I hope everyone had a nice weekend. I had a terrible Sunday. My b/f called me on Saturday he said he wanted to see me, I told him I had a wedding to go to, he wanted to go with me and I said no. He called me yesterday and he sounded like the person he once was. so I told him I would meet him somewhere, as soon as he saw me he kissed me and told me how much he missed me. We went in my car to Flanigans to eat. he admited to me that he smokes pot everyday when he can't get anything stronger. I tried to talk to him to ask him to please go back to his mom's house and get help, he said no and that he knew he would end up back in prison or dead. He started crying and I was still trying to be strong telling him that he had to want to get help that there' was nothing I could do for him, then he started calling his low life cousin in front of me I got upset and we left and in the car while we were talking I just felt as though I was talking to the wall I hit him and told him he could walk to his car..
I felt terrible for raising my hand to him but I lost it. I went to his mom's house and she said he hardly comes or calls home not to feel bad that I hit him cause he is destroying all of us and that I just snapped. SHe said that a few weeks ago she saw him with this guy who seemed "high' putting all their clothes in her car, she went and got the car back and threw all the clothes away.
I called him when I got home and I told him that I was sorry I hit him I have never done anything like this before, Iit's just that he has been putting me through hell for 3 yrs and then since he got out of prison he has gotten high and I just went on and on. He left me 3 msg to call him I didn't pick up the phone the last msg said that he didn't have anyone else bu that he didnt want me either cause I was crazy.
I know I lost it but I can't take it anymore. He looks spaced out and it's as though he has no expression on his face.
I think he is worst now then before he went to prison, could it be the drugs and also his bipolar/depression that it's increasing and makiing him this way?
I told his mom he was going to end up dead or in prison. He totally drained me and I realize there is nothing I can do for him.
It's hell watching someone you love destroy himself.
He is happy with his drug addict friends, his parents and I are no longer important to him. This is not the person I fell in love with.
Thanks
Marie I'm sorry your weekend was horrible. It is the drugs that makes him act like this. My bf was horrible to me all weekend, he kept coming up with excuses not to see me, later he admitted he was using all weekend, he lied about getting a cheque, and he blamed everything on me, he called me the most horrible names imaginable while I cried and he didn't even feel bad, well why should he? I swear he has no feelings. The whole story is in my post "appalled, did I do the wrong thing?" but I couldn't sleep all night, I cried a lot and I had to call in sick this morning..haven't heard back from him he tried to call last night but I blocked his number he called my cell phone and left messages that he's worried about me..after calling me horrible names that I'd never even call my worst enemy, he was worried about me?
I know you feel bad about hitting him, but I've done the same thing and I'm not that kind of person!! I have 2 hours of sleep and I can't even go back to sleep I feel like a mess..
Anyways Marie, I think the best thing is for us to move on..I know how hard that is but I can't do this anymore..can you?
I know you feel bad about hitting him, but I've done the same thing and I'm not that kind of person!! I have 2 hours of sleep and I can't even go back to sleep I feel like a mess..
Anyways Marie, I think the best thing is for us to move on..I know how hard that is but I can't do this anymore..can you?
Kitty: You are right I don't know how much longer I can do this, I know something bad is going to happen with my b/f. His eyes are cold and even the way he talks is different.
I am glad I went to his mom, she has given up, he doesn't even care he is hurting his parents. You can tell he just wants to be with his junkie friends...
Like you I was there for him and it seems he has forgotten everything we have gone through together. I have become last on his list.
Your case and mine are so similar we need to take it one day at a time that's all we can do.
I am glad I went to his mom, she has given up, he doesn't even care he is hurting his parents. You can tell he just wants to be with his junkie friends...
Like you I was there for him and it seems he has forgotten everything we have gone through together. I have become last on his list.
Your case and mine are so similar we need to take it one day at a time that's all we can do.
You are right we need to take it one day at a time. Yesterday he was crying and threatening to commit suicide but I refuse to take responsibility for that..he's already committing suicide everytime he smokes crack. I almost did call him back but stopped myself. Why give him the satisfaction? Its going to take a long time to get over this..if I ever do.
Kitty: My b/f also threatens to commit suicide I think they are too much of cowards to do it they are just playing with our feelings.
