hi everyone! I was told to post my story under the family/partners of addicts. I understand how many of you feel and I myself am at a complete sate of confusion and hurt. I had been living with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. My boyfriend and I are both in recovery for different drug addictions. When I met my boyfriend we were both in recovery and for the year and a half that I was living there life with him was the best experiance I had ever had. However, my dream world came to an abrupt end when back in november my boyfriend began using again. In novemeber he started staying out all night and left me calling his cell phone in complete wirry that something was wrong. Then after several times of his dissappearing acts taking place I contacted his parents on thanksgiving because he was missing for two days. Those two days became two weeks and during that time my boyfriend pawned off many things from his condo, stole his parents dvd player and some of their checks, my laptop with all my school work on it was stolen and he had overdrawn his account by 1,000 dollers. Finally we found him baracaded in his house.He overdosed on pills and was unconcious on the bed. he was rushed to the hospital and for two days was on a ventilator. After we awoke and began getting better he was transferred to the phychiatric ward at one of the nearby hospitals. he stayed there for about 2 weeks when he signed himself out so he could go into a rehab. Now during this time his father who bought my boyfriend his car and rented him out his condo, sold my boyfriends car and gave up my boyfriends condo. His father was angry at what his son had done. His father loves his son but is using tough love on him. Anyway my boyfriend went into rehab, was there about a week and last sunday signed himself out of the rehab and has been living on the streets ever since. I located him last thursay and he cried in my car stating he had nothing left. we sat crying in the car together and he got out and walked away. the nexted day he called me and told me that he loved me and that I still wanted me in his life. It has been two days and I have not heard from him. Nobody has heard from him. This has been the worst expeeiance of my life. I have lost weight and cry everyday. I am so scared he is going to die out on the streets. His family is completely devistated and my boyfriends son does not understand what happened to his father. I can not believe that one drug, one relapse can cause so much hurt, betrayal, and pain. last year i had an abortion with his child and now i feel as if he is dead because we do not know where he is. I feel so alone and do not know where to turn. this has been a nightmare and i feel like i am never going to wake up. Crack coccaine has devistated my world along with my boyfriends world and his family. thanks for reading
Thanks for spending time here, Kimberly. Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this very, very distressful time. I know you are worried sick -- let's trust in God that his survival instincts will take hold as he struggles with his addiction. Please stay with us. Although strangers, others are here for you.
Dear Kim, I have never spoken to you before though in your post you wrote how could one relapse become so horrible, or take away everything.... On Dec. 13 th my bf relapsed, he also died that night. Although I beleive that if he knew what the outcome of his relapse would of resulted in he would of refrained, though, he relapsed. You can see my story in this sect. under Struggling. I am sorry to hear the pain you are going through and hope that your bf is alive or comes around to his recovery. My bf started to, though wasn't yet strong enough, or honest enough with the dangers it posed, to beat it. I am sure you must be exhausted, my prayers are with you. Dora
Dear Kimberly,
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because I know the pain you are feeling. I've been in that same situation with my 29 year old son. He lost his own cell phone because he couldn't pay his bill anymore...everything was going for her heroin...so I gave him mine so I could contact him to make sure he was ok atleast once a night. He chose not to answer until he needed me for a ride or something. I think he used it more for his contacts. My husband told me that if he didn't answer I should take the phone back, but I felt atleast an occasional call let me know he was ok then. I took whatever I could get. The other times my heart was breaking worrying about where he was or what condition he was in. The sentence I just wrote, just doesn't seem to express the hurt I was feeling, but I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying.
To make a long story short, my son got into trouble with the law - retail theft to support his habit - and we had the opportunity to get him out on bail. My husband was starting to give him conditions for getting out and I - the usually soft one - said no. I was the one searching for him all those nights. I was the one who couldn't sleep. I was the one that was lied to because I was the one trying to keep him safe. The judge made me realize that my son could have killed himself or someone else driving under the influence like he had and he could kill himself any time he took the heroin just like Phil's son, so I had to love him enough to make him detox in prison. I had gotten him information on rehabs and offered to get a loan to pay for it for him, but he didn't want to go through the pain. Well, he detoxed in prison and when we got to see him, our "old" son was back! I realize he could relapse at any time, but we're praying he doesn't. He's going to start his outpatient rehab tomorrow and he's seeing a doctor to get on suboxone on Tuesday. We're trying to give him every advantage to stay better, but he has to do it himself.
I think heroin is the most demonic drug there is because it actually takes away the person's soul. When they are under the influence of it, they don't care about anyone or anything....just heroin.
I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of advice to offer because I'm pretty close to the same situation as you except that for now my son is here. If he gets into trouble right now, he has to go back to prison until he hearing. Before heroin, my son was a caring, kind, loving, hardworking, and mostly honest person. All I can do is tell you that I will pray for you, your boyfriend, and his family. I care and I understand your pain. We didn't ask for this, but with the help of God, our family, and friends on this board we WILL get through this one day at a time!
God bless your heart!
Love,
Susan
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because I know the pain you are feeling. I've been in that same situation with my 29 year old son. He lost his own cell phone because he couldn't pay his bill anymore...everything was going for her heroin...so I gave him mine so I could contact him to make sure he was ok atleast once a night. He chose not to answer until he needed me for a ride or something. I think he used it more for his contacts. My husband told me that if he didn't answer I should take the phone back, but I felt atleast an occasional call let me know he was ok then. I took whatever I could get. The other times my heart was breaking worrying about where he was or what condition he was in. The sentence I just wrote, just doesn't seem to express the hurt I was feeling, but I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying.
