Hi, everyone. I quit drinking in January, afte a good 12-year run with partying, drinking...started out as sooo much fun...just 18, job in a bar...how very trendy and cool when you're so yung. Now, at age 30, three kids and two ex-husbands later, I quit. I don't regret the ex-husbands. My question is, its been just about 10 months. when will I feel like a normal person? Normal to me is mixing a cranberry/orange vodka in a sippy cup so I can function enough to get the kids off to school. I still cry a lot, i guess unresolved guilt? I turned into this awful person, to my kids, esp..Now, after I quit driniking, my ex is fighting me for custody of my 2 year old, claiming alcoholism. he still drinks! oh wel.. thats why hes an ex. take me to court AFTER I quit drinking. that makes sense.
In the beginning of this sobriety thing, I couldnt sit still, cried at the drop of a pin, i just for the life of me couldnt make sense out of anything. of course, I was one of those who thought I didnt have a problem..now that I quit, I know I was probably one of the worst drunks in the universe, and probasbly not that great of a mom at the time. no physical abuse, just I guess not enough attention, didnt want to go anywhere, etc. always did the necessities..but nobody was happy. I see that now. Now, everyone is happy and I am still confused. What is going on, and when will this stop? When will I feel like I deserve to be happy again?
Dear famat74 - I know how you feel. I have been sober for 1 month. My alcohol abuse was affecting my children and I didn't want them to grow up "to be like mom" so I went to detox, I take Naltrexone to help eliminate the cravings for alcohol, I have been going to some AA meeting and getting help from a professional counselor. But there are many days when I feel anything but normal. I have been overcome with guilt and I don't know why. Maybe its guilt from behaving the way I did. I always wanted to be supermom and superwife, but we live in the real world and it's just not possible. Famat74 have you gotten any help from anyone? It is so much harder to do this alone. You should feel very proud of yourself now that you have quite. You're a good person and a better mom for having done that. I went through a four year custody battle with my ex so I know how you feel. With that kind of stress in your life you need to have someone to talk to. Under those circumstances you feel like the whole world is against you. Hang in there. Your children will really look up to you for fighting the good fight. Please let me know how you're doing.
You said yourself that "now everyone is happy" that should tell you something. That your doing something right. I'm proud of you. I'm sure its been a long struggle. Keep it up. Things will get better. It sounds like you have alot of stress in your life right now and I agree, its hard to go it alone. Try to get someone to talk to. Having a 2 year old is stress in itself. Keep up the good work. My prayers are with you.......Briar
A book i read, "A thinkings persons book to drinking" said it can take up to 2 full years for brain chemistry and such to revert back to "normal", so much for the instant gratifacation alcohol gave me =)
i'm 25 and been drinking since i was about 14. I've been sober since march of this year, that makesss 7 months, and life doesn't feel liked it changed much but mornings with hangovers, blackouts, hiding things i've done while drinking, dui's, hidding booze all seem to be missing. it's funny now that i've stopped drinking for so lot (28 days was my longest stretch before) i notice a lot more when other people are drinking heavily.
I've also been going to therepy and on 20 mg of lexapro ( my crazy drug of choice is a combo of anti-depressant and anti- anxiet med) and i think i've found mistakes and habits i need to work on but i don't think i've made so call leaps and bounds. but i'm waiting it out to see what happens.
All this came together in march when my brother passed away and it has deffinately given me some motivation to fix problems and my brain instead of numbing it away with alcohol
James
i'm 25 and been drinking since i was about 14. I've been sober since march of this year, that makesss 7 months, and life doesn't feel liked it changed much but mornings with hangovers, blackouts, hiding things i've done while drinking, dui's, hidding booze all seem to be missing. it's funny now that i've stopped drinking for so lot (28 days was my longest stretch before) i notice a lot more when other people are drinking heavily.
I've also been going to therepy and on 20 mg of lexapro ( my crazy drug of choice is a combo of anti-depressant and anti- anxiet med) and i think i've found mistakes and habits i need to work on but i don't think i've made so call leaps and bounds. but i'm waiting it out to see what happens.
All this came together in march when my brother passed away and it has deffinately given me some motivation to fix problems and my brain instead of numbing it away with alcohol
James
Hi all,
I am 26 and I have finally stopped binge drinking. My daughter is happier, my husband is happier, I am finally happy. The hardest part was telling myself I would never drink again.Try to think of the positive steps we are all taking. We are so strong! We never have to worry about drinking and driving, or feeling sick in the morning, or thinking" what the hell did I do last night".Every day we are stronger and stronger.We will do this together!!! I find it very helpful when I start to think about drinking, I come on this site or I think about one of you and it helps pull me through. I am thinking about you! You can do this.
