My landlord delivered a new bed for my daughter yesterday.
This morning - just now - she spilled tea all over it.
A year ago I would have vented all the anger I had about myself and how I was wasting my life onto her for "doing" this. And never thought for a moment that I had a problem involving depression and anger caused by alcohol abuse and addiction.
My son stayed at my ex's last night. He turned up this morning to ask for for 3 for his lunch at school because his mother didn't give him anything this morning. She just sent him to me for money.
A month ago (a week ago) I would have ranted about how I still pay for everything and resented giving him 3 quid for lunch. The poor, gentle, wonderful little lad would have felt embarrassed and angry at his mum and apologised to me. When he left I would have sent her an angry text from the snarled up nasty little knot that alcohol and I concocted in my belly and my heart.
But today....eight months after quitting (not my "date" but eight months after I stopped drinking regularly and things started to improve)...the sunlight is sometimes shining through the dark gray clouds of depression, anger and misery....
Today the sun is shining in my heart (in my heart, not in Wales yet lol) my children are the most wonderful miracles walking this wonderful, miraculous Earth and I will not spoil a moment of their day or mine ranting about what I cannot change. They need stuff and while I can give it they'll get it.
I am sooooo lucky to have them in my life.
I will talk to my ex about her responsibility to support our children.
And I will have a joyful day.
Did I mention how lucky I am?
Thank you all for your help. This is fantastic.
Have a brilliant day!
Martin
ps. I have no intention to ever drink again. This is toooo good to throw away.
Gidday Martin
It works when you work at it, good on you and keep storing the gratitude
light and love zac
It works when you work at it, good on you and keep storing the gratitude
light and love zac
