Hi guys...it's been a while since I've posted here. Doesn't mean I don't follow along from time to time, because I have already realized and do realize that what I do is a problem. Basically, I have been on and off and on again with Tramadol for the last 18 months. I stopped in January of 05, was clean for about 5 weeks, started again (and began having seizures), stopped again and was only clean for about 3 weeks, finally (I thought) stopped again at the end of May and was clean for most of the summer...about 9 weeks. Long story short, found a path back to them by the middle of August and I have been taking them steady now for almost 4 months.
I have been trying to get myself "caught" in order to make me stop (basically, started ordering from 2 or 3 websites at a time, seeing if they would cross-reference). True, part of me was just craving the pills that much more, and I realized that, but at least for the first time, I was kind of ordering with reckless abandon, thinking in the back of my mind that maybe I'll just get caught and my online supplier will cut me off. I think I have succeeded, with may not be the most forth-coming way of putting a stop to something like this but it's something. I am ready once again to try this life the correct way. I am clean today and already realize again how much this stuff numbs you...I'm a music teacher, and I was showing my kids a DVD of an orchestra, one of my favorite pieces. And sitting there, in the back of the class, watching and listening, I just started crying...and it was probably the first tear I've shed in over 4 months easily.
The advice I'm searching for is this, or just past experiences if nothing else. My wife is pretty much the #1 thing in my life, by a mile....she's everything to me, and without question the thing that has destroyed my self-image over the past months has been the fact that I am lying to her. She has been there for the last 2 confessions, and has been my guide through everything. But this time is different...she's been trying to watch over me, as closely as a person can watch over another person (which we know isn't much...there's too much time in a day that we're left to ourselves and our own devices). She's probably asked me, point blank, "are you taking any pills right now?" over 50 times in the last 4 months, and I've stared back at her and lied every time. We are behind on bills right now due to a combination of my medical bills from the spring and the fact that I'm using my money on pills. I mean, I've pretty much devastated our credit score and have put so much stress on our household. I'm a loving husband...I don't treat my wife badly, and if you knew nothing of my problem or our financial problems, you would think we're a wonderful married couple.
I just need to know from some of you about how you handled this with your spouse. I don't care about withdrawls...I've been through them before, and the 2nd time they weren't even that bad (knocks on wood). I care about my wife...I don't want to destroy my marriage, and I'm afraid I already have. Can anyone else out there relate to this? Please let me know.
Thanks.
Oh boy, do I relate.
I didn't tell my husband of my last relapse. Kept it from him for over a year. It kept me sick. Even though I went to meetings, worked the steps and stayed clean, I was miserable because I was lying to my best friend. He of course knew of my addiction because for 4 years after getting out of treatment, I was struggling. But he thought all was well and I was "cured". I didn't tell him any different.
Tell your wife. Ask her to find an alanon meeting so that she can understand better the disease of addiction and that it is a life long illness. It will also give her the support she needs from others that are in the same boat. Take her to the dr with you when you're ready to get off of the tramadol. You shouldn't do that cold turkey. Those siezures can kill you.
My husband knows now. I got busted after he got the mail (long story). Now that he knows I'm able to talk freely about my recovery which helps me so much. He also is getting a better understanding of what I go through on a daily basis. He didn't leave me as I thought he would (we always think the worst) but was understandably hurt and disappointed. It's something I had to take responsiblity for. Let her help you. I have a feeling it's what she would want.
Cowgirl
I didn't tell my husband of my last relapse. Kept it from him for over a year. It kept me sick. Even though I went to meetings, worked the steps and stayed clean, I was miserable because I was lying to my best friend. He of course knew of my addiction because for 4 years after getting out of treatment, I was struggling. But he thought all was well and I was "cured". I didn't tell him any different.
Tell your wife. Ask her to find an alanon meeting so that she can understand better the disease of addiction and that it is a life long illness. It will also give her the support she needs from others that are in the same boat. Take her to the dr with you when you're ready to get off of the tramadol. You shouldn't do that cold turkey. Those siezures can kill you.
My husband knows now. I got busted after he got the mail (long story). Now that he knows I'm able to talk freely about my recovery which helps me so much. He also is getting a better understanding of what I go through on a daily basis. He didn't leave me as I thought he would (we always think the worst) but was understandably hurt and disappointed. It's something I had to take responsiblity for. Let her help you. I have a feeling it's what she would want.
