My BIL (brother in law) has been using for 20+ years. He has been in and out of Detox. I followed up after his last 3day detox and asked him if he wanted to go to a meeting. He obliged, however the meeting that I was going to was an Al Anon meeting, so he called back and said that he called a "friend" who was real familiar w/the meetings and suggested that he meet up w/her at an AA meeting. I said ok. My mother in law and I decided that it would be a beginning if we went along w/him to at least start somewhere...so all 3 of us attended the meeting.
Well, what a surprise when we arrived, my BIL's "friend" was a girl that he hangs w/to use. He has since invited her over to my in laws house (although his probation officer advised him that NO ONE is to stay w/him while my in laws are not around). My in laws were upset that he...yes..once again disregarded rules mandated by the law. They believe that meetings could help him hook up w/some of his old "friends" w/drug habits. It seems as if every time he hooks up w/the old "friends" he gets right back into using.
Any suggestions on this subject. He is currently in a 65 day rehab per his probation officer. When he gets out, we know that meetings are part of the rehab. Or can it be detrimental?
Is his friend still using or is she in recovery?
He doesn't have to go to meetings with her. Can he not go to meetings on his own? Or find a meeting that doesn't have old friends in attendance? But if they are in attendance, are they in recovery?
He doesn't have to go to meetings with her. Can he not go to meetings on his own? Or find a meeting that doesn't have old friends in attendance? But if they are in attendance, are they in recovery?
I'm not sure if she is still using. I know her from a long time ago...she used to live on the same street as my in-laws. When I was at the meeting she acted as if my mother in law and I didn't exist. That struck me as odd.
Yes, he can go to meetings on his own, however he has no means of transportation, so my mother in law takes him everywhere.
My BIL is a charmer...and he bragged about having sex w/her...which I found peculiar. I'm not sure if it's because he feels inadequate or what....I could care less to hear about his sex life.
She has a coke addiction and has been in and out of recovery, so I'm not sure whether she is using or not. I overheard their conversation about her use and he told her that his was heroin. She said that she couldn't afford using heroin, so I don't know what's going on...I'm just not sure if it can be a positive when their relationship previously consisted of them hooking up over drugs.
Yes, he can go to meetings on his own, however he has no means of transportation, so my mother in law takes him everywhere.
My BIL is a charmer...and he bragged about having sex w/her...which I found peculiar. I'm not sure if it's because he feels inadequate or what....I could care less to hear about his sex life.
She has a coke addiction and has been in and out of recovery, so I'm not sure whether she is using or not. I overheard their conversation about her use and he told her that his was heroin. She said that she couldn't afford using heroin, so I don't know what's going on...I'm just not sure if it can be a positive when their relationship previously consisted of them hooking up over drugs.
When I said go alone, I meant without this "friend". Is she the only one you are concerned about? As long as he keeps going to his meetings, I would think it OK. If she is not in recovery and not serious about it, she won't be going to every meeting anyway. If she is going to every meeting, then maybe she is serious about recovery.
Maybe your mother-in-law can take him to ones that she doesn't go to.
Has anyone tried talking to your BIL about this and your concerns? You don't have to treat him with kid gloves because he's in recovery.
Maybe your mother-in-law can take him to ones that she doesn't go to.
Has anyone tried talking to your BIL about this and your concerns? You don't have to treat him with kid gloves because he's in recovery.