to abandon the "Pie in the Sky" hor$e$*** in my head and get real.
To ask an AA/NA good oldtimer to help me and do what they say to do.
Today I know I can do it .... IF I FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS.
All the best.
Bob R
Misery is optional .....
The oldtimers I know in AA/NA work this program "painstakingly". I do.
I believe that is the biggest hurdle a newcomer faces-
they "hope" for a quick, complete painless withdrawal/recovery and are soon disappointed.
For the true alcoholic/addict to wait for enough personal strength is futile.
To wait to want recovery more never materializes.
It is so simply and precisely described in HOW IT WORKS and we gloss over it.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I came to the point, where instead of asking for what I wanted, I asked God to help me know and do what I had to do... and like HOW IT WORKS I said "What an order, I can't go through with it !!"
(Actually I thought: "I'll do anything - but I won't do this $hit")
I still wanted to do what I WANTED TO DO ... and it doesn't work that way.
I got to do my addiction/alcoholism MY WAY - recovery is a spiritual process (God's way)
Recovery is not a cake walk .. a day at the beach.
Recovery is not easy and painless for an addict/alcoholic - it is "unnatural" for us.
Recovery prompts me to examine literally everything about my thinking (and change it)
Recovery feels like reaching down my own throat and turning myself inside out ....
after doing that I find that I am turning myself back to normal (right-side out)
That is when I begin to see the truth - to meet and accept Bob - to meet God.
And I can't have the recovery of a 30yr oldtimer without doing the 30 yrs he did !!
One day at a time like he/she did. Following the program, not the disease.
There is a sentence in The 12 & 12 book of AA in Step 7. I love it. It says:
"Rebellion dogs our every step at first" And that rebellion is what causes my pain.
I had to begin to abandon the "Pie in the Sky" hor$e$*** in my head and get real.
To ask an AA/NA good oldtimer to help me and do what they say to do.
Today I know I can do it .... IF I FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS.
All the best.
Bob R
RIP Leonard (a great (??!!) Canadian) - one of us.......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-0lV5qs1Qw
"Johnny Walker wisdom runnin' high"
All the best.
Bob
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-0lV5qs1Qw
"Johnny Walker wisdom runnin' high"
All the best.
Bob
Whoa....PB....wicked pick ...wicked wicked pick.....
Con..yeah 100mg sounds alot but actually lowest dose i believe..but still felt it. Bonnie..its neurotin/gabapentin an anti convulsunt..jeez can't spell right now..anyway given for many off label uses..opiate w/d big one. I started taking as 'mood stabalizer' but definitley taking too much got a high from initially...and tried to keep that going i guess..and got myself where im at. Im in process of stepping off. Its what it is. so i just spent a long time just now listening to boyfriends friend talk about aa...im proud of where hes got..hes the one that introduced my b/f to heroin....he is happy where hes at and so good to see..idk where im going with this..my brain not working great..anyway you all here is another beautiful one from leonard... https://youtu.be/gjCvFNVzIrc
...its hard to hold the hand of anyone who is reaching for the sky just to surrender...
Mk...that was intense...story of my life...."told you I was a stranger"...ya...i was a dealer...and the words struck a chord .
and B...ya...that line is so true...damn...another one of his songs " you want it darker?" would fit here right about now...lol...yes...music is my voice too...always has been...and I'm glad we can throw out what we're feeling in a song here ...so hope its ok... to throw something else out today ...lighten it up...so speaking of AA mk...you all probably know this guy already but I didn't..ya..I'm slow like that....listened to it at 3 this morning and ended up laughing so hard and wanting to cry at same time it was crazy.....so I'm passing it on....and...hopefully it will make you all laugh too...PB special...
https://youtu.be/mbhOGIdoQNE
Your turn B...post us a song..
and B...ya...that line is so true...damn...another one of his songs " you want it darker?" would fit here right about now...lol...yes...music is my voice too...always has been...and I'm glad we can throw out what we're feeling in a song here ...so hope its ok... to throw something else out today ...lighten it up...so speaking of AA mk...you all probably know this guy already but I didn't..ya..I'm slow like that....listened to it at 3 this morning and ended up laughing so hard and wanting to cry at same time it was crazy.....so I'm passing it on....and...hopefully it will make you all laugh too...PB special...
https://youtu.be/mbhOGIdoQNE
Your turn B...post us a song..
No con..this is the dark and depressing only music thread!! What are you trying to do making people laugh?? i've never heard of him..hard to hear without headphones..I'll listen later. Was actually gonna post something from one of my favorite comedians other day..but couldn't decide. But yes lets lighten this sh!t up for a minute...after last night i could definitley use it!!! Today is alright though..hope the same for you guys or better
You go, Con !!
You're spending time in the solution rather than the problem o:)
You're spending time in the solution rather than the problem o:)
LOL...you both crack me up !!
MK, better day ? Hope your doing ok...sending good vibes
PB, think my ears fallin off listening ..but smiling !
MK, better day ? Hope your doing ok...sending good vibes
PB, think my ears fallin off listening ..but smiling !
Off the fcking hook B !!! ....I want her coat ....God she sounds like Amy...hope your not reflecting and everything ok...though must say....lovely way to get even..!....
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