Cowgirl
JD
I love that you love your wife...that shes the number one person in your life...honey she knows. Shes your better half, your better conscience and the love of your life by your own admission. She knows.
Confess. Tell her all. You will feel the weight of the world come off your shoulders, and also by your own admission, you want to stop numbing your feelings with chemicals.You'll be surprised by the fact that although she may get upset, it willbe a burden relieved for her to. she can deal with the known, she can not deal with the unknown and with you lying to her....
Music can evoke strong emotions. you know that...you TEACH music ( where would I be without music?lolol) You have been carrying around a lot of guilt....HUGE STRESS..not only for continuing something you know isnt good for you, but for lying to your wife about it. Im not surprised at all that you broke down and cried...in fact Im relieved....Let it out.
I am here for you and know that many have walked in your footsteps and come out of it for the better, a better person, better friend and better husband.
this is what can happen for you. Tell her.
Hugs,
Ali
I love that you love your wife...that shes the number one person in your life...honey she knows. Shes your better half, your better conscience and the love of your life by your own admission. She knows.
Confess. Tell her all. You will feel the weight of the world come off your shoulders, and also by your own admission, you want to stop numbing your feelings with chemicals.You'll be surprised by the fact that although she may get upset, it willbe a burden relieved for her to. she can deal with the known, she can not deal with the unknown and with you lying to her....
Music can evoke strong emotions. you know that...you TEACH music ( where would I be without music?lolol) You have been carrying around a lot of guilt....HUGE STRESS..not only for continuing something you know isnt good for you, but for lying to your wife about it. Im not surprised at all that you broke down and cried...in fact Im relieved....Let it out.
I am here for you and know that many have walked in your footsteps and come out of it for the better, a better person, better friend and better husband.
this is what can happen for you. Tell her.
Hugs,
Ali
cowgirl and ali,
thanks a ton for those thoughtful replies already. ali, if it's a good sign, just reading through what you wrote to me had me in tears by the end of it. just seeing you both say those things and knowing that they are the truth is pretty powerful to me.
cowgirl, i've asked my docs about stopping the tramadol before, and i've had many all agree that stopping tramadol isn't a risk to seizures, that's just a misnomer. I have stopped C/T 3 times now, and haven't had one, only when I've been on them. I also take Dilantin (anti-seizure) daily, which is one of the reasons (medically speaking) that I allowed myself to continue doing this for the last 4 months.
thanks again.
thanks a ton for those thoughtful replies already. ali, if it's a good sign, just reading through what you wrote to me had me in tears by the end of it. just seeing you both say those things and knowing that they are the truth is pretty powerful to me.
cowgirl, i've asked my docs about stopping the tramadol before, and i've had many all agree that stopping tramadol isn't a risk to seizures, that's just a misnomer. I have stopped C/T 3 times now, and haven't had one, only when I've been on them. I also take Dilantin (anti-seizure) daily, which is one of the reasons (medically speaking) that I allowed myself to continue doing this for the last 4 months.
thanks again.
Seriously? They told you that wasn't true about the siezures? Wow. I've always heard the opposite. I would still be careful if you are siezure prone.
So, when (not if) you tell your wife, are you going to go c/t or have her help you taper?
So, when (not if) you tell your wife, are you going to go c/t or have her help you taper?
Dearest JD,
Honey i didnt mean to make you cry. having said that..i respect men whom are capable of tears....would trust a man 10 times more than had a good cry once in a while then one that was incapable of it.
When are you going to learn how SMART women are???LOLOL Its the womens intuition thing......we KNOW when we are being lied to, even if we dont want to believe it....lolol
Please keep us posted,
I care.
Hugs,
Ali
Honey i didnt mean to make you cry. having said that..i respect men whom are capable of tears....would trust a man 10 times more than had a good cry once in a while then one that was incapable of it.
When are you going to learn how SMART women are???LOLOL Its the womens intuition thing......we KNOW when we are being lied to, even if we dont want to believe it....lolol
Please keep us posted,
I care.
