I'm looking for devangreb2 or to anybody that has read my post, I'm not sure I'm doing this right but I'm tring to catch on. I'm seeking for answer's if there any? I was told that you have to be a heroin addict to understand one, well you see I have lived a very straight and honest life, thanks to my hard working parents and there honesty but stricted rules, even though when I was a young girl we lived in a low income invironment with plenty riff-raff offering you free drugs so you can get hooked and pay the concequence latter, anyways I prays the lord for being strong and not letting myself try any kind of drugs! Yes, I used to drink and smoke ciggs on an occation but I stopped about 6yrs ago, now that I'm a mother of two and one on the way, my son is 15yrs old and my daughter is 2yrs old and I'm 3 months PG. I'll be 38yrs old this May, I have been experiencing a war between my husband and his heroin addiction, his tried several times to stop but has been failing himself and us as a family for the third time in our 8 year marriage. I would like it very much if there was someone out there who can help me understand and tell me about there own personal experience or something becuase I love my husband and I'm so very affriad for us and for our children.
lali, welcome to the board!
Yes, you do have a tough row to hoe....
Is he ready to quit? I mean really really ready, for himself, not just his family?
You may want to copy and paste your post to the family/friends forum.
Click on Main Categories and then family/friends.
There are some great people on all the boards, but these people can give you an idea of what to do or expect.
Have you thought of going to Alanon? The face to face support of this program can probably help you immeasurably.
Yes, you do have a tough row to hoe....
Is he ready to quit? I mean really really ready, for himself, not just his family?
You may want to copy and paste your post to the family/friends forum.
Click on Main Categories and then family/friends.
There are some great people on all the boards, but these people can give you an idea of what to do or expect.
Have you thought of going to Alanon? The face to face support of this program can probably help you immeasurably.
Dear Lali,
I was talking to my son about this today. He made a comment to me that he's gotten this far, he doesn't see himself ever trying it again. I asked him what made him do it in the first place. He looked puzzled, shrugged his shoulders, and in all sincerity said, "I don't know." I am grateful for the blessing of today and pray for his continued recovery.
I truly think his girlfriend (who we later learned had struggled with addiction for 8 years) enticed him into it so that he would also provide and get hers so she didn't have to take any chances. Once he tried it, HE WAS HOOKED!!!! He got to the point where he couldn't hold a job and his days were consumed with coming up with ways to get his drugs. He wrote bad checks, maxed several credit cards, and resorted to retail theft (having a lot of legal consequences to face - probation, fines, and a little jail time because we didn't post bail). He's a GOOD guy, a very nice guy (liked by everyone young and old), a caring guy, a Christian, an intelligent guy, a handsome guy. He had everything going for him, he just made a TERRIBLE, COSTLY choice.
My prayers are with you!
God bless!
Susan
I was talking to my son about this today. He made a comment to me that he's gotten this far, he doesn't see himself ever trying it again. I asked him what made him do it in the first place. He looked puzzled, shrugged his shoulders, and in all sincerity said, "I don't know." I am grateful for the blessing of today and pray for his continued recovery.
I truly think his girlfriend (who we later learned had struggled with addiction for 8 years) enticed him into it so that he would also provide and get hers so she didn't have to take any chances. Once he tried it, HE WAS HOOKED!!!! He got to the point where he couldn't hold a job and his days were consumed with coming up with ways to get his drugs. He wrote bad checks, maxed several credit cards, and resorted to retail theft (having a lot of legal consequences to face - probation, fines, and a little jail time because we didn't post bail). He's a GOOD guy, a very nice guy (liked by everyone young and old), a caring guy, a Christian, an intelligent guy, a handsome guy. He had everything going for him, he just made a TERRIBLE, COSTLY choice.
My prayers are with you!
God bless!
Susan
Lali, you posted to me:
"Janet thank you for your reply, at this point my husband left, if you read the post I first wrote, it's at devangreb2, then you will understand that I don't think my husband will admit that he is an addict. Every time. when I shut off all ways of money to his reach or resource in any aspect. he runs away".
I'm sorry to say that until he admits that he needs help and he has reached bottom, is sick and tired of being sick and tired, he will do nothing for his recovery. Us addicts love to wallow in our misery, we don't mean to hurt others, it's just that going after our drugs and using is mind consuming.
