...from a sober Halloween dance, it was a fundraiser for one of the local women's sober living homes in our area. It was a lot of fun! I finally did something that I really have a good time doing and that is dancing...my youngest daughter is spending the night away with a friend whose Grandparents are raising her, the prerequisites are I have to have the address, she has to call me from the house phone and I have to speak to the adult there. She is mortified with all this...too bad. So I spoke to the Grandmother and she was gonna let them go down the street to a party until 11:30 tonight, I'm like no, 10:00 pm is the curfew, she's like hmmm, they told me 11:30, I'm like no, so it's probably a good idea if you have them home at curfew (it's a 68.00 ticket each time)....so she ended up taking them to and from the party and they are all in the house and I talked to my daughter just now...now I can go to sleep. I was putting my life on hold a bit, so I am happy to report I got out there and got my groove on!
VWGirl can i just say that i am amazed at how many AA and recovery associated dances and bands you get to go to. How big is the recovery community where you live as it sounds fantastic? And good on you for getting out and enjoying yourself, way to go.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Hey VWGirl...I agree with Zac. You sound like you have so much fun with sober people. I haven't really reached out except for this board. As much fun as you seem to have I may look into it though.
Sounds like you have definitely got your daughter's game on tilt. It's great. I bet she gets so mad at you. Did all of her little friend's know that it was her mom that put a wrench in their night?
Wow ....16 seems so young to me now and I am only 35. Hell I was having sex at 14 and they say they are growing up even faster these days. Crazy world we live in now. I applaud the great job and courage you show with her. It's almost like you are in a game of cat and mouse. Doesn't she realize that you know what she is gonna do before she even does it?? LOLOL..
Take care, Valarie
Sounds like you have definitely got your daughter's game on tilt. It's great. I bet she gets so mad at you. Did all of her little friend's know that it was her mom that put a wrench in their night?
Wow ....16 seems so young to me now and I am only 35. Hell I was having sex at 14 and they say they are growing up even faster these days. Crazy world we live in now. I applaud the great job and courage you show with her. It's almost like you are in a game of cat and mouse. Doesn't she realize that you know what she is gonna do before she even does it?? LOLOL..
Take care, Valarie
Hi you two, gosh I'm up so early with the time change...already been to the bank, to the gas station and to Starbucks!
Here in the beach community I live in just north of LAX we have over 4000 AA meetings locally on a weekly basis (our little beachy Alano club has over 50 meetings weekly just there); NA, CA, Alanon, and Alateen are huge here too. We have continual events every month...next month is Gratitude month and there is a lot of stuff going on associated with that. We also are involved in panels going out to psych wards, prisons and skid row...so it's not all fun, however immensely rewarding, and it is the ultimate way to be of service, I love that stufff...getting down in the trenches like that. We got it goin' on down here....recovery is a lot of fun (Val, the CM Alano club is a pretty active place I believe...you might want to try a meeting there, or you could come up here and come to a meeting with me or a dance....anytime).
Zac, when you come for a visit we'll go to a dance ~ and we can drag Ginge along. You guys are younger than me...but you know the 70s music, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Foghat, Free...and then they do some James Brown, KC and the Sunshine Band, Bill Withers....oh, and they played "Caress Me Down" by Sublime, it was there first time doing it. They did a great job. The girls all like the lead singer, he is a recovering dope fiend and my former next door neighbor; however I am surprised he still talks to me ~ as neighbors we were not so kind to each other...I'd get into shouting matches with him and scream "shut the f*** " up because he'd be tweakin' all night and despite my coke use, I was ready to pass out and hope to be able to come to for the work the next morning, I had called the cops several times on that apt...the Program has brought healing and we are really good friends now...we swap recovery books and chat on the phone...we've made our amends to each other, that's just how it works ~ I am blessed for all of the good friends I have in recovery and for my friends here in the little community too.
As for my daughter, yep Val, I got her number...and she hates it...her friends, or so called friends hate it too...in fact, she doesn't have a whole lot of the large group of punkers she was hangin' with around much, however there is a show today (about five punk bands are playing)....and it is from one to five, exactly where I went to the dance last night (across the street from sister's place) so if she stays in line, she can go....but she knows there is always the possibility that I will show up and jump in the mosh pit ~ lol!
