Do all addicts have the power of manipulating people? I have never let anyone do this to me before. But my husband could tell me that it is my fault that it is raining today, and I would believe him! Trying to break free from him altogether. Any thoughts?
Not all but most do. My name is Darin and I am a recovering addict. Stop believing what he says...he is an addict and NOTHING he says holds weight while he is in active addiction. YOU matter most in all of this. You have to think for YOU! Freedom will come if you choose to make that break/change. Dont settle and bare a burden that does not belong to you. All the best to you!
Darin
Darin
oh yes we addicts are masters of manipulation! we are used to getting what we want and need when we want it and when we need it we will lie cheat steal and decieve to get our fix.lieing and addiction go hand in hand,lieing is an addictive behavior.not only do we lie to others but we constantly lie to ourselves.we can even decieve ourselves into believing our own lies! lies like im ok or i dont have a problem or im not hurting anybody by doing drugs.yes i wish i could say i never decieved anyone in my addiction but i did it on a daily basis.i would be willing to say that 90 persent of addicts are manipulators and the other 10 persent jus dont have anybody or they would too.so take it from an ex manipulating addict the only way we stop is when we stop doing drugs and even then it is a trait thar is hard to give up because we are so used to doing it! even in my recovery it is one of my shortcommings that i am working on removing and believe me its hard and i no longer want to be like that but you get used to a behavior.its kind of like teaching an old dog but it can be done! hope this helps you in some way.ill bet that most recovering addicts would agree with me.
I agree 1000%
laneyanne,
A couple of baisc rules as you begin to face the beast head on:
1. Trust your gut
2. Trust your gut
3. Trust your gut.
Ever have these arguments when you know what you are saying, you have the proof to back it up and you know your gonna bust him this time......and it ends up sooooooo nothing like that - you end up feeling appauled at yourself for having spied on him and having invaded his privacy, appauled at yourself at the anger you demonstrated and swearing that you have to chage yourself or he will leave you?
Laneyanne - trust yourself and know that you are the sane one in the relationship no matter what he throws at you.
Also do a search (bottom righthand side of this page) for a post called 8 easy ways to spot an emotional abuser - it literally changed my life!
A couple of baisc rules as you begin to face the beast head on:
1. Trust your gut
2. Trust your gut
3. Trust your gut.
Ever have these arguments when you know what you are saying, you have the proof to back it up and you know your gonna bust him this time......and it ends up sooooooo nothing like that - you end up feeling appauled at yourself for having spied on him and having invaded his privacy, appauled at yourself at the anger you demonstrated and swearing that you have to chage yourself or he will leave you?
Laneyanne - trust yourself and know that you are the sane one in the relationship no matter what he throws at you.
Also do a search (bottom righthand side of this page) for a post called 8 easy ways to spot an emotional abuser - it literally changed my life!
I don't think all addicts do, I certainly don't, although I admit I got better at lieing to myself and believing it as Bruce B says, I have always been a bad liar so when I lied about where I was going when I went to go pick up the people around me could sense that something was wrong. My mother, on the other hand, who was a prifessional heroin addict, had a certain nack for lieing and manipulation, she was/is a master at it, and admits it to this day (now that she is sober) She taught me that there is a skill behind this apparently, she can look me dead in the eye and with a straight face tell me that there were purple elephants dancing in her bedroom and I would end up believing her and questioning my own sanity, as in "Why can't I see the purple elephants? What is wrong with me?" Lieing and manipulation, unfortunately becomes our way of life, if we don't lie, we can't use, so as addicts we have to come up with all sorts of ways to get over on people to get what we want. Sheesh. What a strssfull way to live! Darin is right, you really can't believe anything your husband says right now, because he only has one thing in mind, #1, and that number 1 is dope.
Thanks so much for your insights everyone. I read the suggested post. I printed it and have it with me. WOW - that is my husband to a tee! I never recognized it for what it is. THANKS!!
The longer I used the more hard up i got to get high and the lower I would sink to use. The longer your in it you do get better at lying NO is: no longer is a option you learn to cry, beg, steal, lie, pawn, by any means nessary. You get more desprate I guess not better but, sicker. You start to belive the babble you are saying you justify what you do because you don't want to be sick. Who you hurt you don't feel or care about because you are not attached. I remember my mom yelling you know this is killing me, my responce was I WISH IT WOULD kill me. This was in a hospital I thought my arm was going to be lost to a staf infection. You feel dead inside after a while, being high feels good at 1st then it's about not feeling like crap. When your not using you feel so EMPTY so void of everything. I never want to go there again but, almost 1 year clean i still crave it "insane". Besides lying addictions causes guilt trasfer trying to blame other people 4 your problem. I'm so sorry for all the usless crap i've put poor my ol mom thru.
Thats funny -my g/f used to say the same thing about me- -
"You would be able to talk Jesus off the cross" - "you could sell ice cubes to an eskomo" - stuff like that- -
I think the manipulation thing is a defence mech. that pops up so we dont look so bad, or take the blame for so much bad sh** that we do
peace,
jack
"You would be able to talk Jesus off the cross" - "you could sell ice cubes to an eskomo" - stuff like that- -
I think the manipulation thing is a defence mech. that pops up so we dont look so bad, or take the blame for so much bad sh** that we do
peace,
jack
Do all addicts have the power of manipulating people?
No! We allow them to manipulate us. The only power is the power we give them. There is no mystical magical force. We believe what we want to believe because we avoid the truth that our loved ones are addicted. We want things to be the way they where so we pretend and try to not make waves.
No! We allow them to manipulate us. The only power is the power we give them. There is no mystical magical force. We believe what we want to believe because we avoid the truth that our loved ones are addicted. We want things to be the way they where so we pretend and try to not make waves.
wow hurtdad has hit the other side of the nail on the head.if you thought i made sense listen to hurt dad! because we may be able to manipulate but only what can be manipulated! dont let yourself be a usee.the more you let him manipulate you the more you enable him in his disease.
