18 years (on and off heroin?).. that's a long time.. i am guessing that you have the funds to buy it...and that you don't have any jail time because of that. Using sucks and IT WILL CATCH UP TO YOU... as far as not wanting to take subs because your afraid you might want to use instead????? sorry dude, i got no advice for you...but, i can tell you one thing and that is for sure. Your luck is gonna run out...
Come on Tony..afraid to take the sub? Why? Is it really because you aren't done using and that once the sub is in your system, you can't? COME ON!!! Once you take the sub, you won't want the heroin, I promise! It blocks all of that and you will have little or no withdrawal so that's not an excuse either.
You deserve this buddy, you are worth more than what you give yourself credit for.
Wait 12 to 18 hours and then just do it, take the damn sub! Small amount at first then go up as the day goes on if you need it. It saved my son's life by doing exactly that.
I really care, we all do.
You deserve this buddy, you are worth more than what you give yourself credit for.
Wait 12 to 18 hours and then just do it, take the damn sub! Small amount at first then go up as the day goes on if you need it. It saved my son's life by doing exactly that.
I really care, we all do.
Tony - It is so amazing how subs work. How I don't even think of using sometimes for very long stretches. I am using this time to find out what the hell caused me to use in the first place. I'm trying to DEAL with those issues. I admit hon, it's not easy but it's way easier than using was! WAY easier. I hated that lifestyle.
I kept thinking I was ready to go down in dosage but I know now, I'm not ready. I've got a ton of drama going on right now. I'm frankly amazed I haven't used or thought about using. The stress is hard, I'm not used to feeling so much, definately not used to crying. Think of this to...I am also at the beginning of menopause. Yep, starting very early I guess. It's genetic. My hormones are sooooooo out of whack and the hot flashes are annoying as can be.
So not only am I a recovering addict, I'm going through menopause, fighting depression and dealing with moving, my stepson and his issues, my ex who drives me completely nuts, it's review time at work and I have things to get completed for the fiscal year, and blah blah blah STRESS! Trying hard to cut the fat out of my life. We can start with my ex. *slice*
Lol.
Lots of addicts hesitate to take the subs because once they do, they can't use. It's like REALLY committing instead of just talking about it. I hate to say this but we are always honest here, I've seen people use heroin and suboxone at the same time before.I've especially seen people using methadone and heroin together. It sort of makes me mad and makes me so NOT want to do it. People went through a lot of trouble in order to help us addicts with these medications. They are for us to stop and break the cycle. They are designed to HELP us. It's like a slap in the face of all those people who worked so hard to find a light at the end of the tunnel for us! If you think of things this way, it might make it easier for you to stick to staying on them and not using in addition. You won't NEED to use and you won't want to either.
What some don't understand about subs is that once you take them, you WON'T CARE about the heroin or pills, you won't think about them like you do now. No more obsessing over your next fix. Can you imagine how great that would feel? I'm sure you have felt that if you've done this before...remember how great that is, not having to worry about your next dose and getting sick...oy..that list of hell from just trying to get high is horrible. JUST DO IT TONY!Take the sub.
Truly, I promise you Tony - you will be soooo glad you did. Take them correctly. Do not abuse them. Take it exactly at the same time every day, make it a routine. And see a doctor please. Talk therapy is priceless. It really is and it really works.
Remember the subs will make you not care about pills or heroin. I'm telling you sometimes you forget you are an addict. You will feel fine. You will begin to feel again and it is better than being high. It's happier. It's healthier. Your old interests will come back (mine was art, books, gardening, music, animals) and you will want to find new activities to do. I'm learning to horseback ride and I love it. I also want to take a glass blowing class b/c I find it fascinating. I'd love to play around on the pottery wheel as well. What did you used to like to do Tony? What were your activities before the drugs got its claws into your soul? You can get away. The subs are only a tool.
Think of a sub like a key. Here's the key. You have and possess the key. Take the key and unlock the door, push it open and slowly, walk through the door.
It's the key to the most wonderful place in the world for you - your brain, your very soul. In that room of "you" there are endless possibilities...beautiful things...people that love you and vice versa...a wonderful future...interesting and FUN things...new experiences and old happy memories. That is YOU. You've not got to visit this place for a long time. Why? You've been locked out by heroin, numbed out, way out of it. To leave that room and shut the door on "you" is to walk into the abyss. You basically walk over a cliff and fall and fall and smash into things painfully along the way until you land, with a painful thud, and you either die or find yourself locked in a jail cell. All because you were afraid to take the key in your hand, open the door and walk through it. Sad. More than sad, tragic. Stop making "you" a tragedy.
