My brother is a complete liar, talk about taking the piss, im so angry this morning, found the "h" again and foils and cotton wool. what would cotton wool be used for? Hes such a liar, he convinced everybody he was off the s*** and all this time hes never came off it, i wanna throw stuff and go crazy, but what im gonna do is gonna be worse than that im washing my hands of him, i cant have someone like him in my life around my kids or me, he repulses me.
He has got the dealers going to my mums house to drop off the "H", i really feel for my mum as she is so against drugs and shes so hurt by all this.
We thought he was trying with the subbies and we all knew he would relapse but to find out the liar hasnt even came off it, makes me so cross, hes got more devious than what he was being, i cant put myself in his company as all i want to do it hurt him like hes doing to my parents.
Hes a complete waste of space.
Usually ...it's "VERY EASY" to tell if someone has kicked the habit. It's honestly Not that easy to fool the family when they know the addicts appearence and actions. I bet you knew he was not clean. I've always been able to spot a million miles away when my brother is in his active use. I can tell when he's been off a few days too. Anyhow, You can not make him quit. YOU CAN be there for sober support when he needs it. DON'T give him ANY money... don't deal with him when's he's high. DON'T allow him over when he's using. YOU CAN TELL when a person is high just LOOK at his eyes listen to him talk. If his eyes are glassy/ dark "in gereral" look funny he's sluring words "great chance he's using". As for your mom she don't have to put up with him. Sit him down tell him rehad NOW make a effort or MOVE OUT!. He might just move out your mom don't need dealers or users at her home. #1 MISTAKE family makes is in trying to protect the user they "make sure he's feed , gotta roof over head, give him cash," you can't do that he's a adult he don't need A diaper. He won't STOP untill he sees the choices he made cause him harm when he's went to jail, been homeless, owns nothing, debt out the rear end, he might want to stop. If he can use in comfort by god he will. He has no motovation to stop if he still lives at home dealers deliver to him. HAVE MOM CALL THE POLICE when a strange car is outside. I used 4 years never got a home delivery i've had to walk miles to meet my man. It concerns me a lot for you to say..... We all knew he would relapse. That's not fair to anyone. If it takes him 1 or 21 times to get clean don't push it off as well he'll just use again. He don't need that from anyone. YEAH he might slip up what's important is the EFFORT to make the change. He might not get it together the 1st few tries HARDLEY ANYONE DOSE!. Don't be a negative in his recovery if he makes a mistake let it go help him start again. Have some faith people do change i see here EVERYDAY! he's no diffrent.
Shell, that stinks.......sorry you were let down......don't feel the fool that you believed him.......you wanted for him so bad to be clean......and we're also fabulous liars........when you want something so bad and ya got someone telling bold faced lies.....well you're going to believe it.
I hate to say this.......the day you saw him at the store......then ya saw the dealer outside.......I at that moment figured and thought "Well he's using"....you were kind enough to give him the benefit of the doubt......didn't listen to that sixth sense........we have it for a reason.......I still had hope though.
Also when you said he was still hanging with his old friends.......BAM the red flag went up for me......you're a good person and a wonderful sister......you tried to help him......it's not on you........every one of us on drugs lied constantly.
It's nothing to us to just make stuff up as we go along........tell ya the sky is purple if it would help keep others out of our hair.......and allow for us to get our dope and have our nod........sorry, Shell...........remember it's not on you.
*****Oh I agree also that you saying he'd never quit, and couldn't do it....well I also think that's not a good thing.........you may be saying it right now as you are hurt and angry..........people thought the same of all of us here......the 'ol they'll NEVER stop.........we did though......again sorry for your pain*********
I hate to say this.......the day you saw him at the store......then ya saw the dealer outside.......I at that moment figured and thought "Well he's using"....you were kind enough to give him the benefit of the doubt......didn't listen to that sixth sense........we have it for a reason.......I still had hope though.
Also when you said he was still hanging with his old friends.......BAM the red flag went up for me......you're a good person and a wonderful sister......you tried to help him......it's not on you........every one of us on drugs lied constantly.
It's nothing to us to just make stuff up as we go along........tell ya the sky is purple if it would help keep others out of our hair.......and allow for us to get our dope and have our nod........sorry, Shell...........remember it's not on you.
