Just wondering how things are and hoping all is ok. I have not seen you posting for quite some time.....
Thanks,
Axor
Hey Axor, thanks for asking after me =)
I am well, my family is well, my qualifying daughter is well...things are good. I drop by here about once a month and read, jumping in when I think I might be of help, but folks here don't know me very well, and so mostly I remain on the sidelines. I don't post much anymore which is just as it should be I guess. I worked through my 'stuff' here on this board for 7 long years, the first three or four learning and reaching out, the last three trying to pay it forward and share what I learned. As is always true, we take what we need and leave the rest. I made life-long friends here and we re still in touch, these are the folks I turn to when things get rough on any of life's many fronts. They 'get' me, get my continuing struggles to control and care-take. I have had opportunities (haha...that's a nice word) to put my learning into action and have succeeded some of the times and failed epically at others...such is life. It is amazing to me how the learning I did during my girl's addiction can be applied to 9 out of 10 life situations...sometimes I am better at implementing than others.
My qualifier is a single mom and flourishing in that role. She works 40-60 hour weeks and we help her by taking our grandson on weekends...he brightens my every day. That was one of those situations I was talking about. One of the first things I said to my daughter upon her announcement that she was pregnant (with no father wanting to be in the picture, still on suboxone, and only 8 months clean) was, "You are making a huge mistake, you can't even take care of yourself and if you think a baby will 'save' you, that's a lot of responsibility to put on such a tiny being." Control, lecture, care-take, advise...my MO. Well, I cannot imagine any of our lives without the gift of this child (he is 5 now). I was wrong, and I was once again reminded that I am NOT general manger of the universe...or of anything or anyone but myself.
I still struggle with the bad habits of a lifetime...that stuff dies hard. But I am a work in progress just like everyone else. A friend from these boards sent me this when I needed it and it hangs on my bathroom mirror:
"On particularly rough days when I am sure I cannot possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through rough days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good."
How's things with you?
Peace ~ M&M
I am well, my family is well, my qualifying daughter is well...things are good. I drop by here about once a month and read, jumping in when I think I might be of help, but folks here don't know me very well, and so mostly I remain on the sidelines. I don't post much anymore which is just as it should be I guess. I worked through my 'stuff' here on this board for 7 long years, the first three or four learning and reaching out, the last three trying to pay it forward and share what I learned. As is always true, we take what we need and leave the rest. I made life-long friends here and we re still in touch, these are the folks I turn to when things get rough on any of life's many fronts. They 'get' me, get my continuing struggles to control and care-take. I have had opportunities (haha...that's a nice word) to put my learning into action and have succeeded some of the times and failed epically at others...such is life. It is amazing to me how the learning I did during my girl's addiction can be applied to 9 out of 10 life situations...sometimes I am better at implementing than others.
My qualifier is a single mom and flourishing in that role. She works 40-60 hour weeks and we help her by taking our grandson on weekends...he brightens my every day. That was one of those situations I was talking about. One of the first things I said to my daughter upon her announcement that she was pregnant (with no father wanting to be in the picture, still on suboxone, and only 8 months clean) was, "You are making a huge mistake, you can't even take care of yourself and if you think a baby will 'save' you, that's a lot of responsibility to put on such a tiny being." Control, lecture, care-take, advise...my MO. Well, I cannot imagine any of our lives without the gift of this child (he is 5 now). I was wrong, and I was once again reminded that I am NOT general manger of the universe...or of anything or anyone but myself.
I still struggle with the bad habits of a lifetime...that stuff dies hard. But I am a work in progress just like everyone else. A friend from these boards sent me this when I needed it and it hangs on my bathroom mirror:
"On particularly rough days when I am sure I cannot possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through rough days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good."
How's things with you?
Peace ~ M&M
Hi MomNMore,
Just checking in after many, many months to say... I am clean two years and four months!! It IS possible after all... and I never thought I would be able to say that.
Good to see you are doing well and also good for me to have learnt so much in recovery about the earlier comments you made that I didn't understand about 'taking what you need and leaving the rest', and using this brilliant site and others a support network!
Would be great to hear from you: even if it is just to say 'hi'.
Kind regards,
Hidden Light
Just checking in after many, many months to say... I am clean two years and four months!! It IS possible after all... and I never thought I would be able to say that.
Good to see you are doing well and also good for me to have learnt so much in recovery about the earlier comments you made that I didn't understand about 'taking what you need and leaving the rest', and using this brilliant site and others a support network!
Would be great to hear from you: even if it is just to say 'hi'.
Kind regards,
Hidden Light
Hi Momnmore,
Obviously, I do not come here often.....It's very nice to hear that things are well and you are around! Your advice (and others here of course) and guidance helped me and my family in a very dire times. My daughter is doing well. Funny, I was reading about your grandson, the same exact thing happened to us. She was only 10 months sober and announced that she was pregnant. And I said the same things (similar) to what you had said. My daughter said that she is going to step up and "prove" to the world that she can do it. I think, she has done well (not without our help :) ). She is in school, has a job and is bringing up a beautiful daughter, which we adore - of course. She is 21 months old, nicknamed "Pi" - she was born on 3/14 :)
We're not giving up hopes that my daughter will do well.
Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!
Obviously, I do not come here often.....It's very nice to hear that things are well and you are around! Your advice (and others here of course) and guidance helped me and my family in a very dire times. My daughter is doing well. Funny, I was reading about your grandson, the same exact thing happened to us. She was only 10 months sober and announced that she was pregnant. And I said the same things (similar) to what you had said. My daughter said that she is going to step up and "prove" to the world that she can do it. I think, she has done well (not without our help :) ). She is in school, has a job and is bringing up a beautiful daughter, which we adore - of course. She is 21 months old, nicknamed "Pi" - she was born on 3/14 :)
We're not giving up hopes that my daughter will do well.
Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!
And love this STATEMENT:
"On particularly rough days when I am sure I cannot possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through rough days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good."
"On particularly rough days when I am sure I cannot possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through rough days so far is 100%, and that's pretty good."
Print it and hang it somewhere prominent...it helps =)
Hi HL, I saw your story and could not be any happier for you...GO YOU!
I pop in once in awhile on a whim. I no longer need to be here, and I paid it forward as best I could during my tenure here in this community, so I stepped aside to let others take their turn.
I'm so happy for your family that you have a granddaughter...it's amazin, isn't it?
All the best to one and all ~ M&M
Hi HL, I saw your story and could not be any happier for you...GO YOU!
I pop in once in awhile on a whim. I no longer need to be here, and I paid it forward as best I could during my tenure here in this community, so I stepped aside to let others take their turn.
I'm so happy for your family that you have a granddaughter...it's amazin, isn't it?
All the best to one and all ~ M&M