Something else I noticed - suddenly you will also begin to see what you've done to your body and insides. And you will want to fix it. I never was one to eat healthy and exercise. Now I'm finding it exhilarating. I was always lucky being curvy/slender but as I was starting to get older, I was missing those days when I could eat what I want and still be firm. Bah! Yeah, that goes away for any of you younger women reading. But, now I'm enjoying watching my body change from just blah and not much tone,too toned and hard. I'm gettin legs of steel! Look out world, I'm wearing my cute shorts that show much leg!
Sigh. Anyway, enough of that - sorry, I get carried away at times, lol. :) I hope I drilled it in your head enough in this post to just take the damn sub and don't look back. Go forward!! Be brave! Be proud of yourself!! Love yourself!! Take back "YOU"! Tell Heroin to EFF OFF.
Many prayers and thoughts going your way....
Love,
Melissa
I kept thinking I was ready to go down in dosage but I know now, I'm not ready. I've got a ton of drama going on right now. I'm frankly amazed I haven't used or thought about using. The stress is hard, I'm not used to feeling so much, definately not used to crying. Think of this to...I am also at the beginning of menopause. Yep, starting very early I guess. It's genetic. My hormones are sooooooo out of whack and the hot flashes are annoying as can be.
So not only am I a recovering addict, I'm going through menopause, fighting depression and dealing with moving, my stepson and his issues, my ex who drives me completely nuts, it's review time at work and I have things to get completed for the fiscal year, and blah blah blah STRESS! Trying hard to cut the fat out of my life. We can start with my ex. *slice*
Lol.
Lots of addicts hesitate to take the subs because once they do, they can't use. It's like REALLY committing instead of just talking about it. I hate to say this but we are always honest here, I've seen people use heroin and suboxone at the same time before.I've especially seen people using methadone and heroin together. It sort of makes me mad and makes me so NOT want to do it. People went through a lot of trouble in order to help us addicts with these medications. They are for us to stop and break the cycle. They are designed to HELP us. It's like a slap in the face of all those people who worked so hard to find a light at the end of the tunnel for us! If you think of things this way, it might make it easier for you to stick to staying on them and not using in addition. You won't NEED to use and you won't want to either.
What some don't understand about subs is that once you take them, you WON'T CARE about the heroin or pills, you won't think about them like you do now. No more obsessing over your next fix. Can you imagine how great that would feel? I'm sure you have felt that if you've done this before...remember how great that is, not having to worry about your next dose and getting sick...oy..that list of hell from just trying to get high is horrible. JUST DO IT TONY!Take the sub.
Truly, I promise you Tony - you will be soooo glad you did. Take them correctly. Do not abuse them. Take it exactly at the same time every day, make it a routine. And see a doctor please. Talk therapy is priceless. It really is and it really works.
Remember the subs will make you not care about pills or heroin. I'm telling you sometimes you forget you are an addict. You will feel fine. You will begin to feel again and it is better than being high. It's happier. It's healthier. Your old interests will come back (mine was art, books, gardening, music, animals) and you will want to find new activities to do. I'm learning to horseback ride and I love it. I also want to take a glass blowing class b/c I find it fascinating. I'd love to play around on the pottery wheel as well. What did you used to like to do Tony? What were your activities before the drugs got its claws into your soul? You can get away. The subs are only a tool.
Think of a sub like a key. Here's the key. You have and possess the key. Take the key and unlock the door, push it open and slowly, walk through the door.
It's the key to the most wonderful place in the world for you - your brain, your very soul. In that room of "you" there are endless possibilities...beautiful things...people that love you and vice versa...a wonderful future...interesting and FUN things...new experiences and old happy memories. That is YOU. You've not got to visit this place for a long time. Why? You've been locked out by heroin, numbed out, way out of it. To leave that room and shut the door on "you" is to walk into the abyss. You basically walk over a cliff and fall and fall and smash into things painfully along the way until you land, with a painful thud, and you either die or find yourself locked in a jail cell. All because you were afraid to take the key in your hand, open the door and walk through it. Sad. More than sad, tragic. Stop making "you" a tragedy.
Something else I noticed - suddenly you will also begin to see what you've done to your body and insides. And you will want to fix it. I never was one to eat healthy and exercise. Now I'm finding it exhilarating. I was always lucky being curvy/slender but as I was starting to get older, I was missing those days when I could eat what I want and still be firm. Bah! Yeah, that goes away for any of you younger women reading. But, now I'm enjoying watching my body change from just blah and not much tone,too toned and hard. I'm gettin legs of steel! Look out world, I'm wearing my cute shorts that show much leg!
