I have never used heroin and I never will. I used to be addicted to pain pills and have been sober for over 17 months. I hope I don't offend anyone by asking this but what is it about heroin that sucks you in even if used once? Just trying to understand as its a drug that scares the S**T out of me. Just trying to learn about it since I also lost a college friend because of it. I never even knew this person was using...
Well, you've used pain pills... heroin is that high only tremendously better, and it's cheaper! So someone with an addictive personality will have that high one day, want to use the next and will, the cycle continues until the person finds that they can no longer function without it. Heroin addiction is about the high at first, but ater becomes about not being sick, having to use just to beable to phisically funtion, just to be able to pick up a phone. It's hell, but it becomes your hell and you can't leave it, you want to but you are so afraid of sobriety, using has consumed your life, you can't remember what it's like to be happy sober. Opiate addiction actually changes the chemical structure of your brain, affecting your nuerons and chemicals like dopamine, seratonin, and norepernepherine.
Gottahavefaith; It's everything Trooper said and more,much more,if you ever get a chance to get your hands on a poem called "Miss Heroin"(well at least that's what we call it here in Montreal,Quebec,Canada) well you'll know what it's about cause reading that poem gives you such a spooky hair raising feeling that you don't need to use to know you acually feel it by reading this amazing poem.I have been off heroin for over 11 years and let me tell you something I have tried in the past everything to give me that feeling without using heroin and I know I will never find it.I'll also tell you this that if I had the money I would get old doing heroin sitting in my rocking chair sh_ _ _ing it all the time and instead of knitting needles in a basket I would have a basket full of works(drug using instuments).It's sad to say,but I would,that's just me,but since I can't I take it each day slowly and I'v made it till here so far and I have three beautiful kids to show for it......... I'll be on more often if you need someone to talk to........Luv always Teena
gotta,i was always wondering the same question myself,i have never done herion either but i have done my fair share of oxy's and percs[oxycodone],now when i went to detox over a year ago there was a girl in there that was in there detoxing from herion,she was severly hooked,so bad indeed that she no longer had veins in her arm that would work so she shot it in her neck,anyways we started talkin and she asked what i was comin off of,so i told her oxy's,and her comment was that she would rather detox off of herion anyday than oxy's because the wd is more intense,like i said i don't know about the wd from herion but the oxy wd really does suck,i still think about that girl from time to time.......................vinny.
I've heard that about oxy's too, but I've detoxed off of oxy's and heroin is still way worse in my opinion
Read the basketball diaries by Jim Carroll --Reccomend his C.D as well.
Jeff
Jeff
..That first feeling of the warmth and gouching out is wot trapped me and kept me wanting to use heroin..(smoking)..everything thats on your mind is put to the back of it as you sit there and close the world out..heroin use is small at first but as the weeks go by you find yourself using more trying to chase that first high..then as you become addicted to it you use to feel normal..i think thats why addicts start using the needle.to get that feeling back.?..but for me..it was also the ritual of smoking..getting the foil out..rolling a tube..putting the powder on the foil..smoking a few lines..putting it away..doing things that need to be done..get the gear back out..smoke sum more.etc etc..even ringing my dealer and going to get the gear was a buzz in itself for me..so after a while..it was,nt the gear that kept me on it.(although i needed it to feel normal.)..but the ritual of using became my addiction..hope that makes sense to ya..Robbie..
Hello Robbie,(boy or girl?)
I know what you mean exactly,boy do I know I started smoking it and someone pretending to be a true friend told me to start shooting it,that it would cost me less money and the high would be better,well the dummie that I was or the slave to heroin that I was I did,well the rest was history from there on.I got addicted more on the getting and shooting it than the drug itself,like we all know after a while we only use to feel normal,just to get out of bed,etc...But me it was also the not knowing when I or the place was going to be surrounded by swat team and cops and the adrelaline rush from running around to get it and all that.I still can't belive that I'm off it and it's almost 11 yrs I haven't touched it.I started very young,9yrs old and stopped around 24,25yrs old and now I'm 36yrs old,dah,you could have done the math what a moron I am,loll,loll.Anyhow I'll be seeing you,nice talking to you....
