Alright..all....basically the jist of this is last week i gave into temptation..call it a lapse..or whatever..but i went out and scored..used for two days..no needles just a smoke..but after 10mnth.clean i gave it all up.As they say you pick up before ya actually do..which i did.I know it was just a once off..coz the guilt&shame i experianced afterwards was really bad..and i never wanna go there again.I really let my mum down as she knew straight away that id used.What made me do it i dont know?
One reason i think is i had a 5yr.saving account that came out then so i suppose i thought id give myself a lil treat..bulls*** excuses..i know.Its taken me a week or two to build up the mental strength to get this off my chest..it was goin round and round in my head making me feel more lowdown.Im gonna put it past me coz i cant dwell on it..but i feel really dumb for letting myself and as i see it all you good people here down.Thats the scenario...so the struggle continues.
Take care all........Davey
im a total novice at all this drug stuff but it sounds like no body could give you a harder time then you're giveing you're self.
keep you're head up and stay strong
keep you're head up and stay strong
Hi Davey, I reckon sometimes we just have a moment of doubt, and want to revisit the badlands just to reassure ourselves that they're still there. I used to find the whole thing of "never again" a bitter pill to swallow. I still do to some extent. I still occasionally feel a pang of nostalgia, a feeling of grief for the love I left behind me, and think that I'd like to lie in the sweet arms of Morpheous, again. And there were times in the past, when I was still struggling with trying to get clean, where I'd go and score, because I wanted to make sure that everything was still the same, and the door hadn't closed behind me.
Just put it down to experience, and move on. Yeah, you scored. You didn't die, and you didn't get arrested. You were lucky. So just carry on the way you have been. Don't let it be the start of something bad. Spend some time feeling grateful for the way your life has improved since you got clean, and hang onto that. You know what lies behind you, and you know that you don't want to go back there. But you don't know what wonders and joys lie ahead of you. You can't go back, and you can't stand still. All you can do is move forward.
take care
love
diff xxxx
Just put it down to experience, and move on. Yeah, you scored. You didn't die, and you didn't get arrested. You were lucky. So just carry on the way you have been. Don't let it be the start of something bad. Spend some time feeling grateful for the way your life has improved since you got clean, and hang onto that. You know what lies behind you, and you know that you don't want to go back there. But you don't know what wonders and joys lie ahead of you. You can't go back, and you can't stand still. All you can do is move forward.
take care
love
diff xxxx
Aw Davey, But you told on yourself. That is so huge. Keeping it a secret makes it fester and grow. It's a lapse my friend and completely in your power to make it stay that way. I'm so proud of your coming here and getting it off your chest. You know all the reasons why it can't continue so I won't go there. Please know that we still love you and know it takes an awful strong man to do what you just did. Take good care Davey. You're the best!
Beck
Beck
..Davey..
..Beck's right mate..takes a strong person to admit to a relapse..even strong minded people have moments of weakness..you know wot ya gotta do..don't beat yaself up over it..ya did wot ya did..just try dust yaself down and stay strong for yaself and sian..take it easy mate..good luck ; )..Robbie..
..Beck's right mate..takes a strong person to admit to a relapse..even strong minded people have moments of weakness..you know wot ya gotta do..don't beat yaself up over it..ya did wot ya did..just try dust yaself down and stay strong for yaself and sian..take it easy mate..good luck ; )..Robbie..
Thanks folks..yer right it took a lot of courage to admit to my lapse..and yeh it was wrecking my head..but i feel a whole lot better for coming clean ..no pun intended.As yall said i gotta look to the future and just put it down to experiance..as the mods say recovery is a long long process and ive realised that now more than ever.
Take care all.........Davey
Take care all.........Davey
Davey, all of us take steps backwards in this life sometimes....the good part is we usually don't go all the way back..and you haven't. Write down all your accomplishments in the last months...and focus on that, not your slip-up. You have come a long way....just the fact that you would admit your slip shows your progress. You're still on the rise, Davey. it is a process. luv corrinne
Dear Davey,
I'm so proud of you for admitting it (because we surely wouldn't have known if you didn't) and for getting right back on the right track so quickly! I remember I was really upset when I saw some signs of my son's lapse but people on here told me that to get clean and never expect any lapse is unrealistic. There is usually at least one....so let's put that behind you like you said and keep on moving in the right direction. We love you and we're here for you! I'll keep praying for you to have the strength to battle that temptation.
Love,
Susan
I'm so proud of you for admitting it (because we surely wouldn't have known if you didn't) and for getting right back on the right track so quickly! I remember I was really upset when I saw some signs of my son's lapse but people on here told me that to get clean and never expect any lapse is unrealistic. There is usually at least one....so let's put that behind you like you said and keep on moving in the right direction. We love you and we're here for you! I'll keep praying for you to have the strength to battle that temptation.
Love,
Susan
YO.......MB#1.
Not much more can be said.....we got your back!
Not much more can be said.....we got your back!
Sorry to hear about you falling off, but it happens. I know a guy was clean 17 years then one day he goes wild. Almost ended it all. But he came back around. were all just one shot, one hit, one snort, one puff away from getting right back into it.
Please don't beat yourself up. Just try to take something away from it. Try to make it a learning experience. It'll help you figure out what your triggers are, and to avoid them. It takes a long long time to re-learn how to live life on life's terms. After all that's why some of use picked up in the first place. Keep at it man. Your not lone.
Please don't beat yourself up. Just try to take something away from it. Try to make it a learning experience. It'll help you figure out what your triggers are, and to avoid them. It takes a long long time to re-learn how to live life on life's terms. After all that's why some of use picked up in the first place. Keep at it man. Your not lone.