Sigh. Anyway, enough of that - sorry, I get carried away at times, lol. :) I hope I drilled it in your head enough in this post to just take the damn sub and don't look back. Go forward!! Be brave! Be proud of yourself!! Love yourself!! Take back "YOU"! Tell Heroin to EFF OFF.
Many prayers and thoughts going your way....
Love,
Melissa
Great posts, Lisa and Melissa! Read them and reread them, Tony. :) You so much deserve a good life...just as my son does. Progress is taking steps...even baby steps...in the right direction. The subs hold the key to a better life for you!
Love and prayers,
Susan :)
Love and prayers,
Susan :)
Not a doctor I preface that --But I know more about 90% of the a-hole addiction specialist here in south florida--I can find 100 in my network--each month they grow--
Melissa suboxone means the world to me.
in 2005 I had all these issues but life was okay and then MRSA 15 pound abcess a rabbi and priest as they thought I was dead --just finished 8months of sub sober almost 9 months and they killed me--pain --pump of morphine all that prayer god--it all died in me--the anger would keep me dry drunk occasional binges until 2 strokes--anger? then lost my dad to 7 years that he fought and agony--killed my mother with the anger--but somehow I lived--started my last job in 2006--until the strokes. lOTS OF AMGER SINCE 1976 WHEN THAT IS WHEN I GOT VERY SICK AND LOST MY MIND--DEPRESSION--AND ANGER--LOST MY FRIENDS MY HOBBIES MY FAMILY I BECAME LOST AND FOUND ALCOHOL AND DRUGS VERY FAST--
The suboxone has saved my life-3 times---My last situation I was honest and that is why I have the best addiction specialist--No way on sub using any benzos and I was on klonopin--so I listened to my doctor--My situation is frustrating as I know my first addiction specialist was okay with the klonopin 1-1.5 mg as needed-and she weaned me off--anyway suboxone is the best medication for a opiate addict IMO--but without therapy AA etc--your pissing your sub and risking your life --addiction is very logical for Myself--I only share my experience--I fought to get into the sub in 2004 found this Internet recovery--and its almost 7 years and i am sober 6 months--just got my chip--today--pretty cool
AA--has changed--I went to a speaker meeting today--and this guy got sober in 1989--but he mentioned pot--pills--etc--as to many young kids are dually addicted--for a garbage pail like myself I love it-In the 88-91 I was not allowed to speak of anything but booze--I was junkie coke alc pills--I went to NA--not for me--AA for myself is the solution as one drink I am done--for the day--I cant have one glass anymore--the stuff will kill me--That's a fact----scares the sheet out of me cause I love beer and red wine--
If I was an opiate addict i would fight for AA/ sub/ addiction specialist--I always crack up when people say they cant afford it? How did you get high all them years--I spent 80,000 back in the 70.s just on rehabs and 6 months away from home halfway house and to scared to leave till my 6 month chip as per my sponsor and counselors--So I worked for 7 $ an hour in a sub shop--sure I was still doing stupid things looking back -but I had skills to make money --all that crap I let go--guilt shame--grew some balls and went back to N.Y my business got married two kids sure I went nuts again but I would do it again--I was healthy things were great and then it all crashed--Pain--and Oxycontin --that's 1998--99--were at 2012--
I drank in 1974 by 1977 I was a junkie and depressed--due to illness--its 2012 i AM STILL A JUNKIE i FIGHT DAILY -THAT IS THE SOLUTION FOR ME--HAD TO GET THIS OUT--INTERESTING DAY-- ALL MY FAMILY IS WHERE i WAS MY BROTHER DIVORCE FIGHTING WITH EX--MY BIL--PARTNER /BUSINESS ETC--I WAS SITTING IN THE SUN READING A BOOK--AS ITS THE BEST WEATHER EVER SEEN SINCE I LEFT N.Y IN 1992--EVREY DAY ITS 80 + AND SUNNY --ITS NOT HUMID MILD BREEZES--AWESOME--TEXTING AS ALL THIS B.S COMING THROUGH MY PHONE--I WAS SWEATING AND LAUGHING AT HOW MY LIFE IS CHANGING--SURE SOME REAL TOUGH DAYS AHEAD BUT I AM SO HAPPY--NOT DRY NOT ANGRY AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WAKE UP TOMM AND MEET MY DAUGHTER FOR A LONG WEEKEND--CAN YOU BEAT THAT?