To make a long story short, my son got into trouble with the law - retail theft to support his habit - and we had the opportunity to get him out on bail. My husband was starting to give him conditions for getting out and I - the usually soft one - said no. I was the one searching for him all those nights. I was the one who couldn't sleep. I was the one that was lied to because I was the one trying to keep him safe. The judge made me realize that my son could have killed himself or someone else driving under the influence like he had and he could kill himself any time he took the heroin just like Phil's son, so I had to love him enough to make him detox in prison. I had gotten him information on rehabs and offered to get a loan to pay for it for him, but he didn't want to go through the pain. Well, he detoxed in prison and when we got to see him, our "old" son was back! I realize he could relapse at any time, but we're praying he doesn't. He's going to start his outpatient rehab tomorrow and he's seeing a doctor to get on suboxone on Tuesday. We're trying to give him every advantage to stay better, but he has to do it himself.
I think heroin is the most demonic drug there is because it actually takes away the person's soul. When they are under the influence of it, they don't care about anyone or anything....just heroin.
I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of advice to offer because I'm pretty close to the same situation as you except that for now my son is here. If he gets into trouble right now, he has to go back to prison until he hearing. Before heroin, my son was a caring, kind, loving, hardworking, and mostly honest person. All I can do is tell you that I will pray for you, your boyfriend, and his family. I care and I understand your pain. We didn't ask for this, but with the help of God, our family, and friends on this board we WILL get through this one day at a time!
God bless your heart!
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan, I have a lot of respect for the decision you made to have your son detox in prison. Although I was a girlfriend of an addict , I think it must be a different kind of challenge, & hard as you gave birth to your son and want to help & protect, etc.... Keep at It! You have support! Dora
Thanks, Dora. It was a VERY PAINFUL decision but the right one. I literally cried for days! I am thankful beyond what my words can express for the love,
support, and prayers of the people on this board!
Love,
Susan
support, and prayers of the people on this board!
Love,
Susan
Dear Kim, One thing I forgot to include in my reply was that it sounds like you've done a lot of work on yourself, please hold on. Although you are scared for your bf, please don't forget about you. He may turn up, we do not know, only pray..... Please do not lose sight of how far you have come to save your own life, you probably matter to more peolpe than you know. Dora
Kimberly, so sorry what you are going through. I know what its like and it hurts! I remember when my bf would pull disappearing acts and no one would hear from him and I'd be worried sick! He was basically living in his jeep when he had it. If it wasn't for his moms home, he'd be out on the streets. I too HATE crack cocaine and what its done to him, to us and his family. I wish drugs didn't exist, it just ruins everyone and everything.
Hang in there, I hope you hear from him soon!
Hang in there, I hope you hear from him soon!
Is everything ok, Kimberly?
Hey everyone...I am so touched by all the responses that were sent to me. I am crying because I felt so alone only i know i am not. Thank you all for your kidness and advice. My boyfriend is still missing. I located him last week and he cried in my car. then the next day he called me and said he still wanted me to be his girlfriend, but if not friends. we always had this friends first thing between eachother. He also called his dad and said he would never die in front of him and that he loved him and would be in contact. Its been a week and a day and still heard nothing. Everyday is a struggle and his father is hurting so badly over this. My boyfriends son has no idea what is going on, but I think about this kid all the time because my boyfriend left him years ago, returned back into his life and now is gone again. I am so afaid he will die. My boyfriend use to ask me why pain? he is right why pain? why do we all in this chat area have to feel this type of hurt and pain? You see happy families all around you and wonder why...why is that not me? I just do not understand this. If my boyfriend is never heard from again or he dies I do not know how long this hole inside me will stay. I know you guys understand the hurt. Everything is always in Gods time...its so hard to wait for Gods time sometimes. All of you guys are in my thoughts and prayers as you struggle with your significant person, whoever they may be. Some way, some how..through faith and strenghth within ourselves we will get through our situations. I unfortuantley do not get to a computer alot but when I do i look forward to seeing how everyone else is doing.
Awww Kimberly I'm so sorry to hear he is still missing. How agonizing this must be! I know the pain you are going through believe me! Mine hasn't gone missing for more than a night yet but it could happen. Keep us updated...we're all here for you and as you can see, concerned!
Wow, Kimberly, I'm so sorry you haven't heard from him in over a week. I freak out when I don't know where my son is for more than a night. I cannot begin to imagine the stress and anxiety of a week! God bless you!
I didn't used to be this way with my son before the drugs. He had gone away to college and he lived in his own apartment, and I didn't hear from him for weeks at a time, but since I've received phone calls from police departments about arresting my son and since I've learned that he was addicted to heroin, all that has changed! When I haven't heard from him and the phone rings, I take a deep breath and answer the phone...scared to death of what I might be told.
I will keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers. You deserve a normal, peaceful life just as we all do. Hope you get it some day soon!
Love,
Susan
I didn't used to be this way with my son before the drugs. He had gone away to college and he lived in his own apartment, and I didn't hear from him for weeks at a time, but since I've received phone calls from police departments about arresting my son and since I've learned that he was addicted to heroin, all that has changed! When I haven't heard from him and the phone rings, I take a deep breath and answer the phone...scared to death of what I might be told.
I will keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers. You deserve a normal, peaceful life just as we all do. Hope you get it some day soon!
Love,
Susan