same s*** different day!!!! i am going dash tomorrow, i have really had enough, i know its gonna take mounths before i get any real help but if i dont start the ball rolling i might as well just bury myself today, thankyou for everyone who wrote such warm words to me every letter has helped. my daughter has already lost her father he got shot in the head in enfield last year and the last thing i need is for her to lose me too! woke up this morning with the sun beating on my face rattling for some gear, i had to get me and skye dressed before i walked far with her in the buggy before i could sort mysef out.... i wanted to stop half way sit on the floor and just cry... the guilt is just so much to deal with at times.i look around me at everyone buzzing around enjoying the summer while im trying to walk in the shade, skye wanted to stop in the park all she ever gets from me is "yea babe later" later never comes.. if her dad were alive i think he would kill me for having this nasty drug around me and his daughter, he was a bare knuckle boxer and enjoyed his clean living and i know thats what he wanted for his daughter and me, anyway as i said its time now for me to get our life back on track no more excuses.. if i do ever get of this s*** i will never look back and look down my nose at an heroine addict ever again, i know its hard living and its so hard to get your life back on track, once that drug gets in you its hard to get out. tracie xx
Good, you sound like you don't want this anymore.
If you were still with your daughters father or whether you weren't, it doesn't matter, when he got killed then small wonder you tried to fill the void. Be kind to yourself, that is awful what you said there.
I had a beautiful boyfriend who was killed in a motorbike accident when I was twenty one. I drank alot before that but after that my substance intake escalated massively until I was a real mess and loosing the plot. I guess it is a way of blocking the pain.
The only way out is to really not want it anymore. Really really not want it anymore.
I hope you are at that point.
If you were still with your daughters father or whether you weren't, it doesn't matter, when he got killed then small wonder you tried to fill the void. Be kind to yourself, that is awful what you said there.
I had a beautiful boyfriend who was killed in a motorbike accident when I was twenty one. I drank alot before that but after that my substance intake escalated massively until I was a real mess and loosing the plot. I guess it is a way of blocking the pain.
The only way out is to really not want it anymore. Really really not want it anymore.
I hope you are at that point.
Dearest Tracie:
I realy don't feel like rewriting everything I wrote to you last night but if you please go to Living in a bubble 1,you'll see a long post I wrote to you and see where I was before getting off,so if a no good loser junkie like myself can get out of the grips of Miss Heroin,than anyone can.
Lots of love,always a friend Teena
P.S Please let me know if you read the post,I want you to see that your not alone and that you can do it if you just want it hard enough.I know it's not easy but it's better now than later,as the yrs go by the drug gets more and more into your system and harder to get out of it's cold grips.
I realy don't feel like rewriting everything I wrote to you last night but if you please go to Living in a bubble 1,you'll see a long post I wrote to you and see where I was before getting off,so if a no good loser junkie like myself can get out of the grips of Miss Heroin,than anyone can.
Lots of love,always a friend Teena
P.S Please let me know if you read the post,I want you to see that your not alone and that you can do it if you just want it hard enough.I know it's not easy but it's better now than later,as the yrs go by the drug gets more and more into your system and harder to get out of it's cold grips.