Hugs,
Ali
jd,
yes misty eyes has a medical article that says the risk of seizures are wwhile you are using, not while detoxing. she had corrected me before on that one also. maybe she will come along and clear up that one with her wealth of knowledge. keep seeking education and learning all you can on how to get and stay clean we are all her to support you no matter what way decide to choose. it is wise to have some face to face support. alanon for your wife was a great suggestion, this way you both can be working on each other and hopefully meet in the middle. welcome and goodluck. post as often as you like.
terrianne
yes misty eyes has a medical article that says the risk of seizures are wwhile you are using, not while detoxing. she had corrected me before on that one also. maybe she will come along and clear up that one with her wealth of knowledge. keep seeking education and learning all you can on how to get and stay clean we are all her to support you no matter what way decide to choose. it is wise to have some face to face support. alanon for your wife was a great suggestion, this way you both can be working on each other and hopefully meet in the middle. welcome and goodluck. post as often as you like.
terrianne
Ok, so that's where I got it screwed up. You can have siezures while on Tramadol, but siezures are common if you c/t off of BENZOS. Duh.
See? We aren't medical professionals and only your dr should advise you in manners such as these. Mis-information can be dangerous.
Cowgirl
See? We aren't medical professionals and only your dr should advise you in manners such as these. Mis-information can be dangerous.
Cowgirl
Hi Jd....
I wanted to respond to this last night , but got sidetracked in Marina's post. I am sorry.
As one who sits on the sidelines and watches I have to say that I think your wife knows. She may not be sure what she knows, but she knows something's up. You have to talk to her, and tell her the truth before she comes at you looking for answers, or catches the madness going on. She will catch on, you admitted you are wanting to be caught. This is so important as she is the most important thing in your life.....For me it was never the using, that I understood, why mine did, what he was looking for, but the lying is hard to get past.....and she may take this all to personal. Better to now get it out in the open and go from there. The more you tell her things are ok, hide it all, the more guilt and shame you will have thus feeding the disease in a way......
Now this using and the seizures, you gotta stop if you already having seizures. This is so dangerous and doses above 400mgs (recommened daily dose) are usually the cause. You though may have something else going on as well which would make these seizures happen. Please get yourself checked out by a doctor, the ultram could have brought something else to the surface, something you didn't know was wrong. Your warning signs all the way around, no matter what, are those seizures......
Here are the warnings.....
"Seizures have been reported as a rare side effect of treatment with Ultram. The risk of seizures may be increased in patients who take more than the prescribed dose, have a history of seizures or epilepsy, have head trauma, have a metabolic disorder, have a central nervous system infection, are experiencing alcohol or drug withdrawal, or are taking certain medications. Talk to your doctor about factors that may increase the risk of seizures during treatment."
"Seizures have been reported as a rare side effect of treatment with Ultram. The risk of seizures may be increased in patients who have any of the conditions or are taking any of the medications listed below: Do not take Ultram without first talking to your doctor if you
have a history of seizures or epilepsy;
have a head injury;
have a metabolic disorder;
have a central nervous system infection;
are experiencing alcohol or drug withdrawal;
are taking a tricyclic antidepressant such as amitriptyline (Elavil), nortriptyline (Pamelor), doxepin (Sinequan), imipramine (Tofranil), clomipramine (Anafranil), and others;
are taking a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil), or tranylcypromine (Parnate);
are taking a psychiatric medication such as chlorpromazine (Thorazine), fluphenazine (Prolixin), haloperidol (Haldol), loxapine (Loxitane), mesoridazine (Serentil), perphenazine (Trilafon), thioridazine (Mellaril), thiothixene (Navane), and others;
are taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem), fluvoxamine (Luvox), paroxetine (Paxil), sertraline (Zoloft), or citalopram (Celexa);
are taking a narcotic pain reliever such as codeine, fentanyl (Duragesic), hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol), hydrocodone (Vicodin, Lorcet, Lortab, others), morphine (MS Contin, MSIR, RMS, Roxanol, others), oxycodone (Roxicodone, Percocet, Percodan, others), propoxyphene (Darvon, Darvocet, others), and others;
are taking promethazine (Phenergan) or prochlorperazine (Compazine);
are taking sibutramine (Meridia);
are taking bupropion (Wellbutrin, Zyban); or
are taking cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril).
Before taking Ultram, tell your doctor if you have
kidney disease;
liver disease; or
a history of alcohol or drug dependence.
You may not be able to take Ultram, or you may require a dosage adjustment or special monitoring during treatment if you have any of the conditions listed above."
And for anyone reading Ultram has a warning about using it for alcohol or drug wd, and that means any drug wd, not just opiates. This could be dangerous, and not worth the risks........
It shouldn't even be perscribe to anyone with a previous opiate addiciton, but sadly we know how that goes, we see it here......
I hope that things work out good for you jd, Please take care of yourself.....