I feel as though all the air has been taken from me I am physically sick I have never hit anyone and he is making me into someone I am not.
They don't feel anything Kitty their only concern is to get high.....
I don't think I will e hearing from him for a while I don't care anymore.
I feel as though all the air has been taken from me I am physically sick I have never hit anyone and he is making me into someone I am not.
They don't feel anything Kitty their only concern is to get high.....
I don't think I will e hearing from him for a while I don't care anymore.
Marie, you described it perfectly, I too feel like the air has been taken out of me and I am physically sick. I wanted to call back but I won't give him the satisfaction. I doubt he really cares I'm sure he just rolled over and went right back to sleep peacefully with not a care. The only consolation is this: because we are caring, good people, we WILL find happiness and have a good life. They on the other hand will end up homeless, in prison or dead. Their lives will not change, addiction is something that is hard to kick and their future is bleak. Neither one seems to want to get help. No woman is ever going to stay with them long enough. They are destined for a life of misery and look at how they have brought us down with them! Time and time again I was warned this would happen. I thought my situation would be different. It is not, it has gotten so much more worse. And it will continue to get worse. I hope mine doesn't call back either.
Kitty:
You are right no woman would put up with what we have and one day they will realize what they have lost in us. The drugs is their love it's their life...
My b/f was the sweetest guy, now he is cold and has no expression on his voice or face.
Do you think that in time their personality gets worse, he is smoking pot every day and using something stronger when he can....
I can't believe he left me the message that I was crazy....
he is in such an ugly world can't believe he chosed it instead of a loving home with me
You are right no woman would put up with what we have and one day they will realize what they have lost in us. The drugs is their love it's their life...
My b/f was the sweetest guy, now he is cold and has no expression on his voice or face.
Do you think that in time their personality gets worse, he is smoking pot every day and using something stronger when he can....
I can't believe he left me the message that I was crazy....
he is in such an ugly world can't believe he chosed it instead of a loving home with me
marie, you know my story on my ex from other posts and he has been out of prison for about a year and a half and and he is about as worse if not ten times worse than before he went in. that would be his third prison bid, it is not going to get better on its own. when i last saw him, he was smoking weed and drinking and that was within the last month. no matter what you say or do will not change what he is doing, you have to go on with your life and not let someone bring you down, becuz they will bring you down and take everything from you if you let them, at least for me now its not whether i love him, its whether i love myself enough to let it go, becuz i deserve better and i am determined to have better. if he came back would i take him back, he has a habit of trying to squirrel his way back in, well from what i know and have learned he would have to be in serious recovery and have some time at it, and since he claims he LOVES TO DRINK i doubt i will ever see that.
marie you are not alone here
carol
marie you are not alone here
carol
Marie at least yours only called you crazy, I was called a pyscho B, not only that but he also called me a crackW, I mean I've never touched that stuff...does that even make sense? He's so cold too..he finally got a hold of me I was sorta knocked out (took half a tranquilizer to help me sleep) and answered the phone. You know after everything he put me through you'd think he'd be sucking up like a normal guy would but no, he's still calling me a psycho and blaming me. He said well when I moved in last week and wanted sex and you said no you went on for 4 hours. Well I have to! If I don't, he can't take no for an answer and he pouts and whines...seriously if that was enough to bother him then I can't live like that. I can't have him move in with me so that he will control my reactions.
Then he decided to accuse me of cheating on him like he always does. Well at least this time his accusations were justified..this is the third time I've cheated on him..after all the insults and everythings he's done to me it was nice to be around a guy who was actually nice to me. I wouldn't date this guy and I feel bad for the one night stand but I was in a messed up place..
Then he decided to accuse me of cheating on him like he always does. Well at least this time his accusations were justified..this is the third time I've cheated on him..after all the insults and everythings he's done to me it was nice to be around a guy who was actually nice to me. I wouldn't date this guy and I feel bad for the one night stand but I was in a messed up place..
Carol: Why do you think my b/f and yours are worse now then when they were in prison? wouldn't the experience of being lokced up be an incentive for change?
My b/f is not only an addict but has major emotioanl problems.
I feel so bad that I hit him I am not a violent person but I just smacked him without thinking.