FEAR IS A WORD I HAVE LEARNED TO RESPECT--I SPENT YEARS BEING AFRAID OF MY 2 STROKES AND LOSING MY EYE--F THAT--WAS IN N.YMY FIRST WINTER AND A LITTLE SNOW SINCE 1999--FAMILY IS COMING HERE TO FLORIDA AND I DECIDED TO GO BACK FOR 3 WEEKS IN APRIL --GOING BACK TO ALL MY FRIENDS--SEE THE KNICKS NBA--SHOT AT RANGERS NHL MAY SEE MY SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP I LOVE THIS STUFF--MY BEST FRIEND KEEPS TELLING ME HE WAS DEAD AND I WAS SOBER HE FOUND THE ROOMS AND UNLIKE MYSELF HE IS SOBER 20+yrs cant wait to see him.has 2 kids --were miracles--
sorry for the rambling but this is my story--its not the drugalogs its what people share about what changed--Change is life --or death--and a lot of prayer and god watching us--JMHO-I PRAY THIS MAKES SENSE TO SOMEONE BESIDES JEFF--
Jeffrey
Melissa suboxone means the world to me.
in 2005 I had all these issues but life was okay and then MRSA 15 pound abcess a rabbi and priest as they thought I was dead --just finished 8months of sub sober almost 9 months and they killed me--pain --pump of morphine all that prayer god--it all died in me--the anger would keep me dry drunk occasional binges until 2 strokes--anger? then lost my dad to 7 years that he fought and agony--killed my mother with the anger--but somehow I lived--started my last job in 2006--until the strokes. lOTS OF AMGER SINCE 1976 WHEN THAT IS WHEN I GOT VERY SICK AND LOST MY MIND--DEPRESSION--AND ANGER--LOST MY FRIENDS MY HOBBIES MY FAMILY I BECAME LOST AND FOUND ALCOHOL AND DRUGS VERY FAST--
The suboxone has saved my life-3 times---My last situation I was honest and that is why I have the best addiction specialist--No way on sub using any benzos and I was on klonopin--so I listened to my doctor--My situation is frustrating as I know my first addiction specialist was okay with the klonopin 1-1.5 mg as needed-and she weaned me off--anyway suboxone is the best medication for a opiate addict IMO--but without therapy AA etc--your pissing your sub and risking your life --addiction is very logical for Myself--I only share my experience--I fought to get into the sub in 2004 found this Internet recovery--and its almost 7 years and i am sober 6 months--just got my chip--today--pretty cool
AA--has changed--I went to a speaker meeting today--and this guy got sober in 1989--but he mentioned pot--pills--etc--as to many young kids are dually addicted--for a garbage pail like myself I love it-In the 88-91 I was not allowed to speak of anything but booze--I was junkie coke alc pills--I went to NA--not for me--AA for myself is the solution as one drink I am done--for the day--I cant have one glass anymore--the stuff will kill me--That's a fact----scares the sheet out of me cause I love beer and red wine--
If I was an opiate addict i would fight for AA/ sub/ addiction specialist--I always crack up when people say they cant afford it? How did you get high all them years--I spent 80,000 back in the 70.s just on rehabs and 6 months away from home halfway house and to scared to leave till my 6 month chip as per my sponsor and counselors--So I worked for 7 $ an hour in a sub shop--sure I was still doing stupid things looking back -but I had skills to make money --all that crap I let go--guilt shame--grew some balls and went back to N.Y my business got married two kids sure I went nuts again but I would do it again--I was healthy things were great and then it all crashed--Pain--and Oxycontin --that's 1998--99--were at 2012--
I drank in 1974 by 1977 I was a junkie and depressed--due to illness--its 2012 i AM STILL A JUNKIE i FIGHT DAILY -THAT IS THE SOLUTION FOR ME--HAD TO GET THIS OUT--INTERESTING DAY-- ALL MY FAMILY IS WHERE i WAS MY BROTHER DIVORCE FIGHTING WITH EX--MY BIL--PARTNER /BUSINESS ETC--I WAS SITTING IN THE SUN READING A BOOK--AS ITS THE BEST WEATHER EVER SEEN SINCE I LEFT N.Y IN 1992--EVREY DAY ITS 80 + AND SUNNY --ITS NOT HUMID MILD BREEZES--AWESOME--TEXTING AS ALL THIS B.S COMING THROUGH MY PHONE--I WAS SWEATING AND LAUGHING AT HOW MY LIFE IS CHANGING--SURE SOME REAL TOUGH DAYS AHEAD BUT I AM SO HAPPY--NOT DRY NOT ANGRY AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WAKE UP TOMM AND MEET MY DAUGHTER FOR A LONG WEEKEND--CAN YOU BEAT THAT?