Always a friend Teena
I know what you mean exactly,boy do I know I started smoking it and someone pretending to be a true friend told me to start shooting it,that it would cost me less money and the high would be better,well the dummie that I was or the slave to heroin that I was I did,well the rest was history from there on.I got addicted more on the getting and shooting it than the drug itself,like we all know after a while we only use to feel normal,just to get out of bed,etc...But me it was also the not knowing when I or the place was going to be surrounded by swat team and cops and the adrelaline rush from running around to get it and all that.I still can't belive that I'm off it and it's almost 11 yrs I haven't touched it.I started very young,9yrs old and stopped around 24,25yrs old and now I'm 36yrs old,dah,you could have done the math what a moron I am,loll,loll.Anyhow I'll be seeing you,nice talking to you....
Always a friend Teena
..Teena..
..11 yrs off heroin..i take my hat off to ya..but it must of been sum journey for you especially using it from the age of nine..if ya don,t mind me asking..how cums you started so young.?..i could,nt imagine wot it must be like for a 9 yr old to have a heroin addiction..its good to read you have been off it that long thou..and i hope it continues for you always..take care and nice talkin to you aswell..Robbie..a 39 yrs young man :- )
..11 yrs off heroin..i take my hat off to ya..but it must of been sum journey for you especially using it from the age of nine..if ya don,t mind me asking..how cums you started so young.?..i could,nt imagine wot it must be like for a 9 yr old to have a heroin addiction..its good to read you have been off it that long thou..and i hope it continues for you always..take care and nice talkin to you aswell..Robbie..a 39 yrs young man :- )
the way I look at it we as human beings are never meant to be truly content, if we were then we woul'nt strive for more/to better ourselves. herion makes you feel totally content and once you've felt that level of contentment then nothing else can ever come close. Your then chasing paradise but you have to stay in hell while you try to catch it.
what is it about heroin that sucks you in even if used once? I loved everyone elses answers. Personaly I don't think the saying if you ONLY used ONE time you will be sucked in "is true 4 everyone". I have heard the same said, for crack "one time you are hooked". I have smoked crack several times, months apart and never felt hooked into it, never pawed stuff 4 it 4 sure. I don't know where i'm going exactly with that. I would NEVER say oh, you can do heroin/or crack once and be okay it's not worth the risk. The problem starts when the once turns into 1,000 quickly. I started using heroin mainline never smoked it, only snorted it a few times when trying to get off injection. What keeps you doing it "like any addiction" is the HIGH. The only drug high I know of being close is oxycottin "mainlined". Then at some point it shuts down your reasoning and attachment and becomes what you need to have to feel alright. It's a very mental drug the withdraw depression is so HORRIBLE you would do ANYTHING to get over that feeling. I remeber dope sickness where I vomited water and would gag the whole way to get to my dealer sweating the whole time. Then in 3 seconds of getting it in feeling PERFECT!!!!!!!!. I will always wish I did not KNOW what it felt like. I still want that high just not the baggage that comes with it. I've done other drugs but, heroin was the only one that I lost all control OF MY life over. I do know a guy who tried it once and SAID it felt so good he was too scared to EVER try it again, this was 4 years ago to my knowledge he never did do it again.
ll of u r right.i stated off smoking on foil[started when 24] and like robbie said ,have a cple of lines go on a cleaning buzz or whatever&go back 4 more lines& a spliff if i could get it together.then after a cple of yrs.the needle got taken on ,woz ,nt gettin the same off the foil so started bangin up.christ wot a ruuuuussssh!!!,but then the downside bruises,collspsedviens,abcesss[had 2 always keep long top on at wrk].the amount of times ive gone into a goof at work is embaressing,also u get into the whole needle culture/the xchange...wot would sir like today 1mm or 2&even little cooking up spoons which at the time i thought brilliant/they came with a v.nice ready made filter all nicely packed.the ritual of having a turn on was also built into my head ,have all yer kit ready etc.i shared spikes or barrels&didnt give it a second thought,a quick clean theyll be fine,coz u really let your gaurd down when using,alls cool let me get this inside me &i will be better.after 13 on off yrs of all that s$%$t.am of 3 wks ,thanks all davey...ps i am also very lucky 2 have tested neg. on hiv&hep tests since i last turned on.
