Hi everyone,
I'm new here, but I need advice.
I've been seeing my girlfriend for almost a year, and she's been clean from heroin for more than two years. I didn't know her when she was using but met her through my sister who was also in recovery. We've had a great relationship so far. I've had to change my life style to support her recovery. I liked to smoke weed. So I don't do that anymore. But she's still sensitive about it.
Anyways, my sister who is still her close friend told me a couple of days ago that my girlfriend has been buying hydrocodone every weekend for the past few months, which she swore not to tell me. As such, I am sworn not to tell my girlfriend that I know, because my sister feels it will ruin their relationship. Instead, it's ruining my relationship. My girlfriend told me that I'm not being passionate any more, and that I'm being selfish, because I haven't wanted to hang out. She needs to come clean about it so we can talk. If she won't I'm just going to have to tell her I know. If she relapses, she'll have no relationships.
My questions are these. How dire is the situation? I can't find anything about former heroin users taking hydrocodone. It seems like she's playing with fire big time. The selfish part of me is angry that she would hide this from me and still have the nerve to distrust that I'm not smoking weed anymore. But that's minor compared to the danger she's put herself in. She's all but quit going to n.a. what should I do?
You are right to be worried any addictive substance is dangerous for people in recovery- it does not matter that it is not her first drug of choice-many addicts become cross-addicted or become poly-drug users - they use numerous drugs- they are all potentially lethal- she needs to get back in a program if that is what kept her clean before, she needs to go back to NA- personally i would be more concerned about her well being than her relationship with your sister- thats your call- but somebody has to get honest or else she is on a very dangerous road-i wish you the best of luck it is not a good situation for anyone-
Once an addict/alcoholic, always an addict/alcoholic.
Most of us are charming people with a fatal disease, a disease that affect us and everyone we come in contact with.
How do you like the drama/lies/cover-ups so far ?? They will get worse.
I've known 10-15-20 yr sober people to get drunk again and become quickly as bad & worse than they ever were.
You will have to take a good look at your expectations and motive(s) for even beginning a relationship with an addict/alky.
There are lots of nice ladies out there, NA isn't the best place to "shop".
All the best.
Bob R
Most of us are charming people with a fatal disease, a disease that affect us and everyone we come in contact with.
How do you like the drama/lies/cover-ups so far ?? They will get worse.
I've known 10-15-20 yr sober people to get drunk again and become quickly as bad & worse than they ever were.
You will have to take a good look at your expectations and motive(s) for even beginning a relationship with an addict/alky.
There are lots of nice ladies out there, NA isn't the best place to "shop".
All the best.
Bob R