FEAR IS A WORD I HAVE LEARNED TO RESPECT--I SPENT YEARS BEING AFRAID OF MY 2 STROKES AND LOSING MY EYE--F THAT--WAS IN N.YMY FIRST WINTER AND A LITTLE SNOW SINCE 1999--FAMILY IS COMING HERE TO FLORIDA AND I DECIDED TO GO BACK FOR 3 WEEKS IN APRIL --GOING BACK TO ALL MY FRIENDS--SEE THE KNICKS NBA--SHOT AT RANGERS NHL MAY SEE MY SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP I LOVE THIS STUFF--MY BEST FRIEND KEEPS TELLING ME HE WAS DEAD AND I WAS SOBER HE FOUND THE ROOMS AND UNLIKE MYSELF HE IS SOBER 20+yrs cant wait to see him.has 2 kids --were miracles--
sorry for the rambling but this is my story--its not the drugalogs its what people share about what changed--Change is life --or death--and a lot of prayer and god watching us--JMHO-I PRAY THIS MAKES SENSE TO SOMEONE BESIDES JEFF--
Jeffrey
Still thinking of you, praying, and caring!
God bless! +
Susan
God bless! +
Susan
How are you doing, Tony?
Dear Tony...
In response to your title for this thread "Just Cant Take That First Suby"....YES YOU CAN!!!!
Love and prayers,
Susan
In response to your title for this thread "Just Cant Take That First Suby"....YES YOU CAN!!!!
Love and prayers,
Susan
Hi all thanks for the replys I have got to my friends at last. I went to a meeting tonight then my friend drove me here so its the sub in the morning so fingers crossed everyone lol. I need to do this I can't keep on the way iv been going. Look forward to hearing from you all god bless tony. X x
So good to hear it, Tony! I'm still praying for you and I care. You CAN do this! Keep going to those meetings! :)
Love and prayers,
Susan
Love and prayers,
Susan
Hey Tony--Good deal--
Jeffrey
Jeffrey
Hey Tony, can you check in and let us know how you're doing? You took the sub today, right?
Just checking in on you. Hope you took the sub, but if you didn't tomorrow will be perfect!
Love,
Susan
Love,
Susan
Where are you, Tony? Please let us know how you're doing.
God bless!
Susan
God bless!
Susan
Still praying for you!
Thnking of you and hoping that you're okay. Keep trying! You're worth it! :)
Hi, Tony
I'm checking here almost every day and still praying for you. YOU CAN DO THIS!
God bless!
Susan
I'm checking here almost every day and still praying for you. YOU CAN DO THIS!
God bless!
Susan
Oh dear I don't think he did it,if u did tony well done.its a physical and mental blocker when I was on them I felt GREAT,didn't even cross my mind to use but maybe ur just not quite at rock bottom yet its like having 1 last hit before going to rehab...not ready to let go of it just yet,but if u do u will be glad u did.. to begin your new life u have to END the old ,believe when ur ready u will be takin the subby with no hesitation at all ,u have to focus on how god damn awful u feel when ur at ur lowest not how good u feel when uve had a hit...good luck :)
hi i have had the1 suby sickness a few times and am to scared to try again am now 2years down methadone road and still using just cant get the want it bad enough feeling to stop using keep trying to justify my using even though i know its the root of it but after 15 years got to get out of this for everyone else if i aint worth it which is what i feel
can you please suggest anything that may give me life back .ive just allways been round drugs from my teens now nearly fifty any info help anything would be much appreciated
kind regards steve
can you please suggest anything that may give me life back .ive just allways been round drugs from my teens now nearly fifty any info help anything would be much appreciated
kind regards steve
Steve..the subby sickness is from not being in withdrawal long enough and taking too much sub to start with, right? Need to do a safe induction in your dr's office.
Sounds like you've been around the block and back..I understand about wanting your life back. Sub has saved many a life and if you don't want to go the methadone route, cold turkey or sub are your choices.
Tell us more about you...start your own thread so that you don't get lost.
Sounds like you've been around the block and back..I understand about wanting your life back. Sub has saved many a life and if you don't want to go the methadone route, cold turkey or sub are your choices.
Tell us more about you...start your own thread so that you don't get lost.