Yeah, I shared needles with like 4 - 5 differnt guys who also shared with each other. THANK GOD The worst to come from that was a staf infection in my arm and like 8-9 days in the hospital. I never thought twice about it when I was sharing "often right after someone else just used it and "ONLY washed it out with WATER!". Now, I think what the f**k were you THINKING!. bEEN CLEAN 13 months and tested - for hep c and HIV.
Gotta Have,
Just those two first words in your name made me think "GOTTA HAVE"!
Gotta have money, and works, and connections, and on, and on.
Just keep letting that drug scare the s*it out of you. It should, and like evryone described, and admitted you can see that.
I sincerely don't know why I kept using after the first time. Frankly I was not all that impressed. But for some reason I did it again. So ya know again, and again and so forth.
I wasn't bored because I spent entire days scamming, and stealing so I could get high or just well of sickness. I didn't have to deal with family problems even if i sat there listening, and trying to contribute. I just didn't care.
You're doing great off the pills, and I think it was Trooper mentioned the Oxy kick compred to the dope kick. I wasn't a big oxy user. Man, those things are expensive. For me too they are a different kind of high than heroin. I did see people kicking those Oxy's as I detoxed off of heroin, and I had the easy one.
Wicked them Oxy's.
Hope we all helped.
Oh, Jeff thank heavens you didn't say WATCH basketball diaries. What a jip. Leonardo did not play a good addict., and he should never have portrayed Jim Caroll. That film sucka doodled.
Just those two first words in your name made me think "GOTTA HAVE"!
Gotta have money, and works, and connections, and on, and on.
Just keep letting that drug scare the s*it out of you. It should, and like evryone described, and admitted you can see that.
I sincerely don't know why I kept using after the first time. Frankly I was not all that impressed. But for some reason I did it again. So ya know again, and again and so forth.
I wasn't bored because I spent entire days scamming, and stealing so I could get high or just well of sickness. I didn't have to deal with family problems even if i sat there listening, and trying to contribute. I just didn't care.
You're doing great off the pills, and I think it was Trooper mentioned the Oxy kick compred to the dope kick. I wasn't a big oxy user. Man, those things are expensive. For me too they are a different kind of high than heroin. I did see people kicking those Oxy's as I detoxed off of heroin, and I had the easy one.
Wicked them Oxy's.
Hope we all helped.
Oh, Jeff thank heavens you didn't say WATCH basketball diaries. What a jip. Leonardo did not play a good addict., and he should never have portrayed Jim Caroll. That film sucka doodled.
hello all,hav,nt seen basketball diaries il take your word for it,not to bother.have seen nil by mouth[english film] or requim for a dream[american]both deal really well with the highs&real horrors of addiction ...all the best...davey
A lot of people say people who get addicted to heroin have an addictive personality, but I don't think I do, before I started smoking brown, I could of took every drug in the book apart from crack and smack, and then maybe for a year nothing.
But when I met the gf, and she introduced me to brown, I throught no way that stuff smells and taste's awful, but now it is the oppisite.
For the first 4 years, I could not get of the gear because the fact the withdrawels were to scarey to think about it, but now I have both phycial and mental, and they are both as hard to content with as each other.
But when I met the gf, and she introduced me to brown, I throught no way that stuff smells and taste's awful, but now it is the oppisite.
For the first 4 years, I could not get of the gear because the fact the withdrawels were to scarey to think about it, but now I have both phycial and mental, and they are both as hard to content with as each other.
Dear Gottahavefaith, I give you a poem that I wrote, saying goodbye to my heroin habit. It's the best way I have of describing it. I did post it here once before, but I have revised it slightly, and re-named it. it used to be called You, but now it's called Dear H, as in Dear John.
Dear H
When I first met you,
I was untouched.
I was the virgin,
You were the dust.
We came together
In a chemical collide,
I fell in love
When you touched me inside.
