Looking For Input

Hello Everyone,
I am new here and am in need of some input and/or advice. I had a beautiful and wonderful partner for almost 2 years. She is a recovering alcholic and will have 15 years sobriety at the end of this month. We had lived together for a little over a year and things were good. One day, after a wonderful day trip to the mountains, she came to me and stated she wasn't sure if our relationship was what she wanted and needed some time for herself. She stated she thought it best if I moved out as she was feeling the need to have time to herself and was entertaining the idea of seeing other people. She also stated she loved me and wanted to continue seeing me. I did move out and we continued to see each other over the next 5 months. In this time, to my knowledge she did not see anyone else and things appeared to be getting better for us. She then needed surgery, a surgery that would leave her a bit immobile for a few weeks. She asked me for my help during this time which I offered as I love her and would do for anyone I cared for in my life. She had also started attending a new AA meeting a few months ago as it was closer than the meeting she had been attending, and had made some new friends as a result. About a month ago, she stated she had met a woman at her new meeting and was consdering asking her to be her new sponsor. I asked her why she was considering this as I knew she had a sponsor for many years. Her response was "my current sponsor and I have become very good personal friends" and "I just like some of the things she says in the meetings." Be it right or wrong, her explanation made sense to me, and I knew she would do as she saw best anyway. She has been working with her new sponsor for at least a month or so to my knowledge and this is where I need your input.
After a meeting with her new sponsor last Wed. she broke up with me the very next day. She stated she loved me very much and this was a very difficult decision for her. She stated she had enough responsibilities in her life between taking care of her son, he is 13, her home and felt she could not continue to work on her own personal and spiritual growth while in the relationship. She said her time with me had helped her to see what her own needs were and thanked me for our time together. She also stated she thinks we are in different places in our lives and she feels it best if we continue on our own seperate paths.
The entire time she was sitting in my living room breaking up with me, she was in tears and could not look at me. When I asked questions regarding her reasons for her decision or tried to gain clarity on what she was saying or feeling, her only response was" I'm not going there." She then proceeded to tell me that she could have nothing to do with me, and that one day she felt sure we could be friends.
Ok, to this point, it probably sounds as if this is the typical break up. And you're probably wondering, why am I asking for input? Well, up until the Weds. night meeting with her sponsor, she was not acting any different than the day before, her tone was the same as it had always been as well as her actions towards me. She was still experssing her love for me and just that day, sent me an email telling me she appreciated me and how good I was to her. Then, the very next day, breaks up with me.
She has always expressed she knew she had a good thing with me and acknowledged she was treated very well by me, and appreciated how good I was to her.
I know her sponsor had some input into our relationship and there was something that transpired in that conversation that had a direct impact on her decision. While I don't want to blame her sponsor, as I know she has free will to make her own choices, I can't help but feel this decision was not made solely on her own. I also can't help but feel I have in some way been cheated out of the love of my life.
I told her I can accept and respect her wishes to have time to work on herself and her other responsibilities as I have always been supportive of her continuing recovery. What makes it difficult is the fact that she feels such a need to cut me off completly and the fact that she has already placed a personal ad on the internet looking to date new people. All this in just 3 days!
A very good friend of mine who is a recovering addict said to me the other day, "just because someone gives up the addictive substance, doesn't mean they have given up the addictive behaviors." I love this woman with all my heart and know in my heart, she loves me too. I guess what I am asking is...How does one go about detaching from the situation when they know the love is still there and be respectful of her wishes? I don't want to sound like one of those people that doesn't know when to let go, as I have been in that situation in my life. If I honestly felt and believed that our love was gone and there was nothing left, letting go would be easy.
Anyway, I would appreciate any insight you may be able to offer as I am doing my best on my own and finding it a bit confusing at times. Thanks for taking the time to read and have a good day.

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You have the right attitude toward it . Bottom line is this you provided what your partner needed - someone to use. Addicts use people when there done using - that's one part of the personality that doesn't change unless they go to the only one who can change them. God. It takes an inward change that"higher powers" can't bring. Only God can change a person inwardly.You're best bet is to get rid of pictures, anything that attaches memories. I know you don't want to do all that right now, but what's the sense of holding on to something that will only bring you pain. As for her loving you... 3 days later posting personals... that's a tough one to take. I wonder if her definition
of love goes beyond herself. I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just echoing some truths you've probably already thought about.

Meze337@aol.com if you need someone to talk to
It's hard to say just what might be going on when she won't be open and honest with you about her feelings. - Try not to let it all drive you nuts.
Don't drink, go to your meetings, turn it and her - over to God, and keep talking about your feelings as you are doing.
Work the steps on her as you have hopefully worked on drinking.
Remember - "Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse"
It could be any number of things going on with her. Spend time with your sponcer.
If you chose to talk in detail with me I would need to know where you're at to start with. Are you working the steps, etc?
If it has nothing to do with you then maybe she's chooseing a gay life style, is mixed up with all the confusion of what in our day is considered to be spirituality, chooseing to go back out and drink more, - God only knows.
I agree with Mikie. I hold to the original AA practices in useing the Good Book and the Big Book both. (Just some thoughts - hang in there)
hey cbiskit -
- I hope I didn't misunderstand anything between reading your post, mikie's, and then entering mine. I couldn't re-read your post while entering mine so I might have.
- If you're not an alcoholic yourself it would be hard to be in any relationship with someone who is - without being involved in alanon yourself.