Can you get a babysitter so that you can go to an Alanon meeting? Even once a week would give you some tools to work your own recovery from your addict.
God Bless You and your babies!!!
"Janet thank you for your reply, at this point my husband left, if you read the post I first wrote, it's at devangreb2, then you will understand that I don't think my husband will admit that he is an addict. Every time. when I shut off all ways of money to his reach or resource in any aspect. he runs away".
I'm sorry to say that until he admits that he needs help and he has reached bottom, is sick and tired of being sick and tired, he will do nothing for his recovery. Us addicts love to wallow in our misery, we don't mean to hurt others, it's just that going after our drugs and using is mind consuming.
Can you get a babysitter so that you can go to an Alanon meeting? Even once a week would give you some tools to work your own recovery from your addict.
God Bless You and your babies!!!
Welcome Lali, Sorry under such awful circumstances, but welcome all the same.....you have come to the right place....especially asking for Susan/Devangrab as she is an amazing, compassionate, and true friend to all of us here....she has helped me many, many times.
I am a heroin addict....I will be clean two years in May....I noticed how you described your upbringing, and the lure of the dealers, and you prayed to never do it.....and you passed over it.....THE FACE OF AN ADDICT....that's what really surprises people....families, friends, stranger, and even ourselves....you will find heroin does not discriminate....EVER...we are from all professions, different educational backgrounds and some with none at all....ultimately we are all someone's daughter, mom, son, friend, lover, cousin, father, and so on.
We also almost all have at least one person who loves us....in life that's all you need though to get by, BUT BUT we don't love ourselves....I am certain your husband loves you, and the children, but he can't stand himself.....oddly though we are selfish people while in our addiction...still self-loathing.
Like Susan said....her son was not even sure why he did drugs....I never, ever did drugs growing up or as a young adult....at age 35 I became a heroin addict.
I would long ago answered the same as Susan's son....not sure why I used it.
In the longrun through counseling....thankfully through a rehab....I found the answer as to why I do believe I did it....that was the catalyst for getting me to finally wake the heck up, and stay clean.
YOU have to take care of your children first of course, but also YOU before you worry about your husband....heroin as you've seen is an extremely evil drug, and sometimes no matter how hard we want to beat it....well you see that, but it can be done....you will find that on here....if I could do it than ANYONE can.
He just needs to want it bad enough....it's his choice.
Hope you find the solace many, many of us have found on here....there's wonderful people here....the family section will truly help you, but us addicts here too share with families.....they help us....we all look out for eachother.
Please stay, and hopefully you'll get help.....and your husband will as well.
I am a heroin addict....I will be clean two years in May....I noticed how you described your upbringing, and the lure of the dealers, and you prayed to never do it.....and you passed over it.....THE FACE OF AN ADDICT....that's what really surprises people....families, friends, stranger, and even ourselves....you will find heroin does not discriminate....EVER...we are from all professions, different educational backgrounds and some with none at all....ultimately we are all someone's daughter, mom, son, friend, lover, cousin, father, and so on.
We also almost all have at least one person who loves us....in life that's all you need though to get by, BUT BUT we don't love ourselves....I am certain your husband loves you, and the children, but he can't stand himself.....oddly though we are selfish people while in our addiction...still self-loathing.
Like Susan said....her son was not even sure why he did drugs....I never, ever did drugs growing up or as a young adult....at age 35 I became a heroin addict.
I would long ago answered the same as Susan's son....not sure why I used it.
In the longrun through counseling....thankfully through a rehab....I found the answer as to why I do believe I did it....that was the catalyst for getting me to finally wake the heck up, and stay clean.
YOU have to take care of your children first of course, but also YOU before you worry about your husband....heroin as you've seen is an extremely evil drug, and sometimes no matter how hard we want to beat it....well you see that, but it can be done....you will find that on here....if I could do it than ANYONE can.
He just needs to want it bad enough....it's his choice.
Hope you find the solace many, many of us have found on here....there's wonderful people here....the family section will truly help you, but us addicts here too share with families.....they help us....we all look out for eachother.
Please stay, and hopefully you'll get help.....and your husband will as well.
..Welcome to the board Lali..
..Hope you stick around and find the answers your looking for for your husbands addiction..good luck to you all..Robbie..
..Hope you stick around and find the answers your looking for for your husbands addiction..good luck to you all..Robbie..
