Our 51 year old was arrested last week, he is in our local jail and goes to court 20th of April.
This is all surreal for us and his family is reeling from all this. He has two brothers and three sisters, not to mention the nieces and nephews.
We are both beside ourselves trying to decided what or how to help him. Emotions are swirling around like a roller coaster for all of us. Myself I am feeling guilty. As a human I can tell you I can think of something's I wish I had not done or some I wish I had done while raising him. I cry off and on and then wonder if I am crying for him or myself. Not a nice place to be.
Looking for personal help with all this I found this site. Thank you for allowing me to vent. I am open to any advice.
Dear Dinga,Your son is a grown man he is 51 years old...Once again I will state you are not responsible for an adults choices or decisions. ...it is a person's free will.....We do the best we can as parents to teach right from wrong..we take all we have learned in our journey of life combined with what our parents have taught us and do our best to relay all the lessons onto our children. ..Not once Not EVER.....did I say to my son drugs are ok...I did not do drugs nor was I into alcohol....I did not work when my son was little I was there I was the Team Mom,Our home was the neighborhood home where there was always laughter love countless sleep overs...I didn't introduce my beautiful son to drugs ...I cannot fight the invisible enemy of addiction. ....My son has had numerous rehabs jail time...each day now we pray as he is doing his best to be clean. ...and I pray he remains strong as he is now trying to find a job with a long rap sheet.
.but this is his battle I can only cheer him on and love him....You cannot pay for your sons mistakes and you cannot punish yourself for a 51 year old man's mistakes....He is the one who must now answer to his actions...not you.You did nothing wrong....Addiction is so destructive....we all realize how it effects the addict but it leaves a trail of destruction in its path....it has a hurtful impact on the addicts parents loved ones brothers sisters.As much as the addict is addicted to the drug we become addicted to trying to save them fix them help them...as much as they get lost to the drugs we get lost to them...it depresses us isolates us throws aniexities our way...as a country we need to do more to address this ...we want to call it a diease but insurance companies feel this diease can be cured within days....we are losing this battle ....they feel they are just junkies ...but what they don't realize is tomorrow their own might be experimenting with drugs....it effects more then just the user it is literally destroying the present and future of society.
.but this is his battle I can only cheer him on and love him....You cannot pay for your sons mistakes and you cannot punish yourself for a 51 year old man's mistakes....He is the one who must now answer to his actions...not you.You did nothing wrong....Addiction is so destructive....we all realize how it effects the addict but it leaves a trail of destruction in its path....it has a hurtful impact on the addicts parents loved ones brothers sisters.As much as the addict is addicted to the drug we become addicted to trying to save them fix them help them...as much as they get lost to the drugs we get lost to them...it depresses us isolates us throws aniexities our way...as a country we need to do more to address this ...we want to call it a diease but insurance companies feel this diease can be cured within days....we are losing this battle ....they feel they are just junkies ...but what they don't realize is tomorrow their own might be experimenting with drugs....it effects more then just the user it is literally destroying the present and future of society.