Love,
Tina
I wanted to respond to this last night , but got sidetracked in Marina's post. I am sorry.
As one who sits on the sidelines and watches I have to say that I think your wife knows. She may not be sure what she knows, but she knows something's up. You have to talk to her, and tell her the truth before she comes at you looking for answers, or catches the madness going on. She will catch on, you admitted you are wanting to be caught. This is so important as she is the most important thing in your life.....For me it was never the using, that I understood, why mine did, what he was looking for, but the lying is hard to get past.....and she may take this all to personal. Better to now get it out in the open and go from there. The more you tell her things are ok, hide it all, the more guilt and shame you will have thus feeding the disease in a way......
Now this using and the seizures, you gotta stop if you already having seizures. This is so dangerous and doses above 400mgs (recommened daily dose) are usually the cause. You though may have something else going on as well which would make these seizures happen. Please get yourself checked out by a doctor, the ultram could have brought something else to the surface, something you didn't know was wrong. Your warning signs all the way around, no matter what, are those seizures......
Here are the warnings.....
"Seizures have been reported as a rare side effect of treatment with Ultram. The risk of seizures may be increased in patients who take more than the prescribed dose, have a history of seizures or epilepsy, have head trauma, have a metabolic disorder, have a central nervous system infection, are experiencing alcohol or drug withdrawal, or are taking certain medications. Talk to your doctor about factors that may increase the risk of seizures during treatment."
"Seizures have been reported as a rare side effect of treatment with Ultram. The risk of seizures may be increased in patients who have any of the conditions or are taking any of the medications listed below: Do not take Ultram without first talking to your doctor if you
have a history of seizures or epilepsy;
have a head injury;
have a metabolic disorder;
have a central nervous system infection;
are experiencing alcohol or drug withdrawal;
are taking a tricyclic antidepressant such as amitriptyline (Elavil), nortriptyline (Pamelor), doxepin (Sinequan), imipramine (Tofranil), clomipramine (Anafranil), and others;
are taking a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil), or tranylcypromine (Parnate);
are taking a psychiatric medication such as chlorpromazine (Thorazine), fluphenazine (Prolixin), haloperidol (Haldol), loxapine (Loxitane), mesoridazine (Serentil), perphenazine (Trilafon), thioridazine (Mellaril), thiothixene (Navane), and others;
are taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem), fluvoxamine (Luvox), paroxetine (Paxil), sertraline (Zoloft), or citalopram (Celexa);
are taking a narcotic pain reliever such as codeine, fentanyl (Duragesic), hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol), hydrocodone (Vicodin, Lorcet, Lortab, others), morphine (MS Contin, MSIR, RMS, Roxanol, others), oxycodone (Roxicodone, Percocet, Percodan, others), propoxyphene (Darvon, Darvocet, others), and others;
are taking promethazine (Phenergan) or prochlorperazine (Compazine);
are taking sibutramine (Meridia);
are taking bupropion (Wellbutrin, Zyban); or
are taking cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril).
Before taking Ultram, tell your doctor if you have
kidney disease;
liver disease; or
a history of alcohol or drug dependence.
You may not be able to take Ultram, or you may require a dosage adjustment or special monitoring during treatment if you have any of the conditions listed above."
And for anyone reading Ultram has a warning about using it for alcohol or drug wd, and that means any drug wd, not just opiates. This could be dangerous, and not worth the risks........
It shouldn't even be perscribe to anyone with a previous opiate addiciton, but sadly we know how that goes, we see it here......
I hope that things work out good for you jd, Please take care of yourself.....
Love,
Tina
Hi JD I dont know if you remember me but that was my DOC for 3 horriable years.I just want to offer any support I can.I CT from a couple different things but I COULD NOT taper or CT with that.When my abuse ended I was up to 20 pills a day.Ill just say that if I can be of any help please allow me,I know how BAD that drug is.Umm.Im going to be away from my puter for a bit this morning but please ALWAYS feel free to post to me if I can help......mj
Thanks you guys...Molly, I remember you very well. You were trying to quit right around the first time I was trying to quit. I wish I could have stayed in line with you on that one. It sounds like 1 year later you are doing much better, and that's really inspiring to someone like me.