Here in the beach community I live in just north of LAX we have over 4000 AA meetings locally on a weekly basis (our little beachy Alano club has over 50 meetings weekly just there); NA, CA, Alanon, and Alateen are huge here too. We have continual events every month...next month is Gratitude month and there is a lot of stuff going on associated with that. We also are involved in panels going out to psych wards, prisons and skid row...so it's not all fun, however immensely rewarding, and it is the ultimate way to be of service, I love that stufff...getting down in the trenches like that. We got it goin' on down here....recovery is a lot of fun (Val, the CM Alano club is a pretty active place I believe...you might want to try a meeting there, or you could come up here and come to a meeting with me or a dance....anytime).
Zac, when you come for a visit we'll go to a dance ~ and we can drag Ginge along. You guys are younger than me...but you know the 70s music, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Foghat, Free...and then they do some James Brown, KC and the Sunshine Band, Bill Withers....oh, and they played "Caress Me Down" by Sublime, it was there first time doing it. They did a great job. The girls all like the lead singer, he is a recovering dope fiend and my former next door neighbor; however I am surprised he still talks to me ~ as neighbors we were not so kind to each other...I'd get into shouting matches with him and scream "shut the f*** " up because he'd be tweakin' all night and despite my coke use, I was ready to pass out and hope to be able to come to for the work the next morning, I had called the cops several times on that apt...the Program has brought healing and we are really good friends now...we swap recovery books and chat on the phone...we've made our amends to each other, that's just how it works ~ I am blessed for all of the good friends I have in recovery and for my friends here in the little community too.
As for my daughter, yep Val, I got her number...and she hates it...her friends, or so called friends hate it too...in fact, she doesn't have a whole lot of the large group of punkers she was hangin' with around much, however there is a show today (about five punk bands are playing)....and it is from one to five, exactly where I went to the dance last night (across the street from sister's place) so if she stays in line, she can go....but she knows there is always the possibility that I will show up and jump in the mosh pit ~ lol!
Hi VWGirl,
I am up early as well. I was up when the time changed last night and I thought I had lost my mind. I was on the boards and was gonna start watching a movie at 2:00am....so at 1:58am I signed off and turned on my show and it was 1:00am. I was thinking I had finally lost it. I completely forgot about the time change.
I think it is great how you are so involved with your daughters. What does your older daughter think of her wild little sister? Just she just try to stay away from all the drama and lead her life? I forgot how old she is. Anyhow you keep up the good work my friend.
I will look into the meetings down here. Although I am still reluctant to go through AA. Not that it doesn't work for people. I know it does. I am just doing okay without it. I find that even on the boards sometimes when all I do is talk about booze I end up craving it. Oh well...that is my own baggage to carry. I always have a great excuse eh?
Take care and have a great sunday Geri!
I am up early as well. I was up when the time changed last night and I thought I had lost my mind. I was on the boards and was gonna start watching a movie at 2:00am....so at 1:58am I signed off and turned on my show and it was 1:00am. I was thinking I had finally lost it. I completely forgot about the time change.
I think it is great how you are so involved with your daughters. What does your older daughter think of her wild little sister? Just she just try to stay away from all the drama and lead her life? I forgot how old she is. Anyhow you keep up the good work my friend.
I will look into the meetings down here. Although I am still reluctant to go through AA. Not that it doesn't work for people. I know it does. I am just doing okay without it. I find that even on the boards sometimes when all I do is talk about booze I end up craving it. Oh well...that is my own baggage to carry. I always have a great excuse eh?
Take care and have a great sunday Geri!
You crack me up Val, about the time thing! Too funny!
Ya know the meetings I go to, well the shares are not so much about drinking but more about recovery, the solution...however, don't get me wrong when a newcomer shows up and reminds us all of what it was like out there and still is, well, for me, it puts me right into gratitude cause I know my misery can be refunded at any moment...especially since I'm an alcoholic; all I have to do is go to the liquor store, it's not like coke, where I'd have to get ahold of my connection and then hope he's got a stash....it was all so much work, the drug thing. But again, just because AA is working for me doesn't mean I feel it is right for everyone, it sometimes is the springboard to sobriety for some and some folks just don't want to do the whole recovery thing....it's a lot of hard work to uncover, discover and discard and to continually work the Steps and Traditions in ones life, but way easier than being an active alcoholic and addict, for me, I can only speak for me. So, I get that, totally.
