I am a 33 year old married woman with two small children, and have been taking vicoden on and off for three years now, but steady for a year and a half. The doctors have told me that I have DDD in my L4 and L5, hypothyroid, anxiety, depression, and Fybromyaliga. They had me on morphine and vicoden for break through pain, but I quit taking the morphine because it made me tired. The doctor only wants me to take 6 pills of vicoden 10/325 a day, but I have steadily up my doses to where I am taking 25 to 30 pills on some days. I know that the amounts that I am taking are crazy, but for some reason I am so afaid to feel anymore pain that I will take them even if I am not feeling any pain. I do not feel a high or numbness from the medicine anymore, but if I do not take the medicine I can not even get out of bed. I have quit taking the medicine several time for a week at a time (and when I do, I do not have any withdrawl symptoms except for sever pain in my back, and aches all over my body), but can't deal with the pain I feel. My doctor tells me that I have to just accept the fact that I will be on pain medicine for the rest of my life, but he doesn't know that I am ordering on line to cover the amount of medicine I am taking along with what he gives to me. My husband is a pilot in the air force and I am responsible for my children who are 2 and 3 all the time while he is gone for up to 300 days a year. I just want to be able to get through my day and I am at a point where I can't do that unless I am taking pain pills daily. I would love to quit, but do not know where to start. I am looking for answers, like how long will it take me to go through withdrawls, what are they like, should I quit cold turkey, or try to slowly cut down. My doctor knows that I want to quit, but thinks I should not do it until I get the injections that they have me scheduled for next month, my problem being I am very afraid that I am not going to be able to just quit. I am scared and depressed and causing my family to become broke. The thought of being in pain for the rest of my life is just plain sad to me. I would really appreciate any help that anyone can offer. I pray nightly that there is someone out there will be able to help me. Thank you for listening, H
You need to get off the pills. You are probably having withdrawals when you stop taking the pills...the "body aches".....that is a sure fire withdrawal symptom. And the fact that you can't get out of bed. You have become dependant on the pills...it is mental and physical. You don't get the "high" anymore when you take them but you don't have withdrawal symptoms. You need to get some help...you know you have a problem...and I can see that you want help. I was taking the same medication ....about 10+ pills per day. I had to have them in the morning right when I woke up....then all day long...at night to go to sleep. They got me through the day. I am a mother of 2, I work a full time job and drive kids around to sports functions, school functions, etc.....it is exhausting. The pills got me through the day. 2 weeks ago, my resource for getting my pills ran out. I had to go off cold turkey. I am on day 12 today. Believe me, it is no walk in the park. You have to be prepared to be sick and feel horrible. I did it at home, and worked my job during the withdrawals. And, took care of the kids, etc. I don't know how I did it. But I did!!!!! You can do it too. Please take a look at your situation and make your decision. The pills are running your life ...it sucks......
This website really helped me through and is still helping me. Just hearing that there are so many people with the same problem....helped so much.
amdawn33- read a LOT of the previous post here..they will help..and then WE can all work on your problem. Just hand in there kiddo. Like we al have too. You are NOT alone..
AMDAWN.....read everyone's stories.....they are so much the same. We are all in the same...I just got a phone call from a pharmacy asking if I wanted a refill on medication.....I almost said yes. OHMYG.....I just had to be so strong......I said NO....hung up......I have those butterflies in my stomach
Thank you all so very much for your support. This means so very much to me, having people that understand that I can talk to. Can anyone tell me how long it will take for me to get off the pills and quit having withdrawl symptoms? I also was wondering if it is best to go cold turkey............I can't thank all of you enough. H
Welcome to this forum, and congratulations on having the courage to share your story. As you can see here you definitely are not alone.
You now have a wonderful opportunity to get back to being the mother your children deserve and need. Before you make any decisions though I would consult with a medical professional and come up with a plan for getting clean and a plan for staying clean. You have to be totally honest! I too have squandered thousands of dollars on these damn pills, but first things first. You need to get clean. We're all different, and what worked for me may not work for you. With two young kids it's important that they be factored into any decision you make.
The holiday's are fast approaching. Perhaps you can set a goal of being clean by Christmas. What a wonderful gift to yourself, and your children. It's not easy, but it is so worth it because you are worth it!
Stay strong;
Jim
You now have a wonderful opportunity to get back to being the mother your children deserve and need. Before you make any decisions though I would consult with a medical professional and come up with a plan for getting clean and a plan for staying clean. You have to be totally honest! I too have squandered thousands of dollars on these damn pills, but first things first. You need to get clean. We're all different, and what worked for me may not work for you. With two young kids it's important that they be factored into any decision you make.
The holiday's are fast approaching. Perhaps you can set a goal of being clean by Christmas. What a wonderful gift to yourself, and your children. It's not easy, but it is so worth it because you are worth it!
Stay strong;
Jim
I was too proud and embarrassed to go to rehab. I went off the pills with a very fast tapering (1 week), then cold turkey. My last pill was on a Friday....Saturday and Sunday were really bad...flu symptoms....then I had to come to work on Monday....it was hard. I was useless, but I was showing up at work. The sleepless nights and restless legs were horrible. I was so relieved to find this website during those horrible times. This website got me through some very very rough times. Reading everyone's stories and getting their support was awesome. I am on day 13 with no pills. I can't say I feel 100%....my eyes are still really cloudy, but I am on a good path.
Good luck
Good luck
I, too, was to embarrassed to go to rehab. I was in your boat: two small children, going to school full time, etc. I did it c/t alone and it was hard!! But, I made it through somehow and life is already better (clean for a little over a month). I am not 100%, but I am no longer a slave to pills. No more lying to my husband for money, stressing over where I'll get more pills, going through wds when I run out. No more guilt for being a "bad mom". It will be so worth it in the end, so hang in there and get help. You need to speak to your doctor about ways he can help and then DO IT. Good luck and God bless. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!
Sugarbear....we are so much alike. I have two kids, work, keep house, etc....I am looking forward to being a better mom, wife, person all together. Tomorrow is two weeks clean for me. I am so happy. Wow, I actually said the word happy!!!!!
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hi Amdawn.. welcome to this wonderful chat site.. may i ask what is the cause of your chronic pain? I am certainly no doctor but it does not sound safe to me for you to go cold turkey.. i am addicted to vicodin and after trying to taper at a pace of 5 4 3 2 1 i was shocked when i went to a routine doctor appointment and he said my blood pressure was borderline high.. i have never had high blood pressure in my life.. now i am starting over but at much slower pace.. it sounds to me like you might be an excellent canidate for the suboxone.. i had never heard of it before but was amazed to learn that it not only helps a lot with the withdrawal but it also is a good pain reliever too! maybe it would help you? best of luck..
Oh sorry amdawn.. i just re read your post and now understand where your pain is coming from..again best of luck to you
