Hi Everyone,
I am writing to find out more on how to support/give space to a recovering methdone addict.
When I first met this person he was on methadone for 2 years at a dose of about 45mg. Things happened so fast between us and we started dating and living together within the first 6 months. he was very open about his recovery and the methadone maintence he was on, but did tell me he was going to get off of it soon. So as things progressed we set a date (febuary) to completly be off of it. This took about months of tapering down around 2 mgs a week. Febuary came and he DID IT!!! The first 4 days were hell, complete withdrawl phase, no sleep wrestless legs and diareah. But by the time the 5-6 day was there he felt much better. We went on a trip to Colorado and had the best time. When we got home is when everything really started to hit him. By around the 3 week clean he wasnt wanting to get up for work or school, had no energy and was very depressed. I moved out to give him some space and he asked me to wait for him and give him time to get over this process. We didnt talk for a week and everthing seemed to be worse when I did call him a few days ago. He told me he is very empty and depressed and has nothing to give right now. We decided to breakup. I am so hurt right now because I love him and dont wanna give up. I thought by the time the physical part was over hed be all better but really it had just began. I dont know what to do and how to handle this terrible situation. If anyone has gone through a similar situation please respond and let me know of some good coping skills or advise for getting through this time and loving an addict.
GOD BLESS
"he DID IT!!! "
It doesn't sound like he did it to me .....
Getting clean/sober is nothing. I did it numerous times when I was using.
Staying clean/sober is the trick .. the real recovery ... and it is never "done".
Both of you are so blind, have so much to learn.
AA/NA will help him if he commits to it.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon will help you if you attend their meetings.
I wish you the best.
Bob
It doesn't sound like he did it to me .....
Getting clean/sober is nothing. I did it numerous times when I was using.
Staying clean/sober is the trick .. the real recovery ... and it is never "done".
Both of you are so blind, have so much to learn.
AA/NA will help him if he commits to it.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon will help you if you attend their meetings.
I wish you the best.
Bob
Thank you for your response
I have been reading these forums and researching addiction and recovery. I am taking your advise and the advise of many others to attend a meeting (which I will be going to tonight) I have tried to tell him about going to meetings and he said they are not for him and he does not like them, but has been talking to a close family member who is in recovery and has been for 20 years. I am leaving the ball in his court to get help and I am seeking my own.
I just feel so hurt and bad for him in his time of recovery. We have been together for 2 years and it all ended a few days ago so he could work on his recovery. He told me he was so empty and had nothing to give and the recovery is so consuming.
I have been reading these forums and researching addiction and recovery. I am taking your advise and the advise of many others to attend a meeting (which I will be going to tonight) I have tried to tell him about going to meetings and he said they are not for him and he does not like them, but has been talking to a close family member who is in recovery and has been for 20 years. I am leaving the ball in his court to get help and I am seeking my own.
I just feel so hurt and bad for him in his time of recovery. We have been together for 2 years and it all ended a few days ago so he could work on his recovery. He told me he was so empty and had nothing to give and the recovery is so consuming.
hello, i myself am detoxing off , im down to 10mgs, in a few days ill be at 7.5, i was just curious, if he explained , how hard it was when reaching zero, i know myself i would want someone around me to help with it all. Do you think he might relapse?
When he got down to the 10s it was hard (not to scare you) his goal was to get down to 1mg (over a 10 week span) but when he got to 5 he was already withdrawing everyday and he said it was not worth it to keep going there for only a half day of relief. When he reached 5mg (it was a Friday) he didnt go back and detoxed from there. It was a hard 5 days (from what I could see, i can only imagine how he felt inside) My only suggestion would be to start AA NOW that you are on a low dose. I went to an Alanon meeting last night and it helped me so much. I wish I would have gone sooner. He was telling me after the sickness was over it would get better everyday, but it has gotten worse everyday because he has been on it for 4 years and a 5 year painpills/herion addict before that so now all the emotions he has not felt in 9 years are coming back and its very difficult. AGAIN i would suggest AA right now and wish you the best with your recovery.
I do have a question for you though, do you feel empty and emotionless now that you are low on the dosage. I fight with myself everyday trying to figure out if I should move on and lose hope in our relationship because he just doesn't love me anymore or ifs a chemical imbalance and he has no feelings at all. Any thing about how your emotions are would help me so much.
ALSO he maintained work and school through out this 2 month journey with only a few missed days in between so i have hope you can make it off successfully too!!!
GOD BLESS YOU
I do have a question for you though, do you feel empty and emotionless now that you are low on the dosage. I fight with myself everyday trying to figure out if I should move on and lose hope in our relationship because he just doesn't love me anymore or ifs a chemical imbalance and he has no feelings at all. Any thing about how your emotions are would help me so much.
ALSO he maintained work and school through out this 2 month journey with only a few missed days in between so i have hope you can make it off successfully too!!!
GOD BLESS YOU
To be honest with you , i havent felt any of my decreases , no wds yet, tomorrow i go to 7.5. Emotions are the same for me , i dont feel empty , ive been on it along time 8 years, i was told when your off , all those emotions run back at you. the only thing that stands out to me is being scared, worried . No way shape or form do i feel empty , if anything i want to have ppl around me to share what im goin thru. aka. support.
God Speed and TY.
God Speed and TY.
Hi, I've been on his side..and yes decreasing made me feel alone/empty. I remember telling a friend I felt Like everyone was abandoning me. He said nobody is abandoning you, the drug is. That's the absolute truth. I DEFINITELY needed space from the guy I was with at time and he couldn't give it to me. I did want to be around other people, just not HIM. looking back I think my brain was spinning so out of control that the pressure of a relationship at that time was IMPOSSIBLE. I needed to be somewhat selfish to get through. I do remember the one time things felt ok with him was keeping things 'light' and no heavy conversations initially. The mental aspect is so overwhelming.. I guess what i would have wanted then was 1. To be told I was loved 2. Space/not to be smothered. If you want it to work, as he probably does to, it's alot of time and work..I feel for you and know the pain I caused others with my head trip.
Thank you for responding and explaining how you were feeling at the time when you were in the same position. I have been attending AlAnon regularly which really helps me. I know everything is in Gods timing and Im glad I am getting the help that I need. How long did it take you to start to feel yourself again, not putting a time limit on his recovery or accepting things to be right by a certain time Im just curious about the time frame. Alot of people told me it takes at least 90 days for the brain to start functioning and healing correctly. I know I can not rush things or pressure him by reaching out so I am going to work on my life and get my emotions back in order.
Are you still in recovery and if you are what has helped you the most on your journey?
GOD BLESS
Are you still in recovery and if you are what has helped you the most on your journey?
GOD BLESS