As for my older daughter (she'll be twenty in a few months), well, she gets sick of her sister that's for sure...she doesn't even really like to be around her, neither does my sister...but her Grandparents still do...and me...well, most of the time I do...lol ~ it's that unconditional love thing we Moms have.
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
Ya know the meetings I go to, well the shares are not so much about drinking but more about recovery, the solution...however, don't get me wrong when a newcomer shows up and reminds us all of what it was like out there and still is, well, for me, it puts me right into gratitude cause I know my misery can be refunded at any moment...especially since I'm an alcoholic; all I have to do is go to the liquor store, it's not like coke, where I'd have to get ahold of my connection and then hope he's got a stash....it was all so much work, the drug thing. But again, just because AA is working for me doesn't mean I feel it is right for everyone, it sometimes is the springboard to sobriety for some and some folks just don't want to do the whole recovery thing....it's a lot of hard work to uncover, discover and discard and to continually work the Steps and Traditions in ones life, but way easier than being an active alcoholic and addict, for me, I can only speak for me. So, I get that, totally.
As for my older daughter (she'll be twenty in a few months), well, she gets sick of her sister that's for sure...she doesn't even really like to be around her, neither does my sister...but her Grandparents still do...and me...well, most of the time I do...lol ~ it's that unconditional love thing we Moms have.
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend.
Hello Ladies,
It is a beautiful Sunday here .
Got up early and went to my favorite Sunday 9am meeting and have been semi productive around the house which always feels good. My honey is taking me to dinner tonight Yum :).
Good to know everyone is doing well.
love,
C
It is a beautiful Sunday here .
Got up early and went to my favorite Sunday 9am meeting and have been semi productive around the house which always feels good. My honey is taking me to dinner tonight Yum :).
Good to know everyone is doing well.
love,
C
Hi VW...Are you near Manhattan Beach? My aunt lives there and I will be there in 3 weeks for a short visit...My daughter is playing in a huge field hockey festival in Palm Springs on Thanksgiving so I decided to take all 3 kids and go a little early and visit family...I also have a cousin in Studio City...
I live in NJ...the last time I was in SoCal was about 14 years ago so I am looking forward to it and to the warmer weather...
I used to go to Sober Dances...and they were so much fun...We had a pretty active group here but through the years...it waned...they still have a couple of dances a year though...
I remember my first one...I was so nervous about dancing but once I got over my nervousness I went out and danced and didn't care...and I still don't...
Love Gina
I live in NJ...the last time I was in SoCal was about 14 years ago so I am looking forward to it and to the warmer weather...
I used to go to Sober Dances...and they were so much fun...We had a pretty active group here but through the years...it waned...they still have a couple of dances a year though...
I remember my first one...I was so nervous about dancing but once I got over my nervousness I went out and danced and didn't care...and I still don't...
Love Gina
Hi VWGirl,
I just need to bite the bullet. I don't think I need the AA for getting sober but it would be nice to meet some new people who are sober. All of my "group" are a bunch of drunks in denial. I never realized just how much people drink until I quit. Oh well it is my torch to carry.
Glad you liked the time story. Here's a bit more of today and my pickled brain not being able to grasp the time change. First I went out shopping with my honey and we arrived an hour early so I had to stand around and get coffee and wait for the store to open. Once I figured out again about the time change we finished shopping and were gonna go down to Laguna for Lunch or Brunch or whatever. Well I said to my hubby, "Let's hit Las Brisas they open at noon I think!" He started laughing and said it was only 11:00am. Then he told me that he was gonna hang one of those big clocks around my neck like "Flavor Flav" on that VH1 reality show! LMAO It was too funny.You probably had to be there but I swear it was hilarious! Sometimes I really think I am losing my marbles! LOL
Your oldest daughter seems to "get it". That's great. At least you don't have two daughters that you have to tail and hit mosh pits with right? LOL
Have a good rest of the weekend pal!
How do Carol and Gina!