I was scattered in pieces
But with you, I was whole.
You comforted every part of my soul.
You took me to places
I'd never been.
We wandered, in dreamlight,
Calm and serene.
As I grew to love you,
You fused with my mind.
To live without you?
I'd rather go blind!
But when you were gone,
I became sick.
You knew how to keep me.
A real dirty trick!
So wherever you were,
I would follow.
You are a poison.
I should spit, not swallow!
And I found you in places
Most fear to tread,
Where people are shadows
And the living are dead.
Like that dump, with no windows,
On the Frontline in Bristol,
Or the cellar, in Swansea
Where I held my first pistol.
And whenever I found you,
It was always the same,
You'd stack the deck,
And I'd deal again.
I tried to leave you,
But gave in to the pain,
So I'd take my place beside you,
And we'd carry on the game.
I've done things for you,
That I'd never thought possible
I even came back,
When you put me in hospital.
I've mortgaged my dreams,
And pawned out my soul
But this time, lover,
This time I fold.
So I'm telling you Sweetheart,
Kiss me goodbye,
I won't see you in the next world,
'Cause you'll never die.
Diff xxx
Dear H
When I first met you,
I was untouched.
I was the virgin,
You were the dust.
We came together
In a chemical collide,
I fell in love
When you touched me inside.
I was scattered in pieces
But with you, I was whole.
You comforted every part of my soul.
You took me to places
I'd never been.
We wandered, in dreamlight,
Calm and serene.
As I grew to love you,
You fused with my mind.
To live without you?
I'd rather go blind!
But when you were gone,
I became sick.
You knew how to keep me.
A real dirty trick!
So wherever you were,
I would follow.
You are a poison.
I should spit, not swallow!
And I found you in places
Most fear to tread,
Where people are shadows
And the living are dead.
Like that dump, with no windows,
On the Frontline in Bristol,
Or the cellar, in Swansea
Where I held my first pistol.
And whenever I found you,
It was always the same,
You'd stack the deck,
And I'd deal again.
I tried to leave you,
But gave in to the pain,
So I'd take my place beside you,
And we'd carry on the game.
I've done things for you,
That I'd never thought possible
I even came back,
When you put me in hospital.
I've mortgaged my dreams,
And pawned out my soul
But this time, lover,
This time I fold.
So I'm telling you Sweetheart,
Kiss me goodbye,
I won't see you in the next world,
'Cause you'll never die.
Diff xxx
Just in case you're wondering, I've been clean from smack for about a year now, and clean from subutex for about 4 months. I don't regret my addiction, coz heroin taught me exactly who I was. It made me find my boundaries. It took away all my illusions, made me humble. I don't regret my love affair with smack, coz it's like the elixir of life - a formula for instant joy - and to overcome it means I've found something really worth having, if I prefer my life now, without heroin, compared to how that damned drug made me feel. It really taught me what was important, but I only really learned that after getting clean. I prefered heroin to everything else life had to offer me, so therefore gave up every chance life gave me, in order to have that drug. It completely dismantled my entire life, everything I was, everything I dreamed I might be. I've now reclaimed my life, and I am no longer heroins' slave, and I can look in the mirror without wincing now. I did some really terrible things in order to have heroin, and it's really hard to like yourself when you're on smack. But since smack takes all those feelings away, it is the problem and the solution all in one. But after a few years, it becomes harder and harder to live with yourself. Getting clean was the hardest thing I ever did, and for a long time, I grieved for it, I felt bereaved, I felt like I had given up the only thing that made my life worth living. But slowly, good things started to happen to me, and now I have a happiness that doesn't require me to degrade myself in order to feel it, and I defo prefer this, to relying on chemicals to stop me from confronting everything I was running from.
love
Diff xxx
love
Diff xxx
Very good diff, and the words where so true, hope that someday I can say: Goodbye H
i'm 14, and unfortunaly, herion was my first drug of choice. But wat hooked me on herion was... 1. the cost is very low. and 2. the needle. it's a feeling like no other when it goes in to your body. but other wise, everything everyone else said is very true
