Hello,
I am extremely new to this and this is the first time as an addict's wife I have sought help for myself. My husband who is my best friend and soul mate has fallen to the mercy of opiate (pills) addiction. He has suffered much trauma in his life and as of almost one year ago his pain overcame him. He went to rehab last year and when he came out we had every hope he would stay on the right path. He has not taken all the right steps with staying on the road to recovery and we have been in an endless hamster wheel of him staying clean and relapse. This past week was rock bottom when he stole money from my purse. I had no choice but to kick him out. It kills me inside. I have tried everything. I support him in his recovery and always ask that he just be honest when he relapses so we can work on recovery together. I told him wheb he is ready to talk and devise a real plan for help he can come home. I know he wants to get better but he is so ashamed and guilt ridden he just can't seem to get up. I have looked into a local outpatient treatment center that can provide intensive treatment around his work schedule but I know he has to want to do it. I am so lost and burned out. I cannot give up on him but I feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Any words of encouragement or advice is greatly welcomed. I have stayed strong for so long but I'm running out of gas.
Is he attending NA meetings?
Rehab is useless in most cases unless it is followed up with commitment to NA/AA.
NA will help him.
Nar-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
Rehab is useless in most cases unless it is followed up with commitment to NA/AA.
NA will help him.
Nar-Anon will help you.
All the best.
Bob R
Hi bob,
He has attended them but never faithfully. He starts and then stops thinking he can do it on his own. I just don't know how I can be more supportive. It's like a hamster wheel. I am always supportive then when he relapses and I uncover all the lies, I get so angry. I never know thr fine line between support and enabling.
He has attended them but never faithfully. He starts and then stops thinking he can do it on his own. I just don't know how I can be more supportive. It's like a hamster wheel. I am always supportive then when he relapses and I uncover all the lies, I get so angry. I never know thr fine line between support and enabling.
Nar-Anon can help you get your life back. They use the same 12 Steps as AA/NA.
Here is AA's HOW IT WORKS ... NA is very similar. There is no start & stop in it !!
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I don't believe that lack of support from you is his problem.
I do believe that HIS addiction has got YOU all spun out ... you have a problem with that.
You need to be restored to sanity ....
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Here is AA's HOW IT WORKS ... NA is very similar. There is no start & stop in it !!
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I don't believe that lack of support from you is his problem.
I do believe that HIS addiction has got YOU all spun out ... you have a problem with that.
You need to be restored to sanity ....
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Dear Chris,
I would like to add a few ideas. Papa Bear knows his stuff, by the way. I would listen carefully to his advice.
It is common for addicts in early recovery to relapse. I applaud you for allowing him to experience the consquences of his actions. Enabling behavior is a killer. As you probably know, recovery is 100% up to him. It is not uncommon for someone to stumble several times before finding long-term recovery. Some people find it quickly, other slowly. But, if they keep attending meetings like AA or NA and work the program, the program will work.
Based on your post I suspect you are part of an Al Anon or NAR Anon group? If not, please attend a meeting. Do not try this on your own. Addiction is a special kind of problem and requires a special approach. You will find support and understanding. It is important that you are as healthy as possible - first for yourself, and second it will put you in a position to know how to handle baffeling (sp?) problems.
Good luck. Post back if you'd like
I would like to add a few ideas. Papa Bear knows his stuff, by the way. I would listen carefully to his advice.
It is common for addicts in early recovery to relapse. I applaud you for allowing him to experience the consquences of his actions. Enabling behavior is a killer. As you probably know, recovery is 100% up to him. It is not uncommon for someone to stumble several times before finding long-term recovery. Some people find it quickly, other slowly. But, if they keep attending meetings like AA or NA and work the program, the program will work.
Based on your post I suspect you are part of an Al Anon or NAR Anon group? If not, please attend a meeting. Do not try this on your own. Addiction is a special kind of problem and requires a special approach. You will find support and understanding. It is important that you are as healthy as possible - first for yourself, and second it will put you in a position to know how to handle baffeling (sp?) problems.
Good luck. Post back if you'd like
Thank you bob and fly boy.
I am not a part of that group, but I know I have to join. This is the single hardest thing I have done in my life. I researched multiple intensive outpatient programs for my husband and found a few. I just talked to him and told him when he is ready to go into treatment and discuss his recovery he can come home. He said he wants to and is open to the idea but is scared of failing. I again enforced that he can't come home until he is ready. He assured me he would call tomorrow. I'm scared tomorrow will turn into the next day and the next. I am trying my best to be strong but supportive.. it's hard not to break. Thanks for your words.
Chris
I am not a part of that group, but I know I have to join. This is the single hardest thing I have done in my life. I researched multiple intensive outpatient programs for my husband and found a few. I just talked to him and told him when he is ready to go into treatment and discuss his recovery he can come home. He said he wants to and is open to the idea but is scared of failing. I again enforced that he can't come home until he is ready. He assured me he would call tomorrow. I'm scared tomorrow will turn into the next day and the next. I am trying my best to be strong but supportive.. it's hard not to break. Thanks for your words.
Chris
