Hi,
I am married to a lifetime addict pothead. We are both in our 40's. I used to smoke regularly but grew out of it. I took on drinking as my vice and stopped 3 days ago and have begun a.a. I hope to never drink again and it is sure to destroy my life and the lives of our kids..Husband has sworn off the pot more than a hundred of times. Thown it out, given it away, etc., etc. Well, he says he is off of it again, and this time says it is forever. We are at each other's throat's, the word DIVORCE has come up a few time in the past day or two. He is HORRIBLY grouchy and on edge. I am actually okay and not craving drink and feel good. It is really making him mad that I feel good. He thinks I am going to meet someone at AA. He refuses to go too meetings, etc. He still sticks up for the pot and wants me to do it, etc. I just simply don't like the feeling anymore. Any advice for me. He is neurotic. Bugging the crap out of me. We are both really stressed out at our jobs right now and it is a tough time with the kids. Family is no help so we are on our own. He is on a huge crunch at a job and it is late at night. It is his own fault because he put it on himself because he has his own business. He said some horrible things to me today that he cannot take back by saying "sorry". We have been married 14 years and I am tired.
Hi and welcome,
Any marriage has it's ebb and flow.......addiction and co-dependancy issues make it twice as hard to do the dance. From my experience with living with and being an addict, since 1989, we have had patterns that we're pretty comfy with, when I started to change my pattern it made my husband really uncomfortable, thus turning him into an a**. I did not like this version of my husband and there are days I'd like to trade him in for a newer model. It helps to have had a little marriage therapy, though, it got us back to a good foundation and it made me realize I'm a piece of work to live with. :-)
I truly understand where you're coming from and it sucks right now 90210 but you have been in a long term investment for awhile now, I recommend you give it a chance, try to ride the lousy waves and you will enjoy the benefits of recovery here and there later on, I promise.....it's just all too new and weird right now......feel free to vent here, it's safe.
Peace.
Any marriage has it's ebb and flow.......addiction and co-dependancy issues make it twice as hard to do the dance. From my experience with living with and being an addict, since 1989, we have had patterns that we're pretty comfy with, when I started to change my pattern it made my husband really uncomfortable, thus turning him into an a**. I did not like this version of my husband and there are days I'd like to trade him in for a newer model. It helps to have had a little marriage therapy, though, it got us back to a good foundation and it made me realize I'm a piece of work to live with. :-)
I truly understand where you're coming from and it sucks right now 90210 but you have been in a long term investment for awhile now, I recommend you give it a chance, try to ride the lousy waves and you will enjoy the benefits of recovery here and there later on, I promise.....it's just all too new and weird right now......feel free to vent here, it's safe.
Peace.
90210
this is a hard time for you both right now. dont make any hasty decisions right now. just give things a little time.
i have often wished that bubba j and i didnt both use this site. i think i would feel more free to vent when the things are not goin good if i felt i had some privacy. and not the fear of problems between us if i shared things that he might not like. so 90210 take ww advice and vent here where you can.
this is a hard time for you both right now. dont make any hasty decisions right now. just give things a little time.
i have often wished that bubba j and i didnt both use this site. i think i would feel more free to vent when the things are not goin good if i felt i had some privacy. and not the fear of problems between us if i shared things that he might not like. so 90210 take ww advice and vent here where you can.
CL- if you need anonymity, change your name and go to the family board, I'm sure Bubba will respect your privacy, you guys sound like a "play fair" couple, I'm sure he'll understand.
:-) Sometimes a girl just needs to blow off steam.
We spent 3 hours in a marriage counselling session today, my husband initiated the call to our old therapist......and I am feeling really good and really loved, as for my hubby, I can honestly say my man is starting to see the recovery light (and it ain't an oncoming train) :-)
Love and light to all in the ghost town this has become (wonderwoman rattles some chains) lol, whooooo~oooo~ooooo spooooooooky <smile>
D
:-) Sometimes a girl just needs to blow off steam.
We spent 3 hours in a marriage counselling session today, my husband initiated the call to our old therapist......and I am feeling really good and really loved, as for my hubby, I can honestly say my man is starting to see the recovery light (and it ain't an oncoming train) :-)
Love and light to all in the ghost town this has become (wonderwoman rattles some chains) lol, whooooo~oooo~ooooo spooooooooky <smile>
D
