Lucie0403@hotmail.com
HI
I have recently met a guy who I became very interested in and who I thought was interested in me. Out of the blue I couldn't get in contact with him for a period of a couple of weeks. Finally I hear from him, only for him to keep promising to call or see me and never going through on any promises.
Then he tells me that for the past couple of weeks he has been doing H...
He has now said that although he has feelings for me he is not sure whether he is interested in a relationship at the moment...when spending time with him his moods go UP and then DOWN.
I really like this guy and I'm not sure whether it is just the H talking. He said that he is giving it up because he has previously been addicted to it a long time ago.
What do I do? Does doing H make you not think about having a relationship? Is what he is saying his true feelings?
Very unsure about what to do
Thanks
Hi,
I think you should let this guy sort his head out be there for him as a friend, dont push him into anything about a relationship try and help him but remember you cant help those who dont want to be helped if that is the case with him get out of there you dont want to go down that road its living in hell living with a junkie trust me im an x user. But at the end of the day think about you dont forge about you! good luck.
I think you should let this guy sort his head out be there for him as a friend, dont push him into anything about a relationship try and help him but remember you cant help those who dont want to be helped if that is the case with him get out of there you dont want to go down that road its living in hell living with a junkie trust me im an x user. But at the end of the day think about you dont forge about you! good luck.
Dear Unsure,
When you are doing heroin, that IS the relationship that you are having. Everything and everyone else will become a distant .....nothing. You don't mean for it to be that way. But it is. It has to be. You have to do heroin. But you don't have to do anything else. Heroin puts you in a place where food, sex, love, life, work play and everything else that you can think of that make you human become distant memories.
It sometimes takes a while for a person to get to that place. That just makes it even harder, because by this point, YOU will have developed strong feelings for him, and will probably not want to walk out on him because he "needs you." Thats what I did to my boyfriend. When he first met me, he had no idea that I was snorting heroin. A year and a half later, he was crying as he was shooting me up, as I was snarling at him to hurry up, because I was shaking too hard to do it myself.
He picked me up off the floor when I hit the ground time after time, shook me awake countless times when he thought I was dead, begged me to eat, to stop doing H, lied for me, watched thugs selling me death, had to go and score for me because I was vomiting, shaking, hallucinating, sweating.
Then when I was high and filled with sweetness, I'd wrap my lying arms around him and tell him how much I loved him and needed him. Well, partly lying. I did need him. Who else would clean up my blood and vomit and find my dope and loan me money and make sure I didn't die each and every day?
What did he get out of this? He started out with a pretty, fun girlfriend, who loved to dance and go to parties and ended up with an anorexic, spaced-out, strung-out junky with grey skin and black circles under my eyes, who looked like walking death, who never left the house. I must have been so much fun, so pleasant to look at. Junkies aren't interested in sex, either, but I'm sure at that point neither was he!
He was afraid to go to work, afraid to leave me alone, afraid to to come home and find me cold and dead on the floor, where i spent a lot of my time.
He left me four times and always came back. He was too filled with guilt and fear to leave for long. What a miserable life he had!
Your guy sounds like he is trying to tell you something...listen to him. If he's already been an addict, then he knows what I know. You DO NOT want to be this guy's enabler, and he sounds like he is trying to let you know gently.
RUN before he is too far gone and doesn't care about you anymore! Run for your life! If he stops using, he will still be there. You can see him then. If he is using H, you will NOT have him at all, please believe me. You will not change him. In the history of heroin, no human being has ever talked an H addict out of using. It simply DOES NOT HAPPEN. Save yourself. Please trust me. I was a junky, and know dozens of them. We are ALL the same.
Love, Gretchen
When you are doing heroin, that IS the relationship that you are having. Everything and everyone else will become a distant .....nothing. You don't mean for it to be that way. But it is. It has to be. You have to do heroin. But you don't have to do anything else. Heroin puts you in a place where food, sex, love, life, work play and everything else that you can think of that make you human become distant memories.
It sometimes takes a while for a person to get to that place. That just makes it even harder, because by this point, YOU will have developed strong feelings for him, and will probably not want to walk out on him because he "needs you." Thats what I did to my boyfriend. When he first met me, he had no idea that I was snorting heroin. A year and a half later, he was crying as he was shooting me up, as I was snarling at him to hurry up, because I was shaking too hard to do it myself.
He picked me up off the floor when I hit the ground time after time, shook me awake countless times when he thought I was dead, begged me to eat, to stop doing H, lied for me, watched thugs selling me death, had to go and score for me because I was vomiting, shaking, hallucinating, sweating.
Then when I was high and filled with sweetness, I'd wrap my lying arms around him and tell him how much I loved him and needed him. Well, partly lying. I did need him. Who else would clean up my blood and vomit and find my dope and loan me money and make sure I didn't die each and every day?
What did he get out of this? He started out with a pretty, fun girlfriend, who loved to dance and go to parties and ended up with an anorexic, spaced-out, strung-out junky with grey skin and black circles under my eyes, who looked like walking death, who never left the house. I must have been so much fun, so pleasant to look at. Junkies aren't interested in sex, either, but I'm sure at that point neither was he!
He was afraid to go to work, afraid to leave me alone, afraid to to come home and find me cold and dead on the floor, where i spent a lot of my time.
He left me four times and always came back. He was too filled with guilt and fear to leave for long. What a miserable life he had!
Your guy sounds like he is trying to tell you something...listen to him. If he's already been an addict, then he knows what I know. You DO NOT want to be this guy's enabler, and he sounds like he is trying to let you know gently.
RUN before he is too far gone and doesn't care about you anymore! Run for your life! If he stops using, he will still be there. You can see him then. If he is using H, you will NOT have him at all, please believe me. You will not change him. In the history of heroin, no human being has ever talked an H addict out of using. It simply DOES NOT HAPPEN. Save yourself. Please trust me. I was a junky, and know dozens of them. We are ALL the same.
Love, Gretchen
Being the wife of an addict my best advice for you is before you really start a relationship with this guy before you fall in love. RUN! RUN has fast as you can away from this. You do not want this drama in your life. The way i describe this life is being on a run away train. Your stuck and theres nothing you can do to stop it. Your just sitting there knowing and waiting for it to crash!!!!!! Hoping this time hopefully no one will get seriously hurt. Its an unstable life and you dont want this. It will end up in pain and heart ache. It will be like living with Dr.jekyl and Mr. hyde.
If i havent scared you enough or gotten my point across
RUN !
RUN !
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i could have seen this coming and had the option of bailing out before i got to deep in it. Believe me I would have gone the other way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ava
If i havent scared you enough or gotten my point across
RUN !
RUN !
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i could have seen this coming and had the option of bailing out before i got to deep in it. Believe me I would have gone the other way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ava
Ava, who is driving that train you are talking about? If you are the driver why are you going in the same direction all the time - if your husband is the driver he only knows one direction and will take you on an endless journey. Ava, get off at the next station, have a little break, take a look at yourself and your life and DECIDE where YOU want to go.
Jemima
Jemima