my name is Merry and my story seems like everyone elses pretty much.
I have been married for 3 yrs to what I thought was a "clean" addict.....I had NO clue what a crack addict is thats for sure!
My husband binges, gets straight for 6-9 months, and shortly after I let my guard down... BAM here we go again.
Hes been in meetings, in patient, out patient, jail, you name it.
I moved half way across the US with him away from my family and church and support system. Needless to say 6 months down the road he went off again....36 hrs and $1000 later he reappears and we counsel with pastor....all the usual promises are made. 2 days later he does it AGAIN...this time I changed lock on the door...enough is enough.
Of course when out of money he came back and I didnt let him in.
Pastor counseled with him and so on. The next morning i met him at gas station and put 10 in gas and gave him $7 cash and sent him on his way.
That night he came begging to get in again which i refused but I did step out the door and talk to him. After crying and pouring out my hurt to him that morning he took the $7 and his WEDDING RING, pawned it and got high and stole and did whatever it is he does to get money.
I have been numb strong and tough and now I am totally brokenhearted!
Says he will get help and so on but I cant do this anymore and i dont believe his promises.
Is there any hope that it will get better?
And when will I KNOW it is?
I am a mess please pray for me.
Merry:
You poor thing. Just know that you are doing the absolute right thing. You are not enabling him and that is more better for you than you know right now.
It has to be up to him to get serious about his recovery and there is nothing you can do about it. I can't tell you if it will get better or not because that relies on him and him alone. It looks like he will have to hit rock bottom, but it doesn't look like he has too far to go!
Keep doing what you are doing and stay strong. I can't believe the pull this nasty drug has on people.
Keep posting - there is a lot of support on these boards and it helps to talk to people in the same boat.
Keep taking care of you,
Mickey
You poor thing. Just know that you are doing the absolute right thing. You are not enabling him and that is more better for you than you know right now.
It has to be up to him to get serious about his recovery and there is nothing you can do about it. I can't tell you if it will get better or not because that relies on him and him alone. It looks like he will have to hit rock bottom, but it doesn't look like he has too far to go!
Keep doing what you are doing and stay strong. I can't believe the pull this nasty drug has on people.
Keep posting - there is a lot of support on these boards and it helps to talk to people in the same boat.
Keep taking care of you,
Mickey
Merry,
thanks for sharing your painful story. Your husband may get betyter in tiem and find true recovery, but this should not be your concern. If he is going to do it, he will need to do it on his own. Don't continue to be a victim to his addiction.
Move on with the knowledge and empowerment you have gained. Pray that he finds recovery but don't look back.
all my best wishes
Sean
thanks for sharing your painful story. Your husband may get betyter in tiem and find true recovery, but this should not be your concern. If he is going to do it, he will need to do it on his own. Don't continue to be a victim to his addiction.
Move on with the knowledge and empowerment you have gained. Pray that he finds recovery but don't look back.
all my best wishes
Sean
Merry,
You may have read my posts and we are in such similar situations - I never imagined my husband would ever go down this lane in life: EVER.
You have to focus on yourself Merry and not depend on him to get your life back to normal. You have to do it for yourself - and when/if he cleans up and wants to come back - you will see later.
What I have done is to make sure I am in quite frequent contact with my husband. I call him everyday (he may spend a week without answearing but I will call) in my mind I think that way if he is ever ready to get help he can count on my being there. I gi ve him no money, where he lives has stopped being my concern. You did not bargain for that life Merry - it is not your problem.
Make sure you can make your own ends meet that is what needs to be your concern right now. Like I posted earlier - he really left you well before you left him - the first time he went to use or buy or whatever.
How old are you?
I am 30 I still have so much time to get my life into shape meet someone who cares - could even be my husband down the line, who knows -but if I wait around catering to him for God knows how long - I may not have that opportunity.
Take care of yourself, get support like you have been doing from your pastor, neighbours and friends - it is such a hard fight to put up with alone.
Keep well
You may have read my posts and we are in such similar situations - I never imagined my husband would ever go down this lane in life: EVER.
You have to focus on yourself Merry and not depend on him to get your life back to normal. You have to do it for yourself - and when/if he cleans up and wants to come back - you will see later.
What I have done is to make sure I am in quite frequent contact with my husband. I call him everyday (he may spend a week without answearing but I will call) in my mind I think that way if he is ever ready to get help he can count on my being there. I gi ve him no money, where he lives has stopped being my concern. You did not bargain for that life Merry - it is not your problem.
Make sure you can make your own ends meet that is what needs to be your concern right now. Like I posted earlier - he really left you well before you left him - the first time he went to use or buy or whatever.
How old are you?
I am 30 I still have so much time to get my life into shape meet someone who cares - could even be my husband down the line, who knows -but if I wait around catering to him for God knows how long - I may not have that opportunity.
Take care of yourself, get support like you have been doing from your pastor, neighbours and friends - it is such a hard fight to put up with alone.
Keep well