Hm. just saw this, cos i was reading your answer to tinman and was wondering about what you worte....well not much more can be said that hasnt already......ya slipped, but ya got back up and thats all that matters..........glad you r back davey.......and being a mom........I know she might have been upset, but believe me she is so grateful that you r back on track, she just loves you and worries about you and hopefully you can learn from this about how you can prevent it from happening again............Love to you and sian
There must be something in the air- - I almost did the same thing , for whatever reason I stopped myself.
Well ya slipped- - big deal. Now you get to start all over,a little wiser. You know the deal better then most.
As Diff said (and so did the Grateful Dead) "you cant go back,and you cant stand still, if the thunder doesnt get ya the lighting will"
move on ....
your friend,
jack
Well ya slipped- - big deal. Now you get to start all over,a little wiser. You know the deal better then most.
As Diff said (and so did the Grateful Dead) "you cant go back,and you cant stand still, if the thunder doesnt get ya the lighting will"
move on ....
your friend,
jack
Davey,
You said to me earlier this week what a difference a day makes!! Dont be too ashamed of yourself. Temptation got the better of you but just put it down as a bad experience. It happens to us all in some sort of situation. I personally have never touched heroin but I can see why people try it but its hyped up to make you feel so good, but with the good its got so many bad points and I dont think there is ever a happy ending with this drug.
Question for ya....How long does it take to rely on this drug? I mean how many times before you need it again?? My partner only had it a few times before he relied on it and am just curious. Can you have it on a one off and not rely on having to have it again??
You done the best thing by admiting what you done. Worst thing about being on heroin in you cant face the truth, cant tell the truth and wont admit to anything which might get ya into trouble. Ya see you dont have that problem cos you will come through this little relapse and you may feel guilty for it now but always remember the guilt afterwards!!
Take care matey..thinking of you.
Lynds xx
You said to me earlier this week what a difference a day makes!! Dont be too ashamed of yourself. Temptation got the better of you but just put it down as a bad experience. It happens to us all in some sort of situation. I personally have never touched heroin but I can see why people try it but its hyped up to make you feel so good, but with the good its got so many bad points and I dont think there is ever a happy ending with this drug.
Question for ya....How long does it take to rely on this drug? I mean how many times before you need it again?? My partner only had it a few times before he relied on it and am just curious. Can you have it on a one off and not rely on having to have it again??
You done the best thing by admiting what you done. Worst thing about being on heroin in you cant face the truth, cant tell the truth and wont admit to anything which might get ya into trouble. Ya see you dont have that problem cos you will come through this little relapse and you may feel guilty for it now but always remember the guilt afterwards!!
Take care matey..thinking of you.
Lynds xx
Hey Davey, Good on you for getting it off your chest, there is nothing worse that carrying around guilt, it just eats away at you. THink everyone else has just about said it all, so won't go on but look at it this way you had a little laspe....maybe got rid of a curiosity....maybe learnt that the guilt after made it not worth it...whatever,...it happened, but you are moving on...like you said recovery is a loooong process! Thinking of you. Sasha xx
Davey,
It's alright.........it sure is........and we all have mad respect for you.........we care so much for you...........and ya know what? You care for yourself........you're honest.........you know we don't got an ounce of honesty when we're in the thick of it.........and like others said........there's people
"LAPSE" got in many years.........it's not a relapse.......thanks for telling us, Davey.......it's going to be just fine because like ya said........you ain't going back out there.
WOW, mom's right? They're like psychics and stuff.........LOL......as long as your mom knows it was a mistake.......and you've faced it and carried on....Jack, is so right though.......is it the air........the planets.....cheeesh.....hang on there, Davey..........ya done just fine and today is a brand new day.......I hear ya about the "treat"..........that money I tell ya it can lead to all kinds of stuff......but like they say carry on, and...............
"AIN'T NUTTIN BUT A CHICKEN WING".......that means chell.....no biggie.
It's alright.........it sure is........and we all have mad respect for you.........we care so much for you...........and ya know what? You care for yourself........you're honest.........you know we don't got an ounce of honesty when we're in the thick of it.........and like others said........there's people
"LAPSE" got in many years.........it's not a relapse.......thanks for telling us, Davey.......it's going to be just fine because like ya said........you ain't going back out there.
WOW, mom's right? They're like psychics and stuff.........LOL......as long as your mom knows it was a mistake.......and you've faced it and carried on....Jack, is so right though.......is it the air........the planets.....cheeesh.....hang on there, Davey..........ya done just fine and today is a brand new day.......I hear ya about the "treat"..........that money I tell ya it can lead to all kinds of stuff......but like they say carry on, and...............
"AIN'T NUTTIN BUT A CHICKEN WING".......that means chell.....no biggie.
Alright..all..just wanna say how thankfull i am for yer responses..had to get it off my chest coz it was doin doing my head in..just the fact that i could come on here and load of my anger,shame ,guilt..whatever off and get such great support means a lot...thats the essence of this board i think ..a place to come and offload..those negetive thoughts.
Take care all..and thank you..........Davey
Take care all..and thank you..........Davey
We got ya, Davey.
Hope you're feeling better........ain't it something how clean we must tell the truth.......it works though, right........think back to how we used to lie our butts off............like it was nothing........never thought about it.......you're a truly good human being, Davey.......none of that is in your nature........it's alright.
((((((Cyber Hugz))))))) That is like so mushy......just had to do it though....love to Sian and your mom too......you got your girls you do.
Hope you're feeling better........ain't it something how clean we must tell the truth.......it works though, right........think back to how we used to lie our butts off............like it was nothing........never thought about it.......you're a truly good human being, Davey.......none of that is in your nature........it's alright.
((((((Cyber Hugz))))))) That is like so mushy......just had to do it though....love to Sian and your mom too......you got your girls you do.