I just need to bite the bullet. I don't think I need the AA for getting sober but it would be nice to meet some new people who are sober. All of my "group" are a bunch of drunks in denial. I never realized just how much people drink until I quit. Oh well it is my torch to carry.
Glad you liked the time story. Here's a bit more of today and my pickled brain not being able to grasp the time change. First I went out shopping with my honey and we arrived an hour early so I had to stand around and get coffee and wait for the store to open. Once I figured out again about the time change we finished shopping and were gonna go down to Laguna for Lunch or Brunch or whatever. Well I said to my hubby, "Let's hit Las Brisas they open at noon I think!" He started laughing and said it was only 11:00am. Then he told me that he was gonna hang one of those big clocks around my neck like "Flavor Flav" on that VH1 reality show! LMAO It was too funny.You probably had to be there but I swear it was hilarious! Sometimes I really think I am losing my marbles! LOL
Your oldest daughter seems to "get it". That's great. At least you don't have two daughters that you have to tail and hit mosh pits with right? LOL
Have a good rest of the weekend pal!
How do Carol and Gina!
OMG, Gina, yes I am just down the road from Manhattan Beach in Redondo Beach...do you have time to go to a meeting when you are here or grab some coffee...you can send me an email message to me at vwgeri@verizon.net and I will give you my cell phone number...such a small world! I love Palm Springs too.
Yes, we have a very active recovery community here, very large and very fun! So, I am trying to stay connected, cause that's what this here drunk needs!
Drop me a line, I look forward to hearing from you!
Geri
PS - Hi Carolyn, Good to hear from you...you have yourself a good time at with your hunny; just got back myself...celebrated birthdays with my family and it was a really nice time. So good to be sober!
Yes, we have a very active recovery community here, very large and very fun! So, I am trying to stay connected, cause that's what this here drunk needs!
Drop me a line, I look forward to hearing from you!
Geri
PS - Hi Carolyn, Good to hear from you...you have yourself a good time at with your hunny; just got back myself...celebrated birthdays with my family and it was a really nice time. So good to be sober!
Hey VWGirl your on and i love to get out and shake my a*s, all that music i grew up with being carted from party to party with my brothers and being sober i can actually enjoy getting up and dancing although i do look like i'm having a fit when i dance. Hey Ginge you up to the challenge or does the thought of taking your shades off to dance worry youLOL
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Hi guys
VWGirl sounds like you have one busy life going on. I think its great you are being such a responsible parent.
I know what you mean about the newcomer reminding us of what it was like. So here's a story for you.
Yesterday as I was enjoying my first evening of daylight savings I went with an AA friend to a meeting down the central coast (about 90 mins from home). So the meeting is held just across the parking lot from this big club. It was about 5pm and on the grass next to the meeting hall is 5 young people.
Well one of them is off his tree - drugs, alcohol I don't know what. The guy is completely out of control, can't stand up for 2 seconds, ends up ripping all his clothes off - and I do mean ALL. stumbling around butt-born naked, puking and **itting himself. Out in public, broad daylight with a bunch of people around. His friends I think finally managed to get him into their car - hopefully they were taking him to hospital.
So if anyone was thinking hmmm maybe it would be a good idea to use or drink again - just a little reminder of the degradation and humiliation that is out there if you do.
VWGirl sounds like you have one busy life going on. I think its great you are being such a responsible parent.
I know what you mean about the newcomer reminding us of what it was like. So here's a story for you.
Yesterday as I was enjoying my first evening of daylight savings I went with an AA friend to a meeting down the central coast (about 90 mins from home). So the meeting is held just across the parking lot from this big club. It was about 5pm and on the grass next to the meeting hall is 5 young people.
Well one of them is off his tree - drugs, alcohol I don't know what. The guy is completely out of control, can't stand up for 2 seconds, ends up ripping all his clothes off - and I do mean ALL. stumbling around butt-born naked, puking and **itting himself. Out in public, broad daylight with a bunch of people around. His friends I think finally managed to get him into their car - hopefully they were taking him to hospital.
So if anyone was thinking hmmm maybe it would be a good idea to use or drink again - just a little reminder of the degradation and humiliation that is out there if you do.