As far as the seizures go, you don't know the half of it. This is the first time I've admitted any of this to, well, anyone other than maybe myself (and I stress maybe). Between February and April of this year, I had 5 seizures, and all were drug related. I took stress tests, heart evals, every test you could imagine, just going through the hoops so that no one would know what it was. And I still kept taking. I gotta be honest with you, my memory of my life during those 3 months: probably about 25-30% Seriously, that's it...all of those convulsions and seizures completely blanked me over time. So I was put on something to help stop my seizures, and decided that was good enough counteraction for me to start taking tramadol again (don't want to say what it was...I wouldn't want to give someone reading this bad ideas). And honestly, it worked. I didn't have any problems for about 7 weeks. It was at that point, end of May, that I at the time had run out of sources on the net to order from, was going to have to go through w/ds anyway, so the better part of me just said "hey, get clean now". And and I tried, with my wife and I told her everything...and it worked for a while.
About 9 weeks went by, until I scored some pills by happenstance. You guys know what happens next. Except I took them for about a week, and once again had a seizure sitting at this computer that I type to you now. The only difference is that I'm typing on a borrowed keyboard from school because I clutched the previous one so hard and fell back that I ripped the cord in half that attaches it to the system. So I started taking the stuff for the seizures again (I stopped taking it when I stopped taking the tram), and resumed taking tramadol every day. And again, it "worked"...I haven't had a seizure in almost 4 months. Or, of course, I could just be dumb f***ing lucky that nothing's happened in the last 4 months.
To give you an idea of the amount I've been taking: a "good" day for me is about 20-23 pills. A "normal" day has been probably 30-32 pills a day. And I've had a few "bad" ones...I have no idea why I'm still sitting here typing to you guys. My blood pressure has jumped tremendously...it sits at around 100 most of the time, occassionally going down to 92-94, and when I'm worked up it goes to 110. The first seizure I ever had was when I was driving on the highway, and my wife had to jump across the center console to stop the car and pull it over. And I've still done it since then...take the pills and get in the car. I'm not an overly religious person, but I think I need to start going to church and making sense of all of this. There's got to be a reason why i'm not dead right now, because I've done enough to put myself in that position over and over again.
Well, I got up this morning, headed to the store and picked up potassium, magnesium, some B-12, motrin, tons of bananas, lots of soup, some Schweppes (cutting out the soda and sugar), and just got done emailing my 10 different online sites telling them that I'm an addict and to cut me off. Tonight I'll tell my wife, and figure out where I go next. I just pray she's going with me. I never thought I'd believe I couldn't live without another person, but I know that's the truth now.
Thanks again guys...I'm going to try to stay productive today, so I'll check back in a little while.
As far as the seizures go, you don't know the half of it. This is the first time I've admitted any of this to, well, anyone other than maybe myself (and I stress maybe). Between February and April of this year, I had 5 seizures, and all were drug related. I took stress tests, heart evals, every test you could imagine, just going through the hoops so that no one would know what it was. And I still kept taking. I gotta be honest with you, my memory of my life during those 3 months: probably about 25-30% Seriously, that's it...all of those convulsions and seizures completely blanked me over time. So I was put on something to help stop my seizures, and decided that was good enough counteraction for me to start taking tramadol again (don't want to say what it was...I wouldn't want to give someone reading this bad ideas). And honestly, it worked. I didn't have any problems for about 7 weeks. It was at that point, end of May, that I at the time had run out of sources on the net to order from, was going to have to go through w/ds anyway, so the better part of me just said "hey, get clean now". And and I tried, with my wife and I told her everything...and it worked for a while.
About 9 weeks went by, until I scored some pills by happenstance. You guys know what happens next. Except I took them for about a week, and once again had a seizure sitting at this computer that I type to you now. The only difference is that I'm typing on a borrowed keyboard from school because I clutched the previous one so hard and fell back that I ripped the cord in half that attaches it to the system. So I started taking the stuff for the seizures again (I stopped taking it when I stopped taking the tram), and resumed taking tramadol every day. And again, it "worked"...I haven't had a seizure in almost 4 months. Or, of course, I could just be dumb f***ing lucky that nothing's happened in the last 4 months.
To give you an idea of the amount I've been taking: a "good" day for me is about 20-23 pills. A "normal" day has been probably 30-32 pills a day. And I've had a few "bad" ones...I have no idea why I'm still sitting here typing to you guys. My blood pressure has jumped tremendously...it sits at around 100 most of the time, occassionally going down to 92-94, and when I'm worked up it goes to 110. The first seizure I ever had was when I was driving on the highway, and my wife had to jump across the center console to stop the car and pull it over. And I've still done it since then...take the pills and get in the car. I'm not an overly religious person, but I think I need to start going to church and making sense of all of this. There's got to be a reason why i'm not dead right now, because I've done enough to put myself in that position over and over again.
