Another Christmas- - another Christmas eve with the 9000 kids of my brothers and sister.
I liked it soo much better when my mothers parents were alive - and my dad, and my dads mom> etc.. etc..
Life goes on- - the kids get older- - the family of Christmas,s past that are no longer here >get a somber ,heartfelt mention and prayer.
The kids try to remember thru old photo,s taken years ago- - Us older folks speak of memories that seem like a different lifetime ago- - but yet, at times -can seem like yesterday
The holidays play tricks on your mind-- at least my mind* *
Sometimes (like now ) I curse the night - Im gettin so sick of these things- Arent these kids gettin to old for ripping up boxes, and throwing wrapping paper everywhere? Arent they to old for singing Christmas songs -all the cousins gathered together, laughing and joking > some teenagers by now-some still in grammar school- -and 2 in college**
Am I just turning into a bitter old guy, who see,s what real families are?? Am I just an ex-heroin addict , who shows up for the food, with a pot smokin 24 yr old kid (older kid then the rest)- - Sometimes I think > what do they think of me- - my own brothers ans sister?, what do they tell there kids of thier Uncle Jack??- - Do they think I just took a different journey thru life?? Do they wonder what happened their Uncle Jack to make him so different from their Dads??- - Do they even care? Do I ??
I look foward to these affairs - and then get disappointed when they arent like the days of old.
But- - If I think long enough- -a lot of those days of old, were about making sure I got good and high before the parties started- That I made it back from the City without incident and strolled in with an armful of "off the back of the truck" presents for all- -
The mind sometimes goes all the way back > to when I was part of the kids in the Christmas play- I was the happy kid, rippin boxes open with out a care in the world except what was in that package for me- The thoughts of "I cant wait to get home and wake up Christmas morning"- - "when are these old folks gonna finish their zambuca and coffee , and their nuts and fruit??"- -
Now- no more fruit and nuts- no more zambuca- less and less people who were there for the start of it all- the beginning of these family traditions.- -
Im know some day , they will all end for sure.> Im witnessing the end of a long era.> a tradition that was started by my immigrant grandparents and because of them> continues today 45 yrs later.
Well that my speech for this gig tonight- as melon collie as it is- I really am glad it still goes on- - if not for me- for the others - the others that are here, and for the others that are here no longer.
Merry Merry-
Jack
Jack, you know, the "good old days" were not always good for everyone. And different days were good for some, and sometimes, the "good old days" were realy rotten for a lot of people.
Everyone's good is different.
What do your brothers and sisters think of you? I'm sure they love you, and rejoice that you are with them. You know, the journey is usually the same for everyone, we just stop at different cities along the way, and sometimes take longer to reach the final point.
this is the season to be melancholy, and to view our faults in a bright light of regret. but remember all the good things you have done so far, including being here with us , giving us hope and your encouragement, while we are visiting the cities of our journey, either as an addict, or one who loves an addict.
Be kind to yourself, Jack. You deserve it.
rita
Everyone's good is different.
What do your brothers and sisters think of you? I'm sure they love you, and rejoice that you are with them. You know, the journey is usually the same for everyone, we just stop at different cities along the way, and sometimes take longer to reach the final point.
this is the season to be melancholy, and to view our faults in a bright light of regret. but remember all the good things you have done so far, including being here with us , giving us hope and your encouragement, while we are visiting the cities of our journey, either as an addict, or one who loves an addict.
Be kind to yourself, Jack. You deserve it.
rita
thanks i needed that rita
lasttoknow, what is the final point?
heyoh jackofhartzz...i so enjoyed reading that and i also know of those days and looking back is sad and peache at the sametime....just wanted you to know i got something rather big from that thanks ....
peache-
glad you can relate, Now I feel like Im not alone in my down mood- -
We had like 2 ft of friggin snow here in NY/NJ - -if your into that sort of thing , its a winter wonderland- - - Governor just called a state of emergency- - If your not- - your cursing the morning already!!!- - Got leftover christmas cookies, a jug of milk and a pack of cigts- - I aint goin anywhere- ->on top of all this snow, its about 10 degrees and the wind is moving about 25 MPH- - Oh yeah, just my kind of weather** I gotta get out of the Northeast - too old for this nonsense-
Im trapped Thank the gods. I dont have an active dope habit- - boy it would be a horrible day- - I dont even remember what I did on days like this-?- - There couldnt have been too many, I think I would have remembered**
peace
jack
glad you can relate, Now I feel like Im not alone in my down mood- -
We had like 2 ft of friggin snow here in NY/NJ - -if your into that sort of thing , its a winter wonderland- - - Governor just called a state of emergency- - If your not- - your cursing the morning already!!!- - Got leftover christmas cookies, a jug of milk and a pack of cigts- - I aint goin anywhere- ->on top of all this snow, its about 10 degrees and the wind is moving about 25 MPH- - Oh yeah, just my kind of weather** I gotta get out of the Northeast - too old for this nonsense-
Im trapped Thank the gods. I dont have an active dope habit- - boy it would be a horrible day- - I dont even remember what I did on days like this-?- - There couldnt have been too many, I think I would have remembered**
peace
jack
Mike FV, to me, the final point is the reason for the journey , reaching peace with God.
I'm sure the final point is different for others.
rita
I'm sure the final point is different for others.
rita
Hi Jack, I am Ellie. You helped me so much 19 months ago. Do you remember?
You are helping so many people more than you realize.You are a wise man and I am sure your family knows that. Just took a wrong bend in the road for a while but that made you what you are today and that is why you can relate and help so many.
Even though we have never met and I am old enough to be your mother I have a fondness for you. I feel you are an old soul full of wisdom.
You are helping so many people more than you realize.You are a wise man and I am sure your family knows that. Just took a wrong bend in the road for a while but that made you what you are today and that is why you can relate and help so many.
Even though we have never met and I am old enough to be your mother I have a fondness for you. I feel you are an old soul full of wisdom.
ELLIE
Wow, those are such nice things to say- -I apologize, I really dont remember> but if in any way I helped you make it through just 1 day- - easier than usual, that really makes me feel good
Now - you made my day* * Today you helped me - - Its 5am ,but to read your post has made my day already. Sometimes we dont know the people we touch from day to day> at work, or on the computer- To think that some one has remembered something I said and feels it helped them thru a tough time or understand something that was baffleing them is an amazing ego lift* *
much blessings thru the holidays and beyond
jack
Wow, those are such nice things to say- -I apologize, I really dont remember> but if in any way I helped you make it through just 1 day- - easier than usual, that really makes me feel good
Now - you made my day* * Today you helped me - - Its 5am ,but to read your post has made my day already. Sometimes we dont know the people we touch from day to day> at work, or on the computer- To think that some one has remembered something I said and feels it helped them thru a tough time or understand something that was baffleing them is an amazing ego lift* *
much blessings thru the holidays and beyond
jack
Hey there Jackybaby how'r ye diddlin honey pie? just thought i'd drop a wee rock on your dish and remind you that, about a year ago give or take a few weeks, you pulled my scribbled desperate wee note out of obscurity i thank god every day that you did kitty x
Ellie is right, Jack.
Thank you from me as well.
Thank you from me as well.
I haven't really got any time so i#'ll keep it short..
I remember u from a coupla years ago.. Herman the german i think was my (name)
I hope all is goin well. I'll post what's goin on with myself as soon as i can.. All the best..
I remember u from a coupla years ago.. Herman the german i think was my (name)
I hope all is goin well. I'll post what's goin on with myself as soon as i can.. All the best..