I am 26 and I have finally stopped binge drinking. My daughter is happier, my husband is happier, I am finally happy. The hardest part was telling myself I would never drink again.Try to think of the positive steps we are all taking. We are so strong! We never have to worry about drinking and driving, or feeling sick in the morning, or thinking" what the hell did I do last night".Every day we are stronger and stronger.We will do this together!!! I find it very helpful when I start to think about drinking, I come on this site or I think about one of you and it helps pull me through. I am thinking about you! You can do this.
The sober life is a journey of change and peronal growth. While we were drinking we became stagnant. Now that we are sober we begin to move forward again in maturity. Some depression post the initial withdrawl is normal and as another person pointed out, it takes about 2 years to feel "normal". For the first 2 years we can periodically experience what they call post acute withdrawl syndrome (PAWS). Some times we will feel confused, overly tired and forgetful. Sobriety is difficult at first and that is why many have trouble maintaining it because it is such a struggle. However,I do believe it gets better. In early sobriety, we need to continually be grateful for the changes we are already experiencing. The mornings without hangover and remembering the night before. Being able to give our children our full attention and all the extra time and money we now have. Being grateful for these things will help us get through our days as our health continues to improve and we grow closer to becoming "normal" again. I don't think I ever was normal so I won't recognize such a thing even if I achieve it due to some mental health issues. I'll settle for being highly functional and periods of happiness.
famfat let me tell you something to quell your fears-as a divorced mother i know-if you are getting help for your alcoholism-i seriously wouldn't worry about your ex gaining custody of your children.
family courts inherently side with the mother. unless you are emotionally abusing your children-as long as they are clean, fed and not neglected there is little your ex can do. seeking help for your addiction is also viewed positively by the court.
the burden of proof lies with your ex. tell him to bring it on.
family courts inherently side with the mother. unless you are emotionally abusing your children-as long as they are clean, fed and not neglected there is little your ex can do. seeking help for your addiction is also viewed positively by the court.
the burden of proof lies with your ex. tell him to bring it on.
sorry "famat" not "famfat!" lol :)
I am new here. I am a 41 yo female. I have tried to quit on and off since I was 35 with minimal success. I was also diagnosed with HepC during this time.
It took a DUI last January to finally get me to stop and I have been sober now about 8 months. I have learned a lot about myself during this time. And yes, the Post Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms can be horrible. It is no wonder so many go back to drinking.
I read a book called "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" which outlines an amino acid, supplement, and nutrition program that really helps the equilibrium in the brain and healing our bodies need to feel "normal again". And yes, it can take up to two years depending on how far the alcoholism progressed. I have followed it and it really did help me.
I can honestly say this time I won't drink again. I finally realized it won't get better after abstainance. Never did before. I deeply want to stay sober, and that is what it takes. For me, going back to drinking will cost me my life, not tomorrow, but if I want to see my teenagers have any kind of adult life, I have to.
I also have an alcholic husband who is very sick with the disease and it makes it difficult. Not so much for me to abstain anymore, but he is horrible to deal with and I watch it deteriorate his health. Just like it did mine. But I am getting much better, and learning how to cope. The human body is amazing in the way it can heal.
It took a DUI last January to finally get me to stop and I have been sober now about 8 months. I have learned a lot about myself during this time. And yes, the Post Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms can be horrible. It is no wonder so many go back to drinking.
I read a book called "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" which outlines an amino acid, supplement, and nutrition program that really helps the equilibrium in the brain and healing our bodies need to feel "normal again". And yes, it can take up to two years depending on how far the alcoholism progressed. I have followed it and it really did help me.
I can honestly say this time I won't drink again. I finally realized it won't get better after abstainance. Never did before. I deeply want to stay sober, and that is what it takes. For me, going back to drinking will cost me my life, not tomorrow, but if I want to see my teenagers have any kind of adult life, I have to.
I also have an alcholic husband who is very sick with the disease and it makes it difficult. Not so much for me to abstain anymore, but he is horrible to deal with and I watch it deteriorate his health. Just like it did mine. But I am getting much better, and learning how to cope. The human body is amazing in the way it can heal.