Well, I got up this morning, headed to the store and picked up potassium, magnesium, some B-12, motrin, tons of bananas, lots of soup, some Schweppes (cutting out the soda and sugar), and just got done emailing my 10 different online sites telling them that I'm an addict and to cut me off. Tonight I'll tell my wife, and figure out where I go next. I just pray she's going with me. I never thought I'd believe I couldn't live without another person, but I know that's the truth now.
Thanks again guys...I'm going to try to stay productive today, so I'll check back in a little while.
Also, has anyone ever been surprised by the lack of wd's they were expecting? I mean, I'm having them...this is essentially day 2, and I've had trouble sleeping a bit, gooseflesh/chills, lack of energy somewhat. But it's almost like my body is relaxing for the first time in a while right now...like it's saying to me "thank god, when the hell were you going to chill out for a little while?"
In other words, I don't feel great, but I don't feel awful.
In other words, I don't feel great, but I don't feel awful.
Well, I got up this morning, headed to the store and picked up potassium, magnesium, some B-12, motrin, tons of bananas, lots of soup, some Schweppes (cutting out the soda and sugar), and just got done emailing my 10 different online sites telling them that I'm an addict and to cut me off. Tonight I'll tell my wife, and figure out where I go next. I just pray she's going with me. I never thought I'd believe I couldn't live without another person, but I know that's the truth now.
YIIIPPPPEEEE IM SO PROUD OF YOU
gUESS WHAT? I did find the withdrawals were worse in my MIND...when i firs dropped down from 30 a day to 8 i had 0 withdrawals...nothing......only now that im down to 5 am i starting to feel grim..but only at night.....terrible toe curling muscle spasms...just took a bath with epsom and almost fainted...lol..ugh...
sometimes the horror stories ofwithdrawal set us up to expect the worst...
expect the best, be PREPARED for the worst ( which by the loks of it your ready...lolol eat those banannas..lol)
Im so proud of you...tell us how it goes with your wife.
Your doing the right thing.
Hugs,
Ali
YIIIPPPPEEEE IM SO PROUD OF YOU
gUESS WHAT? I did find the withdrawals were worse in my MIND...when i firs dropped down from 30 a day to 8 i had 0 withdrawals...nothing......only now that im down to 5 am i starting to feel grim..but only at night.....terrible toe curling muscle spasms...just took a bath with epsom and almost fainted...lol..ugh...
sometimes the horror stories ofwithdrawal set us up to expect the worst...
expect the best, be PREPARED for the worst ( which by the loks of it your ready...lolol eat those banannas..lol)
Im so proud of you...tell us how it goes with your wife.
Your doing the right thing.
Hugs,
Ali
Hi JD, and good for you making it to day two!
My husband and I are both addicts. I am in recovery and he isn't. I perhaps am more sympathetic or at least understanding than some spouses because I understand what drives him.
The way he lies about his using is just ridiculous. Of course I know.
I might be a little more aware than your wife since I've been down that path. I can tell you this coming from the wife of someone using. We'd rather know. We prefer honesty. I don't care to see the husband swallowing pills because it's a trigger for me, but I am insulted if he looks me in the eye and lies about it.
This is so complicated. While insulted by it, I still understand it. I lied plenty too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that your wife knows more than you think she does. We think using doesn't change us much, it does. We think we're believable, we aren't. If our mates chose not to call us on a lie, it doesn't necessarily mean we are believed.
Fess up, you'll feel better and she will be able to start the trusting process with you.
Good luck, Kat
My husband and I are both addicts. I am in recovery and he isn't. I perhaps am more sympathetic or at least understanding than some spouses because I understand what drives him.
The way he lies about his using is just ridiculous. Of course I know.
I might be a little more aware than your wife since I've been down that path. I can tell you this coming from the wife of someone using. We'd rather know. We prefer honesty. I don't care to see the husband swallowing pills because it's a trigger for me, but I am insulted if he looks me in the eye and lies about it.
This is so complicated. While insulted by it, I still understand it. I lied plenty too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that your wife knows more than you think she does. We think using doesn't change us much, it does. We think we're believable, we aren't. If our mates chose not to call us on a lie, it doesn't necessarily mean we are believed.
