I need help please. My son is 17, smokes pot regularly. Falling grades, lack of interest in anything. Now driving. The HS he attends is filled with drug use, pot being the least of it. He has tried mushrooms, and I recently found opium, which I took away. His father and I have done all the yelling we can do, i.e. your future etc. I need some help, and would greatly appreciate any advice.How do you get a teenager to stop this behaviour? Find a new circle of kids to hang with that don't use drugs. I am in NJ.
YOU won't be able to get him to stop. I've learned that the only one who make him want to stop is himself. My now 20 yr old son, started with marijuana when he was 16 - it was an art form to him - he had to have all the fancy paraphenalia that went along with it - he mostly did it alone - it wasn't a social thing for him. His older brother turned him in once when I was out of the country. Unfortunately, they didn't put him in jail. Throughout his juvenile years - we were in court a few times, had weekly visits with a court appointed counselor, had weekly visits with a school appointed counselor, had visits with clergy - I tried everything I could think of. None of it worked and I was a wreck. I'm a mother of 5 sons, 2 daughters, and 2 stepdaughters.....and now 13 grandchildren. I finally hit the last straw and told him he would have to leave...he could leave voluntarily or I could involve the police. He hit the streets for about 6 weeks - staying with friends a few night here and there and then moved in with his father for a while - and then moved in with his girlfriend - who has stuck with him through thick and thin. I found out last month that he had graduated on to hard use Cocaine. He had been doing it for about 3 months. He told me that he didn't ever do anything more than marijuana until I kicked him out.....oh the guilt I have...but I couldn't have done anything different at the time....When he was doing cocaine, he would do it every hour on the hour for 2-3 days straight.....to make this long story short - he hit rock bottom and came to me for help. He is now seeing a counselor, going to a 12 step program through the Church, seeing his Bishop twice weekly, and planning to marry his girlfriend next month. He's an addict and has a long road ahead of him, but with the help the Lord and his family he will make it. MY ADVICE - DO SOMETHING DRASTIC NOW! Don't wait until he's into so bad that he graduates into the cocaine or worse. Don't keep thinking that if I love him enough that he will straighten out...I have a friend who "kidnapped" her 15 yr old son and put him in a behind bars drug treatment facility for teens that has saved his life. He admits that it was the best thing that could have been done for him and is now grateful to his parents for being tough. I wish I had known about that facility when my son was 16 and had the courage to put him in it. God Bless You and give you courage.
You know what needs to be done. Rehab as last resort. Start with AA and if all else fails get some help from your local police. That is what jump started my brother from drugs and a future that looked as if he was to have a inmate number. The police picked him up and scared him to death. My mother called the police and explained the situation. Nothing like taking a look at your future to clear things up.