SO today is day 3 clean for me. I decided to wait until I had a few days before I posted it. I tried last time but my heart wasn't in it so this time I decided to pick a day that meant alot to me as my quit date. Well no date means more to me then my sons 3rd birthday so that is the day I chose to quit.Yesterday was alright but I am not getting very much sleep. I'm so restless but yet exhausted at the same time. I am also surely going to lose weight cause my appetite is also non existent.
I am not doing this for me though. I'm doing it for my kids. They are the only reason I was ever able to quit before(during both pregnancies) & they are the reason I am clean right now. Jo, the dreams you talked about are plagueing me. When I finally did fall asleep there were robots chasing us & I was trying to keep my son alive. It was very scary & I felt so relieved when I woke up in my comfy, warm bed. I hope everyone else is doing well. :)
aea
good for you aea- day 3! keep going don't let the dreams stop you. i used to smoke before i went to sleep so i wouldn't dream.
someone suggested to me here and i do it; make an affirmation for good dreams before going to sleep. i do this with my daugher too who has bad dreams.... we make a pledge for only good dreams, (and for me insightful dreams).... and the bad dreams mostly have stopped. try to give yourself the 'suggestion' and see where your mind goes.
the dreams are your mind 'waking up' you brain is no longer numbed/medicated.... it's troubling but a good sign, it's healing... try to look at it that way. i try to embrace them whatever they are. sleep is an issue in getting clean and yet sometimes it's all i can do to escape my reality.
i miss the weed a lot... but in the middle of the night when i wake, as i did last night.... and there was no coughing, or raw feeling in my throat, and my dreams were right there and my mind was focused in the here and now and 3am.... i knew/i know i'm doing the right thing. i have to call on that all day sometimes to remind me .... to have faith that someday this will all be behind me.
keep going girl...i'm here for you!
love you...xo jojo
someone suggested to me here and i do it; make an affirmation for good dreams before going to sleep. i do this with my daugher too who has bad dreams.... we make a pledge for only good dreams, (and for me insightful dreams).... and the bad dreams mostly have stopped. try to give yourself the 'suggestion' and see where your mind goes.
the dreams are your mind 'waking up' you brain is no longer numbed/medicated.... it's troubling but a good sign, it's healing... try to look at it that way. i try to embrace them whatever they are. sleep is an issue in getting clean and yet sometimes it's all i can do to escape my reality.
i miss the weed a lot... but in the middle of the night when i wake, as i did last night.... and there was no coughing, or raw feeling in my throat, and my dreams were right there and my mind was focused in the here and now and 3am.... i knew/i know i'm doing the right thing. i have to call on that all day sometimes to remind me .... to have faith that someday this will all be behind me.
keep going girl...i'm here for you!
love you...xo jojo
Jo~ Thanks so much for your encouragement & support. Things are so good today & I know what you mean about your throat not hurting. Its only been 3 days & already I can feel less pain in my lungs when I'm exercising. I just have to stick with it this time. My hubby is being very supportive & has kept it completely out of my face which I so appreciate. Last night I took my spot my his side while he was on the computer & I was triggered so bad that I just said he babe I can't do this. I have to go upstairs. He was so sweet & he came up with me & chilled. I was so happy that this time he knows I really HAVE to do this. He wants it for me to because he knows that my music makes me happy & I'm not happy if I'm not singing. Singing is just to hard when your throat is SHOT from smoking. I am resting my voice for a few days but this weekend we are going to an open mic night so I can get the taste of the stage again & hopefully that will help me stay strong in my sobriety. Please keep me in your thoughts JO! I am so proud of you & I KNOW if you can do it so can I. Thanks for the dream help. I do pray before bed everynight but maybe I should envision some comforting place before I fall asleep. The thing is it seems my mind goes wild for about 2 hours before I can sleep. If I can keep it light(my mind wanderings) maybe I can break the bad dreams. I'll keep ya posted! :) Love ya,
aea
aea
Hi there!!
Firstly well done for making it to day 3!!! Just somrthing that stands out for me in your share and that is that you are doing this for your kids. You have got to start doing this for youself otherwise you are doomed to failure!!! I cannot emphsize this enough.
When i started to get clean i was doing it for all the wrong reasons, my wife, my child, my family, my councillor etc needless to say i had relapse after relapse. Only after i was able to find the right reason for wanting to stop (ie- For me) was i able to really quit without having any real problems with it.
Hope this may help!!!
Firstly well done for making it to day 3!!! Just somrthing that stands out for me in your share and that is that you are doing this for your kids. You have got to start doing this for youself otherwise you are doomed to failure!!! I cannot emphsize this enough.
When i started to get clean i was doing it for all the wrong reasons, my wife, my child, my family, my councillor etc needless to say i had relapse after relapse. Only after i was able to find the right reason for wanting to stop (ie- For me) was i able to really quit without having any real problems with it.
Hope this may help!!!
Well done on making it to day 3. I agree you need to quit for yourself, but implicitly it seems you may be doing this, as you understand the effects of smoking on your passion and purpose - singing.
I follow the posts here on the mj board, and what strikes me is most people try and quit with willpower alone. Success on this board is also pretty low, with most posters having an ongoing strugle. Well, I know most addicts do, but the low key ongoing effects of mj give more time and space than drugs like crack or heroin, where jails, institutions or death come faster.
I have posted before that for me quitting cocaine and mj was very much about learning new coping skills with life. I know many of you are not fans of n/a or 12 step programmes, but they have helped me tremendously.
But we must all find our own path. All I can ask you is what are you doing differently this time, to the last times, which all ended with relapse?
Hope my post makes sense, and is taken in its constuctive and supportive spirit.
Wel done for quitting, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to the weed.
Take care
calabash
I follow the posts here on the mj board, and what strikes me is most people try and quit with willpower alone. Success on this board is also pretty low, with most posters having an ongoing strugle. Well, I know most addicts do, but the low key ongoing effects of mj give more time and space than drugs like crack or heroin, where jails, institutions or death come faster.
I have posted before that for me quitting cocaine and mj was very much about learning new coping skills with life. I know many of you are not fans of n/a or 12 step programmes, but they have helped me tremendously.
But we must all find our own path. All I can ask you is what are you doing differently this time, to the last times, which all ended with relapse?
Hope my post makes sense, and is taken in its constuctive and supportive spirit.
Wel done for quitting, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to the weed.
Take care
calabash
Well I am far past day 3 now. Today is day 12 for me & I feel the best I have in years. Honestly in the past when I have tried to quit I never really made it past day 3 usually not even past day 1. I said I was trying & then flat out didnt do it. I kept reading the only way to quit is to quit & now I see what they were saying. I have changed a few habits such as sitting with my hubby when hes playing his computer games. I find it very triggering for me cause thats when I would smoke the most. Now I take a nice hot bath every evening while he plays his game. In the past I had even just cut down my consumption & called it quitting but this time I have really had not even one puff. I am not sure what is different or why my attitude is different, it just is. I feel I have been released from prison & I am never going back to that place. I really had my doubts about my very survival being off the mj before but now I know I can live without & I am happy to do so. Now that I have come this far I am determined not to go back & this time there is no white knuckling it. I have been there & done that & I always reverted to smoking again. This time my outlook is different, I just feel differently about mj. She is no longer a friend. I guess only time will tell as I have failed so many times before that I completely understand why anyone reading my posts would be skeptical. One other habit I have changed is my eating habits. I have to eat first thing when I get up now & must continue to eat small meals through out the day. If I go very long between meals I for some reason get the nausea again. SO sad to think about how much I was starving my body before. Thanks for writing & caring & sharing!
aea
aea