Fess up, you'll feel better and she will be able to start the trusting process with you.
Good luck, Kat
Thanks again you guys. I know that when I tell her, I'm sure she's going to eventually admit that she saw it there again. She asks all the time if I'm taking, and even though I have lied, I think she knew in some way that wasn't right.
My other strange symptom I have is this terrible ringing in my ears. I've noticed it for about the past 3 months, since the last time I started taking really heavily. Now, I'm a drummer and a music teacher so that might have a lot to do with it, but has anyone experienced this? It's a terrible, really loud constant ringing.
My other strange symptom I have is this terrible ringing in my ears. I've noticed it for about the past 3 months, since the last time I started taking really heavily. Now, I'm a drummer and a music teacher so that might have a lot to do with it, but has anyone experienced this? It's a terrible, really loud constant ringing.
Hey there...I think that tramadol has asprin in it and that can cause the ringing in your ears.
I've got you in my thoughts and prayers tonight when you tell your wife. I think it's going to be just fine in the end. She'll appreciate your honesty and you'll be so relieved.
You're lucky with the withdrawals so far. I remember the tramadol as being one of the harder ones to w/d from. I'll never touch them again for just that fact.
Good luck bud.
Cowgirl
I've got you in my thoughts and prayers tonight when you tell your wife. I think it's going to be just fine in the end. She'll appreciate your honesty and you'll be so relieved.
You're lucky with the withdrawals so far. I remember the tramadol as being one of the harder ones to w/d from. I'll never touch them again for just that fact.
Good luck bud.
Cowgirl
Ringing in your ears CAN be from the aspirin, Lisa is right..
it could also be THE DRUMS.
get them checked..also keep an eye on your blood pressure.
I didnt realize how important that is till i came to the board. we have one very
sweet person from this board that actually had a stroke while coming off of her DOC...
Learn whatyou can and share the kknowledge...lol
Let us know when you tell her, how it went
It will be such a weight off your shoulders.
Hugs,
Ali
it could also be THE DRUMS.
get them checked..also keep an eye on your blood pressure.
I didnt realize how important that is till i came to the board. we have one very
sweet person from this board that actually had a stroke while coming off of her DOC...
Learn whatyou can and share the kknowledge...lol
Let us know when you tell her, how it went
It will be such a weight off your shoulders.
Hugs,
Ali
Thanks guys...I just got back from the urgent care center with my wife. She has Strept Throat and is pretty miserable. I can't throw all of this on her tonight. I'll just ride it out a couple of days and do the best I can with the w/d. I'll tell her in a day or two when she's a little better.
See you guys later.
See you guys later.
Hi jd,
I am sorry that your wife isn't feeling well, strep is nasty......
I hope that you are ok tonight, and that the wd isn't to bad.
You make sure to take care of yourself, and get that ringing checked, it could be anything from something like inner ear infections, to the noise from drumming, to your bp possibly.....
Also your liver, you were taking lots o pills, If is was ultracet, then you were taking lots o tylenol too. Ultram doesn't have any tylenol in it.
Good luck with your talk. I think things will be fine.......Just be patient with your wife, and give her time to process it all. I really think she knows something is up, she might be just waiting on you.......
Take care,
Love,
Tina
I am sorry that your wife isn't feeling well, strep is nasty......
I hope that you are ok tonight, and that the wd isn't to bad.
You make sure to take care of yourself, and get that ringing checked, it could be anything from something like inner ear infections, to the noise from drumming, to your bp possibly.....
Also your liver, you were taking lots o pills, If is was ultracet, then you were taking lots o tylenol too. Ultram doesn't have any tylenol in it.
Good luck with your talk. I think things will be fine.......Just be patient with your wife, and give her time to process it all. I really think she knows something is up, she might be just waiting on you.......
Take care,
Love,
Tina
JD
Sorry to hear your wife has strep...guess no nooky nooky for you for awhile...well no kissing I mean...lolol
Be the good husband you know you are, plump her pillows, get her a hot chocolate, read to her...take this opportunity to bond with her........
You will kick this thing....and you have love in your life.
You will be happy again soon.
Hugs,
Ali
Sorry to hear your wife has strep...guess no nooky nooky for you for awhile...well no kissing I mean...lolol
Be the good husband you know you are, plump her pillows, get her a hot chocolate, read to her...take this opportunity to bond with her........
You will kick this thing....and you have love in your life.
You will be happy again soon.
Hugs,
Ali
