Merry Christmas

Pain Pills
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Hi guys I wanted to say merry Christmas and I hope you guys are having a better one than me......mj....ps you guys are about the only family I have
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Dear MJ,
Hi, I think this is the first time I have posted to you, so 'hi'.
I always enjoy what you write to the other posters on here, so I feel that I already know you.
Its nice to have a great on-line family, I know how important it is to me, and the bigger, the better!
I am so glad that we all found this web site, it was meant to be that we all meet one another here.

MJ, I hope you have a wonderful day, inspite of all that is wrong with the world in which we live.
I will be thinking about you today,
and hoping that you know you are someone special.

Warmest regards,
your e-sister, Nancy




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Ok I'm writing this with the hope that none of you actually read it.I have all these feeling that I just can't handle today.I can't understand the way my so called family is(not my daughters or my boyfriend)But the woman that gave me life and the rest of them.I understand me being an addict must shame my mom and my sister but these so called family members just keep on hurting me and Idon't understand why.Ya know after 37 years I'm pretty much use to it but sometimes it creeps up on me and hurts.I went to my grandmothers house last night.I haven't gone there in 3 years for reasons I just can't get into.I had the worst time of my life.I hid downstairs with my daughters shooting pool.It just wasn't Christmas eve.My sisters 7 yr old is allowed to say F--k and anything else he has hit my 12yr old and calls her retarded all infront of his mother(my B--ch sister)Yeah major issues there.God I can't belive I'm even doing this.I come here because you guys feel like my familt should.I mean being an addict doesn't make me a bad person yet they ALWAYS make me feel like an outsider I don't fit in most of the time I don't want to even let people know I'm related to my sister.I rent the upstairs apartment in a home that my sister bought for $1.00 from my grandfather(dads side)This bi--h always always does or says something to ruin any good moments i have.its like if she sees me happy she just has to ruin it.Ya know I gotta stop Im sorry
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Guys Im so sorry for that pity trip I hurt so bad right now.I am the one on here that tries so hard to keep everyone up.I love being able to say or do something that helps anyone on here.Now I'm ashamed I actually caved and posted how sad I am.I feel a major binge comming on and I don't want to OD on freaking Christmas.But the have hurt me so bad for so long today I just want them to go away.What is so wrong with me that they can't even be polite nice to me.DAMN IT I AM A PERSON WITH FEELINGS HOW DARE THEM TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISREPEST!!!!!!ANIMALS.As I said I'm sorry for venting when I come here I feel so accepted and cared for you guys treat me so well why can't my own mother?Please don't say I need to talk it out everytime I have tried they made it seem like I was trying to hurt them.I've tried talking and crying to my mom to no avail.My sister is such a horriable person yet everyone in our family thinks ooooooh shes the good one.If my mom didn't want me as she has said to me why didn't the bit-- just get rid of me.Really I have the greatest boyfriend and my daughters are so much better than that little bas--rd I don't get it.s*** I gotta go get a grip my daughter will be awake soon and I don't want to ruin her Christmas even though both my daughters seen how I was treated last night.BAHHHHH HUMBUG FOR SURE!!!!!
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Molly Jean........I am so sorry you are having to deal with horrible family. Let me just say this......
On this board we do not know you as how you look, dress, etc. We only know what comes from your heart.....and it is beautiful. We see only the purest of what you are, and that is a kind, loving, giving woman who loves her children. If your family judges you on anything else, they are poison, and you have to get poison out of your life. It will kill your spirit.

I am going through much the same thing this Christmas. I have none of my brothers around me or my mother this year for first time, because I simply had to remove myself from people who are evil and have no love. It is pretty hard, I miss them. But I knew, finally, after years of counseling, that they were only beating me up more each time we met, and the only one suffering was me. So, they are history. And it is hard to write off family. My husband and daughter support me fully in this and, thank God, I will always have them, plus various nieces, nephew, etc., who will be with us today.

So, know that you are not the only one dealing with dysfunctional family and know that you are greatly lovable and loved. Those who choose to mistreat you are probably jealous of you or have other agendas. Please try to have a beautiful day with your girls and b/f. We love you and want you to be happy!

Merry Christmas!
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Dear Tmom Thank you so much I feel ashamed for actually writing how sad I feel Thats why I feel like I'm home when I come here.You all are better to me than my own.It feels really good to have that love sent to me.I am very sorry for that pity party thing.I guess your right about getting rid of the poison.I have 2 beautiful strong soon to be women for my daughters and the best man I have ever been with.I feel really bad for being BlaHHHHH I really am.I am always here for who ever needs me and you guys are the same.Scre-- those people it is their loss because I know I am a giving person and I don't go out of my way to hurt ANYONE so in the end I guess that makes me alot better than them.Once again I am sorry for my little hissy and I thank you from the bottom of my shattered heart.I hope you have a GREAT Christmas...thanks for being a friend....mj
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That's right! From what we have seen of you here, your family will be the ones who lose if they do not have your loving self in their lives. It is so hard.....I know...it's difficult when it comes to family. But, bottom line, you have to take of and protect yourself. Do what is best for you and your girls.