I will turn 40 in a few weeks and I have been drinking since I was 16. I married an alcoholic 8 years ago who turned me on to drugs which I had never done before. I've always questioned whether I was an alcoholic before I met my husband. I was a binge drinker but now as soon as I get in the door from work I want something to drink. I feel so alone. I am so unhappy. To myself, I tried to blame my husband for my drinking but I know the place I'm at is because my own alcoholism has progressed. I recently trained and ran a marathon so that I would cut back on my drinking. I did cut back and I felt stronger and wanted to leave the situation with my husband. I was all set to leave him but during training I got a stress fracture on my ankle and running the marathon made it worse so now I am in a cast. I can't get around well and we have a 4 year daughter that I need help with. My husband tried to quit drinking himself and did well for a while but now we are both drinking again. Every day I tell myself I'll go home and I won't drink but I'm so depressed that I just drink anyways. I know I should go to a meeting but I am scared. I think in my mind I feel like I would be OK if I wasn't around my husband. Should I go to a meeting or try it on my own? Thanks to anyone for listening to my story.
Otis, your story could mirror mine. I also could run marathons. I still jog, but in nowhere near the shape I am was in.
I too partially would blame my husband. He would always keep a bottle of my favorite wine in the fridge. And this is even after I found out I had HCV. But I am the one who picked it up and drank it.
I have stayed sober because for 5 months I did anabuse (I know, hard to believe the courts would order a Hep patient to take that crap) and now I do 2X a day breathalyzers. I have a machine that tests my breath right in my house.
My husband still drinks, heavily...and being sober, I find the behavior and the smell extremely offensive. Plus his moods. He won't quit. It may be the demise of our relationship.
I had to quit my job because I lost my license for three months (DWAI). If it was a DUI, it would have been a year. And because of the constant breath tests, classes...etc....It would be very difficult to work a job around it. Plus, still being so new to recovery, I want to stand on firmer ground before I re-enter the workforce. I also have two teenage girls I find need more supervision now than when they were little. In different ways but......
I will be done with the court-order classes soon (2 weeks), not with the breath tests until May, but as of two weeks from now (upon my release), I will be on random once-a-day random tests. It would be easy to cheat and get away with it then. But I have made a firm commitment not to drink again. I think I will need to continue counceling. I was in AA for a while, I am agnostic, and AA is very religous oriented. But agnostics can work the program, the Big Book tells you how. And it is a way to meet sober friends. I have decided to go back when court-ordered therapy is over. There really is not much else out there, especially in the remote area I live in.
This seems to be a good website, and I am so glad I found it. I plan on coming back.
I recommend you read the book on this page "End Your Addiction Now". Like "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" It talks about amino acids, nutrition and supplements. This program really works and if you are commited to quiting, it will really help with Post Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome. I am doing it, and I have quit many times in the past. It helps....a lot.
I really thought I would never quit drinking and I would die some alcohol-related death. I felt like death too. Drinking became more of a relief than for fun. Now I know I don't have to live like this anymore and I WON'T. But I do need support still. We are not alone, and together, we can beat it. Many have.
Please write me anytime you would like to talk to someone :)
I too partially would blame my husband. He would always keep a bottle of my favorite wine in the fridge. And this is even after I found out I had HCV. But I am the one who picked it up and drank it.
I have stayed sober because for 5 months I did anabuse (I know, hard to believe the courts would order a Hep patient to take that crap) and now I do 2X a day breathalyzers. I have a machine that tests my breath right in my house.
My husband still drinks, heavily...and being sober, I find the behavior and the smell extremely offensive. Plus his moods. He won't quit. It may be the demise of our relationship.
I had to quit my job because I lost my license for three months (DWAI). If it was a DUI, it would have been a year. And because of the constant breath tests, classes...etc....It would be very difficult to work a job around it. Plus, still being so new to recovery, I want to stand on firmer ground before I re-enter the workforce. I also have two teenage girls I find need more supervision now than when they were little. In different ways but......
I will be done with the court-order classes soon (2 weeks), not with the breath tests until May, but as of two weeks from now (upon my release), I will be on random once-a-day random tests. It would be easy to cheat and get away with it then. But I have made a firm commitment not to drink again. I think I will need to continue counceling. I was in AA for a while, I am agnostic, and AA is very religous oriented. But agnostics can work the program, the Big Book tells you how. And it is a way to meet sober friends. I have decided to go back when court-ordered therapy is over. There really is not much else out there, especially in the remote area I live in.
This seems to be a good website, and I am so glad I found it. I plan on coming back.
I recommend you read the book on this page "End Your Addiction Now". Like "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" It talks about amino acids, nutrition and supplements. This program really works and if you are commited to quiting, it will really help with Post Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome. I am doing it, and I have quit many times in the past. It helps....a lot.
I really thought I would never quit drinking and I would die some alcohol-related death. I felt like death too. Drinking became more of a relief than for fun. Now I know I don't have to live like this anymore and I WON'T. But I do need support still. We are not alone, and together, we can beat it. Many have.
Please write me anytime you would like to talk to someone :)