I should have went to a sober halloween dance instead I decided to have several drinks. Those two drinks turned into 11 drinks. This is after 9 months in Moderation Manangement. I am starting to wonder if Moderation Management is working for me when I have blow outs like that. But I stuck to the By the Book limits for the first month and have been able to do that for several weeks at a time since. Too many blow out though. It is like sometimes I can stop at 2-3 drinks but sometimes can not and just lose control.
Cailyn
Cailyn
For me, Moderation Management never worked...but that was just for me, I tried every imaginable method to get sober but AA is what worked in the past and is working for me one day at a time now, and I been able to put together almost 3 years of sobriety one day at a time. That's how it was for me too, sometimes I could have 5 or 6 drinks and be fine, then sometimes I'd have a 12 pack of beer, couple of martinis and two bottles wine and bag of coke on the side to enable me to drink more...well, and you know what happens then...I had to hit a bottom of such an emotional nature that I was willing to do whatever it took to get sober. Good luck to you.
Hey Cailyn moderation management for me was not being able to steal enough to drink enough to go into blackout, but good luck i know for me that if i knew i had to tow the line i could for a while but then i had to breakout and it was never nice waking up after each of them.
Deep down i think i knew long before i stopped altogether but fear and addiction were married then and it wasn't till they broke up that i stopped drinking
Light and love Zac
Deep down i think i knew long before i stopped altogether but fear and addiction were married then and it wasn't till they broke up that i stopped drinking
Light and love Zac
VW girl, Zac and all.
I have been giving some very serious thought to leaving moderation management and going to AA instead. I would say going back to AA but I only went to two AA meetings so I don't know if one could call that going back or not.
Guess I am not quite done trying the moderation route, but I am very close. Many more blow outs like I had on halloween and I think I will just give up on the drinking altogether.
Cailyn
I have been giving some very serious thought to leaving moderation management and going to AA instead. I would say going back to AA but I only went to two AA meetings so I don't know if one could call that going back or not.
Guess I am not quite done trying the moderation route, but I am very close. Many more blow outs like I had on halloween and I think I will just give up on the drinking altogether.
Cailyn
Hey there Cailyn, I'm glad you are open to trying AA again...try to go with an open mind and look for the similarities not the differences. AA is a program of recovery, it's not just about stopping drinking you pick up tools that help you cope with life on life's terms without picking up a drink, at least that's how it works for me.
The way I understand it MM also has an abstinence only arm of MM.
But to me the people that would go the abstinence route in MM as opposed to AA are those who don't like the spiritual aspect of AA.
Well I am a Born Again Christain so the spiritual aspect of AA doesn't bother me any. So if I am going to go the abstinence route I will go with AA, not MM.
Plus I have found I like the people in AA better than I do the people in MM.
Some of the people in MM act like their educational, economic level in life is going to save them. They do not understand obviously that alcohol is no respecter of persons. One's educational level, intelligence, or economic level is not going to help at all when it comes to alcohol.
Alcohol doesn't care how rich or smart you are, are are not. It has an equal opprotunity for addiction for everyone. It does not discriminate.
Cailyn
But to me the people that would go the abstinence route in MM as opposed to AA are those who don't like the spiritual aspect of AA.
Well I am a Born Again Christain so the spiritual aspect of AA doesn't bother me any. So if I am going to go the abstinence route I will go with AA, not MM.
Plus I have found I like the people in AA better than I do the people in MM.
Some of the people in MM act like their educational, economic level in life is going to save them. They do not understand obviously that alcohol is no respecter of persons. One's educational level, intelligence, or economic level is not going to help at all when it comes to alcohol.
Alcohol doesn't care how rich or smart you are, are are not. It has an equal opprotunity for addiction for everyone. It does not discriminate.
Cailyn
Hi Cailyn, Are you the same Cailyn who posted here a while back, if so, welcome back and if not welcome!
Yes VW Girl, This is the same Cailyn. You all helped me stay sober for seven weeks back in January and Febuary of this year. I coundn't have stayed sober that long even without you all helping me to do so.
I had some real bad problems with PAWS. I don't believe in paws except in that it happened to me. Perhaps I should just taper down first and then quit this time instead of going cold turkey?
Cailyn
I had some real bad problems with PAWS. I don't believe in paws except in that it happened to me. Perhaps I should just taper down first and then quit this time instead of going cold turkey?
Cailyn
