I am scared to even do this. I was googling diet pills when this site came up. I like it, I look forward to reading everyones experiences. Here's my story.
I married a man who was a former addict with alcohol and pain pills. I was 21, he 40. I didn't quite understand life I think then. Now, 10 years later, I have been battling a problem with first Propoxyphene (Darvon comp/65) and now my husbands Kadian 60mg. and 10 of Oxycodone. He shares with me, because he'll eat them fast enough w/o my help.But now he hides them because I get into them. I take several at a time when I have them, even though I tell myself to hold on to them for when I really need them. Never do. I am most scared about my body hurting. Especially my lower back. No real reason to take them at first, then I had a doctor we nicknamed "Dr. Feelgood".My question is this: I know I am not taking very high quantities but I want to quit myself. No insurance, and I HATE what I have become. Yesterday wasn't so bad, but I couldn't sleep last night. Legs and arms kept twitching, skin tingling, and my whole body hurts today. I tell myself "Okay, if someone says it's gonna be 10 days to get over this, I'll make it" Fear of the unknown, I guess. Also, does taking all this contribute to weight gain? I am nervous, but I would just like a little advice. I admitted to my husband a couple of weeks ago, but he still offers them to me, and of course I accept. I think he keeps me this way to justify his behavior, otherwise, he's a great guy. Any advice? Thanks.
Hey newbie.The ONLY advice I can give or say is that there really is no easy way out.You can live a sober life but it does take work.With your husband still handing them to you I see that your in a bad deal here.Because when the W/D hit it will be so easy for you to give in & take something to make it all go away/I know you said no insurence,but there must be free programs you can look into.What it all comes down to is YOU.YOU are the one who needs to make changes.I hope you do because the way your living now isnt living its just getting through each day.Good Luck toyou....mj
Until you both get clean, you'll struggle like hell trying to get yourself clean. Temptation is too much when we're going through withdrawals and I know very few that can do it on their own. You really don't have too either.
Do you have other support in your family? Friends? Is your husband getting them for legit problems?
The withdrawals won't kill you and you can go cold turkey and make it, but then what? You need to think about the long term. How do you stay strong enough to not take the pills from your husband? How do you live your life without them? Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hardest thing you'll ever do.
Glad you're here. Keep talking.
Cowgirl
Do you have other support in your family? Friends? Is your husband getting them for legit problems?
The withdrawals won't kill you and you can go cold turkey and make it, but then what? You need to think about the long term. How do you stay strong enough to not take the pills from your husband? How do you live your life without them? Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hardest thing you'll ever do.
Glad you're here. Keep talking.
Cowgirl
What Cowgirl Said. This can be done, but you have to want it more than life itself.
Hello Rimp,
Welcome to the Board. I agree with all of the other posts. I was also in a similiar situation as you. Me and my husband were injured in a car accident, and I also have other health problems. We tried many times on our own to get clean. Eventually, either the addiction or the pain took over, and we would use again. After a few years of "chaos", we both realized we were "addicts", we needed help. We had Dr's to help us with withdrawals, but we both never took our "recovery" as serious as we needed too. Yes, staying clean is very is the difficult part. My husband went thru w/d's and attends N/A. I am currently on Suboxene and tapering every 2 weeks. I should be finished after the holidays. I also go to alot of AA Meetings and see a Counselor. This is something we never thought we would have to deal with. We have been together for 20 years, and never used for at least 17 of those years. I have over 90 days clean, he has closer to 60 days. He used, but I stayed VERY active in AA and seeked support for that month. Because "I" wanted to be clean and sober for "me". The difference in our lives today is like night and day. We did not realize how "sick" we were. The pain was worst on pain meds, now when I don't feel well, I allow myself to lay down for an hour with an ice pack or heat. I even went thru Surgery without pain meds (other than what they put in me to knock me out to do the procedure). It's amazing what Ibruprophen can do. I have a long way to go still, but my days today are so much better than any of the days that I "used". I am sorry, I rambled. But you can do this, but you will need some support. I wish you the very best, keep posting. Take care, Best Wishes
Welcome to the Board. I agree with all of the other posts. I was also in a similiar situation as you. Me and my husband were injured in a car accident, and I also have other health problems. We tried many times on our own to get clean. Eventually, either the addiction or the pain took over, and we would use again. After a few years of "chaos", we both realized we were "addicts", we needed help. We had Dr's to help us with withdrawals, but we both never took our "recovery" as serious as we needed too. Yes, staying clean is very is the difficult part. My husband went thru w/d's and attends N/A. I am currently on Suboxene and tapering every 2 weeks. I should be finished after the holidays. I also go to alot of AA Meetings and see a Counselor. This is something we never thought we would have to deal with. We have been together for 20 years, and never used for at least 17 of those years. I have over 90 days clean, he has closer to 60 days. He used, but I stayed VERY active in AA and seeked support for that month. Because "I" wanted to be clean and sober for "me". The difference in our lives today is like night and day. We did not realize how "sick" we were. The pain was worst on pain meds, now when I don't feel well, I allow myself to lay down for an hour with an ice pack or heat. I even went thru Surgery without pain meds (other than what they put in me to knock me out to do the procedure). It's amazing what Ibruprophen can do. I have a long way to go still, but my days today are so much better than any of the days that I "used". I am sorry, I rambled. But you can do this, but you will need some support. I wish you the very best, keep posting. Take care, Best Wishes
Hi Rimp , welcome to the board ! In answer to your first question , the worst should be over in five to seven days .You still might not feel great but you should be feeling better , certainly not as badly as you feel now .
As far as staying clean , I personally go to meetings . Doing that has not been the hardest thing I ever did in my life . In fact , I enjoy them . I didn't get clean to be miserable or feel that I was in for the fight of my life . I try and take it one day at a time and sure enough at the end of each day I find myself with another day clean and sober .
I have met alot of wonderful people in those rooms and have made many friends .With their help , I have managed to stay clean for the past eight months.
Having a spouse that is active does not make anything easier . You just have to take care of yourself .Over time he may see how happy you are without the pills and may follow your lead .
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing .I know how awful you feel right now but it won't last forever Rob
As far as staying clean , I personally go to meetings . Doing that has not been the hardest thing I ever did in my life . In fact , I enjoy them . I didn't get clean to be miserable or feel that I was in for the fight of my life . I try and take it one day at a time and sure enough at the end of each day I find myself with another day clean and sober .
I have met alot of wonderful people in those rooms and have made many friends .With their help , I have managed to stay clean for the past eight months.
Having a spouse that is active does not make anything easier . You just have to take care of yourself .Over time he may see how happy you are without the pills and may follow your lead .
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing .I know how awful you feel right now but it won't last forever Rob