*****Oh I agree also that you saying he'd never quit, and couldn't do it....well I also think that's not a good thing.........you may be saying it right now as you are hurt and angry..........people thought the same of all of us here......the 'ol they'll NEVER stop.........we did though......again sorry for your pain*********
Alright..Michelle...firstly..sorry for all the s*** yer bro is puttin ya thru..after the positive&happy posts..when you thought he was making an effort.The cottons you sussed might be used when cooking up smack for injection..i hope he hasnt gone down that road..but a habits a habit.Bryn as ever is spot on us addicts would sell you bottled air..if we could get a few quid outta it.The lies,pure blatant lies,bulls***,that ive come out with when i was active,would shame the devil,but thats the pull of the drug..all you want is to get yer gear&use..and anyone in the way can in the addicts mind be pawned off with stuff a bad standup comic would never use.Its up to yer bro to sort his life out..sounds harsh&may go against yer gut feeling,but he has to wake up someday&say enough,you doin yer head in aint really gonna give him that wakeup call.Focus on you&yer kids..im not saying drop him completly..but make some rules up &stick to them.
Take care..Davey
Take care..Davey
Hi there, well, he lied to you. Try not to take it personally, it's just the nature of the beast. It's what we do. You know the old joke... how do you tell if a junkie is lying? His lips are moving... I know it's not funny, but you might as well know what you are dealing with. He lies to you because he knows it's what you want to hear. He takes no pleasure in hurting you, and none of his behaviour stems from a desire to hurt you, but you have to understand that the pull of heroin is stronger than anything you will have experienced yourself.
When an addict is in active use, then the person you know and love is at the mercy of the addiction. Just as if they were being held prisoner. The addiction is in the ascendency, and the addiction serves nothing but itself. I was told to look at it as if you (the addicted person) are two people. You, the unique and irreplacable person you were born as, and your addict. And all addicts are essentially the same. They lie, they cheat, they steal, they do anything to survive, and they don't care who they hurt, as long as they get their own way. You are a victim of the addicts insatiable desire to continue with their task, and their only purpose is to obtain (by any means) and consume heroin.
As a family member/loved one of an addict, please understand that there is very little you can do. Don't financially support the addict. Don't provide a roof over their heads. And don't trust them. I take it that it was some sort of family pressure that prompted him to say he had started subs and was off heroin. When the addicted person comes to you, without any prompting, and says that they are under going treatment and are serious about getting off smack, then you can perhaps think about believing them. Where I live, drug testing kits are available from my local drugs team, but you can probably get hold of them off the internet or through a drugs support agency. If your brother tells you he is clean, then feel no guilt about asking him to prove it. A testing kit can differentiate from subs and methadone and heroin, so even if he's on a substitute drug, the testing kit will show if he has used heroin within the past 3 days.
The addict has to learn the hard way, and the more you cut off support then the harder you are making it for the addict within to survive, and the more likely it is that the person suffering from addiction will make efforts to conquer their addiction. I'm sure you'll get sob stories about poverty, homelessness etc, but addicts are very resourceful. And you have to remember that it IS a choice. When in the grip of addiction, it's easy to believe that you have no choice, but if life gets tough enough, you start to realise that it is a choice, and there are better ways of living.
I hope you learn to detach yourself, and look after yourself.
Best wishes
Diff x
When an addict is in active use, then the person you know and love is at the mercy of the addiction. Just as if they were being held prisoner. The addiction is in the ascendency, and the addiction serves nothing but itself. I was told to look at it as if you (the addicted person) are two people. You, the unique and irreplacable person you were born as, and your addict. And all addicts are essentially the same. They lie, they cheat, they steal, they do anything to survive, and they don't care who they hurt, as long as they get their own way. You are a victim of the addicts insatiable desire to continue with their task, and their only purpose is to obtain (by any means) and consume heroin.
As a family member/loved one of an addict, please understand that there is very little you can do. Don't financially support the addict. Don't provide a roof over their heads. And don't trust them. I take it that it was some sort of family pressure that prompted him to say he had started subs and was off heroin. When the addicted person comes to you, without any prompting, and says that they are under going treatment and are serious about getting off smack, then you can perhaps think about believing them. Where I live, drug testing kits are available from my local drugs team, but you can probably get hold of them off the internet or through a drugs support agency. If your brother tells you he is clean, then feel no guilt about asking him to prove it. A testing kit can differentiate from subs and methadone and heroin, so even if he's on a substitute drug, the testing kit will show if he has used heroin within the past 3 days.
The addict has to learn the hard way, and the more you cut off support then the harder you are making it for the addict within to survive, and the more likely it is that the person suffering from addiction will make efforts to conquer their addiction. I'm sure you'll get sob stories about poverty, homelessness etc, but addicts are very resourceful. And you have to remember that it IS a choice. When in the grip of addiction, it's easy to believe that you have no choice, but if life gets tough enough, you start to realise that it is a choice, and there are better ways of living.
I hope you learn to detach yourself, and look after yourself.
Best wishes
Diff x