Please try not to be bothered by them today, anyway, at least. It is a very special day, and we both have to be strong and not let the "others" ruin it for us and our kids. Hang in there, sweetie! We'll talk later. I have to go and start getting ready for company.......the good ones in my family are coming and the rest I haven't spoken to since Oct. LOL!

Sending love and hugs your way ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))!!!! Carol
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Dear Carol I just wanted to let you know that between your kind words and belive it or not my 12yr old I feel stronger again.The hell with poppin those pills to get over being hurt.Thats just a cop out anyways.You were right and now I just feel like a fool for venting.I need to relate a story about last night at my grandmothers.While all these people were opening presents in the living room,I sat on the floor in between my 12yr olds legs.GOD BLESS MY BABY,she always has a way of knowing when I'm upset,well this beautiful young lady who I brought into this world began to very very softly started to sing Winter Wounderland where only I could hear her.She somehow knew what her mom needed and boy she delivered!!!!So anytime today if I start thinking and feeling as I did earlier all I have to do is think about that last night.She gave me the most heartfelt gift I have ever got I know you said no thanks was needed,but you gave me the words to help pull it together and I thank you so much.How is it a stranger can touch my heart in so many ways.Enjoy your company enjoy your Christmas.You Carol are a very very sweet lady.Merry Christmas......mj
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MJ.........I hope you are truly feeling better. I know you have been busy and excited about this day, guess we all have. I would hate to see it ruined. I'm having a hard time keeping it together myself, but know that I have to for the kids.
I have always been a huge fan of Christmas. But this year, I wish we could have just skipped it. That's not possible, so let's make the best of it and be sure those around us aren't brought down with us, huh? Keep your chin up, girlfriend! Everytime today when I feel "those feelings" coming, I'm gonna think about you and perk up! OK? You do the same and we'll get through it together.

With much love, Carol
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MJ- I'll be here all day if you want to talk
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MJ...just re-read your post and wanted to say you must have remarkable, sensitive daughter. And guess where she gets it! That was very sweet of her.

If we could all just live in the day, forget the past, and have hope for the future........
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Dear All I am doing alot better without over doing any pills.I put "Gone With The Wind"Which is my favorite all time movie with "Guess Whos Comming to Dinner running a close second
Danny thank you very much I'm sure you got a joke or something silly to say?Are you having a nice Christmas?I hope you don't have to go through any bull today.
Yes my 12yr old and my boyfriend are awesome.They are everything to me.So my daughter is doing things in her room my boyfriend is playing his vidio games and I'm gonna watch my movie and play!!!!Play meaning cleaning up stuff and orgainizing some Christmas decorations I got as gifts.I will do just what Carol said if I start getting BLAHHHHHH again I'm gonna pop in here to check on my other family.Danny do you think you could send one of those cute pictures you always seem to have????mj
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Hi Mj.......I stumbled on this post yesturday and have enjoyed what I have been reading. I was told once that one of the reasons that drove us to take drugs is because we are more sensitive than the average person. Because of that, our feelings are hurt more easily. When your "normal person" sees someone stub their toe, they laugh, while people like us will feel the pain and cry with them. Never be ashammed for being sensitive. I believe we are closer to God and that's what this day is all about. God bless you! If everyone were like you it would be a much better world!...... Merry Christmas!
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Hey Molly, I know how you feel if it helps any. Thanksgiving spiraled me into a craving/obsession phase that lasted for a week. Christmas (eve, for us), was a whole lot better. I stayed in MY house with MY kids. I didn't have to feel the way they make me feel. I got to do things like watch my oldest son put together my youngest son's race car track. (omg, you ever try to do that?!) We all had the best time, pigged out, laughed about christmas's past, just hung out as a family. I had to learn that I am my mother's child, but I have a family of my own. And in my family, we don't hurt each other. We don't pick out one person to be the nobody. ALL my kids matter. I'm sorry for how you had to feel, I know it well, trust me. Maybe you could do what I did, focus on you and yours, let the rest be dysfunctional by themselves. Much love, Kat
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Kat, I did that race car track thing....LMAO...never again...lol...
Molly, I agree with Mom...we only see your heart here, and you are one of the most beautiful people that I have met..
I know what you mean about family hurts...there is a reason I am 2500 miles away from mine...they are selfish selfish people...
Mom is right..family can be very toxic.....I just call mine and tell them I love them..and then hang up..lol.....My family makes me crazy.
I hope you have a merry xmas..and that is so touching with your daughter...it made me smile. It quite all right to vent...it is much healthier than keeping it in. YOU CAN EVEN SHOUT...lol.....we are here to listen. Unfortunately, the pills only mask the hurt...they don't really take it away.
We love ya, Molly....
Keep your chin up, and hugs to you...
Kerryuser posted image