I think the hardest part for me in my recovery, is giving up the life I had came to know so well, as well as all the people. I feel that now I dont have much of a life. The only thing that I do is watch TV and go to AA meetings a few nights a week, other than that, I do nothing!! I am single, and find that I no longer even date. Sometimes I feel that I am now just existing, and not living. Maybe I havent yet been sober long enough. 8 months sober, compare to 10+ years in my addiction is no comparison.
It gets better. It took me 3 yrs to make a friend in AA. I now have a few close ones and a few acquaintences, have monthly dinner parties, a fiancee (not in the program and 10 yrs later in AA) who has two kids and am back in school pursueing my MSW. I also enjoy the YMCA, walking, and cross country skiing as well as continued meetings and talking iwth my sponsor. I remember a time I thought "I have no friends" and also "I have no passions". I started with making one friend and walking. My sponsor at the time pointed out "you have a passion for walking". I also attended the World conference 5 yrs ago and am registered for Toronto's. I love to travel and enjoy spa luxury - only currently through the beauty school :) because of price. I have a passion for pedicures, facials and body massages !!! life is good and so is campling. I guess I could go on and on, but at 2 1/2 yrs of sobriety I remember working, working, working, school, and crying "I don't know how much longer I can do this" Things change.
You might want to try reading "Rebuilding Relationships In Recovery: A Guide To Healing Relationships Impacted By Addiction" by Catherine Patterson-Sterling. I know you are not in a relationship right now, but it is a great book for exploring your own emotional growth in preparation for future relationships. I ordered it from www.amazon.com
Take Care,
Myra
Take Care,
Myra