Kitty:Try to be strong, I know how hard it is....I can't help but worry about b/f...I can't believe he said I was crazy when he is the one that is doing all the wrong things...My b/b can't even hold a job only works once a week, I know he is headed for something really bad.
He's 35, he should be married with kids. I am so frustrated that I can't get through to him. How can he want to live in the streets instead of coming home to a nice and loving home....
I know I will probably hear from him again but I don't tink it will be anytime soon.
I wish I didn't love him but I do, I just can't be with him.
I threw up my lunch and am not doing very well....
Kity are you feeling better?
My b/f is not only an addict but has major emotioanl problems.
I feel so bad that I hit him I am not a violent person but I just smacked him without thinking.
Kitty:Try to be strong, I know how hard it is....I can't help but worry about b/f...I can't believe he said I was crazy when he is the one that is doing all the wrong things...My b/b can't even hold a job only works once a week, I know he is headed for something really bad.
He's 35, he should be married with kids. I am so frustrated that I can't get through to him. How can he want to live in the streets instead of coming home to a nice and loving home....
I know I will probably hear from him again but I don't tink it will be anytime soon.
I wish I didn't love him but I do, I just can't be with him.
I threw up my lunch and am not doing very well....
Kity are you feeling better?
Marie, I'm so sorry you are also going through this! I haven't eaten anything, I drank more this weekend than I have in a long time. So I'm not doing great either. I still need more sleep but its hard not even a tranquilizer worked. I know how bad you feel about hitting him. I felt so bad when we got into a huge fight (he was pushing my buttons ANYONE would've hit him) and I hit him really hard in the head with a remote control. Then I hit him with my plastic garbage can and it broke into pieces. Ya I was acting like a pyscho then but I couldn't help myself you know! He was being so rude. I got over it, you will too...
Take care of yourself...I know how hard it is to eat when we are going through this..
Take care of yourself...I know how hard it is to eat when we are going through this..
Kitty: I feel so bad for you, hopefully things will be better tomorrow. I went to this wedding on Saturday without b/f and this guy wanted to dance with me at the reception and also the dj asked for my phone #, I decline them both. My heart is with my b/f....I shouldn't even call him b/f he is nothing of mine anymore the man I fell un love with is just a memory.....
I am trying to be strong but my heart aches....
Try to get some rest...
I am trying to be strong but my heart aches....
Try to get some rest...
Well I got a little bit of sleep. He called and he is insisting he knows I cheated last night and now he's insisting I take a lie detector test, he'll pay for it and he said he'll take one too to prove he didn't.
Whatever, even if he does find out who cares, he spent the weekend doing crack and lying to me and being extremely rude. Laenger said it right, they are no longer really the person they were before the drugs. They have changed.
He'll never be a normal, loving individual..not ever. Not until he gets off the drugs. He's such a HORRIBLE person to not just me but everyone! Sometimes i just hate him so much.
Whatever, even if he does find out who cares, he spent the weekend doing crack and lying to me and being extremely rude. Laenger said it right, they are no longer really the person they were before the drugs. They have changed.
He'll never be a normal, loving individual..not ever. Not until he gets off the drugs. He's such a HORRIBLE person to not just me but everyone! Sometimes i just hate him so much.
Dear Kitty and those of us who are going through the present. You all are in my prayers. I know you all will be strong because of our recent trauma. My b/f came over yesterday and blamed me for all the missing jewelry and said if anything else goes missing, it's my fault. TO HELL WITH THAT~!
To all that has posted, I know what you are going thru my husband is a recovering alcoholic, he has been sober for 15 years but for the first 5 years of our life he put me thru hell, I went to alanon a few times and the one thing that stuck with me is that sometimes we are just a sick or crazy as the one with the addiction. You can not let them have the power to make you this way I know it is hard, believe me I have been thru it all. You want so bad for them to quit and you cannot understand why if they love you that they put you thru all this, and why do you keep going back and letting them do this to you. May I suggest that you check out some alanon meetings they will help. You have no control over your bf or spouses, whatever the case may be, addiction you can not make him stop he has to make that choice, and all the yelling hitting, cussing or whatever will not make him do it, he will just keep dragging you down with him so your only choice is to take care of yourself, if you do decide to stay in this relationship then try out the alanon meettings. Take care and my prayers will be with you.